Care Series, Week 3: How To Treat One Another
by Dan MacLeod
April 19, 2023 · New Life Terre Haute (New Life Fellowship)
Kind: teaching
Scripture: Psalm 133, Ephesians 4:2-3, 1 Peter 5:5, 1 John 3:16, Genesis 4, 1 Samuel 17, Luke 15, Ephesians 4:29-32, Romans 12:10, 1 Timothy 5:17, Genesis 9:22-23, Galatians 6:1, 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/dan-macleod--care-series-week-3-how-to-treat-one-another
Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page.
Free to copy and share with attribution.

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And we're continuing in our sanctuary series on the topic of care. And Brother Barber, two weeks ago, spoke on new member care, the care that is given to those who are new to new life, whether that's new by being born again into the kingdom or new by moving and acclimating to the body. And then last week, Pastor Shock spoke on caring for our pastor and his family. And both of those were phenomenal. And as we look to the Scripture tonight in some ways, what we will discuss, we'll tie back into both of those. But the assignment given to me this evening is to talk about internal care, which is how members of the body, or in our context, how members of new life treat each other. An important subject, amen? Amen. So we're going to begin tonight in Psalms 133 by talking about a culture of unity, a familiar Scripture to many of us that begins, behold, so the psalmist is calling our

attention to order, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like the precious ointment upon the head that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard that went down to the skirts of his garments. As the dew of Herman and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion, for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore. If you've got a pen, you're taking notes, whether on the handout or in your Bible, that word there is a good word to underline. What the writer is doing is he's drawing our attention to both in the natural, a particular geographical location, but by spiritual application, he's drawing it to a particular attitude or behavior where the Lord commands his blessing. So as much as in the natural, the blessing was commanded upon the mountains of Zion and the spiritual, the blessing is commanded upon the place which is in unity. I would tell you tonight,

unity is the place of God's commanded blessing. This is very different than a potential blessing. It's very different than an optional blessing. This is, there are certainly things that we are granted opportunity to lay hold of. In this case, the Bible is telling us that when the Lord looks upon a place and there is unity, in that place there he commands his blessing. And this is what we're endeavoring to do. We're trying to create a culture of unity. We want it to be that God would look upon our families, that God would look upon our church, that the Lord would look upon our city and say, that place is unified. There's unity there. And because of that, I will command my blessing on that house. Now, I hope I speak for everybody here tonight, but I would like to live in that kind of blessing. I would like to live in the atmosphere that's governed by the commanded blessing of God. But if

we desire that, we have to seek unity. Ephesians chapter 2, verses 2 and 3. The Bible says, with all lowliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, with all lowliness and meekness, we should take note of these, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I draw your attention to these words in verse 3, to keep the unity of the Spirit. It's noteworthy that Paul did not write that we are to create the unity of the Spirit. We are not the author of unity. It comes from God. God creates unity. The natural order of all things from God come in a unified state. But because of sin, there's actually a law, a theory of science that proves the teaching of evolution, and that is that things tend to a natural state of disorder or

to chaos. The theory of evolution would tell you that things just evolve for the better. It just keeps getting better, but everything in the natural world tells you that's not true. Don't do any maintenance on your car for the next year, and let's meet next April and see how things are going. Don't do any maintenance on your air conditioner or your furnace, and let's meet next summer, and let's see how things look a year from now. Everything in our world requires care because there is a natural tendency to chaos or to disorder. But in the original state of creation, the way God gives us this, he gives it to us in a perfect or unified state. This is why Paul says you're not supposed to create the unity. Our job is to keep the unity. That word keep comes from a Greek word tereo, meaning to attend to or to carefully guard. Paul is calling their attention to this idea of unity. He's

saying this comes from God. This is how God wants you to live. This is the state God has ordained for your life and your church. Remember this is written to the church at Ephesus. But your responsibility is to keep it, implying that it requires our careful attention. This doesn't just happen by chance, but it requires each of us to give ourselves diligently to the work of staying unified. And so in this verse we find five attitudes that help us keep unity. The first he says is lowliness. I understand sometimes with the King James Bible and this old English the depth of these words is lost because I'm going to venture against this evening there's not many of us that use lowliness in our daily vocabulary. And so we're going to consider what these words mean. Lowliness simply means to have a humble opinion of oneself. It can be translated to mean modesty. Now I understand especially in our context when we use the

word modesty our minds are most often taken to modesty of attire. And we're talking about modesty of dress. And there are certainly many scriptures that speak to that principle. But here in Ephesians 4 Paul is particularly talking about our attitude and not our attire. So what does it mean to have modesty of attitude? Well it means the same thing that modesty of attire does it just it's a different application. Modesty of attire means that you are clothing your physical body in such a way that you're not revealing everything you have. You maintain a sense of dignity and self-control and self-respect by dressing modestly. Now the application is very similar but he's not talking about your physical appearance as much as your conduct or your attitude. So in the same way my attire close me so that I don't reveal everything to be lowliness or have modesty of attitude means I conduct myself in such a way I'm not showing everything I

have. It's not wrong for you to acknowledge the gifts that God has given you. It's not wrong for you to have an internal confidence because you know God has put capability in you. It's not wrong for you to be blessed in a particular area of work or ministry or financially but it is your responsibility to live with a lowliness of mind, a modesty of attitude where you're not going about and just showing all that you have and all that you are. The second thing he says is with lowliness you are to have meekness. This means gentleness particularly speaking in the context of our interaction one with another. I am to be gentle in my interaction with you. Now meekness does not mean that you are not direct it does not mean that there will not be confrontation or correction but it does speak to the attitude through which these things come. I've observed in my life and ministry on multiple occasions I've seen

people who are anointed by God who had received things from God in a prayer room. They had revelation from God that came from the Scripture but when they got in the pulpit they lost this quality of meekness or in their interaction with people they forsook the quality of meekness and now what was granted to them by prayer what was granted to them by study and revelation it did not bear any fruit in the kingdom for this simple reason they lost the quality of meekness in their interaction with people. So we have to learn how to be gentle with one another now we have to be honest and sometimes honesty can be a little bit prickling can be a little bit uncomfortable but we are commanded to be meek to be gentle be considerate of how these words will be received how do they sound how how will this feel I'm to be gentle in my interaction with you Paul says the third thing

is this it's long suffering this this would be the modern definition of patience or equivalent to patience we understand what patience means but that word long suffering is a it's a little bit more descriptive and maybe a little bit more unpleasant you know what it means it means to suffer long now if you're anything like me you have a a short fuse but just because you have a short fuse doesn't mean you have permission to live by that short fuse because when you got filled with the Holy Ghost God gave you access to something he said Dan McLeod you don't have enough patience in your flesh but I'm going to connect you to a vine and let you draw from my well of patience literally meaning I'm going to give you the ability to suffer long I'm going to give you the ability to suffer and still have joy to suffer and still have peace I'm going to give you the ability to

suffer and still treat the people you're suffering from with kindness this is the Bible says he was like a lamb led to the slaughter he opened on his mouth if anybody had a reason to react it was him but you know what he was doing he was drawing from this internal source this ability to suffer long and not react and so Paul is saying you want to have unity you're gonna have to learn how to suffer long I know you feel justified in saying that and reacting and you feel like you deserve to do this and respond like this but if new life wants unity new life has to learn how to suffer long I know that's not very American doesn't appeal to any of us because there's nothing in us that welcomes suffering but we're talking about the kingdom of God here it operates on another plane of understanding it doesn't make sense to our natural world but if we're going to

have unity in the body all of us are going to have to learn how to suffer long literally means to have a slowness of response in avenging wrongs not just discomforts and but when you've been done wrong for the sake of the body you don't respond the way you want to you just suffer long well somebody say amen number four forbearance very similar to uh long suffering but a little bit different it's perhaps not as deep and that it deals with suffering but it it simply means to sustain or to endure all those little things that are such quick triggers for our temperament or our flesh that in our natural man we're inclined to to respond and to speak and to know paul says you're going to have to learn how to have forbearance to forbear one another endure one another now I hate to have to tell you this tonight because it's going to sound bad but there's probably going to be

people that are part of this body and if there's not yet in the Lord shattery I promise you they will come that the way God made you and the way God made them you probably aren't going to be the best of friends that's just that's just facts and then what we do is we say well if God would just change them we'd kind of get along and they're thinking if God would just change them just this little tweak here and there we probably we get along a little bit better well those parts of you may never change and so what do we have to do we have to learn how how forbearance one with another to forbear those uniqueness of personality and those those differences and this is just a reality now you've probably got siblings that you grew up with that you were a little bit closer to one than the other or you've got some cousins that you grew up with

you were a little bit closer with some of them than the other some of that may have been influenced by geography or family dynamics and some of it may have been influenced by personality that same thing is true in the church there'll be people that you're more inclined to develop a relationship with based on interest or age or demographic and hobbies and all the now those ones that you may not be as quick or as interested in or you may be inclined to dismiss or overlook you know what you're gonna you're gonna have to develop this thing called forbearance because it might not be that there's anything wrong with you or with them it might be just you have different personalities so it may not be that anybody has to change or that anything's wrong you just need forbearance in your personal interaction the last thing he says the fifth attitude that keeps unity is endeavoring it means to give diligence or to

have zeal towards something so after describing these things this is what paul's saying you have to endeavor you have to have a diligent zeal you have to be passionate about keeping the unity of the spirit i can tell you what what comes down from god and what flows out from our pastor from behind this pulpit comes to us in a beautiful state of god ordained unity but as we start working out things in the body there is this natural tendency to chaos and to disorder that if we're not careful it just shows up disunity just shows up and so paul's saying just just be aware of this that doesn't necessarily mean there's any great sin or great wrong that it there's just a natural state of disorder that things are going to be given to move towards disunity that's why we have to be diligent zealous in our pursuit of keeping unity first peter five and five likewise you younger submit yourselves under

the elder yay all of you be subject one to another and be clothed with humility for god resisted the proud and give us grace to the humble you can underline that phrase be clothed with humility i'm not sure if there's any parents that have had these conversations since the the inauguration of life academy but on more than one occasion particularly my middle boy has asked me the question why do we have to wear this uniform i said because that's the rule well i don't like it so well it doesn't really matter if you don't like it that's what sister tammy said that's what sister walis said and quite frankly makes it a whole lot easier on us you see there's a there's a certain sense of unity of thought when you put a uniform on a bunch of kids you go to that you you walk just a few blocks down you can find public schools all through this city where the sense

of unity is corrupted by socioeconomic fast factors and a certain style on one kid makes them popular and the lack of it on another kid makes them unwelcome with a certain group you deal with a lot of junk you just put a uniform on a kid you can get rid of a lot of that now he might have a little attitude his parents got to deal with and say that's what you're wearing because that's what the rule says but you can deal with a lot of unnecessary things by having a uniform and when peter writes here be clothed with humility what he's telling you is humility is the uniform of the church it's not your brand of suit it's not the store you shop at it's not the car you drive it's the attitude that governs us humility is the uniform he said be clothed with it let the attitude of humility be the the observable attitude of your life when somebody looks

at you and they say well i i see your night t-shirt they in the spiritual sense should be able to look at you and say you know what there's a humility about those people there's a meekness there's a gentleness about those people so if you want to know what humility looks like tonight jesus just look to him he is the perfect example of it first john 316 says hereby perceive we the love of god this is how we know god loves us because he god laid down his life for us and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren you want to know what humility looks like look to jesus what he'd do well he set aside preference opinion comfort or he said all that aside he laid down his own life now john says you should do the same if he did it you do it now i know laying down your life is the extreme end of this

application but let's just make it more daily because no one's going to have to physically lay down their life daily but there's probably going to be more than one occasion in the course of the week where you have to lay down your preference you have to lay down your opinion your desire to defend your desire to to share your opinion or your idea that makes you feel righteous or justified sometime you're going to lay that down in the interest of humility so that can govern the greater body somebody who who operates in a true spirit of humility let me take that statement back i'm not sure operates the best word it's it's a clinical word it's good in a certain context but you can get an operation from somebody that you have no relationship with somebody who lives by the the true influence of godly humility this is what they're going to do they will use their gifts and their abilities to serve

other people they're going to go about doing what jesus did the bible said he went about doing good just looking for opportunity to do good in the body i can tell you as somebody like brother barber was addressing a couple weeks ago who is who has moved in and was acclimated to the body of new life i can tell you there was some people in our first few weeks and a couple months here who unnecessarily went out of their way to do this now brother larry wall is he's a busy man they've got a company he serves in all different ways around this church and this property he's just he's always looking for something to do and in the midst of everything he could be busy with when we were getting ready to move into our house he came and showed up with his truck and trailer one day so we could move all of our stuff out of that bus barn into

that house he didn't have to do that he's got things that are probably far more important than lugging my furniture with me into the back of his trailer and driving it across town and lugging it into a house but what was he doing he was taking his ability and things god has blessed him with and seeking to alleviate the burden that i was carrying in the present moment he was also doing the second thing and this is the the second thing you'll know about somebody who lives under the influence of godly humility they don't do it for self glory now i don't think brother wallace is on social media but he probably wouldn't have post about it if he was he certainly didn't do it because he knew in a few months time i would use it as illustration on a wednesday night but look at jesus jesus shows up and he starts doing miracles and what do you think the man who

just gets healed wants to do he wants to go tell everybody and jesus says well no please don't and when they want to take him and make him a king he dismisses himself from the crowd because he knew in his humanity there's a way i will get to the throne but it has to be god's way it's not by vain glory it's not by selfish ambition and so even though they want to do it i know it's not yet time i'm using my power and my ability to heal the sick and raise the dead and do all these great miracles i'm not doing it to serve myself it's not time yet so what does godly humility looks like it looks like using whatever god has given us to help other people and not doing it with the motive of bringing myself glory but bringing him glory and so tonight i want to i want to look at three different stories from scripture where

we'll find some some just real simple application and what i call fixing family problems i'm not going to read these these stories and their fullness for the sake of time tonight the references in your notes if by chance you're not familiar with them i would encourage you to read them later but i will paraphrase them briefly to try to make sure we have some understanding the story of canaan abel and genesis four they both bring a sacrifice to god it it seems like in the moment that they're offering the sacrifice that they're in unity but once they leave the time of sacrifice they get back out into the field this issue shows up the problem arises here's what i would offer for your consideration tonight it looks like we're in unity you come in here sunday and it looks like everybody's in unity because at the time of the sacrifice or when we gather to worship everything looks good but what i've learned

is when we leave the time of sacrifice if there is an issue that's when it's going to show up it's not going to show up in the middle of worship service on sunday morning it's not going to rise halfway through pastor sermon when it's going to show up is when you walk out the church doors and you're sitting around a table on sunday afternoon when it's going to show up was when you get home from work monday evening and you're tired and you're not controlling your tongue the way you should and that thing that's been stirred in you for a little while recklessly comes out it always looks good at the time of sacrifice but when they get back to the field the issue shows up the story would tell us that can kills his brother and a fit of uncontrolled emotion and rage and i know it's easy to look at this story and think my goodness kane and abel really had

a problem with one another but i remind you tonight abel had done no wrong he had done no wrong in fact i would submit tonight that canes issue wasn't really with abel kane had an issue with god it was god that wouldn't accept his sacrifice but i would also submit this for your consideration when somebody has an issue with god it will generally come out in the relationships with others and so canes issue with god his his anger towards the lord for not accepting his sacrifice and his envy towards his brother has caused him to direct this uncontrolled emotion towards his brother when really the issue working inside of him has no fault of abel it was god that said this sacrifice is not good and so kane in a moment of envy and uncontrolled emotion moves to commit an act of harm towards his own brother the result the lord comes to him and says where is your brother he has the

audacity to actually answer the living god and say am i my brother's keeper this is his way of neglecting what he knew was his god given responsibility not everybody in this house is going to be called to preach or teach in the pulpit not everybody is going to share in a calling of a musician or a singer but can i can i tell you you may never be a sunday school teacher but can i tell you the calling that every single member of the body shares to be your brother's keeper and because of what he had done to his brother the lord comes to him and says this this ground will no longer yield its strength the ability to harvest here it's cursed the ground is cursed all because of how you treated your brother that's a scary thought years of work years of prayer years of fasting years of sunday after sunday and message after message and alter call after alter call

and harvest after harvest all of that can be lost because of how one brother treated another and so tonight i offer these two points from this story for you to consider the first be willing to repent if if you've carried an attitude towards a member of the body that has been detrimental to the unity of the family and has hindered your spiritual walk with the lord please i implore you tonight have the humility to repent this is what i can tell you about new life nobody's going to shame you for repenting nobody's going to hold it over your head if there's somebody that you owe an apology to they may not even know it but you know you need to do it for your spiritual well-being be willing to repent i promise you you're going to find love you're going to find acceptance and mercy and kindness but you have to be willing to repent this wasn't abel's issue and it was

not god's issue it was an issue in the own heart of kane because he was not at peace in his walk with the lord the second thing is this be willing to learn from others be willing to learn from others if you see somebody who's excelling in a particular area of life that you're not maybe you're struggling in or you just have a desire to grow beyond where you are in that particular area of life have the humility to learn from others if you see somebody who's got a a discipline of bible reading and bible study or teaching home bible studies or they've got a prayer life that that you admire or you're envious of or they they've got a musical ability or they've got a way with people a kind smile a disarming heart and just a graciousness if you see something in somebody that you feel you have need of or that you admire have the humility to learn from them

a couple weeks ago we were having dinner with uh ryan and amanda walis and after we ate we were sitting around the fire and we were sharing stories and life experiences and he was sharing some things with me and uh now i'm gonna i don't mean this to sound arrogantly but this is an arena that i'm i'm comfortable in i've done this for almost 15 years now 15 years i feel comfortable here but there are some areas that though i may work in of necessity but not particularly comfortable in he starts talking about his business and running a business and dealing with people and all these different dynamics and i had to say to him i said well brother ryan i gotta just be honest with you that that that's an area that that i've not really had i don't really know much about tell me more about that let me hear a little bit more now i i i know some things

out of necessity i can steward my household i can i can budget my household and i can i can manage my my uh four and a half employees because we have a puppy now that's my wife and three kids and a puppy i you know i managed managed that realm of influence and i've served in a pastoral role i've served in district capacities where there were certain uh areas of stewardship i was i was responsible for but i've got to have the humility of mind to recognize when somebody has a gift or an ability and experience in an area that i may not and be open to seeking their opinion or perspective there's some things i've inquired of pastor about even as as uh this is an area that i'm comfortable in and ministry is not a foreign environment to me any longer at this season of my life i recognize i've not yet attained everything there is to attain so that there's

some things that are presented to me in decisions i have to navigate you yes i'm going to pray but then you i'm going to do i'm going to get on the phone and i'm pastor i need to know what do i do here how do i handle this do i say yes to this or do i say no this is what i think and this is the benefit and this is maybe the repercussion but but what do you think you you've done this longer you've gone a little farther than me you have a perspective i don't have i have to be willing to learn from others our next example comes from first samuel 17 you probably know this story at least the mention of it the great story of david and goliath but i draw your attention to an exchange that happens in this story that is often overlooked david who a chapter prior had been called out from among his brothers and

anointed by the prophet to be the king of the nation now shows up at the battlefield in the valley of ilah in this instance it's important for us to know this he is not there because he is an egotistical teenage boy who wants to be the king he's not there because of any sense of carnal ambition he is there because he is is an obedient son and he is on assignment from his father his dad said here's a basket of goods i want you to go to the battlefield give it to your brothers and i want you to check on them because there was a daddy at home who is concerned about the welfare of his children i feel the holy ghost right now you got to know the heart of god towards you he's concerned about how you're faring in the battle and he sends another one of his sons to check on his other sons that are in the heat of

the battle if you want to know what the church should look like that's a pretty good picture because there's some people in this body that are in the heat of the battle i'm telling you i feel the holy ghost right now they're battling in their family they're battling in their marriage they're battling with their kids they're battling their career they're battling financially and what god needs is somebody to have the heart of the father and be like david take some goods to the battle check on your brothers and then come back to me this is what that looks like you call that one you know that's having a hard time you say hey i'd like to take you out to lunch this week take them a little bread and cheese get them a little real haciander ricks barbecue or monocles pizza and then after you have a good little godly fellowship come back to the lord and carry their burden in prayer that's

what the church should look like but the problem was when david showed up on an assignment from his father to serve his brothers and bring back a report he is met by the suspicion of his own brother and elliab hastily speaks these harsh words of accusation against his own family oh david yeah i know why you're here i know the naughtiness of your heart he has no idea he's uncertain of his own brother's potential or his purpose at even being there and he just starts casting these accusations he's doubtful of david's motive and his ability to help him in that moment so as much as i would admonish you to be somebody that would seek the care of another person i must also admonish us that that if the lord should move upon the heart of somebody to come and serve you and love you and be kind to you have the humility to receive it you know it could even be that

you don't need you don't really need what they're bringing you but maybe god is allowing it to be a test of where you are will you humble yourself to receive what you don't really have need of so yours is a test of humility but the double blessing is it gives that person a little experience and caring for the body so your ability to humble yourself and receive what you don't have need of gave that other member of the body a little experience and growth in their ministry to another member of the body the problem was this whole story it was almost if not by the grace of god it almost almost almost thrown off by his his suspicion his suspicion of david's motive his accusation he had no idea that when he was accusing his brother he was actually discrediting the command of his father because david didn't come there on his own accord he came on the command of his father so

i would tell you tonight don't operate on assumptions i know sometimes it's easy to think we have it all figured out it's easy to look at somebody and say i know what they're thinking i know what their motive is it's very easy to assume so let's just let's just decide tonight we're not going to operate on assumptions and second i encourage you to seek opportunities to work together not just be together but work together because this is what's happening even though we're in the midst of a little conflict between david and his brother ultimately we move past those those rough exchange of words and they both participate in the battle now i know david gets the glory because he's the one that killed the giant but the fact is his brother had been fighting in that army and continued to fight in that army so they were both enlisted as soldiers in that present moment as if to say you know what let's

just set our opinions aside let's set our preferences aside and let's just agree to fight on the same team towards our common goal to seek opportunities to work together not just worship together but work together carry the burden of the body together if that that person you know maybe be a greeter together may maybe find a way to serve somebody together maybe two families could get together and find a way to be a blessing to another family in need seek opportunities to i'm to it's so simple the littlest things our first couple weeks here elder and sister hudegers showed up at the little apartment with pulled pork for us one night the littlest things mean the grandest of meanings my wife texts me it was monday night i was in dallas for a wedding and she texts me she said ragan's here mowing our lawn again i didn't ask him to come mow our lawn it's the littlest of things it's a it's

a gift card in their hand it's it's groceries on the doorsteps it's a a phone call to let them know you're praying it's a it's a text message with an invitation to come the littlest things can really be such significant contributions to the unity of the body it's just seeking opportunities to care for one for another the third example comes from luke 15 we often we often call it the story of the prodigal son but there's so much there's so much there that's beyond the prodigal son this this boy he was wrong and blatantly disobeying his father he disobeyed his godly authority he disrespected his family but when he came to himself in a pigpen one day he did try to make it right uncertain of the outcome he begins the journey home with the intention of maybe just being a servant in his father's house that means he's uncertain of what the outcome of this is going to look like but but

i know even even a servant in my daddy's house will be better than where i am right now he begins the journey home and he quickly realizes his father's love hasn't grown cold all the waste and all the worry and all the trouble he had caused and all the heartache he had brought upon his dad it didn't wax that father's love cold the bible said he'd been standing there waiting looking and when he saw him yet a great way off he comes off the doorstep of that house and he starts running to that wayward child what a beautiful picture of mercy tonight god doesn't wait for you to get back to where you need to be he doesn't wait for you to get it all together you don't have to be perfect if you'll just have the humility to repent to have a change of direction to show god i'm moving towards you then god says that's great because god doesn't wait for

you to get to the destination he just waits for you to have a change of direction and with that change of direction the father comes running to him well we're gonna have a party now give me the clothes they're freshly pressed in the closet give me that ring somebody fetch him a pair of new shoes and go and kill the fatted calf not a fatted calf the that's a calf that was being made fat reserved for a particular purpose and daddy said now is a fitting time for the fatted calf what rejoicing breaks out in daddy's house there's celebration over mercy and love in the process of restoration you got to hear this now it's literally in the process of the restoration the heart of the elder brother is revealed he doesn't know why they're celebrating now i know on the surface it could just seem to be a matter of geography maybe maybe the celebration's happening over here and the sun is

over here but i would submit to you when you read to the end of the story we see it's more than geography and it's a lot to do with attitude he's uncertain of the cause for celebration he asked the question what's all the noise about why why is there such great celebration happening at my father's house and further telling is this when he wants to know the cause for celebration he doesn't come to his father he goes to his servant he doesn't go to the one above him he goes to the one beneath him it seems to imply to me that even though he lives in proximity with the father in the sense of geography he's not in very close proximity and sense of the heart oh he's in his father's house he just doesn't have his father's heart and so here he comes angry and the bible says he is not even willing to go in the house now think about this

this is his brother his his brother who's been wayward and lost and they thought he was dead they they didn't know if they would ever see him again he's home and this father is so happy and so thankful and so joyous that his son has come home and he is so angry he won't even walk in the house now i want to be fair because pain is a real thing and this prodigal son has put this family through some pain and that pain is real this this elder brother he sat in the living room and watched his father rock back and forth by the fireplace crying night after night wondering where his son is he's seen the pain his father has carried because the actions of his own brother and so there's a little bit of resentment in him there's an unwillingness to forgive so you know what he does he compares himself to the brother you've never you've never had a party

like this for me you've never killed a fatted calf for me and i've never i've never transgressed your word i've kept your every word and here he is he hurts you and he betrayed you and he dishonored you and you're going to do this for him gotta tell you tonight we don't measure our goodness against anyone in the body we measure our goodness against the father and if you want to know how to treat people don't take your cues on the basis of comparison take your cues on the actions and the attitude of the father so your pain might be real your hurt might be real there that that resentment can be a real thing and that unforgiveness can be a real force you got to work through in your life but ultimately you don't act on the basis of of comparing yourself to what somebody else did or didn't do if the father's happy if the father's rejoicing then i've got to

take my cue from him and what daddy says back to the boy this this is it's profound to me son thou art ever with me and all that i have is thine everything on my house is yours what what do you mean i didn't ever kill you a fatted calf all that i have is yours here was the problem his attitude towards his brother kept him from accessing what his father had all along so i tell you tonight you've got to be willing to forgive you may have been hurt you may have been done wrong but i implore you for the sake of the unity of new life fellowship forgive keep the heart of the father Ephesians 4 i don't have time to break down these verses but i got to read them i want you to hear this let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying that may minister grace under

the hears grieve not the holy spirit of god whereby you're sealed under the day of redemption hear this let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice and be kind one to another tenderhearted forgiving one another even as god for christ's sake have forgiven you you want to know how to treat other people just look at how god's treated you when he forgave you when you did wrong and when you acted out and you grieved him and but you came back and there he was arms wide open and his presence washed over you like it had so many times before hey if he can do it for us we can do it for anyone romans 1210 be kindly affection one to another with brotherly love and honor preferring one another i've got a hurry because the time but lastly i'll talk to you about a culture of honor this will tie in

with what pastor shock shared last week the principles go beyond that sphere but i just felt so strongly in preparation over the past couple days to close with this first timothy 517 says let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor especially those who labor in the word and doctrine if i could give it the dmv that's the dan mclow version i would i would tell you this tonight let pastor harpole who rules well be counted worthy of double honor because he labors in the word and doctrine why do i direct your eyes back to authority because ultimately that's where this all flows from you know why kane killed his brother because he had an issue with his authority you know why elliab was carelessly accusing his brother because he didn't know the command that had come down from his own father you know why the elder brother was acting the way he was acting because he wasn't in alignment

with his father you see this is where the junk shows up but generally this is the heart of the issue so i tell you tonight a culture of honor is committed to handling humanity in a way that first honors god and helps people i'm not going to read it tonight but i think the reference is in your handout genesis 9 and 22 what do you do when you see the humanity in the house the bible talks about ham one of the sons of noa he comes in the tent and he sees the nakedness of his father he walks out of the tent and he starts telling his two brothers you wouldn't in there he's got no clothes and the bible says shem and japheth they pick up a garment and they laid it upon their shoulders and they walk backward into the tent and they cover up their father and so i've got to ask you tonight what do you do when you

see the humanity in this house he's called by god and he's anointed by god but he's still human what do you do when you see the humanity do you come out of that and did you expose the humanity of the pastor or the leaders or even another member of the body do you expose their human nature in an attempt to demean them or shame them and elevate self or do you do the honorable thing by trying to hide their humanity i've been around long enough to know that there are sadly god help us but there are some throughout the world i hope not here but there are some who would take the humanity of people and use it as an opportunity to discredit them and try to bring credit to themselves so i have to ask you tonight what do you do when you see the humanity in this house what do you do when you realize that the pastor's not perfect and

his family's not perfect and the musicians aren't perfect and the person across the aisle from you is not perfect what do you do when you see the humanity in the house now if there's a legitimate issue there's a means for issues to be dealt with there's god given authority to deal with those issues but i'm talking right now about a culture of honor a culture that says we're not going to pray on the humanity of people we're not going to take people's mistakes or struggles or because every now and then somebody's going to have a mistake somebody's going to have a slip up and somebody might might misspeak and somebody may accidentally do something that offends you or offends there's going to be some things we've got to work through that's why we're striving to keep the unity but the question has to be asked what do we do when we see the humanity in this house do we talk about it do

we expose it or do we hide it this is what i've learned familiarity can rob us of these virtues that's why we have to work to keep it familiarity it will rob us of unity it'll rob us of honor that's why paul said you've got to keep this you've got to diligently strive you have to care for this you have to tend to this just like a gardener would tend to his gardener a soldier would guard a fortress you have got to guard the body of new life you've got to cultivate this culture in the body that says we're not going to fixate ourselves on the humanity of people but we're going to do that being kind and tenderhearted we're going to we're going to have lowliness of mind you want to know the real test of spirituality paul said in galatians six and one ye which are spiritual restore one another in the spirit of meekness considering thyself lest they'll also be

tempted real spirituality is not your ability to speak in tongues he's not wave your hands on sunday it's not to look good real spirituality is to live with this governing meekness that you can deal with somebody who might be weaker than you and struggling in an area that you're not where if you it'd be real easy to say well i'm just i'm better than them i guess i i'm more spiritual i i just i guess i pray more than they do and no real spirituality is having a meekness where you realize oh my goodness if it could happen to them if i'm not careful it could happen to me and that meekness will produce a compassion that i will care for them that's true spirituality and so can i just implore us tonight let's not operate on assumption or suspicion let's not needlessly cast accusation against our body or against the leadership you may not understand everything some things may offend you just

just hear me you don't know the weight they carry give them the benefit of the doubt and should there be something that happens or said or that's done or not done and it's an opportunity for an element of disunity to start rising in the soil of your heart start tending the garden you you don't have to get on the phone and say well pastor didn't call me back when he said he was going to call me back or pastor said this and i don't agree with this or he said this when he was preaching and i felt like it was no just just give the benefit of the doubt our tendency is to try to make the body about us but if we're going to have unity we have to forsake us ourselves and consider us collectively stand together with me 1st Thessalonians 5 12 and 13 the apostle says and we beseech you brethren know them which labor among you and are

over you and the lord and admonish you and esteem them very highly in love for their worksake and be at peace among yourselves now we exhort you brethren what you to notice these distinctions warn them that are unruly comfort the feeble minded support the weak be patient toward all men see that no one pays back evil for evil to anyone but what if they deserve it no anyone means anyone but always pursue what is good for one another and for all i hate to have to tell you this but sometimes what is good for all may not feel good for you but i'm commanded by scripture so this is what i'm doing tonight this is how i'm closing i'm warning you that are unruly if you've been allowing things to cultivate in your life against your spiritual authority that are producing an unruly-ness in your spirit a carelessness a recklessness in your spirituality hear the word of the lord i'm warning you

the end of that road is scary if you're struggling tonight if you're weak if you're feeble minded i want you to hear me there's comfort for you in this body if you'll just do what pastor talks about all the time if you'll just saturate yourself in this house and among these people if you'll be here every midweek and you'll be here every sunday and you'll start finding some some singles or some families to connect with and have dinner a couple times a month or making sure you're you're building some friendships in this body that happened outside of a couple hours a day or two a week i promise you there's comfort here but you've got to lean into relationships thank god that you're leaning into service times but you hear me your strength is going to come from relationships there's trees today that are only standing the test of the storm because their roots were weaved together with the roots of another tree

there will be storms that come and you may not have the strength in yourself to stand but i promise you if you'll build relationships in this body in your weakness god will give you friends and family that you can draw strength from support the week if you're strong in this house if you have no lack or no need if you're here tonight at a place of spiritual health and financial health and if everything's rolling forward in your life thank god but just remember it's not all about you find somebody and support them and lastly just be patient toward all men my how how many how many grievances and fights could have been avoided if we just did that and so i ask you tonight this question who do we want to be because the choice is ours we can pattern ourselves after two brothers in genesis four in the outcome be god say this ground is cursed you don't really understand that that

that means god says new life you pray all you want to pray if you don't figure out how to treat treat each other if you don't figure out how to have unity there will be no harvest so that's one option and god forbid i'm not advocating for it i'm just telling you that that's a possible outcome or we we could look at 1st Samuel 17 again so you know what we're not perfect david and elliab we're not perfect and obviously you assume some things that aren't right and there's some things we need to talk about to work towards unity but at the end of the day this is what they did they set their preferences aside and they both pursued a common victory now i know david gets to glory because he's the one that knocked the giant down but the fact is the victory benefited the entire nation and this is the model i would advocate let's let's be willing to to

work through our differences let's have some fellowship and some conversation to cultivate unity and at the end of the day if we have a difference of opinion or preference let's say you know what the sake of israel is at stake right now it's not about me it's about the future of new life it's about taking down the giant in the valley so you know what let's just elliab let's just set our preferences aside for a moment and let's agree we're on the same team fighting for the same army fighting against the same enemy and let's go deal with this uncircumcised philistine and i know david got the glory but the entire nation benefited and it might be pastor harpole that gets the glory it might be pastor shocker brother barber it might be brother dory he might be it might be zack fishery who it might be reagan it might be brother coffee it could be sister hutteger i was in tennessee district

this week and they were talking to me about how great the huttegers are in discipleship and soul winning i'm telling you there's some kingdom movers in this body so this is what i say god can let whoever he wants deal with the giant what i'm up here tonight is advocating we come into the unity of mind and heart and come into alignment with our pastor and say you know what there's been some uncircumcised philistines in the wall bash valley long enough and if we just get in one mind and one accord set our preferences aside we can fight for the common good and we can all win together because when the giant falls the church is blessed and your family's blessed and my family's blessed but you know what it takes unity unity unity starts right here it flows through our vertical authority down into the body and then we have this responsibility to cultivate the horizontal culture to make sure as the

spirit starts doing what god said he was going to do that that we're just making sure all of our interpersonal relationships are healthy so we don't jeopardize what god has promised to our church in this city jesus name would you lift your hands would you lift up your voice in the name of jesus christ lord i thank you for this church i think it's the greatest church in the world i've never been another place like it but i know even now in the season we are in if there was ever a time for the enemy to try to sow things into the sea soil of our spirit to corrupt our attitude and move us towards the disunity of the body it is now and i pray that by the spirit of the lord and the word that you've spoken in this house tonight may the light of revelation shine brightly in our heart right now may it shine brightly into the culture of

our homes in this church lord in the shadow of this word we're committing ourselves to diligently care for the unity of this body i will set my opinions and my preferences aside i will set my comfort aside and i commit tonight to seek the good of this body i pray the blessing of the lord be upon each one in this house bless every family that's represented i pray the peace of god would go home with us this night i pray the atmosphere of our homes will be governed by an abounding peace and an abounding joy let there be an abundance of the things which come from god and everything the enemy would seek to do we say no we say no envy no suspicion no accusation lord we say none of that but we're going to commit ourselves to forgiveness we're going to commit ourselves to humility and meekness and kindness and love in the mighty name of jesus christ in jesus name

would you give the lord a hand clap of praise we love you jesus we thank you god we thank you god amen now the real work starts one thing to speak is one thing to hear it and when we walk out those doors and we go back to the field that's where the real work of creating unity starts