Living with Loss, Healing with Hope
by Darrell W. Johns
2023 · Atlanta West Pentecostal Church (Lithia Springs, GA)
Kind: sermon
Scripture: Ruth 1:19-21, Luke 2:34-35, Ruth 1:13, Ruth 1:16-17, Ruth 4:13-17, Revelation 21:4-5

Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/darrell-w-johns--living-with-loss-healing-with-hope
Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page.
Free to copy and share with attribution.

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Ruth chapter 1 verse 19. this is in the middle of the story of Naomi and her daughter-in-law Ruth returning to Bethlehem Judah so they too win until they came to Bethlehem they came to pass when they were Come to Bethlehem that all the city was moved about them and they said is this Naomi and she said unto them call me not Naomi call me Mara for the almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty why then call you me Naomi seeing the Lord hath testified against me and the almighty hath Afflicted me tonight I want to speak on the subject living with loss healing with hope and God bless you please be seated I usually don't point out the graphic that has the title but when Ryan sent this to me today I thought this kind of says it they are fading and blooming flowers amen on July 19th according to my Evernote I was praying and this idea came to my mind I made a note and I jotted several other thoughts along the way since then a couple of days ago this theme came back to my mind not a part of a series of messages that I've taught for the past two weeks and I made a feeble attempt to go back and look at a part three of the last two messages but try to listen to the Lord and it just didn't feel right so then I always do a search a global search of my computer and lo and behold I taught on living with loss on May 4 2022 just a little over a year ago so I'm not being dramatic but I thought well I can't teach on that again just taught on it a year ago but then this theme would not go away I reviewed my notes and my jottings and I want to teach on this theme again but from a totally different scriptural perspective and with the focus on healing with hope that was not part of that message before and by the way there's there's a book it's not a really long book by this exact title living with loss healing with Hope was written by a Jewish rabbi I bought this book on Kindle and read it last night it didn't take a super long time and I thought you know when I teach a series usually I review what I taught a week ago so I'm going to review what I taught a year ago how's that and then lots of new stuff and you're welcome to go back May 4th 2022 if you'd like to watch a different message on living with loss it would probably help you amen I I taught that night from the story of Mary from Luke 2 34 when Simeon prophesied over Mary that this trial was set for the Fallen Rising again and many in Israel and for a sign which shall be spoken against and then he said and a sword shall pierce through thine own soul also that the thoughts of the hearts of many be revealed in other words Mary you're going to share a suffering of your son and this is at the dedication of Jesus Christ and that Mary is going to experience loss in her life she lost a sense of normalcy when she consented to be the mother of the Messiah she experienced the loss of her reputation according to history and the text of Matthew Mark Luke and John it seems that Joseph died somewhere between Jesus being 12 and starting his ministry she lost her husband she experienced the loss of ministry to Jesus he was anointed and went off to not stay around the carpenter's shop and do what the Son of God was called to do and he would not even really she would worry about him there's a couple of places in scripture where she was worried that he is is kind of over balanced in Ministry and not taking care of himself he evidently didn't go back home and stay at her house because he said the foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests but the son of man doesn't even have a place to lay his head she watched his suffering she experienced loss again when he died on the cross I talked about the Holmes race stress scale that pretty good detail back in May a year ago and then losses in the Bible loss of relationships and I gave details and Stories Behind These lost through death loss of the familiar a loss of friends through betrayal or misunderstanding job David Jesus and Paul were my examples and then how to live with loss that you should grieve your loss learn from your loss look to the Future and lean on the Lord and I will repeat that later at the end but tonight I want to tell the story of Naomi in the Book of Ruth this story is said in the days of the judges so it's interesting that this is kind of inserted in that time period when judges Ruled the Land and there was a famine in the land in Bethlehem Judah and so a man and his wife decided that times were bad in the church in Bethlehem Judah so they would leave so they did the man's name was elimelech her name was Naomi they had two sons you should use these names with your children melon and Chilean they were the tribe of Ephraim Bethlehem Judah so they left and they made this sojourn it really wasn't a extremely long journey and they went down to Moab a gentile Nation but while they were there the Bible says in verse 2 that they continue there so they were there for a little while and elimelech Naomi's husband died and all she had was her two sons well her two boys melon and Chilean got married to Gentile women this would not have been the plan for a Jewish father and mother that your boys would marry out of the church they would marry out of the faith but they did one was named orpah and the other was named Ruth and about 10 years went by we don't know the exact time frame but the Bible said they dwelled there about 10 years and then her two boys died naylon and Chilean and it would seem that it happened fairly close together and melon and Chilean died also both of them we don't know if it was hours days weeks or months but her husband is now dead her boys are dead she is living with loss now Nate Naomi has lots of losses in her life she's lost her familiar home or she grew up in Bethlehem Judah it was after their family moved to Moab and continued there that elimelech her husband died so now she's a widow she's lost her husband she's lost her sons and she does have her moabitus daughters-in-law who seem to be very good to her and they had a good relationship from the Snippets of scripture that we see but then ten years later of course they're gone melon and Chilean verse 5 says in melon and Chilean died also both of them was like the writer of Ruth is rubbing it in a little bit you know about the losses of nahumi and left of her two sons and her husband so this is a woman who has lost a lot she experienced loss through death and I read that death doesn't just happen to the person who dies it also happens to those who are left behind and it's important to not compare your loss for the loss of other people each death is different each bereavement is unique I have been here 28 years this month as pastor and I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death with many of you and you have walked through the valley of the shadow of death with our family many of us have experienced the loss of death and I have learned that each experience is different each person is different no one needs to tell you how you walk through that Valley it's just important that you walk through it and don't live there forever when it's the death of a child it's the death of your future when it's the death of a parent it's the death of your past when it's the death of a spouse it's like the death of the present Naomi continued to grieve over what would be known as living lost not the loss of someone who passed away but a loss that seems to continue on losses that she could not bury the nagging guilt of the decisions that she and elimelech had made to leave Bethlehem Judah and go to a gentile country Moab and sojourn there living in a strange country everything was different the produce was different the meat was different the stores were different the people were different it was all very different she experienced the losses of the familiarity of her home living in a strange country and then while she's there a loss of her husband the loss of her sons she's grieving all of that she and elimelech believed that they were making a good decision when they left their Homeland in a time of leanness and famine but now in retrospect she Compares where she is now with where she was later she will say I left full and the Lord has brought me home again empty her perspective has changed dramatically now in the middle of all of this loss Naomi decides that she is going home she's lived in Moab long enough she's going back I cannot imagine how much courage it took for Naomi to make this decision and then make this journey she gets her daughters in law and they evidently start out with her for a while I don't really know how long she prayed about and pondered this decision to return home to Bethlehem Judah she felt the connection to Moab after all Moab was where elimelech was buried Moab was where melon and Chilean were buried and their graves no doubt called to her and she felt a sense of permanence there because of that but their graves were merely silent reminders of better days before all of that happened a time in life when they were all living and they were all happy they all had a bright future well eventually this word had filtered from Bethlehem Judah that the famine was over and this settled it for Naomi it's time to go back home she wondered about doing this and a pool of Home became stronger than the pain that she felt in Moab so she's going back she needed to tell the girls and you know as I mentioned they start going with her this interaction in the Book of Ruth this is only four chapters and out of the 1100 and something chapters in the Bible where there's an economy of words it's interesting that there are ten verses that describe this conversation between Naomi orfa and Ruth so you know she tells them I want you girls to go back to your mother's house it's interesting that she doesn't say Father's House a commentaries say that they might be implying go back to your mother's house that's where you you're to be married and so she's saying that and she says the Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with the dead and with me remember I told you that she had a good relationship with her daughters-in-law but Naomi's prayer when the Lord deal kindly with you was more than just saying you know goodbye and God bless you it's kind of formally freeing them from any future future responsibility to her in other words she's saying I'm going home you go back to your home you don't owe me anything you've been kind to me you've been kind to the dead now go back and start your life again and she's not going to be in a position to ever do anything for them so she prays that God will take care of them in her Stead she prays that God will show them Providence and you can see that she really has nothing she has no resources she's not sending them back but the gift with money only a prayer she's powerless to repay their kindness the Lord grant you she says that you might find rest each of you in the house of your husband should kiss them and they all lifted up their voices and they cried this is a a sad moment and they both say you know we're going back with you Naomi says no I don't go with me I don't have any more sons in my womb and that they may be your husbands and even if I you know was expecting tonight uh you wouldn't live long enough you shouldn't wait long enough until I would raise more boys for you or go back home get a husband I'm too old for that and then she says in verse 13 on the screens would you tarry for them until they were grown and you stay for them from having husbands name my daughters for agree with me this is what I want you to see in this verse it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me in this idea of Naomi living with loss she's saying to them that one aspect of my loss is how my poor decisions have affected you I'm sorry girls that because we moved here and you marry my boys and now they're dead and my husband's dead and I'm having to leave that I'm leaving you behind she's grieved over the pain of the decisions that cause these two innocent women to suffer maybe she feels like her testimony is tarnished in some way that these girls are left like this she tells them the hand of the Lord is gone out against me she really believes that she is suffering as some sort of a judgment of God that God is punishing me she doesn't really say because of poor decisions but she says that the hand of the Lord is gone out against me maybe like losing her husband and her sons were consequences for their poor decisions now she feels like these girls are paying the price was she in a limilec decided well over a decade ago this is how she feels they lift up their voice they weep again or if it kisses her but Ruth holds on to her and she says to Ruth look your sister-in-law orfa she's gone back come back to her people and to her Gods now this is interesting and I'm really not it's not part of my message but ORF is going back to the religion the false religion that she'd Embrace maybe all of her life and our only hope of Salvation was being introduced to this family from Bethlehem Judah so he's she says I want you to go Ruth go back after your sister and then we have these famous words you know that sometimes we use in weddings Ruth said and treat me not to leave thee or to return from following after thee for wither thou goest I will go and where thou Lodge I will Lodge thy people shall be my people and thy God shall be my God that is an amazing testimony that must have blindsided Naomi that Ruth Saul Naomi's God where you die I will die and I will be buried the Lord so do to me and more also if anything ought but death Part D and me and when Naomi saw that she was steadfastly minded to go with her she left speaking unto her like okay I've done my best to send you home but if you're going then let's go so Ruth is determined to stay with this woman Naomi who is lost seems like she's lost everything and she she knew what it felt like to lose a husband and so we're going to do this together Naomi in her weakness and maybe her bad decisions but still the brightest light that Ruth had ever seen so they start back home they say that it was about a seven to ten day Journey from The Plains of Moab to Bethlehem a little over 30 miles or so doesn't seem like a long time but on foot it is they said it was a dangerous Journey especially for two women to take alone vulnerable widows taking a trip to few women would dare to take without a man and those chaotic times of the judges remember when every man did that which was right in his own eyes lots of lawlessness in the days of judgment no street lights no paved roads no rest stops no security no highway patrolman as he prayed to the abandons and the bushes and they had to cross the Jordan River and climb 2 000 foot slope back to get home in the book living with loss and I spoke to you about healing with hope Rabbi groman says of grief grief it's hard to re-enter the mainstream when you feel that you no longer belong withdrawing into isolation though is not the answer he says slowly but steadily you must find a way to re-engage with the business of living I address this in the message living with loss but some stories of people that I know closely who gave me personal gave me permission to share those stories with you when I spoke on this may of 2022. but here is here is Naomi when I think the human tendency would be to just stay away it's too embarrassing to go back home those people know everything about you but Naomi is is courageous enough not to make the 30-mile journey the seven to ten day Journey but to make the humiliating journey to go back and face her past not not a sinful past but the past of leaving when others stayed Naomi is living with loss but the Book of Ruth does not leave her in the depths of despair God in his Mercy leads Naomi on a journey from loss to Hope now Naomi's view of herself and her life is that life is bitter she doesn't say that she is bitter but life is bitter and she identifies with the bitter experiences of her life Ruth 1 20. back to our text and she said unto them call me not Naomi call me Mara the almighty have felt very bitterly with me I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty why then call ye me Naomi seeing the Lord had testified against me and the Almighty hath Afflicted me life has changed her identity her name is Naomi and if you look it up in Bible dictionaries Naomi means pleasantness or my delight when Bible commentary Easton's Bible dictionary rather not commentary says that Naomi means lovable but multiple Bible dictionaries says pleasantness Delight so when you said Naomi it kind of just brightened you up Naomi just saying that sounds that way doesn't it pleasantness Delight but now Mara is her identity Mara means bitter there's no question you can study it all you want she said the Lord has dealt very bitterly with me and she is referencing something she's referencing a place wherein Israel came out of Egyptian bondage and crossed the Red Sea the very first place they camped was By the Waters of Mara and it means bitter water they were Waters that you could not drink Moses cast in a branch and the bitter Waters would May sweet that's how she sees her life she sees her life as a place of bitterness time and hardships have changed her perspective on the past I mentioned this earlier but she says I I went out full how do you get so desperate in a famine that you don't think you have enough food to live on it's a famine but now when you look back you say I went out full because life is more than meat being full is more than what's in your belly she looks back on her life that with all the difficulties you know that a bad day in the church is better than a good day in the world right bad day in Bethlehem Judah beats what's happened to me in the last 10 plus years I just thought there was a famine in the land and uh all of that she's living with loss the loss of her husband the loss of her sons the loss of the hope of grandchildren she thinks that's now dead the loss of orpa the loss of years that can never be brought back cannot roll the calendar back it's just gone the loss of connection to her Homeland and her friends I mean if you're gone from some place over a decade it could have been much longer but we know that they continued their elimelech died at least a decade past melon and Chilean died so I've just given you that framework the loss of fullness now she's empty the loss of pleasantness she's now bitterness but I alluded to this a while ago with all that Naomi is feeling what is marvelous and makes this story worth telling is that with all her loss Naomi came home the Lord hath brought me home again and I'm just going to say this it's not part of my message or notes but I just kind of felt to say it it doesn't matter how you come back home come back home it doesn't matter how backsliders come back home they just need to come back home no matter how humiliated they may feel they need to come back home there's a lot for them to overcome to come back home they may think you hate them don't love them are judging them they probably left out out of an offense they felt empty when they left but just come back home he comes back home she might have battled embarrassment never wanted to show her face her face at home again she feels shame her life is bitter living with loss but now God gives her healing with hope so let's talk about that I told you that the Book of Ruth is just four short chapters you might want to go home and read it it's such a cool story but it's long enough that I don't want to read it tonight right now okay so let me summarize the next chapters The Book of Ruth is a love story The Book of Ruth is about restoration and healing it's the story of God who is rich in Mercy it's the story of Divine Providence handfuls on purpose God brings hope out of grief and healing out of hurt God gives Ruth and this is the love story a very rich husband named Boaz Boaz and Ruth have a baby and this story turns from Darkness to light from bitterness back to pleasantness again Ruth 4 13 I will read the last not the last several verses but these verses so Boaz took Ruth and she was his wife and when he went in under her the lord gave her conception and she bear a son and the women said unto Naomi not Ruth the women said to Naomi blessed is be the Lord which if not left thee this day without a Kinsmen that his name may be famous in Israel and he shall be unto thee not Ruth but you Naomi older lady bitter feels like there's more in the rear view mirror than there is in the windshield of life he shall be he's not left you this day without a Kinsman and he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy life and a nourisher of thine old age for thy daughter-in-law was levith thee which is better to thee than seven sons have borne him and Naomi not wreath Naomi took the child and laid it in their bosom and became like a nurse made to her to that baby boy and the woman her neighbors the women rather the women her neighbors gave it a name don't you like that when all your friends name your kids for you and the women her neighbors gave it a name saying there is a son born too not Nate not Ruth it is race Baby by the way but there is a son born to Naomi and they called his name Obed which means servant to serve he is the father of Jesse the father of David can it make up a better story than that from a bitter life of loss came healing and Hope from a gentile moabitous woman named Ruth came the Royal line that led to Jesus Christ the Messiah Naomi's friends the women knew what this boy Obed would mean to her he's going to be a restorer of your life Naomi you spent years living with a loss that God is healing you with hope the name Mara is not going to be your name anymore Naomi it's not sticking to you anymore what seemed that as the Love Story of Ruth and Boaz unfolded that Naomi had overcome feelings that life was bitter her advice to Ruth was really good advice it did not reflect the feeling that this was going to turn out bad she was seeing glimmers of hope that God was at work through all of the negativity of her life their actions and her words reflect a dependence on God that Naomi had her life felt really bitter but she did not become her circumstances through the miracle of marriage of Boaz and Ruth her friend said God is going to restore your life Naomi well let's be realistic eliminate elimelech is not coming back to life mailon and Chilean are gone so it doesn't mean that everything that she lost is going to miraculously be restored there are some things that are truly losses in life but out of the bitterness of loss God is bringing hope for the future Naomi had to learn to not live in her past the past is dead and gone and it is not the sum total of your life it's not who you are it might be where you've been but it's not who you are and I know Naomi you still feel the grief of loss how could you ever not feel the loss of your husband and Sons but now Naomi you get to let God bring Beauty From the Ashes and you let God you get to let God bring the oil of joy from your morning and you let God come in your life and give you the Garment of Praise the spirit of heaviness life is not fair Naomi but God is good your loss is real just just don't live in the pain of loss forever let God heal you with hope for the future and ultimately for eternity he's going to be a restorer and he's going to be a nourisher of your old age these neighbors tell Naomi hey God has not abandoned you and your loss he's going to provide for you through your grandson day by day God's going to heal you with hope and don't feel that your loss is permanent or that it is a punishment from God loss may be a consequence loss may be the chastening of the Lord but God will use that loss to bring you to a place of healing and of Hope that to all of us in 2023 life is filled with losses we cannot change the past but we can choose to not be bitter or at least remain bitter not all loss is the result of death I mentioned living losses and I've read a little bit about living loss the loss of relationships the loss of the familiar the normalcy that we which I think is a myth by the way that life has some normalcy to it seems to be seasonal and changes and as soon as normal comes it's replaced by a new normal that is not normal it's just life life has changed Time Has Changed the loss of friends I mentioned I would give you these four things from the other message but there are other forms of loss there's the loss of Health a loss of functionality due to disability we have people in our church that from accidents without a Supernatural miracle will live in disabilities for the rest of their human life here on Earth there there are the loss of hopes and dreams some things that you thought would happen may not happen there might be the loss of the vision of how your life would go a friend of mine told me that somewhere in the middle of life you realize that this is my life live it to its fullest and its best and don't live with the feeling that you never quite got there that's a torture that you torture yourself with I mentioned the loss of the familiar some of you just sent your kids to kindergarten you shouted and cried at the same time some of you kids just some of you parents rather just took your young adult children to college and if you're like my wife and me you cried again some of your kids are getting married we've got a lot of weddings coming up some of your kids moved away my mom reminded us that darling David left on the same day moved away went to college you know never to permanently return those losses should not be debilitating you need to see hope through what you perceive as lost when all of us grew up and moved away you know we Darren and David still live in South Florida where my mom lived until the last year of her life and she needed to move around and was here for a while um you need to see hope through what you perceive as loss there are people in our church that I have watched them go through times when they they lost their spouse twice they lost them to to dementia to maybe losing of their capacity to think and relate and to not even recognize them and they lost them to death if you look back the feeling of loss can be overwhelming because everybody in this room has some sense of loss has lost something my wife lost her dad it was only 49 we've been married two years that was not an expected loss but in the middle of a world of loss where there's sin and despair of this Fallen World hope always sees a better future it always does and Naomi seems to have struggled Right Moving from Lost to Hope the process of healing for her for her grief didn't happen overnight and it never does and I said it earlier but don't ever let anyone impose on you their Journey and how it should be or how long it should take just keep moving the best you can some of you are facing circumstances that will never change without a miracle and I know this that focusing on loss being overwhelmed with grief does not change anything and it doesn't help anyone doesn't help you to drown in despair and it doesn't help anyone in your life for you to drown in despair living with hope is your best hope of spiritual and emotional healing to live with hope to live pointed toward the future amen you may feel like Naomi that you're living with losses that can never be recovered but refuse to be isolated in no in Moab and refuse to be buried by bitterness amen and I want to just say this because I don't know how your life will go or the rest of my life will go but when there is nothing else that seems like a bright spot in your life I want to just tell you to Hope in what we're all supposed to Hope in and that is the hope of Heaven for Paul said if in this life only we had hope in Christ we would be of all men most miserable but now we see beyond the veil of life and death and we see eternity and I'm reminded of the words of the Revelator John in Revelation 21 4 and God will wipe away all tears every tear from their eyes there shall be no more death nor sorrow nor crying there shall be no more pain for the former things have passed away then he who sat on the throne said behold I make all things new and he said unto me write these words are true and faithful would you please stand so if you're living with loss Breathe It grieve your loss learn everything you can from your loss look to the Future and not the past I don't have time to tell the story I told it in my previous message but I'll just say this shortened version my grandfather and I were talking one day lived to be a hundred years old and he lost his wife my nana she was only 80 so about 20 years he lived his last 20 years without her and he looked at me one day and he said Daryl I miss I miss her Nana every day and I could just kind of hang it up and die I know if I sat in this house I wouldn't last long when I get out in the garden and I do what I can I just kind of keep looking ahead and I think you have to look past time to Eternity if you have a few minutes you'd like to come to the altar I want to sing what we were singing a while ago pardon me for being a little emotional tonight I just feel a weight of this message in a world that is filled with despair on your worst day like Naomi you may be the brightest hope that Ruth has ever seen so let God move you from living with loss healing with hope amen as you come to the altar maybe link up with someone and let's pray together and let's lean on the Lord and let the Lord give us hope for a brighter tomorrow