How to Pray with Spiritual Seekers
by David K. Bernard
Podcast recording (no venue stated in the delivered transcript)
Kind: teaching

Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/david-k-bernard--how-to-pray-with-spiritual-seekers
Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page.
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That's a great question and let me refer you to my book spiritual leadership in the 21st century. I actually have a chapter called praying with seekers.

I think this is a very important and I would say um as a pastor I've observed and talked to sometimes ch people that received the Holy Spirit as children but they don't remember it or they felt like they were just told they had the Holy Ghost. They didn't really think that they spoke in tongues and that that should never be. And then likewise, I've encountered people from the charismatic movement who thought they had the Holy Spirit. They were told they had the Holy Spirit. When they came to our church, they actually did receive the Holy Spirit. They said, "No, I did not have the Holy Spirit before." And to that end, I actually observed a minister trying to coach someone.

Um, and he was on his way out into the charismatic movement if he wasn't already there. But he literally said uh he's here are these people praying. He says say ba ba ba ba ba say ba ba ba ba ba that's the Holy Ghost. Well of course that is completely false. So I think we have to sit back and say wait a minute first of all God gives the Holy Spirit and there are two conditions repentance and faith. So this we we shouldn't try techniques or manipulation or pulling people across the finish line or pushing them across that. We can't give people the Holy Spirit.

And it's not some technique. It's not something you teach. It's not something you trick God into doing. It's not something where you if you get people talking fast enough, they'll get tangled up with their tongue and they'll and they'll speak in tongues. That that's all it's not the mechanics really. We don't even teach tongues. The only thing about that we we teach people you've got to speak vocally. You can't speak in tongues with your mouth closed. So sometimes if people are are reluctant to speak out or if they're afraid or this is a new experience, they don't know how to respond. They'll they'll freeze. So sometimes we have to say yield or go ahead and speak it out or go ahead and praise God.

Praise God orally. you know, so we're coaching them in the sense of relaxing and opening up and speaking out, but we we not trying to teach someone how to speak in tongues. If we could do that, it really wouldn't be the genuine experience. So, I think to back up, we have to look at it. God gives the spirit. He gives it to people who have repented of their sins and have faith. So, our goal is just to assist uh of the person to genuinely have genuine repentance and then have faith. So we should not use manipulation, high pressure, force, uh anything like that. We should minimize our role.

So let me give you some practical thoughts on that. First of all, when we're going to pray with someone, we need to discern their situation. We shouldn't jump to conclusions. Uh you you know, you might see a person that you think is dressed in a worldly way, but they may be a convert. Um you might see someone maybe a man with facial hair. She might be a faithful member of the church or you might see a woman with tattoos. Well, she might have gotten tattoos before she's saved, but she might have been in the church for 5 years. So, don't jump to conclusions that we're the expert and these are the needy person.

We have to either ask them or ask a friend or discern where they are if they're coming for prayer. Why and what do they need? Second thing is avoid distracting practices. Sometimes I think people receive the Holy Ghost in spite of us, not because of us. You know, the classic statement is two people are praying with this person, one is yelling in the ear, you know, hold on, hold on, hold on. The other one is yelling the other ear, let go, let go, let go. What is the poor person supposed to do? Uh so uh you know avoid yelling, screaming, spitting, you know, slapping um inappropriate touching or what might feel to the person uncomfortable.

We're we're trying to make it easy for them. We're trying to get ourselves out of the way. And there is a value in praying with the person because we can inspire faith together, but it should be a positive experience, not something that's uncomfortable to the person. And if they're totally unused to it, maybe maybe they need to be taken into the prayer room and pray quietly with someone or something like that. But then now to get to the heart of it, the then so what we have to do is lead someone to genuine repentance. So sometimes the preacher may have clearly done this for an evangelistic message.

I really want the whole message to be an altter call. So by the time that I'm finished, they're ready to repent or they've already repented. Um, but if you're not sure, uh, it's always wise. I do it this way. And to be unoffensive, I don't assume I'm the expert, they're the sinner, but I will pray the prayer of repentance with them. And I will say, "Lord, I come before you today humbly. I repent of my sins. Please forgive me. I make no excuses. I I no justification. I've done wrong. I've failed. I've sinned. I ask you to forgive me. Please change my life. I want to be saved.

I want to live for you. I want to be filled with your spirit. I I I need your power. I want to live a holy life. And just pray that kind of prayer and observe the person. And if they're not really getting it, it's okay to even stop them and explain, you know, if you want to receive the Holy Spirit, you the first thing is to repent. And a lot of times I'll explain to the person, let's pray a prayer of repentance. And when you feel you've given everything to God, then I want you to start worshiping him because you'll feel the burden of sin lift.

you'll feel forgiveness. And and by the way, if they're new or if they're a child, they may not understand everything that the Christian life means or everything the repentance might mean for them later, but you don't have to convince them of every sin in the book, of every teaching of holiness. It's an attitude of the heart where they're surrendering. And of course, they're going to have to follow that up in days and months ahead with teaching. But your job is not to do all that first. You don't clean the fish before you catch the fish. Your goal is to get them to a change of heart, which really only God can give them at that moment.

If they're sincere in surrendering to God, then they can receive the Holy Ghost. So sometimes I would actually either talk to them before I start praying or if we're praying and I realize that we're not progressing, I might stop them and I will explain in simple terms what repentance means. instances you should repent and you know I I will pray the prayer repentance with you so you can hear me but say it in your own words as you mean it but but I would say once you have fully repented once you've given your heart to God once there are no barriers you've surrendered then you're going to feel forgiveness you're going to feel the burden lift well at that moment don't quit but start worshiping start praising God thank God for what you feel and uh then but then you have to speak out if God's gonna fill you and the Holy Spirit's going to speak through you.

You can't you clench your mouth. You have to go ahead and speak it out. So speak out praise and and uh what and sometimes I've said this as as a minister um but even if you're not a minister, you can still do this. Uh but I I would say when you have fully repented and you feel the joy of the Lord and you're ready to worship, then why don't you just raise your hands and begin to praise him? Get out of your personality and give him thanks. And when I see that, I'll know you're ready to receive. And as a minister, I'll do what the Bible says.

They laid hands on them. When if you're you're not a minister, I would not suggest doing that authoritatively unless you've been authorized by your pastor, by the leadership of the church. But you can still put your hand on their shoulder or you can bring uh an experienced leader uh to come alongside at that moment. And sometimes we would do that. When a person's ready, call over someone who's a leader, who's a minister, who's a a trained altar worker, who uh has the authority and knows what they're doing. But I would tell the person when you feel the hands laid upon you, then that's your sign that now is the time for you to receive the Holy Spirit.

You just begin worshiping and expect you'll receive the Holy Spirit. And that's the second thing, faith. So you have to create an expectancy for that moment not just generally but I am going to receive the Holy Spirit at that time and that's where it's beneficial to have the hands laid on them as a point of contact a focus of faith and also for several people to be worshiping and rejoicing because the person may be tentative but as they hear others vocally praising God and then they don't feel out of place to praise the Lord uh and there's enough noise that they people aren't necessarily going to just hear them.

They hear some other people speaking in tongues, then they might realize, not that they would imitate or learn, but it gives them the faith to release what's happening inside them. I don't recommend just speaking in tongues in people's ears instead of instruction. I recommend, you know, praying their prayer repentance in their known language and also pray worshiping in the known so that as a model so they know how to do that. Now, you may burst forth speaking in tongues as you get excited, and that's okay. It might inspire them to have faith and surrender and yield. Um, but the two key things are to remember are repentance and faith.

That's what you're trying to to inspire. Um, and then um and then you expect them to receive the Holy Spirit in a few minutes. So, you keep praying. As long as they're earnestly praying and worshiping, you keep doing that. But really, you're expecting them to receive the Holy Spirit in a short order. The idea of tarrying um you know, the the original 120 had to wait until it was time, but there's no indication that we have to tarry. If we are, it's probably people needing to work through repentance. But otherwise, after a few minutes or something, if the prayer dies down, I might stop them, give them some instruction, and then we might pray again.

But if we finish uh then I think it's very important to to end well. So if they have received the Holy Ghost spoken in tonesues, you don't tell them you just spoke in tonesues. You want them to know for themselves. And that's part of your question. I think it's dangerous to just jump to conclusion. But what would happen if I feel like I heard them speak in tongues or somebody told me after they stop praying, I will say, "What happened to you?" They may or may not know. And if you just ask them, did you receive the Holy Ghost? Well, they may not really know what that is or what that experience is or they may say yes because that's the expectation.

So, I don't think that's the right question, but I would I usually ask, well, did you did you speak in tongues? Did you hear yourself speak a language you haven't learned? If they say yes, then you say, well, that is the Holy Ghost. That is the sign that God's spirit has filled you. And it's more than just a momentary excitement. This is a new way of life. So, you need to keep coming to church. You need to be back the next service. You need to pray every day. And the devil's going to attack you this week and try to convince you it didn't happen. But remember this conversation.

You heard yourself speak in tongues. You know it's real. And so when other people try to tell you you were just psychologically manipulated, the devil tries to tell you, imagine it. You know, no that happened. So I always want them to tell me. I never tell them you spoke in tongues. At most I might say, "Well, now I thought I heard you speaking something or someone told me, but did you did you hear yourself speaking a different language?" Well, that's speaking tongues. So, you might have to tell them what tonesues means or what receiving the Holy Ghost means, but they have to know the experience.

And if they say something like, "Well, I I did say a few words," then you can say, "Well, that's speaking in tongues." But as you pray more, this will become more fluent. Or if they say, "I'm not sure. I think so. Maybe." You say, "Look, you need to have confirmation. Why don't we pray again and let's ask God to give you a clear confirmation." Or if the time of that has passed, you might say, "Well, that's a good start, but you need assurance." So, if you'll just keep coming, keep praying, God is going to give you a definite assurance. You won't have to wonder. You will know for yourself.

So you always want them to affirm it. Now if they if they say no I don't think so. I said well I always try to end positive. You prayed well today. You've learned how to open to God. Now God is ready to fill you at any time but sometimes we have to learn how to surrender to God how to you know submit our will and how to open up how to worship. So this you made a good step. You've made lots of progress. So keep coming keep praying and it's going to happen. In fact, it could happen tonight when you go home and kneel by your bed.

Uh just whenever you're able to uh get rid of your fear or your inhibitions to trust and worship and surrender, it's going to happen. So, it's going to happen very soon. In rare cases, there have been people that I personally heard or others personally heard and maybe repeatedly, but for some reason, they will they in their mind just don't feel like they're worthy. And so, they'll just say, "No, I I didn't speak in tongues." and we know they did. And so it's those rare cases I try to tell them, look, you've had several people that have said they heard you. However, you need to know for yourself, but then I try to talk, you know, God loves you.

He he will fill the everyone this none of us are worthy, but Jesus died to make us worthy. And those kind of cases sometimes they come from abusive backgrounds. You just have to kind of work with them with their underlying issues. But you you and you might go so so far as to say when it's clear and definite, but yet they're struggling to comprehend or believe. You might be so definite as to say, "Well, I heard you or so and so heard you." But I want you to keep coming, keep praying. God's going to give you the confirmation. I never try to give that to people.

I want them to tell me because that will stand the test. And I've had a few cases like these hard cases where later they will come back and say, "Well, brother Bernard, I I don't really think so." I said, "Wait a minute. Stop you right here. We had this conversation and you told me and we're going to go by what you told me. We're not going to go by all this other stuff." And of course, God's going to renew and confirm. So, I believe this is a very important uh discussion. Uh but I think we really have to focus on God is the one who fills with the spirit.

The two essential biblical requirements are we have to repent of our sins and we have to have personal faith in Jesus Christ. Not just generically but that he will fill us with his spirit at this time and when that happens that's when they receive the Holy Ghost. Uh the important thing is not the tongues the important thing is the spirit but the spirit causes the person to speak in tonesues. So if we get the big things in perspective and emphasize the big things and of course the whole background of faith is faith in Jesus Christ that he died for our sins he rose again he's truly the son of god god manifest in the flesh so all that's presupposed which in the course of the preaching that led them to prayer hopefully they did get that but they are going to have to have faith in Jesus Christ that's the main thing and if we get the main things in place then you'll have people receiving the holy spirit I remember teaching on this to a church planter seminar and the the next week or two, one of the church planters told me or whenever I saw them, he said, "You know, I went back, we were struggling to have a breakthrough, but I just used those simple instructions that you gave and I talked to the people and we had two people received the Holy Spirit." And when it is done right, usually it's going to be 5, 10, 15 minutes.

If it goes beyond that, you probably need to stop and instruct or or try another method or tell them to come back. Now, if they want to keep pressing on, in my case, as a little boy years ago, um the I was 7 years old. I there was an evangelist, uh I think I slept through most of the message, but I woke up before the end. I felt convicted. It was only the second time I went forward to pray, but I really felt it and I prayed for over an hour. Thankfully uh some of the saints stuck with me but I and they asked me are you tired?

You want to quit? And I and they stopped me gave me a drink of water but I said no I want to pray. There was something in my heart and I guess I had to get to the point even as a child of true surrender and also faith and finally I received the Holy Ghost. And thankfully, someone was watching the clock and told my parents, but it was 10:25 p.m. So, I'd probably prayed at least an hour or more. Uh, and it was December the 10th, 1963. So, what that that means, I've had the Holy Ghost now 62 years. But I had to have an experience that I knew for myself.