Should Christians Date Non-Christians?
by David K. Bernard
Podcast recording (no venue stated in the delivered transcript)
Kind: teaching
Scripture: 2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7, 1 Peter 3, Genesis 2:24

Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/david-k-bernard--should-christians-date-non-christians
Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page.
Free to copy and share with attribution.

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certainly you pointed to a key verse I do believe it covers marriage perhaps it's not limited to marriage but being yolked together the image is of two oxen who are joined the same yoke so they work together they work in Tandem and their strength is not merely doubled but it's multiplied uh as they both pull load or they both um uh pull a plow or something like that and so uh while you might be able to think of other relationships certainly marriage would be the strongest example of of two human beings being yolked together so definitely I think this passage applies to marriage that a Christian should not deliberately marry an unbeliever now if they're already married the Bible does give instruction there if someone's two unbelievers are married one comes into the church uh 1 Corinthians chapter 7 says if the unbeliever is willing to maintain the marriage don't uh divorce but maintain that marriage because you have the chance to influence your children and your unsaved spouse 1 Peter 3 also talks about that um that you have a chance to influence your unsaved spouse so so God honors marriage so much um it that he says maintain it even if there is an unbeliever in the marriage so uh coming into church does not cancel your contracts and it doesn't cancel a lawful marriage however when you have a choice up front if you think of the purpose for marriage go back to the Genesis account Genesis 2:24 before there was sin when God instituted marriage he said a man will leave his father mother be joined to his wife the King James has cleave to his wife and they'll become one flesh when you study that one flesh it speaks of physical but also emotional and spiritual union so that indicates that that marriage is supposed to be a complimentary relationship of two equal Partners who work together uh and we're to respect One Another We're to work together to help one another together fulfill God's plan so if one person is a Believer and another is an unbeliever then you're not going to be able to fulfill God's original plan uh it it it will be flawed and in fact in the Old Testament God had strict prohibitions against marrying uh the the the Israelites marrying people of other uh Nations it wasn't based on race it was based on they were idolators and they were not worshiping the one true God if they did convert to the worship of the one true God they were incorporated into Israel you could marry them such as Ruth the the moabit and Rahab the Canaanite so contrary to some people's teaching it wasn't based on race or ethnicity it was based on uh their adherence to the worship of the one true God so that's actually a principle throughout the Bible now when we talk about dating if we're using that to mean a you know serious interaction for the purpose of finding a spouse then obviously if it's um a violation of scripture to marry an unbeliever it would be wrong to seriously pursue those kind of relationships and even if the dating has seemed to be somewhat casual it's in the context of exploring the possibility of a romantic relationship you don't always control your feelings and so if you um make choices to put yourself in a position where you're deliberately exploring the possibility of romantic feelings uh then you can't necessarily control exactly how that's going to happen happen uh so you're jeopardizing yourself to where you will there there's a high likelihood that you will capitulate and proceed to marry contrary to God's plan so to prevent that we have choices to make so just like uh let's say you don't want to get drunk so should you go to the bar and just order a you know a Coke and then uh you know keep participating in all the activities or or maybe just take one sip of alcoholic beverage obviously you make a choice before you get there so if you really are serious about keeping that commitment you just don't go to those places and you don't get involved in those activities and then you will not violate God's command so I look at um marrying an unbeliever will be wrong so dating an unbeliever is jeopardizing uh God's plan and it would likewise be contrary to God's purpose God would not want you to date an unbeliever if dating has the possibility of the likelihood of resulting in a serious relationship now when it comes to denominations and so on obviously we don't believe someone has to belong to the United Pentecostal Church to be saved or have a valid Ministry and therefore we would not prohibit people dating from outside our church specifically however we want to look at the purpose of marriage so we want compatibility in the important things of Life your goals your values your beliefs and so if there's a fundamental incompatibility where you disagree on who God is the nature of God are you disagree on salvation what it means to be saved are you disagree on some basic choices of Christian Life the pursuit of Holiness which will in turn affect the choices you make for your home it will affect the choices you make for your children it will affect your choice of where you're going to go to church so if we're dealing with fundamental beliefs like who Jesus is and and he's is he the savior of the world is his atonement necessary the new birth experience the pursuit of Holiness if while there're may be you know two people may have some differences of Theology of course but when it comes to your fundamental doctrines that are going to affect uh how you raise your children and where you go to church then I would say you should choose someone who shares your beliefs who shares your values and who shares your goals and it would be better to be seen sing Le in the will of God than to be married outside the will of God now for people who've made wrong choices or have gotten themselves into situations God does value marriage if there's any way to preserve that marriage you should we do not believe you should break up a marriage because of incompatible beliefs uh we believe you should strive uh even if you have to not compromise your salvation but make compromises in your personal life to to to salvage or preserve or strengthen that marriage because as I alluded to earlier God can use those circumstances uh to Le lead your unsaved spouse or to lead your children into a Godly relationship so if you have a choice upfront if you're a single adult you should marry only in the church and in fact 1 Corinthians 7 towards the end when it talks about uh a spouse passing away uh it says yes you can remarry but only in the Lord so that's the general principle if you're single you should marry only in the Lord