Understanding Forgiveness by Kevin Allen January 24, 2021 · Centerpointe Apostolic Church (Murfreesboro, TN) Kind: sermon Scripture: Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 6:14-15, Romans 8:28, Proverbs 17:14, Proverbs 19:11, Nahum 1:3, Matthew 18, Matthew 5:38-40, Romans 9:14, Luke 7:41-42, Matthew 18, Hebrews 12:15 Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/kevin-allen--understanding-forgiveness Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page. Free to copy and share with attribution. ------------------------------------------------------------ Sir, Matthew chapter 6, verse 14 and 15: for if you forgive not men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. For if you forgive them in their trespasses, your heavenly Father also forgive you. But if you forgive not men — verse 15 — their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Passages didn't get preached a lot, but I'm hoping to show you that there's a direct connection between you being forgiven and your ability to forgive. You being forgiven — I love being forgiven, man. I'm so thankful for God's forgiveness. I'm so thankful for his, his mercy and grace that's new every day. But there's also the knowledge that I have a responsibility, that you have a responsibility, to also forgive, and that those things are tied together. These are the words of Jesus. I'm gonna read them again to you. All right, Matthew 6 14: for if you forgive me in their trespasses — if you forgive, then your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Verse 15: but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. So talking about the subject of forgiveness, the subject that I feel like is overlooked and under talked in Christianity today. But I know this truth: this is the subject that will bless your home. It will bless your marriage. It will bless every relationship you have. It will bless this church beyond belief. Far too often, those who are in what we would call the Christian circle at best pay lip service to this thing that is called forgiveness. Now, we acknowledge that as Christians we are supposed to give just like Jesus Christ forgives. But there are far too many Scriptures to talk about the connection that is there, and I will bring a few of these out, for you and I to not do what we are supposed to do when it comes to forgiveness. God has forgiven our sins, and we need to also forgive as well. But we struggle at times in convincing ourselves we're supposed to do this. Have you ever noticed that we Christians have the ability to always talk about good things, the positive things, the great things that are in life, but the ability to kind of just skip over the bad stuff and not really dwell on it, especially if it's bad stuff in our life? Now, if it's a brother or sister, we don't mind bringing that up as a prayer request, do we? Oh God, bless them, they've been doing this. We need to pray, with a smirk on our face. When you and I become followers of Jesus Christ, it did not mean that everything in our life automatically was going to turn out the way we wanted it to. What it means is that everything in your life is going to go the way God wants it to go. I'm going to say that again. Following after Jesus Christ, being obedient to his Scriptures in his word, allowing his Spirit to fill you and I, being baptized in his name, does not bring it a guarantee of an easy road in life, but it does bring it a guarantee that his will is going to be done if I will follow. Now, what we know, those that have been following him for a little bit of time, is that quite often the things I don't want to go through are the very things that make me the better person. But we don't like signing up for that. You and I, we're going to be his servant, and he is going to desire to lead our lives. And one of the great things about being a follower of Jesus Christ is we know this truth, and Paul said it, talking to the church at Rome in Romans chapter 8 verse 28: all things work together for good. Now we love that. That's a candy-stick verse for us, in it. Then it — amazing how we can whip that one out, especially when things are going good in our life. All things work together for good. Some of you were doing that as you were buying your lotto ticket for the Powerball for 750 million dollars. You stood there in that line and breathed that Scripture: all things work together for good. Lord, you know I'll pay my tithes. Lord, you know I'll support a missionary. God's going: well, you're not paying your tithes now. That's not a — that's not a tithing message. I'll get back on my notes. God takes those things, both the good and the bad, and he uses them to guide our life where he wants it to go. Now we talk about all the good things that come with forgiveness, and we forget sometimes how hard it can be to actually forgive. Now I don't know everybody's life story in this room today. I know a few of you. I know some of you very well. I know what you've been through. That's why it touches my heart when I see you during a worship service with your hands raised up, worshiping God, because I know under human conditions and circumstances and understanding, you have every right to sit. But you don't. You still stand, and you still worship, and you still declare that his favor is upon me, even though if you told your story, there would be those in this room who would beg to differ with you. But you worship. I don't know how long everyone has went through whatever it is you're going through. I don't know how long you've been married. I don't know how long that you've lived whatever condition that you're dealing with. I don't know how long your children have been gone or out of your life. I don't know all the circumstances here. I don't know how much harm has been done to you. How many people have hurt you? How many people have abused you? How many people have abandoned you? I don't know. I know those stories exist. They are here in this room. I know that to be a truth. I got to thinking, in the best of my knowledge, I cannot recall ever having heard a single message ever taught or preached that was against forgiveness, because that would be a very silly sermon. I've never heard of someone giving counsel to the saints, or telling them what has happened was so bad and so terrible that they would be a fool to forgive the person who did that to them. I've never heard that. I never heard anybody who said: just hang on to your hurt in bitterness for the rest of your life, because that would be terrible advice. However, knowing that no pastor would ever advise you to do this, and knowing that no one would ever teach or preach this, we decide all on our own that we're going to do this. We decide all by ourselves that my heart and my pain is different from anybody else's hurt or anybody else's pain that has ever experienced. Nobody has ever walked in my shoes. So the things that have been done for me, the way I was treated, the way I was talked about, the way I was abused, the way I was abandoned, gives me the right to hang on to it. I've seen people hang on to an offense, a hurt, a bad situation, until it adversely affected them and they turned into something other than what they were created to be. Now the reason we sometimes hang on to these things is because we can be a very convincing preacher in our own mind. Have you noticed this? Very convincing as to what is and what is not true. We're able to build up the case in our mind for why it is that we should not have anything to do with the person who hurt us. Do Christians do this? Oh yes. Yes we do. We also know, when you attend a church like this one, that if we were allowed all of the individuals to stand up, they could tell stories that would cause us to cry and weep. You could give us the reason and the explanation for why you are the way you are, and there would be so many of us who would want to identify and agree and maybe even say: you have every right to feel the way you feel. But somewhere in the middle of all this, we have to reconcile what thus saith the word. Because I've learned a long time ago that I can't base things off of how I feel, because my feelings have misled me too many times. I can't base it off of whether or not I just want to, because there's a lot of things that I don't want to do that I really should do. The truth is, when it comes to forgiveness, we have our reason why it is that we'll never let go of it, and why it is will always be a little bit different around the ones who hurt us. The real truth is, we don't tell anybody what's going on, because it's going to sound a little silly or a little awkward, or we refuse to let it go, so we do not tell a soul. We just leave it bottled up inside ourselves. Because even when we speak it out loud in a room all by ourself, it sounds so small and insignificant, but yet it feels so big inside. Has anybody besides me ever found yourself being really worked up over something that didn't amount to anything? Anybody in here ever got worked up over what someone has said to you, or how they looked at you, or how they smiled at you? Well, I'm all alone. One truly is the loneliest number. I'm the only person in here who's ever been offended by something small. No, no, I know I'm not. It's not a subject we like to talk about, is it? It's not something that we like to get out in the open, about how petty we can really be. We don't like to talk about the fact that, that, that we've dealt with this before. I'm not talking about: well, I remember one time when I was a teenager. So no, no, I'm not. I'm talking about right now, you're 45 year old self, you're 65 year old self. We deal with things, and we allowed them to cause us to miss out on a right relationship with God, because some human person who was born into sin, just like you were born into sin, happened to do or say something to you that really doesn't matter too much anyway. But yet you've held on to it, and you've allowed that thing to grow deep roots inside of you, to fester, until bitterness has showed up at your door, and now you're having a hard time with the eviction notice. As human beings, we cop out all the time. We parents see this in our kids: I can't do that. What do you mean you can't do that? You can't put your shoes on? You can't pick up that and put it back in the dresser? You can't put the dishes from the table to the sink? What do you mean you can't do that? No, we deal with that, right? We see that in our kids sometimes. But what about us adults? Especially when it comes to the fact that the Scripture says that we're supposed to forgive, and we say: but I can't. See, in most cases, it's not that you can't do it. It's that you feel like you shouldn't have to. Hmm, that's good preaching. Oh, amen myself. Amen. It's quiet in here. I knew it'd be quiet, because this is the kind of message that gets down deep inside and stirs. It's not that you can't forgive. It's that you don't feel like you should have to forgive, because of what was done to you. You feel like then you're just going to end up letting them off the hook. Why should they go scot-free, after all? I'm the victim. I was the one who was mistreated. I was the one that was abused. And yet I have to be the one who goes and says: I forgive you for what you did to me. But that's what the word says. You say to yourself: if they created the hurt and the problem, they should be the one who comes to me, not the other way around. So I was wondering today, for those who take issue with forgiveness, then maybe, just maybe, we could take what the Bible says, we should weigh it out for just a few minutes. Maybe we should put forgiveness on trial, just to see: can it stand up under scrutiny? Is there any evidence? Is it actually legitimate? Is there a time when not letting someone off the hook is the right option? Are we justified in feeling the way that we do? I want to give you a few reasons why you should not forgive someone, and see if it stands up to what Scripture says. Number one: if you forgive someone, it denies the seriousness of their offense. If you forgive someone, it denies the seriousness of their offense. They did something wrong to you. They owe you. You didn't do it. You didn't ask for it. You were doing your part. You were acting the way you were supposed to be. You were being obedient. You were being a good little boy and girl. You had your little Bible there, and you were just praying all the time. And out of nowhere, someone come — someone come along and they just — wham — out of nowhere, they took advantage. They cheated. They abused. They misused. Whatever the case may be, we could go around the room and get a big long list of the problems that have happened in this place. But somewhere it all comes back to this truth: something happened to you. You are now owed, because you were wronged. Now I believe that we can all agree on one thing here today: there are some event — offenses — that are just so small and petty, we should just overlook them, right? Sometimes people forget to call you back. Maybe you've never done that. I am very guilty of that. I don't mean to. I happen to have a lot of phone calls and text messages that come in on a daily basis. Sometimes I have the best intentions. Sometimes I've even filled the text message out and thought that I pushed the button to go, only to go on to the phone call that was there, and realize a few days later, when I look back, I never sent the message. It was typed out. It was a beautiful response, to which I had to delete and then go into apologizing, stating that I forgot to send it. Sometimes people will interrupt you when you're talking. Sometimes people forget your birthday. Sometimes you could save yourself a little grief and just get past it. After all, hanging on to it, does it really do you any good? Have you really, really been happy with the time you spent pouting? Has anybody ever walked away and said: I'm so happy that I pouted for three days. It was just the best three days. I just sulked in the corner. I was just there with this look on my face. I was just daring somebody to say something. It was a wonderful time. Even the Bible agrees with this principle. Proverbs 17 and 14, reading from the New Living, says: starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before dispute breaks out. That would be a good one for some of you to write down and put right there on the dash in the car. Starting a quarrel, it's like opening a floodgate. What they're saying here is that you should keep a list of offenses really, really short, because if you're looking for the offense, you'll find an offense all the time. Proverbs 19 11: good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook what. That was pretty weak. It was his glory to overlook what. Did you know that's a glory? Some of you could be in the glory business today, just overlooking stuff. Just let it go. A wise man will pass over a transgression. Some things are just not worth making a major case out of. Anybody here ever had a paper cut, right? Little bitty thing, isn't it? But man oh man, every, every year this time, when, when the, the air gets colder and we have gas heat here in this building, we have gas heater house, my skin gets a little dry. Nothing makes me feel less manly than putting lotion on. I mean, I feel like I check my man card every time I squirt that in my hand. I just don't like it. I don't like the greasy feel. I don't like that whole process. But you got to have it, right? I got — right now, you can't see it, there's a little bitty split right there. Itty-bitty, man, it hurts like the devil. Those little bitty offenses, not much, but you let them sit there. You constantly keep them opened up. It's just like that little paper cut. There's nothing much there, but it sure does hurt you and sting you, when it would be so easy for you just to let it go. Now I know, I know what you're thinking. I know you're saying that every offense is to be treated the same, that would — that we're going to treat, you know, child abusers and, and sexual molesters — are we just supposed to forgive other stuff and, and go on and put that in the same category as someone who just had a smart mouth to us? Is that what you're saying, Pastor Kevin? Now we have to keep this in mind. Okay, listen to him. Don't get lost in me slowing down. Keep this in mind: forgiveness does not trivialize your pain, and God does not trivialize their sin. I'll say that again: forgiveness does not trivialize your pain, and God does not trivialize their sin. Some folks think that when God forgives your sins, that he just overlooks it. Is that what you think? Then when you, when you say, God, please forgive me, he's like: all right, I'll forgive you. Because we do that sometimes. There are some people who, they will do things to you and I, and we don't think much about, we'll easily let it go. And then there are other people who do the exact same thing, and we're like: how dare they do that? Because we have a qualification to the offenses, based off of the relationship and what we're gaining out of it. Aren't you glad that God doesn't do it that way? When God forgives your sin, it cost him something to forgive your sin. It costs you and I something when we forgive those who have wronged us. Nahum chapter 1 verse 3: and the Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not all, not at all, equip the wicked. God doesn't just let things slide. It's not because, well, he's God, he has the ability to do that, as if somehow it's easier for him to let offenses go. No, it cost him. And ladies and gentlemen, it's going to cost you to forgive. It costs God Calvary to forgive our sins. You wanted to cost? Look at that cross. That's what it cost him. So he's not got it off any easier. Instead, he does what he always does: he shows you it can be done. So if God can't overlook the seriousness of sin, how can he expect us to overlook what people do to us? Sin creates an obligation, just like hurt creates an obligation. Somebody has to pay for it. So who's going to pay for it? Forgiveness is — is — if it was just a simple glossing over serious things, then we shouldn't have to forgive, if that's what it really is. But is that what forgiveness really is? Second thing, the second reason for forgiveness is difficult for us: forgiveness lets people off the hook too easy. Second thing: forgiveness lets people off the hook too easy. One of the things we worry about with forgiveness is: if I forgive them, there's a real good chance they're going to do it again. If I forgive them, they're not going to learn their lesson, and they're going to come right back around, and they're going to repeat the offense over again to me. That's why — and so if I don't want to do that, because I don't want to be heard again, so I'm not going to forgive. This is what ends up destroying marriages and families. If I let them off the hook this time, they'll turn around, do it again the next time. And the fear is they will hurt me worse the next time. This is what prompted Peter to ask Jesus the question about forgiveness in Matthew chapter 18. Peter said to him and said: Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him, till seven times? You've heard me teach on this before. Peter shows up — Peter always popping his mouth off. Peter understood that the going rate for forgiveness was between three and five times, depending on which rabbi you wanted to follow. So Peter shows up and he says: look, I'm gonna up the bar. I'm gonna show up as a star student. Jesus, my brother offends me, how oft should I forgive him, till seven times? He was expecting a star for the day. He's expecting Jesus to go: well, my goodness, Peter, I mean, the most we've ever heard of around here was five. And look at you, you're going up by two. But what happened was not what Peter was expecting, because Jesus gets around to the real business of forgiveness. He gets down and says: look, it's not about the number. It wasn't about 490 times. If you want to do the math for what Jesus' response was, it was such an outlandish number that Jesus was saying: if you're keeping up with a number, then you'll keep record. Don't act like you won't. We're on 489. You got one more, and then it's on. We just hit 490. I don't have to forgive anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, it was never about the number. What he was telling Peter was: you forgive as many times as it takes to forgive, because there's going to come a moment when you understand that you don't want to limit on the forgiveness that's going to you. Do you want a number? Is that what you want? Would you like to be going: oh man, I only got three left. I'm gonna have to go live on an island by myself, and I'll probably still run out. No, it's not about the number. It's about you do whatever it is you need to do to be able to forgive, because your forgiveness is directly tied to you being forgiven. So the moment you put a number to it, you have numbered your own forgiveness, because whatever number you choose to stop is when your forgiveness stops also. So I'm not about numbers, which means I have to live a life of forgiveness. Third reason: forgiveness lets them off the hook too easy, and puts too much responsibility on me. Forgiveness lets them off the hook too easy and puts too much responsibility on me. I mean, come on, I'm the victim, right? Right, we're the victim. It happened to us. I was the one that was wronged. And you're telling me I have the responsibility now? I mean, is it not bad enough that I've been hurt? Come on, God, is it not bad enough that I'm the one who suffered? Is not bad enough that I'm the one who's been crying and I've been shedding the tears, and then all of a sudden I read in your word that it's my responsibility, that I have to go back and say: hey, I know you hit me in the mouth, but I forgive you? It puts a lot of pressure on the victim, the offended, instead of the offender. It's not unreasonable to place the burden on the victim. It almost seems like asking for the impossible. Now I've read the Bible through many times. It's been hours in deep study. And I found nowhere in the Bible where it exempts me for something just because it's hard. People have such funny thoughts and ideas on grace, and how you can just do whatever you want because you're under grace and God's just gonna take care of it. And you've heard me say this many times across this pulpit: the grace is the most abused word in the English language. It is the most elastic word, man. It has been — it has been stretched and misformed and misshapen, and the definition that is out there by no means lines up with what Scripture says. You've heard me say this before: if you want to see what grace is, then you look at Calvary, because that's the bar. That's what grace is. Grace says: look, until you're willing to do that, you don't understand grace. Grace is the enabling power of God to lift you above your sinfulness and above yourself, and puts you on a higher level of living, and gives you the power to have an overcoming life. That's grace. Grace is not a crutch or a band-aid for bad behavior. Matthew 5 38: you've heard that have been said, an eye for an eye and a tooth for tooth. Jesus is going in — greatest sermon ever preached. I don't care who your favorite preacher is. Greatest sermon ever preached, Matthew 5, 6 and 7. Jesus preaching here, he's teaching them. He's going so counter culture. He's going all the way back to the, to the Old Testament, to the, to the law that was there. He says: you've heard it, an eye for an eye, than a tooth for a tooth. But I say unto you, that you resist not evil. But whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn them also the other. What, what, what? Who wants to do that? Hey, I know you just slapped me, but you know what, can you hit me on this side too? Nobody's signing up for this. And I promise you, I promise you, as he's teaching this that day, they're standing there and their mouths are — because they were all about an eye for an eye. There's a bunch of blind people, a lot of toothless ones running around. Verse 40: if any man sue thee at the law and take away the coat, let him also the cloak also. It's reasonable for Jesus to ask those who have been wronged, for those who did the hurt, to not only get away with the pain, but to get even more. Why would he ask us to do that? Why would he say give more? What is it? What's the correlation? What's the connection? What is it? Again, remember, we're putting forgiveness on trial here. Does this make sense? It doesn't seem fair for the victim to suffer for years, and struggle to overcome that, that has been done to them, not of their own fault, but then having to move forward and them to be the one to initiate the forgiveness. That heavy burden is placed on their shoulders. See, as we begin to think about these things, the real reason we don't want to forgive, it comes to the surface. You know what the real reason is? You don't know, because it's unfair. You heard me say that just a few weeks ago: I'm outlawing that word in my house. Unfair. This isn't fair. And that's what you and I deal with when we have those moments where we are struggling to forgiveness. We're basing it all on whether or not we feel like it's fair. Why, God, should I have to do that? This was done to me. I didn't ask for it. There are some cases there was not even in my mind. But yet I have been the one who was hurt. I was the one who was abused. I was the one who was taken advantage of. I was the one who was abandoned. I was the one who was left. And now I'm the one that has to go. I have to bury that bird, or carry that burden. I have to, to, to go to the person who I don't even want to see, who I don't even want to talk to, who I wish was dead. I wished they were not even existing anymore. And I have to go do that. That doesn't seem fair. So is that what we're basing this off of, on what is and what is not fair? So how do we draw that line? How do we do that? How do we do that, reasonable thinking people? How do you and I decide what is and what is not fair? Do you see the fallacy here? Because here's what you and I know as a truth in our world right now: we can't decide on anything. Once we start moving the fence post on absolutes, where do we put it back down at? Because everything becomes subject to the individual, and fairness becomes subject to the individual. Because the person who hurt you, if they're even aware that they hurt you, maybe they thought you deserved what happened to you. So in their mind it was fair. But in your mind it's not. So then where are we? Where are we at now? Because now we're basing everything off of feelings. And feelings are not going to get us to the conclusion we want. That's why you have to come back to something that is forever settled, something that doesn't change, something that doesn't move, something that I don't have to defend, something that stands all by itself, something that was way before you and I came into the picture, something that started at the beginning of time, something that will be there when time no longer exists, something that you can establish your life on. You have to go back to what thus saith the word. And the word says you forgive, because if you refuse to forgive, it will eat you from the inside out. Now all this sounds really good, and I could close this message up and we could go home: God says you need to do it, then you need to do it. But Christians have perfected the art of being around something that is drawing them up to another level, but if that level goes against something they feel to be wrong, then we can just live with the decision that that doesn't apply to me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where it gets really dangerous, is when you start using words like: I know what the Bible says, but. I know what the word of God says, but. You have ran off the rails. The statement should be: I know what the word of God says. That, that's complete all by itself. It doesn't need a conjunction after it. The only thing that should follow is your obedience. Ladies and gentlemen, you and I will be held by this. It doesn't matter the good deeds that you do. It doesn't matter the amount of money that you give. It doesn't matter how many little old ladies you helped across the street, or how many pies you baked, or how much peanut brittle you popped out of a 10. None of that. What matters is: did you align yourself with this? It's not about your opinion. It's not about how you felt. It's not about whether you wanted to. It's thus sayeth the word, and I lived by it to the best of my ability. When it was all said and done, when the role was called up yonder, I will stand accountable to what this word says. And this word says: I have no other obligation outside of complete forgiveness. All of the objections I spent time going over today rise up from a basic misunderstanding of what forgiveness is. We have this basic misunderstanding that everything we do is tied into the feeling. But as I get ready to close, before I finish defining what forgiveness is biblically, let me tell you what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness, for those of you taking notes — forgiveness is not denying your pain. Hear me. Listen, there's — I know, I know some stories in this room, and I can't even look up, because if I make eye contact with you, it tears me up inside, because I know what has happened to you and what you have been through. Forgiveness is not denying your pain. Forgiveness is not — the second thing here, what it's not — it is not letting your offender off the hook. Forgiveness is not letting your offender off the hook. Forgiveness is not blaming you, the victim. It's not blaming you, the victim. And the last thing that forgiveness is not: it is not unfair. Forgiveness is not unfair. Romans 9 14: what shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid. Paul wanted you to know that there cannot be unfairness with God. So what is forgiveness, if it's not these things? What is it? To get an understanding of it, you have to look at what Jesus taught, because he almost always taught forgiveness in the same way. The Greek word for forgive has in it the idea of releasing something, letting go of something. Forgiveness — it, you have to let go of what has been done to you. It's, it, it's a very physical act of letting, like dropping it. Jesus talked about — almost always when he spoke about forgiveness as a debt, something that was owed, he just used the example oftentimes as money. Luke chapter 7 verse 41: there was a certain creditor which had two debtors. One owed 500 pence, the other 50. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them did he loved the most? Notice with me what Jesus was teaching here. He was saying that the money to the lender was real. It was old. It was, it was a real deal. And yet the one who was old did what? He released what was owed him. It was not a fragment of his imagination. It was something that was real, something that was due him, yet those who had it could not pay it back. So he let them go. Real debt. Legal right to demand payment. He was the innocent party. But there was a deficit between what they owed and their ability to pay. They owed a huge amount. They had limited resources. So it didn't matter how many years. It didn't matter what was done. If you put them into prison, how many years they were tortured, they had no way of paying it back. Ladies and gentlemen, there are some things that have been done to you, and if the person who did it to you wanted to pay it back, they would have no way of doing it. How do you pay back time? How do you pay back pain? How do you do it? How did — how does the father make up for not being there for the first 18 years of his son's life? How does that happen? How does, how does someone go back and say: I'm sorry that I cussed you and I beat you every day of your life, and I want to forgive. So how can I make it up to you? It's something that can't be done. It can't. At some point — and I know I could go on and on, but for the sake of time I'm going to try to wrap this up, because I feel like God wants to do a work in this altar today — at some point you, the victim, you're the one who's been offended, you, the hurt party, has to say: I know if they really wanted to, they couldn't give me back what has been taken from me. So I choose to release the debt. I choose to let it go. Because there are some things — quite often the very things that cause the deep-seated bitterness and pain, the things that keep you from moving forward from where it is you really need to be, where it is God desires for you to be — that pain, that hurt, that wrong could never be paid back. And the only way you'll move forward is by learning how to forgive. When you pay a debt, you acknowledge that the wrong has been done. But biblical forgiveness: you release the debtor, and you cover the loss yourself. And that's why so many struggle. Listen to me. Musicians are going to come. I'm getting ready to wrap up, because I really feel in my spirit God's wanting to do some work, some healing work here today. Because this, this gets down to the core where so many people struggle in their relationship with God. They get to a certain point. They go to a certain place. Every time they get to right here, and it stops, because that pain comes back, that debt comes back, that oh, that, that — it's right there, and you can't move forward. Because this requires action on your part. It's something that you have to do. Listen, I know there, there are offenses, and there are hurts, and there are pains. There's even been things that have been done where the ministry — under, under the ministry title, things have been done, and hurts have been, been, been occurred. And there's no way those things can be paid back. And I've seen people walk away from faith because they refuse to allow forgiveness to flow through them. I'm not trying to say whoever did what they did to you was right and they were justified. Please understand my heart. There has been some real hurt and real pain and real damage that has been done. But you're never going to move forward in your life until you cry out and say: God, I understand what your word says, and you require forgiveness. My forgiveness is tied to me forgiving them. So there may come an instance where you have to cry out and say: God, teach me to forgive. Give me the capacity to forgive, because all I can see is the hurt. I remember the pain. And God will come alongside you, and he'll help you work through, so that you can get to the place where you can release debt that has owed you. You have to choose to release the offender. Forgiveness says: you choose to release them. That you choose to cover the loss. But it's a stumbling block for so many people, because it just doesn't seem fair. I go back to the conversation between Jesus and Peter. He said: 70 times seven, Peter, you do it. You do it, and you do it until you can't. You just keep forgiving as long as it takes. Jesus is teaching us — he is saying that unforgiveness delivers you — if you don't, if you hang on, if you keep it, it puts you in a private torture chamber that you might go into and never come out. How do you know this, Pastor Kevin? Matthew 18, the parable of Matthew 18: therefore the kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king who would take into account his servants. And the story goes on. He began to reckon what was old, and there was a servant who owed him much. He owed him a million dollars. He brings him in. He says: you got to pay the million dollars that's owed me. Servant says: I can't. He falls down his face, says: please forgive me, give me time, I'll pay it back. There's no way for that man to pay it back. And the king forgives him. We know the story, Matthew 18. He goes out — he's forgiven. I can see it: he's skipping out of the court. Yes, I've been forgiven. I've been set free. My sins have been forgiven. How many of you remember being in the altar and no sins being forgiven, right? That's what happened. This is what the story is. It's a parallel between the parable. It's just like you and I: we come down to the altar, we realize that we're sinners, we realize that the grace of God is available to us, and we ask God to forgive us, and he forgives us, and we leave this place, we feel so good. How many remember that? How many remember that, you feeling good, those alter times? Oh, you feel so — what, light and good. Why? Because that has been lifted off of you. All those offenses, everything that you did that God didn't want you to do, you ask, he forgave you. But the parable goes on and says that he went out, he found somebody who owed him a hundred bucks. The Scripture says he grabs him by the throat. He says: pay me the hundred dollars you owe me. And he says: I can't. I don't have it on me right now. But if you give me some time — now 100, there's a difference between 100 and a million dollars, okay? He had just been forgiven of a million-dollar debt, no chance he could have ever paid it. But a hundred dollars, that's not unreasonable. Just give me a little time, give me a week or two, I'll get you a hundred dollars. But he doesn't. He takes it. He drags him in. He drags him to the place where he was going — listen to this — to the place where he was going before he was forgiven, and he throws him in the prison. How's that guy gonna pay back a hundred dollars in prison? Thank you, Aaron. It's impossible at that point. But the king finds out what he did, and the king brings the man back in, and he says: oh wicked servant — powerful words — wicked servant, did I not forgive you when you ask of me? Was not what I forgave of you a very massive amount of money? Yet here you are, and you went out and found somebody, somebody that owed you, and you have drugged them into prison. Now you go. That parable shows me — you interpret it how you want — but it shows me that if I'm willing, if I choose unforgiveness, it puts me in a private torture chamber that I live with. I'll replay the events over and over and over in my mind. And things that happened 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, they still seem fresh in my mind. I can still feel the sting and the pain. I remember the words. It's all there, because I refuse to forgive. That's why, ladies and gentlemen, this is such a dangerous thing. It doesn't get taught. I know I've taken a little bit of time, and I am bringing this to a close right now. That if you hang on to those offenses — the Greek word for unforgiveness is a synonym with bitterness. Bitterness can take a sharp stake or spear, and it drives it right into your heart. And just like bitterness, unforgiveness hurts. Sorrow can last for years, but yet it can recall every detail in an instant. Right there. Right there, it comes back. Right there, every time you remember the moment, right there. That's what happens. Hebrews 12 15, my last verse: looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled. President James Garfield had been president less than four months, July 2nd 1881. He'd been shot, assassination attempt. They didn't have modern medicine. They bring him in. They began to try to dig out the bullet. And for the next few days they went in over and over and over again, to try to successfully remove that bullet. He didn't die from the bullet wound. He died from the infection of so many attempts to try to remove it. Ladies and gentlemen, you can't let that set in there and fester. It spiritually kills. Do you hear me? It spiritually kills you. You may physically walk around. You may, you may get through the day, but you're dead inside. So my message is done. I'm done. And here's the altar call. This is a time for all of us to examine if there be any unforgiveness inside of us, because it's important that you understand forgiveness. That was the message title, Understanding Forgiveness. That I am not forgiven if I do not forgive. Pastor Kevin, God's grace covers over me, hides a multitude of sins. Yes it does. Yes it does. But it is tied to you being able to forgive. Even Jesus himself said, when asked, and gave the disciples' prayer: our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth — there's heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Then what did it go into? What was the next? Come on, you Bible knowledge people. What was next? Forgive us what. As — why? Because it's connected, that I'm not forgiven the debt that I include against him, if I refuse to let go of the debt that has owed me. So bow your heads. I'm gonna pray. And whenever you're ready, this altar is open. But I'm telling you, listen to me, look at me one more time. Look at me more time. There's a healing in this place today. Somebody needs a healing. I'm talking about a spiritual healing in your life. It's here, if you'll be obedient. I wasn't preaching this message today. I had another direction I was going. But in my prayer — my, my prayer bench in my office — God directed me this way. I know somebody's here, so please don't miss this chance. Pray with me. Jesus, I delivered the word. Gotta pray. God, you take over now and do what only you can do, that brings us to a place where we can reconcile inside ourselves where we are and what it is we need to do. Lord, give us the capacity to forgive those things that have been done to us. Bring us to a place where we can release and move forward to all that you have for us. Oh, let your love move in so strong in this place. Oh God, give us the ability to let go. This altar is open. I encourage you. I encourage you, take advantage of this moment you have here today. Let a healing take place inside of you. Let God do what God does best.