Wednesday Night Bible Study
by Mark McCool, Jamie McCool
First Apostolic Church of Knoxville (Knoxville, TN)
Kind: Bible study
Scripture: Luke 16:8, 1 Peter 3:7, Proverbs 22:1-2, Proverbs 22:3, Proverbs 22:4, Proverbs 22:5, Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 22:7-8, Malachi 3:8-11, Proverbs 22:10, Proverbs 22:11, Proverbs 22:12, Hebrews 13:15-16, Colossians 4:6, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 22:13, Proverbs 22:14

Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/mark-mccool--wednesday-night-bible-study-26
Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page.
Free to copy and share with attribution.

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Well, Glory, thank you for your giving. Thank you, musicians. Praise the Lord, everyone. Praise the Lord. >> Good to hear you and see you in the house of the Lord on this Wednesday night for Wednesday night in the word worship in the word. We're excited to be in the presence of the Lord with each and every one of you. I want to briefly take just a moment to uh give you the chronology of some exciting things that's happening uh this weekend. Pastor Whitley has already announced to you the scheduling for our marriage retreat, but we here at First Apostolic Church for uh this is the 25th year that uh we have uh uh chosen to have a marriage uh retreat with seminars and guests coming in to speak to us and uh it's a very important part of the fiber and foundation of First Apostolic Church. I realize that uh we've talked about the uh example that Christ gives between the relationship between him and us the church as the bride and the bridegroom. And it's very important for us to always understand the importance of marriage and the sanctity of marriage. And uh Sister Jamie and I have had the privilege of uh uh going to other churches and districts and uh helping them with marriage retreats before. And we thought this year to uh kick off this weekend of celebrating marriage that it would be appropriate for us to spend a little time here at home with you. We are blessed with so many wonderful marriages uh that have uh been around for many many years. I'm excited that Sister Jamie and I have been married for 44 years. Uh, and that's that's wonderful. I I I hope she's as excited about that as I am. Uh and I'm thankful for the example that First Apostolic Church and the married couples uh of this assembly have been to every generation and the uh uh teaching that we've received for many many years and passing on to other generations. So I want Sister Jamie to make her way up at this time and she's going to greet you. We're going to talk a little bit about fortifying our marriages tonight. Would you welcome her at this time? >> Thank you, baby. >> Had to bring my own water. They don't have women water up here. So, praise the Lord, everybody. I'm so overwhelmed tonight and honored to be speaking and teaching tonight to all of you wonderful couples, singles, saints. I love each and every one of you so much. giving honor to our leadership, Bishop and Sister Mcool who couldn't be here tonight. Um, my children, Pastor and Sister Whitley and my grandbaby Eastston. And I honor Pastor and Sister Anthony Mcool, Eleanor, and Callaway. We're heading into our 25th official marriage retreat. We call it our official one because we had marriage things before that, but we're calling it our official 25th marriage retreat. It's going to be an exciting time this weekend. We have grown over the years. Our marriage retreat has grown to include a separate Hispanic PIA marriage retreat. I don't know if everybody knew that, but I want to let everybody know it. Um, it's rather large Hispanic uh marriage retreat and we have several daughter works who have marriage retreats. God has truly blessed this mother church with more blessings than we can count. Um it's all about branching out, isn't it? It's all about winning souls. So, actually, we actually have two marriage retreats here, but we'll be having um the non-Hispanic marriage retreat tomorrow night and actually Friday night and Saturday. Um we just thank God for all he's done. We just thank him for all he's done. Now, what I'm going to speak tonight is very simple. I am not roughly and pink and daisies and I'm very simple. I'm practical and that's how I speak. Kind of like a teacher would speak. Oh, that's right. I was one. So, life doesn't have to be complicated. Um, there's enough that goes on that we deal with on a daily basis that we have to face that we don't need to make it even worse. It doesn't have to be complicated. Um, this is the I'm going to go over these top 10 things that every married couple should know. Top 10 things every married couple should know or single person. If you're a single person, these are good for you, too. And we're going to do the countdown so you'll know where I'm at. Number 10. You can learn and glean from all sources to strengthen your marriage. Whether it's positive, whether it's negative, you can learn from all experiences. But then you stand back and you use the good and discard the bad. You're learning. You're learning what to do and not to do. Um, I am not promoting this person that I'm going to talk about. So, don't go off and say, "Sister Jamie loves this person I'm going to talk about." Um, I'm not promoting this person, the lifestyle of this person, but I want to talk about the way this person, his name is Michael Jackson, the way he dealt with people. Okay? I watched a documentary once and I learned so much because even the Bible says we can learn. We can learn from others. Um he and you know he was very particular about what he what he did. If you were chosen to be on his team, you were topnotch. But he never during the instruction he would quietly say, "Um, will you come over here? I need to talk to you just a second." He would give his instruction without putting someone down. He would do it in love. He would end the sentence with, "I love you so much. If you'll just do that for me, we'll do a lot better." Nobody else knew what he was saying. He didn't embarrass the person. You know what? I learned a lot from that. Just watching him deal with other people. Um, again, I'm not promoting Michael Jackson, but if we could be honest with oursel and how we deal with others and not embarrass each other, spouses included, I think that that will go a long way. Um, you can learn cooking. If you don't know how to cook, I'm I mean, you can learn online, you can learn on TV how to put something together. Grab YouTube and figure it out. Um Luke 16:8 states the children of the world of this generation are wiser than the children of light. We can learn from all aspects. Don't be afraid to ask for help with each other with other people. Find somebody. I try to find somebody. Hey, you can do this better than me. Help me with this. Don't be afraid to do that. There are no set rules for marriages. We're going to talk about this later. Um, when it comes to everyday tasks and jobs, I guess looking back and I I'm going to discuss this in another number. Um, I kind of had a turned around childhood and I'm going to get to that in a minute. Um, who runs the errands, who buys the groceries, who cooks? Figure out what works for you both. All right. Number nine, don't take any issues personally and don't jump to conclusions. Um, if you're learning that from your parent like I did, just to just to get all excited and I had to learn to wait a minute, let's breathe. Let's think about this thing. This is bringing unnecessary stress into your home. You dump it on your spouse when you don't even know what really happened. You don't even know the truth about the matter. Analyze the situation. I don't share everything with brother Martin Mcool. He probably doesn't share everything with me because there are little things that happen that he doesn't need to be stressed over that I can take care of on the side. Now, I'm not hiding anything from him. I'll tell him, but it's just needless to everything's not an issue. analyze the situation. Figure out why. Why is this person doing this? Why is my husband speaking to me like this? Why are we not communicating? There's always a why. Maybe he's sick. Maybe you're hungry. Maybe there's a reason. Find out why. Put a lid on the drama. In other words, um, and I'm going to add this little addendum to number nine. Don't go in debt. Don't go in debt. Do your best. If you're in debt, work your way out of it. Um, and don't don't shoot arrows at me, but don't take a vacation if you're in debt. I'm sorry I said it. Um, save that money. Get out of debt. Then later you can do the things you need to do. Okay. Number eight, and that'll lead into this one. Couples go through seasons of life. Now, it's amazing how your lives will change over the years. When you have little kids, you just think you are never going to sleep again. This is it. This is over. I'm going to have little kids till I'm 90 years old. This is going nowhere. I'm exhausted. I don't know how I'm going to make it. Yeah, I went through all that. Brother Mark went through all there's no sleep, okay? There just any isn't any time for yourself. this will end. And sometimes it ends very abruptly. You will look around and wonder where the years got off to. I mean, I saw someone say, "When you say 20 years ago, I think of the 80s." No, now it's 2000 something or another. That's 20 years ago. Okay. You will look around and wonder what happened. Where who is this person in the mirror that I don't want to look at anymore? That's for sure. Okay. It's just that's the seasons of life. Every season. Newborn, toddler, elementary school, teenager. God help us all. And I'm glad they're not in here. God help us all. College age, marriage, marriage, and then the best part is the grandparent part. It seems like that. I didn't understand hearing. Why are you saying that? Why? You're old. Why are you saying that's the best part? I guess you don't care as much. And you really don't. You just let those grandkids do whatever they want. And then sometimes you have to reverse your roles. And I've been there as well. And you have to take care of your parents. Enjoy every speck of it. They're all seasons. None of them last forever. Now, here's the deal. When you're going through the seasons, the newborn, stay active in church. I can't sing in the choir. I just had a baby. Yeah, you can. I did it. We We've all done it. Um I can't go here. Yeah, that that child will be resilient. I promise you. Um toddler, elementary school, um teenager, if you have a death, our parents pass away. We don't take a month off of church. You can't take a month off of your job. So, you don't take a month off of church. That sounds so hard, but this is the best place to grieve right here is church. This is the best place to get back involved. If you don't get involved, you will never get back involved. Um, number seven, one spouse cannot personally do it all. Okay? There are no set rules for husbands and wives within the home. Of course, what the Bible says, we're subject to our husband. But you got to figure out what's best. Okay? I'm going to tell some secrets tonight. Okay? I hate to drive. If you know me, you know it. I will drive if I have to. I hate it. Brother Mark loves to run errands. I don't know why he does, but that's what he does. Thank God. Okay. I hate to sew. Guess who sews in our home? Brother Mark. He's an art major. Okay. That is really weird, isn't it? That is, but I I don't like it. Now, I am the organizer, the cleaner, and I cook and those kinds of things. Um, growing up in the 1960 era, I guess 68, I was five years old. I went to kindergarten. My mom was the only one who worked in my class of all the kids. Okay. which taught me to do things for myself. My dad bought the groceries. I thought every dad bought the groceries. Okay, but my dad bought the groceries. That's just what the way they worked it out. Um, and you you can't be afraid of those things. Whatever works for y'all, you know what? Your kids are going to survive. My mom worked. I survived. Sometimes I don't know how, but I did. I survived. And it makes you resilient. When you give responsibility to your kids, it makes you resilient. Number six, spouses need to have a servant versus, and when I say spouses, I mean everybody. Spouses need to have a servant versus entitlement mentality or mindset. Your spouse and your children need to see you being on time for church. Okay? This is a terrible cycle. It goes from parents to kids to grandkids that it and it is. It's a cycle. Um, have faithful attendance, productive involvement, and they need to see you supporting the leadership and the things that go on in the church. Your children will inherit a passion to serve if that's what you show them. They'll be a giver and not a taker. And it all this stuff happens when they're little. And you will be so glad when they get older that you did these things. Um, let's be satisfied with what we have and not always comparing or playing the victim. Um, social media can really do a number on you. A single person, a married person, a pastor and his wife. I I always tell our our people, let's let's build people up, not say, look what we've got, you don't have it in other, you know, and this when a pastor's going through, he's had a rough day, he's had 15 in attendance, he doesn't want to see, look what I have, okay? He wants to see God can do it. God is there. He is ready to bless you. That's what he wants to see. That's what we need to promote in our social media. Um that way it's easier to win souls when they when they see you really mean it from the heart. Um playing the victim can just again it's a cycle. It goes from parents to kids. The blame game. Be honest with yourself. That's my soap box. Be honest with yourself. Is this my fault? What have I done? Okay. Number five. And you knew clutter was coming. You knew it was coming. Number five. Release the clutter in your life. Let go of past wrongs and experiences. Get rid of grudges. Get rid of what you did when you were a teenager. You cannot go back. And I'm going to add an addendum here. I see a lot of enabling of teenage and adult children because parents are thinking, well, I didn't do that for them and I didn't raise them right, so that's why they're doing that, so I'm going to enable them. Well, that doesn't help them at all. Okay? You need to get rid of all of that mess. It's not easy. It's not easy to bury those grudges, but you need to forgive yourself. Um, and then as a spouse or a family, don't throw those grievances back up in the other person's face. Once they're gone, they're gone. Okay? Um, we show our children and our grandchildren how we respond in situations. Even at our lowest point, we have to respond how they need to see us. Number four, be your spouse's cheerleader. You should be each one's number one fan. Don't criticize or belittle one another in public or at home, but especially in public. Healthy communication is key. Disagree to disagree. Sometimes no one is right. Sometimes both of you are right. Um sometimes it really doesn't matter. You know, if that was green or blue or whatever, you just want to fuss over it. I don't know why. Um, sometimes it really doesn't matter. So, be positive. Find each other's strengths. Communicate. Communicate about, "Hey, this bothered me today. Would you not say that anymore?" And then drop it. Okay. Like I said, sometimes both people are wrong and sometimes both of them are right. So, there's no drawn battle line of who's right and who's wrong. sometimes. Number three, this is a big one. Keep your home a haven of rest, not a mad house. Okay, that's not easy when you have kids. I know. And grandkids. Lord help. But sometimes we can make it better. Okay. Keep your home a haven of rest, not a mad house. You, your spouse, your children, and your grandchildren must have a safe harbor to unwind, wear your pajamas, eat little Debbies, and take your hair down. Okay? You got to have that place. If you don't have that place for your husband or your wife, they're going to go searching for that place. You have to have a place of refuge. Um, is it always clean? No. No, it's not always clean. As much as possible, keep it clean, maintenanced, clutter-free. It doesn't have to be everything new and fancy. Um, keep it simple, peaceful home. Have a peaceful home where your kids want to come to and steal your diet cokes, by the way. But I won't go there. Okay. The family is the backbone of the church. Okay? So if this family's hurting and this family's hurting, then the church is hurting. Don't let the devil infiltrate your place of refuge. He will try with everything he has. Number two, keep your marriage sacred. Never, never speak of your intimate life or your personal life to others. It's nobody's business. Okay? Stay separate. have friends, but there are just things that you don't talk about. Okay? There's just stuff you don't talk about. Only your your mate, your spouse, your significant other, and certainly don't post it on social media. It's amazing. Okay. Um, keep your marriage between you and your spouse. There are too many demonic spirits out there just laying in weight. You tell the devil what's wrong, he's going to stir it up and find somebody to to make you feel better. So, watch what you say, watch what you do. And if you'll if you'll work on these things as you live your daily life. Yeah, you slip up sometimes. I do. I slip up sometimes. But then you say, "O pray God help you." Every morning, this is so simple. the things I do every morning. And I got this from my mom. I say, "Lord, help me say and do what I need to say and do. I mean, that's so simple, but it's it helps me get through my day." All right. And very lastly, we have number one. Okay? And this is just the basic of a Christian life. This is the basis. Don't eat sometimes, but do pray in love. So, we're going to fast sometimes and we're going to pray and we're going to love. We must fast regularly. Pray daily and love every moment of every day. Okay. Now, all of this that we've talked about and brother Mark's going to talk about and the reason we're here and the reason we want to have this good life with our spouse or our families is to be a light to win souls. That's why we're here. This is what you have to keep in your head as you go through your day. This is what As you get older, you know, as a teenager, you're not thinking about that. You're thinking about is she looking at me? Are we going to go out on a date? But as you get older, you realize, hey, this is why I'm here. I'm here to win souls. We have to get all of this stuff together to be a shining light to the people around us. We're put on this earth to be soul winners. Being a soul winner starts with getting our personal self right. If your personal self isn't right, your marriage won't be right. So, you get your personal self right, your marriage on track, and your family under God's guidance. God wants us to have a life full of grace while we live on this earth. 1 Peter 3:7 states that we are heirs together of the grace of God. And now with all of this said, Pastor Mul is going to come to continue our study on fortifying our marriages. >> Thank you, Sister Jamie. Would you give her a great big hand? I love you. Thank you so much. I want to continue with our study and you can see that I am blessed beyond measure. Uh, I give all you folks a little bit of insight. You single folks who uh have not been married, uh, do like I did. Always marry up. Uh, you'll be blessed. I promise you. Did I ever marry up? Uh, I'm thankful that God uh provided me with a wife. I prayed as a a a single young man uh that uh I would rather never be married than to marry someone that I couldn't serve the Lord with. Uh and I I felt that strong about it. And I understand scripture that tells us to delight yourself in the Lord who give you the desires of your heart. I desired to get married, but I also desired to serve the Lord. And the combination of those two things can and do work out if you keep your life under the authority and the direction of the word of the Lord. I want to take you uh to a passage of scripture that you might not think would apply to a marriage uh seminar or message, but I hope it will before the night's over. Uh because we're talking about fortifying your marriage. Proverbs 22. We're going to kind of do a a quick narrative study of the first 14 verses of Proverbs 22 and we'll stop and pause and use a few a few bullet points along the way. Um, but we read, "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver and gold. The rich and the poor meet together. The Lord is the maker of them all. Let me have every married couple in the room to yourself. Ask yourself this question. Don't look to your spouse and ask them, but just a little bit of self-examination and ask yourself, does my marriage have a good name? A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver and gold. Does my marriage have a good name? And then take them a moment to looking from the outside in and just observing other marriages. Look at those that you consider to have a quote good marriage. and then look at those that just between you and me, you say, "That doesn't look like such a good situation." I promise you, if you start examining those things, you will find some common threads in the disciplines that you'll find for marriage that's found even in the book of Proverbs, the 22nd chapter. Though it's not just strictly talking about marriage, there are some ideas and there are some concepts that greatly will improve the marriage relationship. J. Vulgetti, the American British industrialist who was once the world's richest man, said, and I quote, "I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting marital success." End quote. He expressed a deep regret over his five failed marriages, prioritizing marital happiness over his immense wealth. Never mistake, if you're in the house of the Lord tonight and you have a happy marriage, you and your spouse are happy with each other and you're serving God, you have wealth untold. You have something more important than gold or silver. You have something more than any commodity that can be traded in the stock market. You are blessed beyond measure. Now, I understand many folks think that if we're going to talk about marriage that in a seminar, it's either about physical relationships, intimacy, or interpersonal relationships between husband and wife. But tonight, while these are intricate parts of the marriage relationship between a husband and wife, the marriage unit itself must be reinforced. It must be fortified against the tricks of the enemy and the attacks that are against the institution of marriage itself. I would take you, we read verse one and two, I want to take you to verse three. Verse three says, "A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished." I would instruct everybody in the house, every married couple, be proactive and not reactive in your marriage and your relationship with each other. Now, what do I mean by that? Well, that term prudent that's used in verse three, a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself. That term prudent defined is exercising wise foresight, careful discernment and sound judgment to avoid danger, manage resources, and live in accordance with God's will. It implies that thinking through consequences, restraining impulsive behavior, and acting with discretion rather than rashness is the way to operate. I borrow this from it's a it's credited to Alcoholics Anonymous in a way of making decisions. We've talked about this before. They talk about the halt principle. The halt principle, an acronym that we should all remember in any decision makingaking. That simply means you should not make important decisions when you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Now, I know that's not biblical, but it's a biblical concept for this idea of being prudent in your marriage. Too many do not approach the problems of life proactively. In other words, they're anticipating pitfalls. They're seeing problems. One of the greatest problems that we have even in safety management in our school and and in our businesses and in the workplace is too many folks are reactive rather than proactive. They wait till there's a problem before they deal with it rather than anticipating a problem and avoiding that problem. So it is with a successful marriage. You need to have discernment about what is going to cause conflict. You need to have sound judgment in your decision makingaking. You're not rash and work out of temperament or temperamental attitudes. And and you don't just fly off the handle and make rash statements and and do ridiculous THINGS JUST BECAUSE YOU REACTED TO SOMETHING. Back off. Take a breath. Consider consequences. Consider what's going to happen if you do thus and so. Restrain yourself from being impulsive in your relationship with your mate and in general in the decisions that are made in your marriage. I've seen so many folks who would have been so much better off if they'd have slept on their decision that they made for 24 hours. In the world of sales, the term caveat mTor, let the buyer beware. They eventually had to pass some laws in the sales of many things that uh allows folks to change their mind over a certain period of time. If you buy a car, you've got uh 24 48 hours to to back out of it. The reason being there are too many folks that impulse buy and there's too many folks that impulse sell in their marriage. There's too many folks that impulsively make decisions that are for a lifetime, but they make it with a rash unconsidered decision. Verse four says, "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life." Biblically, humility is defined as a heart level attitude of loneliness, meekness, and an honest realistic view of oneself in relationship to God and to others. We need to learn to be honest with ourselves. That term to be honest with yourself is characterized by total dependence on God. realizing any ability or any opportunity that you have, God provides that. An idea of putting others first and being in active service in the kingdom of God. Sister Jamie so aptly stated, "You can multitask in life and all of the tasks of life and still serve God actively. There are things that you can do in service in the kingdom of God when you've got children. There are things that you can do when you've got an empty nest. You can still do things in the kingdom of God. You're not too old and you're not too young and you're not too middle-aged. You can always do something in the kingdom of God and that will strengthen your marriage. Bullet point number two, do not be overconfident in your own talents and abilities. Verse five says, "Thorns and snares are in the way of the forward. He that doeth or rather he that doth keep his soul shall be far from them." What does that term forward mean? The Bible uses words on purpose. These aren't just thrown together. The term fraud describes someone who is stubborn, perverse, disobedient, or willfully contrary, turning away from what is right in the will of God, often with a rebellious or deceitful heart. Forwardness will cause a perverse attitude. someone who is deliberately obstinate, someone who is unreasonable. These are all issues that keep a marriage from having a good name. being able to reason together. Learning how to say you're right and I'm wrong. Learning how to say I made a mistake. Learning how to reason some things out. Sister Jamie went on to mention the childbearing years and the child raising years. All of this is found in Proverbs 22. Verse six says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old, he will not depart from it." You should raise your children by example. The greatest example a husband can be to his children is to love their mama. That's the greatest example. The greatest example a wife can be to her children is to love their daddy and have a relationship that exemplifies the love of God in their relationship. The love of God of working together. It should never be. You know, I know some when you you you start talking about marriage relationships, some folks can't wait to get preacher, read all those scriptures about obedience and subjection. Scripture also says, "How can two walk together except they agree?" Scripture also tells us that the two shall become one flesh. Don't treat your spouse in any manner different than the way that you would want to be treated. And let me ask you, there's many of you who anticipate that day that the next generation, your children now will someday grow up and get married and they'll have children. You'll have grandchildren. How do you want your grandchildren to be treated? Let that be an example of how you need to treat your children while you got the chance. How how do you want your kids to deal with their kids? Now, I realize what verse 15 of that I said we were only going through 14, but I have the opportunity of jumping down to 15 and tying it to six because verse 15 says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from them." Correcting children does not usually mean physical contact and it never means abusive actions toward children. The least Oh, some of y'all you you going to think I've I've gone far left, but but you better hear me. Yes, there is a time for a good old-fashioned spanking, but that should be rare and far and in between. If you've done your homework beforehand, if you've been consistent, the rod of timeout works a lot of times. The rod of getting grounded works a lot of times. The rod of lost privileges works a whole lot more effectively. But most of all, the rod of consistency with your children works the best. Too many want to correct their children only when they're angry. They let this go and they let that go. They let there's no consistency. I'm not talking about being uh a uh an ogre and a beast. The best children are led by the best parents who correct through love, who are consistent with the disciplines that they set down in their lives. Children look for instruction and discipline. That's why they look for boundaries. They're wanting parents who set proper boundaries. if you are too strict. Bishop Mcool taught our teachers a an insur inservice lesson many years ago that's indelibly etched in my memory. He brought a bearing as in a bearing for a wheel to our inservice. And he talked about the way a bearing works that it had to have grease and there were multiple freewheeling bearings in that larger cylinder. And he talked about how that bearing had to be tightened to just the proper tightness that if you got it too tight, it would burn the bearing up. If you got it too loose, it would wobble and wear it out. But it had to be tweaked and it had to be at the proper tolerance for it to work for the wheel to turn properly. Please understand if you make unreasonable rules, in your marriage, in your spiritual life, and dealing with your children, it'll burn up. I've seen folks make unreasonable spiritual commitments. Oh, brother Makul, the Bible uh wants US TO TO SACRIFICE AND SACRIFICE. Uh there is there's times of fasting in the Bible, but you know, there's also times of feasting in the Bible. There's prayer time, but there's also fellowship time in the Bible. And all of those things must be balanced properly to be a ba a a a a balanced Christian. It's the same in your marriage, your relationships, you're getting along. If it's too loose, it's too too tight. You'll either burn up or wobble apart. The same with consistency with your children. You can make the rules so stringent that it's impossible and it will cause rebellion. Or you can be so inconsistent that your child will not get a clear signal of what is the proper life to live. The best way you train up a child is the example that you are to them every day. Sister Jamie mentioned specifics. Your church church attendance, your work attendance, being on time. If you have your children being habitually late for school every day, how do you think they're going to make it in the job market? Oh, I just hate to wake them up. You better learn to wake them up or you'll be keeping them up. Teach them to get to school on time. Teach them the the proper way. Now again, is it going to wobble? Is it going to burn up? Or are you going to find the sweet spot that makes everything all right? And then let me mention, Sister Jamie mentioned this. I'll just I I'll continue on in Proverbs 22 verse seven says, "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. He that sweth iniquity shall reap vanity and the rod of his anger shall fail. You must in a marriage or if you're single or if you're going to survive intentionally manage your finances. One of the common problems that as a pastor I find myself dealing with in marriages is financial issues. Not necessarily not necessarily a lack of finances but a lack of managing one's finances. This goes back to that idea of prioritizing some things. Sister Jamie mentioned, we sometimes feel like, WELL, I DESERVE a vacation. You don't if you have great debt. You need to take care of your debt first so you can enjoy your vacation. You need to prioritize things in life. Where does the priority start? It starts with God's financial plan. Malachi said, "Will a man rob God? Yet have you robbed me?" But you say, "Wherein have we robbed thee?" And tithe and offerings. You're cursed with a curse. For you have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithe into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house. Prove me now herewith, sayeth the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive. And I will rebuke. Now, God's giving this word. He said, I will rebuke the devourer. Who's the devourer? The enemy is the devourer. Man, I I know I need to pay the electric bill, but did you see that new Armani suit? My My neighbors got one of those purses THAT SAYS LV ON IT. I know that the electric bill's coming due. Are any of those things wrong? No. if you can afford them. But if you haven't taken care of the essentials first, if you haven't disciplined your your life to be able to manage what you're earning, quit looking at everybody else. Quit trying to keep up with the Joneses. Jones don't care if you keep up with them or not. And I that's in all due respect to brother and sister Jones is not here tonight. He said, "I'll rebuke the devourer if you will do your part of giving what God has blessed you with." Because there's a there is a discipline that goes along with tithing and offerings that teaches you a discipline in managing and budgeting in your life. THERE'S ALSO A spirit with unmanaged, undisiplined finances. There will be folks who invariably when they get behind in their debt, whatever they're behind in is what they'll have the most complaints about and issues with. If you've got a credit card to Banana Republic and you haven't been paying it and they start sending you bills. Man, those clothes from Banana Republic are cheap anyway. I don't even like them. Now, I'm I'm I'm trying to be non-controversial, but let me put it this way. I find that most folks that have a problem, an issue with everybody and everything are usually folks who will never take responsibility for their own finances and their own actions. It's everybody else's fault. Let me tell you, if you will get your finances under the authority of the word of the Lord and if you will find yourself discipline your disciplining yourselves, quit looking at everybody else. What everybody else has, it doesn't matter. Get your finances in order. Quit paying interest. Quit putting yourself deeper in debt. Instead, find yourself disciplined that God is blessing what you have. It it said in our beginning verse that the rich and the poor meet together and the Lord is maker of them all. How does that happen? How does he make some folks rich and some folks for poor? There's some folks that obey the word and some folks that don't. and their own disciplines or lack thereof is what it makes them out to be. Oh, let me let me proceed quickly. We're headed headed down. Jesus said this. For which of you intend to build a tower siteth not down first and countth the cost whether he be he have sufficient to finish it. Oh, but did you smell that new car smell? Hey boys, you can buy that in a bottle now. You can put new car in a a 2020 car with 100,000 miles on it if you just need new car smell. Don't put yourself deep in debt that creates you being subject to the lender. The borrower is subject to the lender. Be be careful. The rich ruleth over the poor and the borrower is s servant to the lender. He that sweethth iniquity shall reap n vanity and the rod of his anger shall fail. You'll find yourself constantly angry at those that you owe and the entities that you owe. You'll find yourself finding fault, always at odds. Jesus was simply teaching and said before you decide to build a tower you better sit down and cost count the cost whether you got enough means and resources to finish it less happily after you've laid the foundation is not able to finish it all that behold it begin to mock him saying this man begin to build and was not able to finish and then you get embarrassed and find fault with others let me move quickly I have two more points that I give you about your marriage. Be careful who speaks into your marriage. Verse 10 of Proverbs 22 says, "Cast out the scorner and contention shall go out. Yay, strife and reproach shall cease." Bad marital advice from scorners are those who have contempt and disdain for marriage. You heard the story of the fellow that went to Florida tried to get a job as a lemon picker. They said, "Do you have any experience?" He said, "I guess so. Been married five times." Apparently, he was the one had the problem. You see, WE WE'VE GOT to be careful what speaks into our marriage. What advice? Ungodly, scornful advice about marriage. Well, if it was my husband, if it was my wife, here's what I'd do. Better be careful where you're getting your advice. You better take the word of the Lord. You better be get godly direction, not to be working off of bad advice. That comes with learning to communicate. There are a lot of good communication scriptures in that same passage. Verse 11 says, "He that loveth, puress of heart, for the grace of his lips, the king shall be his friend." Verse 12, "The eyes of the Lord preserve knowledge and overthrow the words of a transgressor." There's some folks who are so kind to everybody but their mate. Listen, that's never going to be my old lady. She's my queen. She's my sweetheart. She's my princess. It's not my old lady. I'm going to talk with her better than anybody else. I need to have the same care and kindness toward her. I will not criticize her behind her back to anyone else, including her children. She's got to be the best. should be with every spouse towards your mate. There needs to be a kind consideration of each other. There needs to be a care, a loving kindness that is a at a level that is above everything else. Uh if you can speak kind words to a king, you better be able to speak kind words to your prince or your princess. You better know how to speak with grace. Hebrews 13:15 said, "By him, therefore, let us offer the sacrifices of praise to God continually, that is, the fruits of our lips, giving thanks to his name, but to do good and to communicate, forget not, for with such sacrifices, God is well pleased. It is a sacrifice to communicate. It's a whole lot easier to misunderstand and miscommunicate. You have to sacrifice. You have to work at it to say what you meant. I've got two minutes according to the clock and I'll try to finish on time. Uh that's one of the many issues with social media. For many times the things that people say does not have the feeling behind it. Just because you can write in all caps doesn't mean you're expressing the proper relationship and the proper emotion to what you're sta you're saying. It's a sacrifice to communicate. Take the time to communicate with your spouse. Know there's a different language between you and your spouse than anybody else. Understand that relationship. Look, if If you say, "I need some sugar," I'm going to give you granulated sweetener. If she says, "I want some sugar." I say, "Puck her up, baby." There should be a different communication between you and your spouse and anybody else. Stand stand with me. Hateful, rancerous, coarse, insulting communications are damaging to a marriage in the long run. It's a poor example to your children. Colossians said, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man. You should have graceful speech." Ephesians 4:29 said, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." My last point was this. Verse 13 and 14 gives improper excuses for procrastination and yielding to temptation. Verse 13 says, "The soulful man saith there's a line without I shall be slain in the street." In other words, he's always got an excuse not to work. Also, always got an excuse not to be where he should be. always got an excuse for shortcomings. And then verse 14 says this, "The mouth of a strange woman is a deep pit. He that is abhor of the Lord shall fall therein." This is speaking of the temptation to violate the marriage relationship. I've said it in Jess before, but I want to remind everybody, you're not gentlemen all that in a shirt pocket. There are people that do not know God that have evil intent to break up marriages. There are folks who have evil intent, both male and female, who because they have not put their life under the authority of the word of the Lord, think nothing of your marriage relationships. Don't ever be flattered by the mouth. The language of a scripture refers to it as a strange woman. The old country adage was this. The rooster says cockadoodle do. The hen says any o dude will do. Some some of you gentlemen, don't ever let yourself be tempted by someone who wants to destroy the marriage relationship. You should be true to your spouse. You should care for your spouse. You should have a special relationship that no one can separate you because you've put your life in a covenant with God when you took vows before God. Our marriages should be the best that are. They should be the greatest example to all and they should lead us in the paths and the pathways to heaven. Let's pray. Savior, I love you. God, I thank you for the privilege of being in this house. I thank you for the married couples that are here that have been married for so many years. Lord, have been an example to me and my wife. Lord, I let us be an example to other generations to come. Let us value the strength and the power of the marriage relationship. God, let us be an example of your relationship to the church, to all in this world that would desire to be like you. Lord, go with us. bring us to our marriage retreat and back to service at the next appointed time. For all this, we're grateful and thankful. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen. Lord bless you. You're dismissed in Jesus name. We'll see you either at marriage retreat or Sunday morning.