Family: Peace and Communication in the Home
by Michele Sloan
October 23, 2024 · Cornerstone Apostolic Church (Chattanooga, TN)
Kind: teaching
Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 1 Corinthians 12, 1 Corinthians 12:26, 1 Corinthians 16:14, Psalm 119:165, Mark 4:36-39, Philippians 4:4-9, Philippians 4:13

Source: https://acts238.life/repository/sermons/michele-sloan--family-raymond-sloan-michele-sloan-10-23-24
Published by Acts 2:38 Life from the sermon transcript on that page.
Free to copy and share with attribution.

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praise the Lord everyone if you would stand with me tonight I'm so thankful to have all of you with us tonight in the house of the Lord on a Wednesday night it is so good to be in his house and to be excited about talking about family and and getting into the word tonight thank you so much for being here hopefully some others will come in and join us before long but I wanted us just to start off in with pray we're not going to put the pray list we'll let um Pastor Sloan take care of that later we'll let Raymond take care of that later I'm not used to calling him Pastor Sloan so I'll just call him Raymond and we'll just let him do that later but let's just get our minds upon the what the Lord would have us to do in this class tonight and just have our minds R in our minds from all the activities of today and help us tonight Lord Jesus thank you so much you are so good good and so mighty and so awesome and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be here tonight God I ask right now that you would Minister in a special way Lord in my heart and in my mind help me to speak words Lord that would encourage and help our families that are represented here tonight God I pray that we would learn from your word that we would live in this world and in this culture but in a Biblical way God that we can demonstrate and show your love Lord through our actions through our families and I pray right now that you would move in a powerful way in jesus' name we pray in Jesus name let's give him some praise and glory and honor tonight thank you Lord you are good you are so e about home life and the family

many of you have heard me talk if you've heard me talk about family or marriage or parenting you've heard me talk about how I have always looked at our family as a team if you get a message from us or a Christmas card from us you're liable to see from the Sloan team because I think we're all very vital and important and we all play our part in a team now my kids at one stage in the game probably thought when Mom calls us a team what does that mean work work work work we're all going to work we're all going to join in um but that's not the only part of it there are a lot of when we had fun we had fun as a team as well so anyways what is your favorite of course when we think of the word team we think of sports team what's your favorite team Georgia Tennessee I didn't hear what you said the Tampa Lightning okay all right all kinds of various and various so brother Vandy brought up a valid point we're in football season right right now so obviously we think of the titans the UT the Georgia the Alabama all of the teams that are around this area those are not cuss words I promise not in Chattanooga because you might run into any of the above right as well as other parts of the of the us as well so we all think of football we think of what's going on at the moment well I thought it might be enjoyable for us to have a picture representing family team and I thought we might have fun tonight thank you I tried to think of who I tried to think of who in here so there's our team there's our family team right there let's give them a hand okay let's give them a hand after last week's and I felt like we needed a little bit of a laugh and thank you for laughing with me and there would have been nothing less fun than to put that up there I knew they could when I was trying to think of who to use as the example I thought yeah Seth can handle it they can handle it they can they can laugh with me over that but anyways we that may be a silly picture that we're thinking about but at the same time the concept of a team really is very true uh in our lives although that's not much of a biblical term you're not going to look up team unless you look in a different translation than the King James version you're not going to probably even find the word team in the Bible but the idea of doing life together and working together is a principle found throughout the scriptures throughout the scriptures we see teamwork when we when we see Jesus call his 12 disciples and they begin their Ministry and work together we see teamwork when they're working together we see teamwork there's not enough time to go into all the stories but Nehemiah in rebuilding the wall you see lots of teamwork there Gideon when he had his army he had to minimize his team right to to be able to do what God had called him to do and then there's so many others that we could uh give as examples

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 and 10 two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor for if they fall the one will lift up his fellow the one will lift up his fellow but woe to him that is alone when he falleth for he hath not another to help him up it is good to have someone on our side it's good to have someone in our presence now that doesn't mean so notice that it says it's not good for him to be alone when he falls right that does not mean singles singles may be in their home by themselves at times they may not always be with other people but they need people on their team and there is a difference in being single and being alone there's a huge difference and God provides a family for for everyone and there is a role to be filled and every every life has a role to fill in a family all contribute their skills their personalities and their unique role to the team everybody has a part to play no matter how young no matter how old everybody has a part to play on a team who likes to be part of a winning team is there any uh faithful UT supporters here tonight but maybe this year it seems a little bit more exciting maybe I have a tend see to say oh I can't wait till the game on Saturday as opposed to other Seasons when that's not been maybe as enjoyable everybody likes to be part of a winning team right we all do and with Jesus we can be part of a winning team in a in a family all contribute their skills their personalities and their unique roles so remember that First Corinthians chapter 12 talks about family or it talks about actually it doesn't talk about family it talks about how in the in the church and in the body of Christ how important it is to all of the members to be functioning together right we can also apply that though in our families we can apply that need for each family member and apply that scripture in 1 Corinthians chapter 12 in 12 verse 26 it says and whether one member suffer all the members suffer with it or if one member be honored all the members Rejoice with it so in talking about the body of Christ here in Corinthians chapter 12 we can also apply that to members of our family so when when someone in our family's hurt when someone in our family is having a health issue we all are affected by that as well as when we're having fun or when we're honored and and receiving Awards and and winning right we're all affected by that as well

so who are the members of a family team anybody I know we can use the analogy of football we can use the analogy I it amazes me we'll get ready to watch or listen to the UT game on a Saturday and I'm like we might be in a restaurant have you ever looked around and there's like a baseball game going on too and I'm like wait a minute is baseball season ever going to be over so so that football season can be on or are they all just going to be all playing at the same time all playing at the same time right who can be a member of a team what are the what are the roles of a team I need your participation that's where you yell out so we have a coach support a captain players Benchwarmers yeah cheerleaders a janitor yeah you do depending on which you know which sport you're playing I didn't hear some El some others we okay so if we're watching professional football for example you have an owner you might have a coach you might have a manager a trainer you probably got medical personnel I guess the trainer is kind of considered medical personnel but you might have you will have players you will have cheer leaders and you will have fans they are all very important to the success of that team now different sports are going to have different roles that are involved they're all very important to the success of that team um and if we wanted to just try to compare it who would be the owner of our team Jesus would be the owner of our team of my team who would be the co coach okay so Raymond would be the coach who would be the manager that would be me now those roles can get different but that happens to be that happens to be our talent and our our uh our skill pool I guess you could say right who could be the trainer that might be both of us we might have to share in that because I'm not so sure who would be the players in our team so Lauren and Stephen and Sam and Britney and Elsie and soon to be a right so those would be our players who would be our cheerleaders friends and family could be my mom and dad are wonderful cheerleaders my grandparents and and unfortunately my family lost a very important cheerleader but she was a cheerleader um nonetheless and I do miss my mother-in-law what about the fans who would be the fans yeah I don't think there's anybody that's our biggest fan other than besides Raymond but that could be just outside influences support that you need in your family um from friends from church from spiritual leaders someone that is on your team or a part of your team they may not be there every day but they have influence and influence on the team everyone and I'm just thinking of my personal life you've heard enough of from me speaking that you know that I have some very special people in my life I have a lot of special people and I don't I don't have time to name them all tonight but everybody needs a Jean Williams and a Carla de PRI on their team everybody needs outside influences everybody needs and the reason I mentioned these two ladies tonight is because you need somebody that will be honest with you you can't have a successful team if everybody's a cheerleader you don't see very many professional teams win the Super bowl without a coach and a trainer and lots of other people involved you don't see them just with cheerleaders out there they're important and I'm thankful for cheerleaders but we also need people who will be honest with us we need people like Carla depri when I sit down to tell her something over the table she'll say well you know I'm Michelle I think the world of you but and then she goes on to tell me what she thinks might I might not be considering about whatever the situation is I'm I'm talking to her about she might say hey Michelle I love you but are you being a little controlling in this situation ouch they don't feel good always does it or it might be like my mom you remember last week I told you that brother depri when he married us he really encouraged us never to talk negatively about our spouse right not even to our parents to my mom or anyone well after several years of being married I mean literally do you know when you do something that you know you're not supposed to do you have to almost work up to it is anybody else like that of course I'm a rule follower you know so it really I really had to work up to it and Raymond had really aggravated me and I don't remember how many years we'd been married and I was with my mom and I was working up I was like I know brother Dei said not to talk bad about Raymond but I am going to share with her exactly what he did and I you know so I'm working it up in my mind right and I get ready to say Mom do you know what Raymond did and you know what she turned around and looked at me and she goes Michelle Raymond is your rock and don't ever forget it yes ma'am yes ma'am so we need people like that in our lives I'm using those examples to tell you that we and I haven't I haven't never forgotten it there's times when I'm aggravated and I'm like he's my rock he's my rock he's my under Jesus Jesus is my main Rock right but uh but after that but I just can't help but tell you now my mom is on my team she's been my cheerleader she but she also is honest with me when I need her to be honest with me things are important to the team um and things that are that I want to share with you that are important to the team and its members

every team member has a need to be loved and to be known everybody I don't care who it is in your family or not us as humans just like to be loved and we like to be known 1 Corinthians chapter 16 verse4 let all your things be done with Charity let all your things be done with Charity with love

we need to support each other we need to serve each other and we need to serve together and serve other people as well it's important it's an important part of a family makeup that you serve one another and that you also that it's not all about you and your family but that you learn to serve others I know when we were teaching our children when they were young many of you know that Lauren was in the Chattanooga girls choir and let me just say they were beauti they did some beautiful classical they sang classical music and they did some beautiful concerts I think some of you may have even attended some of her concerts or a concert of hers but as Stephen got older that wasn't his favorite thing to do on a Friday night coming to hear Lauren sing and all you know all the other girls was not his favorite thing I used to say you just need to show up for your sister you just need to be there probably when he played soccer it probably wasn't her first thing on her list she wanted to do on early early on a Saturday morning but I encouraged them because they needed to support one another they may not have been at Lauren I can't remember I didn't keep count but I don't she may not have been at every soccer meeting Stephen may not have been at every choir concert but I tried to encourage them you need to support one another we all need support we need to support each other we need to work hard and play hard together we need to sometimes life is just way too serious I'm way too serious I have a tendency to focus on all the serious things but thank God he gave us Raymond because he certainly helps us to find the fun in everything we do and I am thankful for that I am so thankful and you need to to work on that as well you need to work hard and you need to play hard

now there's two areas that I want to share with us real quick and I am running short on time I've probably got five more minutes or six minutes something like that and I need to turn it over to RA in two areas that can help us have successful home lives that I want to talk with us about I'm going to speak on one of them Ray's gonna speak on the other way the first one is peace in our homes peace in our homes now everybody sit there fold your hands in your lap don't move and don't say anything is that what we mean when we say you're going to have peace in your home everybody's just going to sit on the couch and nobody's going to get excited and everybody no that is not what it means to have peace in your home absolutely not Psalms 119 and 165 in the new King James version and I didn't tell them that so they probably will put King James version up there and that's fine great peace have those who love your law and nothing causes them to stumble so if we love the law of God and we truly have a faith in his word nothing now that doesn't mean we're not going to mess up that doesn't mean we're not going to make mistakes but nothing is going to cause us to stumble at least to the point where we won't at least get back up if we do nothing your faith must be steadfast unmovable and not circumstantial if you truly truly want to have a Home of Peace you must have a faith we talked about this from the very beginning what was the very first thing that we need to worry about is being saved is the most important thing for everyone in this room is salvation and we've got to have a faith that is steadfast unmovable unshakable and not circumstantial what is your definition of Peace you don't necessarily have to yell at that but I just want you to think about that do you think of a nice warm bath quiet music playing what is it you think about when you think of peace peace and quiet do we say that a lot peace and quiet so a lot of times we do think of it as being quiet I think we all are mistakenly think of Peace as calm certainly in Mark chapter 4 when Jesus and the disciples were in the ship Mark chapter 4 I'm not going to read this for the sake of time Mark 4 verses 36 through 39 we know the story or most of us know the story and if you don't please go home and read this tonight we see Jesus getting into the ship with his disciples they start across and a storm comes up where is Jesus sleeping sleeping so is the real PE peace when he got up and spoke to the storm to stop so that they would quit fearing and be and being scared or is the real peace the fact that he laid down and went to sleep in the middle of the storm to me that's what we are talking about when we're talking about peace if you've got a two-year-old in your house you are not going to have lots of moments of just really peace and quiet but you can have peace in the middle of that there can be a spirit of peace that can indwell your home and your dwelling but it's got to start here in each of Our Lives it's got to start in our hearts in each of Our Lives could it be that we could learn something from Jesus that's I say laugh out loud because obviously we learn lots of things from from Jesus he was sleeping on this ship in the middle of the storm and they had to wake him up because they were fearful they had to wake him from that peaceful rest he wasn't worried about the storm he didn't he would have went on in the ship to the other side sleeping in the storm he would not have been worried he wouldn't have been focused on the Storm if the disciples hadn't have called his attention and need needed help he that was not his Focus that was not his Focus

let's look at the scripture um that has some help for us about and then I'm just going to read this last verses of scripture but there is so much packed into this scripture Philippians chapter 4 veres 4-9 I'm going to read it real quickly and then we're going to go back and examine each verse rejoice in the lord always and again I say rejoice let your moderation be known unto all men the Lord is at hand be careful for nothing but in everything in by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God and the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and Minds through Christ Jesus finally Brethren whatsoever things are true whatsoever things are honest whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure whatsoever things are lovely whatsoever things are of a good report if there be any virtue and if there be any praise think on these things those things which we ye have both learned and received and heard and seen in me do and the God of Peace shall be with you wow that is packed full packed full for the sake of time I'm going to move right back to the verse four again rejoice in the lord always be joyful I'm going to just talk about the verse really quick each verse and what I feel like the Lord is trying to tell us in that verse that we need and can apply in our homes in order to have peace in our homes in our home life rejoicing in the Lord Joy joyful no matter the circumstances verse five moderation balance go Jesus is teaching us that we have to have a balanced life in all aspects verse number six be careful for nothing and then he talks about Thanksgiving so don't worry and give thanks don't worry and give thanks those are two ingredients that would help us in a lot of areas of life all of these would verse seven and the peace of God which passees all understanding you don't have to understand you do not have to understand why or what is happening in order to trust Jesus and be able to have true calm true peace and then verse eight I think if I was going to look over there to see if Lauren was quoting that verse I think if we had one scripture in our family that was a themed verse that was probably the one I preach I started to say preach mentioned over and over and over again as my kids were growing up and I had to remind myself control your thought life you have got to have control over your thought life and then and those things which you have both learned they're in this scripture so we've we need those things that you've learned you've received and you've heard we've got to listen we got to accept that the Lord is trying to speak to us and we've got to grow we got to learn from it we got to apply it we can hear it all day long but if we take it out of here and we never apply it to our lives it's not going to do it any good

two enemies of peace in our home is anxiety and stress both very real in our present World 85% of physical is illness is caused or worsened not always caused but or worsened by stress we have got to do something about the stress in our lives stress is tearing down our bodies our society and our families we must learn God's way ways to manage stress and put them into practice we've got to repent we got to forgive we got to move on we got to handle these situations and all the things I just me to mentioned to you just a few moments ago Rejoice thanking the lord having balance in our lives couple of warnings and then I'm asking Raymond to come so he can finish out our lesson today take full responsibility take full responsibility for your family one of the greatest enemies of peace in our homes is parents who are indifferent if you're indifferent and not willing to put in the work that is involved in having a successful peaceful family you will not find peace you will not find God's peace in your home do not be a fate don't say well I heard sister Sloan say it so I'm just going to and we do sometimes use the terminology fake it till you make it but there's nobody that knows you're faking more than the people you live with there's nobody that knows and recognizes it right away more than the people you live with and let's work on reducing Stress and Anxiety in our homes you can do this just just a few verses down from what I just read to you in Philippians chapter 413 says you can do all things through Christ with Christ you can do all things and over come every circumstance and situation in Jesus name

thank you you're supposed to be done so she talked on peace oh that picture where go that picture I don't care I don't care what you say Seth you the man I didn't know you was a I didn't know you was a b fan um to continue let's see I only have two hours in not um Peace in the home and a blessed home all right who can help me really quick Proverbs 18:21 somebody read Proverbs 18:21 go James 36 somebody very good Colossians 46 somebody very good Galatians 5:15 somebody yes okay very good sorry I got I got another one in there I I'll look at it later she talked about peace and blessing in a home how do you get that how do you get peace and blessing in your home she gave some very very practical things agreed for the next few moments I want to talk to you though about Communication in your home because that'll help you get the peace and the blessing you need communication in the family must be consistent and reliable and our 2000 plus culture in America the greatest challenge is consistency uh my wife and I have said this a billion and eight times in this church if it was wrong yesterday it it consistency communication you have to be honest and you have to be open how many you know honesty is easy everybody's like I don't have the answer honest and open Brother Sam I got a ring coming right back at me right here can you help me with that anybody writing down some notes write this down content may not always be positive but intent must always be positive content may not always be positive but intent must always be positive you may not always have good things to say but your intention better be right understand I'm on I get in trouble I was trying to start try she talked about earlier about how that there are times when there are discussions that are loudly spoken in our home um because it's hard of hearing you know you got to hear that's the only thing we could come up with you canot like something but you all know it's in the way you say it and if your intention is to destroy break down and hurt guess what you are not going to have peace in your home guarantee it but if your intent is to help to encourage to simply speak your mind and be done with it that okay now there are benefits in gratitude in the home she mentioned stress anybody here ever stressed look at your neighbor and say are you stressed look back at them but are you blessed are blessed there are some benefits to thankfulness at home again one of the SE the second greatest challenge in our 2000 plus Society is ungratefulness not they're not content not thankful for what they do have benefits physical do you realize that if you are grateful at home you will have improved sleep reduced illness increased energy increased exercise longer life this is science the emotional side of a grateful home is this more relaxed more positive mood more resilient better memories less envious okay the personality side of gratitude in the home less materialistic less self-centered more optimistic increased self-esteem esteem more spiritual and more socially outgoing if you have a grateful heart grateful home in your personality it's going to be seen also in your vocation you'll be a better manager or better managed improved networking you'll be gold achieved you'll be increased in your productivity you'll be improved in your decision making if you have a Greatful home your social skills will change you will be outgoing you will be healthier in your marriage and in relationships they will be deeper and you will have better friendships and you will understand the value of being kind Communications is what we're talking about if you want a blessed home my wife and I we have said this multiple times and I'll repeat it now you've got to be intentional with your home you've got to on purpose decide we can do this there's not a perfect home out there there's not a perfect home out there but what we can do is we can make our homes peaceful and blessed okay

in our homes we have to estabish Lish practices that will develop blessings number one practices that will establish blessings number one God honoring values standards that a family lives by Mom and Dad listen to me your children do not own your home they have never made a mortgage payment most likely your children have not bought groceries at the store nor have they paid the electric bill I'm guess I'm guessing at this some may have listen carefully you have to live by a standard in your home so you have every right as a mom and dad to tell your children it's because this is how we are going to live I use the same thing that my dad used on me and I am certain that I've heard that my son has used it on his little one or he's trying to Daddy why we got to do this go for it ready say it because I said so well that ain't true because the books and the lawyers and the doctors and all say that that's not valuable yes it is I I used to tell my kids when they were young Dad how come we don't do this and that family over there does because I said so and then finally I learned this you know what son girl until you are old enough to have your own convictions you will live by mine cuz you're not old enough yet you're going to get them but until then you'll live by mine but Dad they go to movies or or they go to