Transcript of a published conference session by A. D. Spears, transcribed from YouTube. An attributed primary source — not Acts 2:38 Life doctrine text.
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Summary
Summary prepared by Acts 2:38 Life from the transcript below — the preacher’s words follow in full.
Summary
- A. D. Spears, pastor at Longview, Texas (the captions write it "Long View"), delivers a message he has carried for over four years: a word not for the shouting service but for the preacher, the preacher's wife, and the saint who is quietly breaking down inside — healed not by running harder but by being renewed in the mind. (The message stands entire as captioned — no introduction is captioned in this cut, and nothing is seamed out at either end — packet.md.)
- **In his room, and the three texts.** Between two and four that morning he preached the message alone in his room without a mistake; a week earlier he delivered it to his own church for almost two hours, and that high-geared Sunday night nobody moved or shouted — yet it may go down as the greatest service that ever came their way, because God healed them in the mind and in the heart. Brother Tenney had him do it at a couple of conferences, and at midnight brother Anthony Mangun (as captioned, "manangan") called and asked him to do it here. He warns the house: he will not lift his voice or preach it in his usual emotional style; for the next hour let him open his heart to somebody who may be hurting. He reads three far-reaching passages: present your bodies a living sacrifice, transformed by the renewing of your mind; who shall separate us from the love of Christ — shall tribulation, or distress — and his compressed persuasion that neither death nor life nor any other thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God; and the harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved — for the hurt of the daughter of my people I am hurt; is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there? Then the house prays, hands joined, before he begins.
- **Distress, and the facade.** One of the texts promises a renewing of the mind; another raises the strange question whether the things it names can separate us from the love of God. Famine will likely never touch them in America, but distress might: the prophet's daughter is sick, and if a physician is there, why is she still sick? We live in a complex age that will not wait for an answer, and the pressure leaves people confused and hurting inside. Every preacher at this pulpit has been honest; he is sick of the facade — handshakes in the foyer, "how you doing? fine, great," while inside the churches there is turmoil: people losing out with God, preachers hurting, preachers' wives confused. From this convention forth they will not succumb to a confused church: the devil knows that if confusion reigns in the mind he does not have to do a thing — the potential, the power, the glory lies dormant, and we destroy our own effectiveness for the cause of God.
- **The hug, and brother Johnson's warning.** In the Longview service he had everyone do an odd thing: sit and put their arms around themselves and hug themselves. He will not ask it here, but that night he watched men suddenly break and cry with no song and no music, as the glory of God seemingly put His arm around the saints and the facade came aside. Then the warning that came to him as a young pastor: brother Johnson, a lay preacher in his church, had suffered a massive heart attack at thirty-five and would sit on the pews until he died, because nobody ever pulled him aside and sat him down long enough to let him heal — "you better slow down." He did not listen; that was Johnson's problem, not his. Nobody likes the word stress; it sounds like defeat, almost like sin. But it is not God's will for a man to be destroyed in the everyday aspect of life: somewhere there is a point of restoration, a healing of the mind and of the spirit, a renewing. The body and mind are so uniquely made by the Designer of the universe that you can only take so much — and that's it.
- **Not all problems are spiritual.** The hardest thing he has had to learn as a pastor: when people walk in the building we prescribe the treatment, and sometimes their problem has nothing to do with their spiritual state. Emotions rise and fall daily in ways spiritual conditions do not; a man comes off the job tired, his mind in turmoil, and we tell him to worship — he struggles, and we breed confusion in him about what is God and what is physical emotion. He confesses he has helped destroy such people: "go on another three-day fast, pray five more hours" — prayer used as an aspirin process, which works for a headache but not for a tumor on the brain. Sometimes all a man needed was somebody to sit down and say, "Hey buddy, it'll be all right in a day or two — you're still a child of God." His own people told him the message convinced them they were not backslid just because they did not feel good: distress is not going to separate us from the love of God. Women with monthly physical problems, new converts browbeaten for not getting with it — the danger is attacking a man's reaction instead of treating his problem. God is not the author of confusion.
- **His own coming apart.** He was raised in a preacher's home in an era that taught you to wear out rather than rust out, to never slow down. In 1974, in a revival, he began to come apart — and who do you tell? Brother Barnes (as captioned, "brother Barn... W Barnes") sat him down: go home to Quincy and quit preaching for a while; you have wound yourself like an eight-day clock, and the only way to unwind is to be put down a while and unwind slowly, or the spring breaks. He was preaching revival for brother "Mike hudman" (as captioned), driving 184 miles one way from his little trailer, running back after the service, leaning against the trailer wall — "oh God, if you don't help me I don't know what I'm going to do." Your office becomes your weeping chamber. A vacation will not do it; somewhere you have to meet the problem where it is.
- **The guilt syndrome, Stockton, and three years on the floor.** Then the guilt syndrome starts: I have got to get it done. He questioned God — the whole world depends on me — and God stopped him: when were you born? 1941. The world was in trouble before you got here and will be after you are gone; all I am asking is that you play your part in the time allotted, and I need you at your best, not a hull of a preacher. A year ago, preaching a Sunday school convention at Stockton, California, God spoke in the middle of a sermon: go home, shut down your preaching across the country, be gone only twice in the next year. A year later the preachers there saw the difference before he did — somewhere a healing had been happening inside. He had taken the Longview church in 1977 and dragged himself to that pulpit; they launched a building program, and three months from its close the bank defaulted. For three years he never really slept — twenty minutes, then up walking the floor, crawling on the living-room floor, beating the wall, face buried in the carpet. He withdrew even from his best friends; we are scared to trust somebody, scared it will be told and twisted. Where is the man who will be a physician, bind up the wounds, pour in the oil, and see you restored? He apologizes to brother Arnold for driving through his city knowing he was hurting and never calling. Men and saints have been lost not because they loved sin but because they were hurt and had nowhere to go.
- **The night the light went out.** In 1984 he finished that church; brother "Kill" (as captioned) came to the dedication. One night, walking out of the church and looking at his wife, it was just like somebody turned the switch off — he went totally lifeless and dead; brother Spencer (as captioned) told him later he saw the moment it happened. He has sat down with doctors — do not fault him for it if you carry a prescription in your pocket; you trust God. At the end of his road, totally broken, he began to research everything he could to find what had happened to him and how he could be healed.
- **The science of the mind.** What he found: ninety-nine percent of it had nothing to do with the devil — he himself did what all of hell could not do, loading his system until it broke down its immune system and destroyed the only thing God has chosen to use. The little piece of gray matter between the ears: a hundred billion cells, each connected to a thousand others, over a hundred trillion connections, making over ten thousand kinds of chemicals. Load that system down and scientists say some of those chemicals are destroyed; they cannot be manufactured in any lab, and when some are depleted the body never makes them back. David's lying-down wording is woven in here (voiced without a locator — noted in place, not indexed; packet.md): somewhere in the laying down a healing begins. When stress builds past what the system can handle, it begins to short-circuit — not a spiritual problem but a physical, overload problem: standing in the pulpit unable to call the names of his own saints; more deaths attributed to pent-up emotions that never got out than to any other leading cause, anger chief among them; the fight-or-flight syndrome — God made the system to react instantly to a rattlesnake, but we live our whole lives in it, every problem a crisis, running a million miles an hour in the computer age until the system will not operate anymore.
- **The preacher's wife, and the outlet.** He tells it though it is embarrassing: a preacher friend and his wife, people who took him in and gave him some of his first revivals — not very far from here, life became so mixed up that she laid everything out and took the gun. He is not here to debate the point: what would have happened if somewhere there had been somebody she could have opened up to? We say "how are you doing — fine." He may be looking at preachers only days from a massive heart attack they do not have to have, and wives on the verge of a stroke, only because the system is loaded. He quotes the medical material he carries — a Baylor College of Medicine voice (as captioned, "James E Skinner had of the bayor College") on healthy people suddenly dying from stress-related malfunction — and the doctors' outlet law: like water in a lake, if it cannot go over the spillway it will move the dam. God made three major areas — mind, heart, and the total physical man — and one of them is going to suffer if you do not find a place to come aside and be renewed.
- **His peace, the autopsy, and they that wait.** Jesus promised more than a tongue-talking feeling: my peace I give unto you, not as the world gives (the peace wording is voiced with Jesus named as its sayer and without a locator — noted in place, not indexed; packet.md) — a peace that passes all understanding (likewise woven in without a locator), which renews and heals again; He has chosen you for a work and will equip you, if you do not destroy the only vessel He has to use. In the last days men run to and fro and their hearts fail them (the fused wording is voiced as Jesus's saying, without a locator — noted in place, not indexed) — because the system was designed to take only so much. His wife's brother, a mortician (as captioned, "a martian inport"), tells of a twenty-four-year-old who stood up in a boat on the lake (as captioned, "Lake bisto") and fell over dead: the autopsy, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, found not one thing wrong — the system had lived under so much pressure that it ran out of supplies and shut down, a process doctors say can take two weeks to finish. After another conference a solid preacher — "a rock in your District" — grabbed him in the hall, looked over his shoulder, and wept: "you saved my life." Then he reads his closing text entire: hast thou not known, hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary; He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might He increaseth strength; even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall — but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. This generation cannot wait for a miracle, but some healing processes take longer than thirty seconds; when you come aside a while, you will mount up with wings, walk and not faint.
- **Belinda, and if we lose them.** He cannot prove what he is about to say. He calls his oldest daughter Belinda forward — he has two babies, this one and his youngest — and tells her something she has never heard: when he walked through his roughest valley, she is a total reflection of him; he watched her go through her roughest times, watched her struggle, almost lost her — and only this week saw it: "baby, it wasn't really you, it was Daddy." The greatest revival the world will ever have lies within our doors, and it is our kids: if the Levitical priesthood had lost its sons there would have been no priesthood. Parents wish they could put an arm around a child who is their reflection; he may do it wrong, he may have to go a thousand miles out of the way, but he is not throwing his aside. Go back home and let God renew you — because your son and your daughter are struggling because you are struggling; if you die, they are going to die; if we lose them, we lose it all. He closes on the words "all my peace."
Scriptures: Romans 12:1-2; Romans 8:35; Romans 8:38-39; Jeremiah 8:20-22; Isaiah 40:28-31
Scripture index: Romans 12:1-2; Romans 8:35; Romans 8:38-39; Jeremiah 8:20-22; Isaiah 40:28-31.
Transcript
and if all of you could have been in my room between 2: and 4 this morning I preached this message perfect I didn't make a mistake I didn't offend anybody I didn't make a fool out of myself but I don't know where yall were thank you brother P he didn't preach to nobody else but but me no no no it couldn't have been you but killed her no I guess he tore apart the first part of the message and I I I have to tell you a thing or two before I start this is totally different I probably will not lift my voice and I know I have been a very I am a very emotional preacher I usually preach from the front to the back and everywhere else but I beg you that for now let me to deliver to you something that God has worked on my heart for over four years and a week ago I delivered this to my church and I'll not be as long today as I was then but for almost 2 hours Sunday nights and Long View are geared High we start high and we don't ever slack off the way it is but that Sunday night not a person moved there wasn't even a three or four amens nobody shouted but when we got through it will go down as probably the greatest service that has ever come our way because God did something to our church that night he healed Us in the mind and in our hearts and Saints came to me by the drov and said I've struggled so long I've been confused and God gave us an answer then brother Tenny had me to do it in a couple of conferences over here and the other night at midnight brother Anthony manangan called and said to do it here all I can say is this message will not fit everybody today but someday in your life it will tonight will be the ultimate of Glory this is the place Alexandra Outreach shaken the World Victory Glory but for the next hour let me open my heart and talk to somebody who may be hurting this place today Romans the 12th chapter I'll begin three passag of scripture Romans 12 and 1 I beseech you therefore Brethren by the mercies of God that you present your body as a Living Sacrifice wholly acceptable unto God which is your reasonable service and be not conformed to this world but be you transformed you say transformed transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans the 8th chapter if I take it a little bit out of context hold on for the UN told me if I got shot too much he would stand behind me and plug up the holes Romans the 8th chapter and the 35th verse who shall separate us from the love of God shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or Peril or sword or I am persuaded that neither death nor life all of these things nothing is going to be able to separate us from the love of God now in the book of got where it was Jeremiah that's where it is amen Jeremiah the 8th chapter one more scripture usually by this time I'm in high gear amen and have already preached a half a
sermon Jeremiah 8 and 20 the Harvest is pass summer is ended and we are not saved for the hurt of the daughter of my people I am hurt I am black astonishment have taken a hold of me is there no bomb in Gilead is there no physician there why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered would you join somebody's hand and pray that God would touch both of us you and me father God in your name I need you God I need you God I need you God oh like never before Jesus Holy Name Jesus Holy Name hallelujah praise God praise God hallelujah Hall Hallelujah God's going to do it God's going to do it hallelujah amen thank you and you may be seated I read to you three far-reaching passage of scripture and I will endeavor to be conscious of the clock today one of them says that there must be a renewing of the mind then in Romans it raises the strange question and I am not being negative today at all I think my Ministry for the few years that I have been preaching has declared I am not a negative preacher I'm always positive but it may sound a little bit negative at this point but hold on the writer raises the question that shall certain things be able to separate us from the love of God I seriously doubt that some of the things that he mentioned will ever touch you and I in the United States of America probably in our lifetime I doubt that the Famine of Ethiopia will ever reach in my lifetime and be the Raging despair that it has been there I out some other things but there is one thing that he raised the question that possibly affects a lot of people in this building today and he just simply said will distress be able to separate us from the love of God and then Jeremiah said that the daughter is sick and if she is sick and if there is a physician there then why is she still sick we live in a very complex age I read recently that the strangeness of this hour is that no longer can we wait for an answer the computer age has brought us to a time that we don't have to wait the answer is immediately and we have become geared to the fact that we are not going to wait and in not being able to wait we end up very very confused and very hurting inside a lot of time I wish today and probably before I'm through I will will do it every preacher that has come to this pull pit has been very honest we have pulled the facade aside we have taken the plastic aside and I for one am sick and tired of being or having to make out like nothing is wrong when inside we're dying on the inside I I've shaken hands with all of or a lot of you and you've asked me how I'm doing I've lied to most of you since I've been here and most of you have lied to me and we said hey how you doing and it's fine great how's everything man it's good how's the church how's everything going hey it's great but inside we look at one another and if we could pull the facade back today inside our churches there are
turmoil people are losing out with God preachers are hurting Preachers Wives are confused we're at the point we're ready to pull our hair out and somehow we're in great turmoil and distressed today but something will happen to us from today forth not from my message but from this convention that we will not succumb to the power of this age we will not succumb to being a confused church and Confused people with pressure and problems and confusion that will tear us apart and destroy us but we will come forth renewed in the Holy Ghost and renewed in our mind By A Working of the spirit of almighty God in our heart and life now there is a lot of things that the devil will do and many of his tactics has been approached in this convention but there is one thing that we battle that the devil does not have a whole lot to do and that is the devil knows that if he backs off and folds his hand and sits down if the church becomes confused if confusion Reigns in our mind he does not have to do one thing but we destroy ourselves and our Effectiveness for the cause of almighty God all all the potential that is in us all the power that lies resident in us all the glory all the action all the motivation that we are pushed to do lies dormant if we allow the confusion of Our Lives to so confuse us we cannot do the will of God with a confused mind and therefore the devil attacks us but because of the times because because of the hour because of the situation we must not allow the enemy to destroy us one thing that we did in our local church and I'm getting a little too excited here but the first thing that I did in the service that night I had everybody to do a very odd thing brother Arnold this sounds like you not me I had everybody to just sit there and put their arms around themselves and hug theirselves it did then what it did right then I'm not going to ask you to do it but when I did suddenly I looked across that congregation and the glory of God seemingly put his arm around Saints I watched Men suddenly break and cry there was no song there was no music but somewhere they began to pull the facade aside suddenly they didn't care if the brother crossed the aisle saw that I've got a problem I'm struggling on the inside I'm hurting I'm confused I don't know where I'm going I'm not talking about confusion of Doctrine now don't get me wrong one fear that we have among ourselves is that we are afraid that nobody else has been to the hurting point where we are and because of that we put on the front how are you doing great but in side we're dying we're hurting no one wants to admit you lose people nobody wants to admit that they're backsliding out of my church nobody wants to admit that they're getting divorces in Long View and I don't want to admit it but somehow the pressure of the Mind the confusion the turmoil the despair the keep pushing keep going don't worry about it destroy yourself keep on and the devil said if I let them go they will destroy themselves there Comes A Time if you hear a knocking in the engine don't race the motor if you do you're going to destroy it when I went to Long View one of one of the men who is a lay preacher in our church came to me name is brother Johnson he came to me and he said pastor I want to talk to you and I said okay and I didn't listen to him I mean here I was ad Spears I'd preached in three or four Fellowship meetings and I even got to go to live Tabernacle one time and and you know here here he was just brother Johnson but he said son I'm going to tell you something you better slow down I said slow down he said 35 years of age I suffered a massive heart attack and I'll sit on your pews until I die
it's getting quiet I'm going a different route but he said I suffered it because nobody ever pulled me aside and set me down long enough to let me heal and they said keep going don't worry keep and he said now I sit on your pews I'll Never full feel a pull pit again and he began to weep and he said you better listen to me but I didn't listen to him because you see that was his problem not mine but then pressures of Life begin to build up and then stress begins to come in we don't like to use the word nobody likes to say stress it sounds like defeat it sounds like a backsliding state nobody wants to say we've got problems because when we say we've got problems we almost get on the outer edge of saying we got sin but hey friend we've got problems I stand before you today with maybe even Temptations and I stand here with struggles definitely struggles but somewhere it is not God's will for me to be destroyed in the everyday aspect of life it's God's will somewhere for there to be a point of restoration for there to be a healing of the mind for there to be a healing of the spirit for there to be a new renewing and a restoration now hold on it gets controversial at this point everybody has a right in this service today to hear an answer from God and you have heard it over and over again the outward pressure begins to build up in the mind and if there is not a release somewhere there is going to be a turmoil on the inside your body and your mind are so uniquely made by the designer of the universe you can only take so much I didn't make you that way you didn't evolve into that the designer of the universe says there's only so much you can take and that's it now not all problems are spiritual problems and the hardest thing I've had to learn as a pastor and I'm not sure I've learned it total because I have almost destroyed my own self physically by not understanding this concept but somehow that when they walk in the building we prescribe the treatment and sometimes their problem has nothing to do with the spiritual state that they are in spiritual conditions don't necessarily rise and fall daily the way people struggles and their emotions rise and fall but when people are confused as to what is a motion and what is a move of God then they come off the job and they're tired they're weary their mind is problem and they've got turmoil on the inside they drank enough coffee to kill them they eat enough sweets to run their blood sugar up they walk in the house of God and then we say come on worship God they struggle for it and we look at them and say hey you're not worshiping God you're backslid you got the devil you need to be in the Altar and so we breed in that man confusion as to what is God and what is a turmoil of physical emotion going on in his life I've seen them and I've helped to destroy them when they have come to me dying on inside and brother manang they've been so with termol when I've looked at them and I couldn't decipher what the problem was I didn't take time to realize that there was all kind of mental pressure going on I just said go on another three-day fast go on a 7-Day fast get in that prayer room and pray five more hours next week I know this is not popular and somebody is saying but I want to tell you friend there are some answers that we going to give them that's going to breed enough turmoil and confusion in their mind that they're going to crawl out that back door and they're going to backslide by the drolls because somehow God is not the author of confusion now I realize that's why brother Tenny took a little moment before I got up here he had heard me he takes all the blame today I've prescribed the treatment and you have before when sometimes I have used prayer as an aspirin process it works all right the aspirin does if you got a headache but if you got a tumor on the inside of the brain the aspirin is not going to take care of the tumor and sometime we've looked at him and we tried to make him
run I have maybe not you and we've tried to jump them one more service and we tried to lay hands on them and shake them and said all you need is talking tongues a little bit and it wasn't that they needed to be healed in the mind they needed to be healed inside they were hurting they were dying they were confused they were in agony and maybe all they needed is somebody just sit down and say Hey Buddy it'll be all right in a day or two you're still a child of God I'm not getting too much response out there but but the biggest response I got back from my church brother Kilgore is they told me oh Pastor you convinced me I wasn't backslid because I didn't feel good you convinced me I I hadn't lost out with the Holy Ghost just because I didn't feel what everybody else felt but I've been going through a problem I've been distressed and Paul said but we are come to the place that distress is not going to separate us from the love of God it's not going to do it it's not going to do it amen we we don't want to accept you see today as I talk I look across this audience and occasionally I see a man do this and occasionally I see a lady do this but you see especially what I'm talking about now nobody wants to break down nobody want to get the Han of out and said oh God he's talking to me I'm at the end of the road but some of you came to this conference and you know you didn't come because you wanted to you came because you struggled and said don't know where to go but if something don't happen I'm going to cave in I'm about to lose it all my mind some of you Preachers Wives can't take it much longer but God is going to give us an answer and there will be a healing and there will be a restoration just because you've got a problem does not mean there's something wrong just because you've got problems does not mean that you're a bad sinner some of the problems don't have anything to do with spirituality there are problems of the mind that does not have anything to do with your walk with God and I'm going to wait off into that and hang myself after a while not all problems are spiritual but if all problems do not come to a solution they will eventually become a spiritual problem but many of them do not start that way oh Lord here goes amen there are ladies that come into our congregation that with physical problems and some of them go through it once a month it's called PMs and they walk into the building and they don't feel good and it's just one of those things it's the way God made the body made the life make them run and shout all you want to that's not going to solve the problem because you can't prescribe an aspirin when you've got a tumor in the brain and sometime we instead of healing we've added to the confusion and I've watched new converts when I've thrown out the fact hey what you need boy you're just not praying enough you you're just not getting with it I was preaching the other night and I noticed you back there you wasn't even with me and then the danger thing comes that the the man who is my friend suddenly becomes my enemy because then I begin to attack the his reaction rather than trying to treat his problem and and Jeremiah said man there's something wrong my daughter's hurting why is there not a position there look it up that calls A Healer of the Mind in Jeremiah is not a Healer of the Mind there I'm not trying to be Psycho but I'm going to tell you my friend there are some problems that all the devil's got to do is set back in the corner he don't have to tempt us he don't have to do anything we going to run our motor and Destroy ourself if somewhere there's not a balance comes to us hallelujah hallu and suddenly I see more tears beginning to to be evident across this building I was raised on a preachers home a loving father great people I thank God for my heritage but I was raised in an era that I was taught you don't ever
slow down you wear out rather than rust out you give yourself you don't ever worry about it you destroy yourself you go go go go go and nobody told me that that if I did that and I didn't never pull time to retreat if there was never a time to pull back and be renewed Ed and restored that after a while I'd run out and the pressure of life would get so the stress factor would become so the burdens would become so in my own mind and life that I would become confused it's in times like this when we say hey keep running a little bit faster and you said I've gone I've run as fast as I can I've pushed it all I can I can't push it anymore but I'm afraid our answer is push it some more come on push it some more just just you you're just you're about have backslid so push it some more and we fail to recognize the problem area the mental aspect the physical aspect they've got a problem on the job they've come there a man's been cussing them all day long they're not backslid they've B been through so much turmoil and care and and dear Lord they come into the pull pit and I've been guilty maybe you hadn't but I've been guilty when we've brow beat them and we pushed them down and we've made worse problems out of the situation and we just tagged it all and said it's a spiritual problem you got and that's all it is to it and it could have been a lifestyle problem and there's some of us sitting in this building that have just got simple lifestyle problems it's not spirituality we run stay up half the night eat wrong and then end up stressed out confused I'm glad you're still with me brother Kilgore amen amen and and we end up and the first thing you know we end up with a guilt syndrome oh my God I got to get it done got to get it done hey my friend undoubtedly the Reason God brought us to Alexandria this year is the task that lies ahead of us is so great we cannot get it done if we are mentally oppressed if we are beat down not by the devil but by our own selves our own selves and D destroy and push and push and run and and I did that I did that that's what they told me to do in 1974 was in a Revival I begin to come apart but who do you tell who do you go to and say because somebody where do you go who do you tell next friend I want you to know there's some hurting people in this building today you listen to me I'm not too many years sh 50 years old but I'm not near the individual I should be because I pushed and pushed and pushed and nobody said wait take a minute nobody tried to pull me aside and heal me brother Barn set me down in 74 and he said ad you better listen to me he said I'm telling you to go home to the Quincy and quit preaching for a while W Barnes and he was at a meet the first day I did this he was there you know you know there and he he vouched he was sitting on the second row and he he said go home and sit down and get yourself together you wound yourself like an 8 day clock and he said the only way you're going to get Unwound is the way we used to do them you shake it and and and put it down a while and you let it slowly unwind if you wind it too tight at that moment you're going to break the spring inside he said go home sit down
be reconciled and I said oh man you don't realize but I remember in that time I was preaching Revival for brother Mike hudman and I would leave my little old trailer in Quincy Drive 184 miles one way I'd preach and when I got through preaching I'd run out of that church and I'd get in that car and I'd Drive 184 miles and I said dear God I'm bound to be backslid I'm bound the even have the Holy Ghost I'm struggling I'm hurting inside but they told me that you just keep going and that if you got a problem there's nothing wrong on the inside and I would get into that little old trailer and I'd close the door and I'd lean against the wall and I'd say oh God if you don't help me I don't know what I'm going to do am I preaching to preachers today am I preaching the preacher wives today right your office has become your your weeping chamber it's no longer an exciting place to study your mind is so broken but a vacation won't do it hold on and I'll get to that after a while somewhere you have to meet the problem right where it is and find out what the problem area is and solve it right there at that moment but then the guilt s syndrome starts in pardon me they'll get it all straightened out what I'm doing wrong tonight brother Arnold but it it finally I I began to question God I said God you don't understand hey hey you you don't understand God man I'm I'm racing everything I'm running everything and nights are coming and end of the worlds are coming and you don't understand I got to push more and do more and man the whole world depends on me and God stopped me the other day and he said hey when were you born and I said 1941 and he said the world was in trouble before you got here and it'll be in trouble if it tears long enough after you're gone all I'm asking you to do is Play Your Part on the time I have alloted for you to walk across the stage but I need you at your best I don't need a hull of a Preacher I don't need a broken mental confused individual I need somebody that's been heal somebody that's been restored somebody that's been touched somebody that's been been renewed and I think that's what God's saying to somebody today I'm sorry this is not what you expected out of me because this is not what I've ever done before but a year ago brother Kenneth Haney you were here a while ago a year ago I was preaching Sunday school convention in California that year it was in Stockton in the middle of a sermon God spoke to me and I said it publicly and I did not understand why God said go home shut down all of your preaching across the country close it down you're to be gone only two times for the next two year for the next year stay home I didn't understand that they invited me back to California for the same convention this past year one year later and when I got back there I did not notice any difference but preacher after preacher came to me and said there's something different about you I I don't know finally brother price the superintendent called me aside and he said brother Spears you've preached in my church and you've been to this district and preached I don't know how many conventions but he said something has happened to you he said he said somewhere there's been a healing that's been happening inside and he said you don't preach the way you used to preach but somehow you're reaching down and getting in the heart and pulling out something that go brother Pew you were in both of those conventions you will verify the fact oh I'm I'm not trying to be smart here today I'm not trying to be negative I'm just saying that somewhere we can push ourselves until we destroy the only vessel God has in this world to reach this generation is what you see here today if we don't find a balance to it but I'll tell you so I kept pushing I took a church in Long View
1977 greatest Church in all the world and I I match it with any of you brother the greatest Church Bar None I guess God put me there because he saw I didn't have sense enough to stop and slow down man went in there drag myself to that pull pit drag myself to the altar pray every for everything thing in the altar loved it and kept on and kept on but there is some things my friend I hate to say when you wear it out and tear it down there are some things God does not totally build up and restore that's why 80y old men don't act like 20 year old men it's God's process so so we launched into a building program 3 months from the close of our building program our bank defaulted in the midst of the building program begin to hear those little old Whispers well I know used dwell on it nobody knows what I'm talking about so I'll go on and so I began to take it on the inside because I didn't know where to go to get healed I didn't know where to go so I walked the floor I crawled on the floor for three years and I know I'm making myself vulnerable and may get totally criticized but that's what this whole conference has been anyway but for 3 years I never slept any brother Williams three years you say you're crazy well I just about was yeah slept 20 minutes and once I had the 20 minutes sleep then I would get up and then until my body would literally wear out and walk the floor and worry confusion and I'd crawl on the living room floor beat the Wall oh pull the carpet bear my face in the pillet and say God is there a preacher somewhere don't misjudge me I preached a few conventions in my life and I'm not being smart when I say it but I have to say that to say this but I went to enough of them and preached enough of them that when I left them sometime I was more were confused and when I when I went to him oo Mercy some of you don't stare at me that way please but but instead of somebody healing it was it was just more turmoil more confusion the first thing I found and I see it in some of you suddenly you be begin to back away suddenly when you come to a gathering you you do your best to just melt in the carpet you withdraw yourself from even your friends Merl Joan would call thank you Merl he'd say Ad everything all right but even your best a friend who do somewhere before God comes there has to be be an hon honesty that happens to our ranks and our movement that we can trust somebody and dear God we're almost as scared too because we're scared they'll tell and if one tells it and it gets to the third one it's going to get TW twisted up and confused but where is the man who can take me in his arm and say I know you're hurting but I'm going to be a physician and I'm going to bind up your w wounds and I'm going to pour the oil in your heart and I'm going to care for you and I'm going to love you and I'm going to see you restored I'm going to see you restored I'm not going to let you die I'm not going to let the pressure kill you I'm sorry brother Arnold for not calling you I've driven through your city in the last few years and knew that you were hurting and didn't even do it but I beg your apology today oh God and yet there are men we have lost in Years Gone by there are saints that we lost that it's not because they love sin it's not because they wanted to sin it's they were hurt and they didn't know where else to go
until the mind got so confused why don't some of you men get that Handi out of your pocket and say dear God he's talking to me that's where I'm living what don't some of you ladies that came to this conference and I sat on this platform while ago and I looked at some of you that right now your body your mind your life is totally wore out totally somebody said you're telling us not to do the will of God don't take anything and add to or take away from what I'm saying I'm just saying we can't do the will of God if we are a broken messed up vessel this is all he has to reach this generation is this this and so finally in 1984 I finished that church The Kill you came to my dedication and I saw you look at me and you looked at me and I knew you knew something one night I walked out of the church spener M you you were there I walked out of the church that night suddenly I looked at my wife and I said the light it just like something somebody turned the switch off went totally lifeless and dead she looked at me and said what are you talking about brother Spencer MCU later told me he said I I saw the moment it happened to you he said you suddenly changed I'm jumping over to another part but I've talked to doctors I've sat down and don't don't default me for talking to a doctor if you got a prescription in your pocket somewhere or your wife's on birth control pills amen don't don't fault me amen you trust God hallelujah I better come back to that later they understood but in in this when finally I reached the end of my road and I was totally broken then I begin to struggle and try to find everything I could to find what happened happen to me and how I could be healed not being smart but I've talked to many a doctor I've done research totally totally destroyed and a lot of it 99% of it had nothing to do with the Devil it had to be that I myself did what all of Hell could not do and that's load my system until break down its immune system and destroy the only thing that God has chosen to use in this world and this right up here is a little part of gray matter weighs a couple of pounds or so but inside this Cranium there is all my center of reasoning is here 100 billion cells here 100 billion and in studying this I found out that this 100 billion cells each one of those cells are connected to a thousand cells making
over a 100 trillion cells complex in the study I found out they say that the brain has more connecting points to it than all the computer systems in the world in operation right now part of your brain the size of a black ey PE has more connecting points than all the telephone system in the United States of America now in complexity of that your brain is just not setting up there but it is deciding what to do with all of your body and Life by the load of problems that you put on it and it responds by whatever you put into it we take on more worry and confusion and this becomes the very control center of our life each one of these cells putting out your brain makes over 10,000 different kinds of chemicals over 10,000 sometimes welcome to the science class seventh grade amen sometimes in in this system that is making 10,000 different different chemicals operating 100 trillion cells speeding faster than light my hand moving here somewhere it's not just something saying it but there are thousands of chemicals that react like a spark plug and a spark jumping and they react to something else and it reacts to something else and my whole system but load that system down put enough pressure on it and scientists say that you can destroy some of those chemicals they cannot be manufactured in any lab in the world and when some of them are depleted the body never makes them back again but somewhere pouth David said he maketh me to lie down I didn't want to you're not supposed to he said lay down because somewhere in that laying down there begin to be a healing happen here oh God I I don't leave don't leave me yet amen stay with me just a little while longer thank you sister Mangan amen it's just me and you now amen but suddenly all of these chemicals and they begin to pour into our system and then in this computer science center that we've got between our ears suddenly something begins to happen that doctors don't totally understand but this is what happens when stress builds up to where it can't handle the system can't handle it anymore it begins to Short Circuit it's not a spiritual problemo it's not a spiritual problem it's a physical it's an overload problem but here is what happens suddenly I'd stand in the pool pit at times and couldn't tell who was in the congregation couldn't call the name of my saint just stand there and look at them like an idiot nobody and then then you suddenly start feeling this oh must be indigestion what an indigestion it's something up here is notifying you of a short circuit system that's about to happen because of all the research I have done it says that there are more deaths attributed to pent up emotions that never got out than any other leading cause I got it right here amen and it said that anger will probably be the leading cause of death in the United States of America somebody said oh no I thought hard attack that's what I'm talking about somewhere this chemical process gets so mixed up until it overloads and it makes too much of certain chemicals it goes haywire and then it dumps the into an area that it's supposed to dump it into that gives you what's called the fight or flight
syndrome fight or flight just simply means that the way God Made You you walk through the woods and suddenly see a rattlesnake your entire system does not have to run through and say snake snake snake s n a k e let's see no no no the immediately your system goes into action all of your blood in your system leaves the skin and goes deep down down inside it's called fight or flight so that at that moment you can be injured deeper than you could at a moment of relaxation and not bleed to death God made you that way but you live your total life in a fire flight syndrome every problem becomes a crisis every situation becomes a despair live under stress run run run hurry hurry hurry Don't Eat Right amen get up early stay up late don't ever take time lifestyle becomes so complicated we got to run a million miles an hour we owe more than we can even rake in amen we're confused but we got to go that's a lifestyle it's a computer age you don't have to wait punch the button the answer's there but after a while this won't operate anymore and when it don't operate anymore you're in trouble you're in trouble hey I probably shouldn't say what I'm going to say but nobody has said it because it's too embarrassing to talk about but one of my preacher friend a couple that took me in and gave me some of my first revivals people that their relationship goes back to my wife's father's family prayed some of them through it wasn't too many months ago until life became so mixed up shouldn't say it it wasn't very far from where you live just up the road few miles lays everything out takes that gun puts it up there preacher's wife an official I'm not here to debate the point I'm here to say something happened somewhere I Won't Wait On Any Further you've got your opinion and I've got mine but I'm just simply saying what would have happened if somewhere somebody she could have opened up to and said I'm having some thoughts and ideas that I don't know how to handle I I I know you've been I've been taught you're an idiot if you thought these things and I was backslid but but but man I talk to me tell me something no we say how are you doing fine fine could it be that I walk by people today oh I'm not trying to be smart I'm trying to deliver something God gave me after four years of breaking my own health could it be that I'm looking at preachers today that are just only days away from a massive heart attack that you don't have to have am I looking at preachers and their wives who are right on the verge of having a stroke only because you've loaded your system so much it's getting quiet amen but oh God if I don't do anything else today if I get criticized by over half of you but if I reach somebody and God reaches out there and begins to start the healing process and the restoring process it will be worth it all that's all right I'll go back to Long View I'll do my thing over there I'm going to do my best to reach the world but I tell you what I don't really know too many people that are sitting down and are not concerned everybody here is concerned you wouldn't be here if you wasn't concerned we're not a lazy bunch of idiots we're not the ding bats we're not the ones who don't care we're here because we care but friend in that caring amen also at the same time let's stop long enough let's wait on him long enough until there comes a healing and that preacher and his wife that cries in the night that struggles alone and can't find a way out let's let's let's take time to wait on them I would hate it to be said y'all hear about brother
Spears died at 45 he did yeah just just one of those things died but I would want it does happen and it's happened in the ranks of Pentecost when we've had preachers that have had to retire before God was really through with them because they destroyed the only thing that God had to work with when the mind gets under so much pressure and all the chemical systems is are deleted and I've got to quit and I've got proof of a lot of this stuff here amen you know medical stuff and books on it and all this kind of junk some of it was in the Readers Digest and some of it Paul Harvey said and if it's in those two son it is next to the Bible amen you you can believe in it amen yes sir not all of it but here you know here's some of it and it just simply said that it is happening in healthy people James E Skinner had of the bayor College of Medicine in Houston says that it is happening in healthy people that suddenly they are dying because of the malfunction related to the lifestyle of the stressful situations they're in in setting in talking with some of these doctors I found out that when you load your system so much it has to have an outlet sir it's like you put too much water in a lake it's something's got to happen if it can't go over the spillway it's got to move the dam if it can't move the dam it'll tear up everything on the side God has made you where there are three major areas one is your mind one is your heart and one is what is Total Physical man and one of those three areas are going to suffer if you don't find a place to come aside and allow God to renew something in you Jesus said un to me me it has always been a very strong point I I have spoken in tongues I do quite often I've been baptized in jesus' name I preached that the new birth but Jesus said I'm going to give you something else besides just a tongue talking feeling he said my peace I'm going to give to you not as the world giveth but I'm going to give you my peace oh Hallelujah there is some place that somewhere we can stop long enough Glory come on I'm not talking about just talking in tongues I'm not talking about just a funny feeling I'm not talking about just running the building but somewhere there is a place in God that the peace of God that was in Jesus Christ that he lived in this world under all pressure but did not succumb to the pressure of his generation and his time and his hour he said hey buddy I've been through what you've been through I've been where you've been but I want to give you a promise I'm going to give you something more than just a running down the aisle I'm going to give you something more than just a funny feeling I'm going to take my spirit I'm going to take my pres but I'm going to take my joy I'm going to take my peace I'm going to take what makes me satisfied and I'm going to put it in you and when it comes in you it will be a peace that passes all understanding it will be something that will renew you again it will be something that heals you again he has chosen you for a work he will equip you with the power to do that work if if you don't destroy the only vessel that God has to use you must preserve that
vessel I'm almost through just give me a few more moments the last days Jesus said they shall run to and fro hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry run run run run but he said when they do their hearts will fail them because when I designed this system I made it where it's only going to take so much and that's it my wife's brother is a martian inport he has been for many many years he's managed some very large funeral homes recently a 24 year-old young man died in spport he was own Lake bisto fishing he stood up in the boat and when he stood up he fell over dead of course the family if I'm not mistaken his father was a physician and so his father and the family said we've got to have an autopsy something is wrong one of the leading Pathologists for the state of Louisiana talked to my brother-in-law and simply said this he said I performed the autopsy from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet there was not one thing wrong there was not a physical element anywhere he said but I'm going to tell you what what happened is somewhere up here he had lived at a young age of 24 under so much pressure and problem until the system that God had designed simply said we've run out of supplies so shut it down and the Brain starts what is called called the shutdown system and doctors have told me that sometimes it takes 2 weeks for the process to finish its route but once it decides that's it I wonder did God bring me and make me vulnerable for somebody to go off and talk about my break whatever you call I had I hope you don't but I hope that somewhere somebody in this congregation who is right at that point I did this the other day and and I wouldn't embarrass the individual but I finished this and at a certain place and one of the conferences brother ATT and I walked out in the hall and the preacher walked out there and he grabbed me he started to cry I hate he almost had to look over his shoulder and he said I want to tell you you saved my life you say and this is not a preacher that that that that's one of those kind of gets on all these whims and all this this guy's a very solid he's a rock in your District but he said you save me I hope I can save somebody today for if I had preached to you running and shouting today you would have stayed with me and and and that would have been great and boy when it when it was all shouting I turned to my buddy Merl and I said oh God that that's my style why can't I do that why why I have to do what I'm doing today hast thou not known hast thou not heard that the Everlasting God the Lord the creator of the ends of the Earth fth not neither is he weary and there is no searching of his understanding he don't have a problem he giveth power to the faint oh nobody wanted to identify with the faint so I'll go oh maybe we're past and to them that have no might he increases their strength Hallelujah I like to put that crazy thing over amen
hallelujah for the young men shall faint and be weary and the young men shall utterly fall but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength shall renew their strength shall renew their strength go ahead remain standing I'm I'm basically through I do this at Long View amen and an hour later then they sit down Hallelujah but I want today amen why he said it's going to happen it's going to happen if something doesn't happen young men's going to faint they're going to become weary but they that wait upon the Lord this is a generation that can't wait for a miracle we want it right now but there are some healing processes in the body that it takes longer than 30 seconds sometime for it to take care of but oh preacher don't don't despair today God is going to begin to somehow plug you in to that Supply system that only Heaven has and when it's all over with when you come aside a while when you change it a while when you get some relief for a while then then then then you're going to mount up with wings as he goes destined to do a work headed for the thr called of almighty God and at that time after they're renewed they shall not be weary and they shall walk and not fade amen and they shall not fall and they shall not fail hallelu Hallelujah Glory I can't prove what I'm going to say go ahead brother jar come here Belinda this is my oldest baby I have two babies this one and my youngest I'm going to say something and she don't even know what I'm going to say she's never heard me say this but when I walk through my roughest Valley she is a total reflection of me I see myself in her so much and I could not understand it then but I watched her go through her roughest times of life also because they are a reflection m of what we are and I watched her struggle and I watched I almost lost her but until this week I never saw baby it wasn't really you it was Daddy the greatest Revival the world will ever have lies within our doors and it's our kids if the levitical priesthood had have lost their sons there would have been no priesthood I'm looking at a bunch of mothers and daddies today that wish you could put your arm around your your because you've got a child that reflects you and oh God I I I don't care I I I may I may do it wrong but I ain't going to lose mine to hell I may have to go a thousand miles out of the way I may do correction different I I don't know but I'm not throwing them aside because they're a reflection of what I'm going through with their struggles and trials I'm sorry baby if I embarrass you didn't mean to amen but I want somebody to go
back home and I want you to get your life and I won't let God to renew you because I want that son to be saved I want that daughter to be saved they're struggling because you're struggling they're losing it because you're losing it they're reflection of you and if you die they're going to die and if you don't get a hold of it and you don't get some help and you don't get some relief they're going to lose it and when we lose them we lose it all oh God renew that's it Daddy go to your son my God if I had amen is my other baby here hallelujah my god parents if we lose them we lose it all my peace
Scripture references as spoken: Romans 12:1-2; Romans 8:35; Romans 8:38-39; Jeremiah 8:20-22; Isaiah 40:28-31.