The Fruit Of Brokenness

God. Thank you, brother Mang. Thank you, wonderful people of God, giving honor to all of our officials, the committee that chose the speakers. I feel honored that you would include me. I hope I can be a blessing. I want to be a blessing. We're not here today to make any complaints. Man, I'm going to tell you, I don't even have enough time to do all I want to do for Jesus today, just to love him and magnify him. Amen. So, before we even know what he's going to do, I want to thank him in advance because I know he's going to do something. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Turning with me today in your Bibles to the book of Isaiah, the 57th chapter, the 15th verse. And when they asked me to deal with some things in the message today, I duplicated a a recent article after the death of our daughter daughter Lorna. It'll be in the foyer. Also, a list of things that might help you in the air of brokenness. It'll be in the foyer in between the sessions. And I begin to think today of all the different things that we might like to enroll in in life. Possibly some of the things that some of you are experiencing here today would not be one of your electives. I'm preaching today for the next few minutes to people that have lost your spouse. Either she left you or he left you. Whatever the case, some of you have lost a child this year. Some of you lost your spouse in death this year. Some of you came here and you've searchingly looked at everybody around about you wondering why you cannot enjoy some of the things that you would like to enjoy. But your mind is filled today with the grief of church difficulties, financial pressures, broken relationships, disappointments. If we could only see the wounds in the body of Christ today, we would all break forth with tears. So none of us would voluntarily enroll in a class on brokenness. But the Bible tells us in the 15th verse of the 57th chapter. For thus saith the the high and lofty one that inhabitth eternity, whose name is holy, I dwell in the holy place with him that is of a contrite. Let's say contrite. Contrite. And humble. Let's say humble. Humble. Humble spirit to revive the spirit of the humble. And to revive the heart of the contrite ones. So these are things that we will address today from different perspectives. And the subject of my message so that you will never forget these moments is the fruit of brokenness. There's something good coming about through faithfulness. Get a hold of the one next to you. They may be experiencing some of these things. The catalog would not permit us to take the time to listen, but they just might be there. They may need your strength in the next hour. Father, we love you today. We want the Holy Ghost to move throughout this whole body. We want you to move and bless. Touch each and every life. Touch each and every life. We ask you in Jesus matchless name. Do that Lord. Do that Lord. Not for my sake but for your sake and for the sake of your people. For the sake of your people Lord. We ask you Lord Jesus to do it in your wonderful name. Amen. Now clap your hands unto the Lord. Amen. Amen. You may be seated. As I looked at these young men across the front of this building, it's kind of like new converts in church. If we unloaded everything on them at the initial few weeks of their relationship with God, we would literally destroy them because things have to be opened slowly. It seems at times. Even Jesus as the God man, he did not know all the things in his humanity as he lay there in that stable that night. I'm going to tell you, he didn't know all the things in his humanity. But the valve of understanding and the valve of revelation would slowly be opened until the crescendo of all the sins of the whole wide world converged upon his humanity. But oh, I'm here to tell you today that he remained faithful and you're the fruit of his faithfulness. Praise the name of the Lord. And I thought all these young men perhaps their ideas of the ministry are so different. Maybe it's another nice car.

Maybe it's a nice home. Maybe it's a nice church. And that's all wonderful and good, but oh, you might as well get yourself prepared. There's some things up the road. There'll be times that you'll have to go to the pulpit choking back tears and put a pasted smile on that face for the sake of the people because God has to have you and I to be faithful in our circumstances. Isn't it strange that the ones that we most emulate in life as far as the ministry and even the Christian endeavor is Jesus of course and the Bible speaks of him as you know made of himself no reputation. He needed no advanced press release about his circumstances. The Bible told us all about that. And yet we find him being so brutally treated. And I learned some things from just a simple study of his life that when you seek authority, you become a dangerous individual in this life. But when you seek responsibility, you can be trusted. That's your friend. Somebody will take the responsibility. This is what Sister Man was speaking about today. When we will fill the gap of responsibility in prayer and in commitment to God, we are maintaining some fruit for the harvest. And in the Apostle Paul, I suppose that possibly one of the things that we ignore most about him is he qualified himself in some very strange ways. The Bible says of him, you know, he suffered the loss of all things. I would have to tell you that it goes way back in life. It just happens to be that way. All of us, the story of our life cannot be encapsulled into just a few paragraphs for a press release. Pain, hurt, disappointment, and the loss in some cases of all things. I remember when I lost a business. And I'm telling you, my physical body crave things at the time. I didn't know where my meals were coming from. Oh, you can be flying high one day, name in the paper, lauded in the community, and just something can happen. It can happen, and you don't have to do something wrong for it to happen, but then it all goes. And what you have when it's all said and done is just you and Jesus Christ. I read lately a statement by a well-known person said, "The way you can tell how much an individual is worth is to see what they would have if they lost everything they owned." And that would be really what their net worth was. But I'm going to tell you here today, you may have come with a used suit with shoes that are not as well as the one next to you in a car a little older than somebody else, but I'm going to tell you, you're worth just as much to Jesus Christ as anybody that parked in the parking lot here today. Hallelujah. Humble, contrite. This is something that you just simply don't conjure up. This all is related to a touch of God that we Pentecostals often refer to as the anointing. And there are several very closely associated terms and words that are in the scripture. A while back, I began to notice that basically when you preach to people, and those of you that are pastors here today, you've preached your best messages, you've just given yourself to prayer, and you have done all the right things. And yet, the word of God seems to bounce off of certain people's heads like a ball against a wall. And the reason being, of course, is that it is only by the spirit of meekness that we can receive the engrafted word of God, the best sermons, the best choir songs, everything. You just can't get it through there until that person has a spirit of meekness and they can receive the power of God. The spirit can do its work. When there's a spirit of meekness, that's when the word takes effect. It's only through the spirit of meekness. Otherwise, the word of God will not be effective. Some things do happen in our life that we will never understand. There's some things that if I spent my time trying to figure out why, it would only deter me in keeping me from doing the things that I know to do today. I can't go back to that road that leads the other way. But I tell you what I can do every day. I can touch God. I can touch God. I can touch God. I can touch people. I can touch something that will impact my world. I can busy myself with the things that I do have some control over. There is a fruit of brokenness. I would have to admit to you that many years ago at the time of the loss of business, there was such humiliation. I say humiliation. But oh to replace those feelings of loss, there was a an anointing like I had never felt in all my life. Because you see, I realized that every bean that I ate, everything that I had, every every drop of water from the spot, the bed that I slept in, all of those things

were were vital. And oh, hallelujah, I didn't have any of those things to boast of. But I'm going to tell you, I never lost my God. He was faithful. He was with me all the way. I'm going to tell you, if you've lost your spouse today, if you've lost a mate this past year, whatever your disappointments are, I want to tell you today, hang in there. The power of God is able to see you through. Let's praise the Lord together. Brokenness is the soul like the system that's empty of its own confidence and resources. Brokenness is like the soul that shipwrecked upon God. Have you ever found yourself just crashed and when you opened up your eyes, there was somebody that loved you still? Oh, hallelujah. I'm going to tell you, God will allow your ship to just hit the ragged edges of life once in a while so that we can cry out and acknowledge our need for him. I'm going to tell you, there is a necessity of need. And the plague of the modern-day Pentecostal is affluence. It's the things that we have control over. But I'm going to tell you that possibly the best thing that could happen if something would happen to all of us that would find ourselves in ultimate desires only for Christ Jesus, his power, his provision. Brokenness is like the sheep that's broken through its wanderings and then finds itself lying at the merciful feet of the shepherd of souls. Brokenness is the soul like the animal in Daniel's vision that's bereft of all of its former powers and all of its boastful might and now finds itself submissive before almighty God. So the term brokenhearted or broken in heart are not mentioned in scripture very often but the concept is clearly demonstrated to all of us contrite humble poor. This is not talking about the lack of funds. It's the attitude that says, "Oh Lord, I just got to have you, Lord. I just got to have you. I I just have to have you, Lord. I've got to have you." That poor in spirit, the idea. Hallelujah. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Meekness is not weakness. It's having strength that's harnessed that gives you the power of going to your knees and acknowledging Almighty God, poor in spirit, in need of spiritual things. We can be flying so high, banking money more than ever, preaching greater sermons than we ever preached, planning on bigger and better things than we should. And then something uninvited happens. the doctor calls or the policeman knocks at the door or there's a piercing pain that carves its way across their chest. You find yourself looking up into the nostrils of someone in the emergency room and then you begin to listen to the beep of the monitor. You can go through church splits. You can go through friendships that become fractured. You can go through the pain of watching children forsake the truth. You can go through the pain of watching a spouse. It goes their way. I'm going to tell you, it doesn't matter what that chain of events represent you in your life. It just seems that there are things that will happen. They are going to be there. You might as well plan on it. It happened to Jesus. It happened to Paul. It happened to Peter. Look at all the Bible characters. And I begin to search your faces last night in the spirit, looking at those of you that I know that are here that have suffered in the past year or two. I don't know anybody that's going to do anything for God but what you could add to their little portfolio. They suffered. They suffered. They had pain. They had sorrow. They experienced disappointments. But oh, I begin to think even lately when I begin to think that God in his word said that he's touched by the feeling of my infirmities. I have cried over the loss of my daughter. But my God, in his own way, he has wept over her more than I'll ever weep over her because he's a God that is touched by the feeling. Everything that touches you touches him. Oh, hallelujah. But there's a fruit that's going to follow your brokenness. Hang in there. Oh, let's love the Lord a moment here. Do you remember the old song? I've seen the lightning flashing. I've heard thunder roll. I've felt sin breakers dashing trying to conquer my soul. And I heard the voice of my savior telling me still to fight on. He

promised never to leave me. Never to leave me alone. No, never alone. Oh no, never alone. He promised never to leave me. never to leave me alone. Let's magnify the Lord. Let's magnify the Lord. Hold on. Stay faithful. Be true. Hang in there. We're almost home. Hallelujah. Glory to God. I've been on the phone even since being here with one of my home missionaries called me. Call me before I left to come here crying. Told me three families left this week. Pastor, he was so sick in bed with the flu. Got home the other night from the prayer at your house, but I'm hanging this a phone call on my recorder home. Pastor, I lost another family today. Help me pray, would you? I called and talked to him on the phone. Oh, I'm going to tell you, the power of Christ can go through phone lines. It can go behind a a stamp that's been licked and placed on a letter. It can go by angels delivery. Whatever it takes, hold on and help somebody else to hold on. When you begin to track life, it's interesting. I know a number of years ago when I was executive preser and I was conducting a business session in up in Winnipeg and I remember going back to the hotel room to get a little rest when I got in that room, knock on the door. I'd seen one of the ministers out in the audience I knew was from that district and opened the door. This precious man of God was standing there. He said, "Brother Gisham just came over here, drove over. I knew he was from a different area. Snow was deep, banked around the door of the hotel there, maybe 3 or 4 feet high. He was standing my room door there crying." I said, "Don't be ashamed of those tears. They're worth a million dollars to you." I said, "Step inside here." I put my arm over on his shoulder. I said, "Come on and be seated here on the couch. Let's talk a little bit." And I I said, "Don't feel embarrassed by those tears." I said, "Man, they're worth millions of dollars." And he said, "Do you remember that message you preached in 1975 in medicine hat?" I said, "Oh, yes." About the eagle. I said, "Yes." He said, "Man, you'll never know, brother Gisham, how many times I' i've replayed that and I thought about it." He said, "It put me on the hump." And he said, "I thought, I've got to drive over here just to say thank you. I've got to drive over here just to say thank you." How many times have I gone to meetings just like this? Nobody knew what was going on on the inside of me. But oh, somebody preached me up out of the ditch. Somebody preached me out of my own designs. Somebody preached me up in the presence of God. I came away excited to do something for God. Hallelujah. I'm going to tell you, hang on there. There's a fruit that's going beyond what you can see now through your faithfulness. God will take that brokenness of that experience and turn it into something powerful and good. You can be seated. Another minister was in the room with me and those tears made him a little uncomfortable. I've been around several preachers that tears make them uncomfortable. They don't want to see none of that ter business. That elementary stuff, you know, you listen to me today. If there's any tears come anywhere near you, don't get your handkerchief too quick. Savor those tears. There's salt in those tears. Praise the Lord. Don't lick them away. Reprocess them. Praise the Lord. Let them go back into the porest here. Hang on. Because that's the thing that God perhaps needs to get you off of a high horse and make you real. You'll have to be real somewhere along the line. Why not try now? Hallelujah. Hallelujah. When we got ready to go out to eat that day, I'll never forget, we went out to go out the front door of the hotel and there was an old beat up, rusted out car

out in the middle of the street. And there was two teenage girls in a and a woman out there pushing that old rusted out, beat up car. And I looked and I noticed it was my friends that had driven all that way from this neighboring district just to come over and thank me for a message from 1975. Oh, hallelujah. Hallelujah. Oh, glory to goes to God. You are impacting someone's life. Your faithfulness is inspiring someone. Your ministry is blessing people that you'll never know. Hang in there. There's a fruit to that brokenness. That man might have an edge on you and I today because he realized that he's going to have to have faith even to get home. But when we track our life, often times we get our defeats and our victories all mixed up. I've watched people get a raise on their job and immediately their spirituality took a nose dive. They got all puffed up about their increases and they begin to feel they had an edge on everybody everywhere. Nothing wrong with education, but when you begin to be impressed by yourself, you got major problems. When I had the engineering company, I interviewed engineers that couldn't even fill out an application properly. I thought I wouldn't want to trust any great design of a building or anything to them because they can't even spell engineer hardly. I'm going to tell you, you might not be able to spell out everything that you're going through, but I'm going to tell you one thing. Go back to 01 and start off from square that you started in the beginning. You started with Jesus. Get a fresh anointing from Jesus. Get a fresh revelation of Jesus. Get a fresh understanding of Jesus. And look at life the way it really is. It's just one day at a time. Let's do something today for Jesus. Oh, I've had some of the bitter. How many have had some of the bitter? How many have had some of the sweet, too? Let's say, "Lord, I thank you for the sweet." How would you know something was sweet if you didn't know something was bitter? Some things that I've experienced that were hurtful were of my own making. I caused them. Some things that I've had come my way, I can't figure out how I deserve them. But I do know one thing. Some things while it doesn't have an obvious reason, there is something about each situation that drives me to my knees. And if there's any old dead things in the stream of my life, any old rags and slop and junk and tin cans and all of that, boy, I'm going to tell you, the bulldozer comes out and the dredging crane comes out and scoops out all the slop and all the mess, all the bad attitudes, all the big question mark that's put a dam in my spiritual experience. And when it's all dredged out, when it's all clean, the stream flows again, pure and squeezed, powerful, and provision from God. That's the fruit, brokenness. If the stream through a city becomes clogged by trash and debris, they don't say, "Well, I guess we won't have a river anymore. Just guess we won't have one." No, they say we'll have one, but we're going to redirect the channel here a little bit till we can get some things here cleared out. And then it may inconvenience you for a little while, but before long, they got a nice, beautiful channel dug there. They tear down all the barriers. They put back all the detour signs and they put the road sign up straight ahead. I'm going to tell you, with everything that happens, it may clog up the stream of your life. It may snag your circumstances, but you have confidence in the stream that flows from somewhere other than your own making. And God will bring fresh, clear, pure water to your life. Said it will flow again. Let's say it will flow again. And then when we have these things happen, well-meaning people can fog your brain. They'll say, "God did this to prove you." No. No. Don't play God. God didn't take my daughter to see if I had faith. He didn't allow Job to be tested to see if Job could make it. God knew Job could make it. Job didn't know whether he could make it. But God knew Job could make it. Hallelujah. I'm going to tell you what. And God tells us in his word, there were times when Job said, "I don't know where you are. I'd like to find you." But there was never a time that God was going around say, "I wish I could find Job." God knows where you are in every one of your situations. He knows where you are right now in your church problem. He knows where you are in your children's problem. He knows where we are in our marriages. He knows where we are. Just be faithful and fruit will follow. Love the Lord. You may be seated.

Brother Hail, you remember the meeting the last few some months ago, flying home with Greg, coming home to be with us a few days, been under conviction, been away from God for 15 years. I left a meeting in Denver, flew back home, met Greg at the airport, and he got off the plane, and he'd been backsliding all these years. And he at the airport said, "Daddy, I'm hungry. I'm tired and I'm under conviction." He was making his way. He'd already told Cheryl and Ronnie said, "I'm going back to Detroit. It would be nothing more than fair and right if I'd go home and get right with God there. That's where I left God. I'm going to go back there and start there." Hallelujah. And I'm going to tell you, during that night, I had no idea that I'd get the the phone call that mom would pass away during the night. in my little mind, my little brain, I couldn't reason, well, how's this all going to fit together? Greg's going to get back to God tomorrow and mom's died and up the rest of the night trying to find plan the funeral, trying to make flight arrangement, try to get a hold of brother Williams to preach the funeral and all that. And here I am, and I'm in my little brain, I was thinking, God, how you going to put all this thing together? I'm going to tell you, if God started it, he knows how to finish it. He will do what needs to be done. Hallelujah. got to church that morning, still my mind was overpowered. I wasn't sorrowful necessarily about mother's death. I was happy that she'd finished so well. I hope to God I've envied her a few times in the past year. I went to God I was already over there. I've entertained the ideas of death more than I have all my life because there's so much of me already over there. had a guest planned to preach that morning and Jamie Tharp came by. Didn't even know much about what was going on. He was visiting in the city. Asked him to come and sing or say something. He said, "I've been suburban for your family this week, Brother Gisham." Said, "My dad told me I wouldn't take it wrong if I just showed up there and offered to be a help in some way." Cuz he had no way of knowing mom's going to die. He had no way of knowing Greg's going to be there that morning cuz I' just been in prayer. Sister Manion, that's what happens when people pray. Hallelujah. God begins to put it all together. He gets the puzzles pieces arranged. And that morning when we got ready, I had the preacher ready. His wife was already standing there ready to sing. And Jamie began to talk to the Lord. And here the Lord began to move. And Greg seated back there. The the altar began to fill up. And he turned and he said, "Mother, would you take me to the altar?" A 37y old man. He said, "Mother, would you take me to the altar?" I'm going to tell you. He came down to that altar and the Lord refilled him with the baptism of the Holy Ghost. our heart, the pain of our heart, the eb and the flow of life, the e and the flow of life. Things come in, things go out, tide rushes in, tide goes out, but oh, the Lord God remains faithful. He is faithful, devil, you didn't get him. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. You can be seated. Got a victory. Then Laura, who had survived the stroke 8 years ago, nearly died during the time of her stroke. Marriage broke up for a period of time. See, some men can't handle their own wife's weakness or sickness. This is not an indictment against anybody. It's just the way we are about life. She survived the stroke and went on and and did well for a while. Then four years ago, she survived breast cancer. My God in heaven. They operated on one lump in the breast and it was benign and didn't even recognize there was another lump behind that lump that was malignant. So when they operated again because she still felt the the place in the breast that there was something there. It was malignant. So she took all the treatments, the chemo and the radiation. And oh, we gathered, we prayed, we made trip after trip. I'm going to tell you some things will happen in life that will deplete you physically, spiritually, emotionally. You'll feel like there's no more substance to you than a sponge. But oh, you may feel like a sponge. But God doesn't feel like a sponge. He is still stable. He is still strong. He is still mighty. But through your brokenness, he can demonstrate his strength in ways that he would never be able to otherwise. Let's love the Lord. Then in the early part of the year, she began to be plagued with a reoccurrence of what seemed to be the other. We all naturally were filled with a great deal of that word that we don't like to use, but it's there. Fear. How many have ever been afraid? David didn't say, "I will never be afraid." But he said, "What time I am afraid? What time I am afraid?

I'm going to trust you, Lord. You know these tears on this pillow. You know what I've stood for, Lord. You know how I believe in you. But Lord, I'm shaking. I'm quaking. But oh God, I'm going to put my trust where it's always been, right in you, even though I'm fearful. Six to eight trips back and forth for different surgeries and different tests and so forth and so on. And then we thought, "Oh, God." Every week or two, it seemed like back again for another trip back again for another crisis. And then in the middle of all of that, one of my assistants, a a fine stalwart young man of only 31 years of age, took sick and was put in the hospital. and he was only there 13 days until he died of cancer. But oh, what a dramatic life he had for God. One of the most focused people I've ever known in my life. Wrote things for the symposium. He had a revelation of the oneness of God. I'm going to tell you would have been a bad thing if he'd have interviewed the district board instead of them interviewing him on the revelation of Jesus Christ. He gave himself to study. I can't figure out why God took Steven. I can't figure out why God took Charles Wilson, but it's God's business. And one night laying there at that hospital, a stomach bloated and high up there above the courage, he would say, "Oh, I'm nothing. He's everything." And then the day he was dying, my wife and I were there at the hospital and I had a wedding to do at 11:00 and it was 20 minutes till 11. I said, "I'll have to go on the church, try to keep the people from knowing to make the wedding happy." left her there with another one of our assistants and before I would get back he would be gone on to meet the Lord. I went to the wedding choking back tears tried to dignify a beautiful occasion rushed back to the hospital stayed with the family there with the corpse in the room and prayed and talked about God rushed over to the wedding reception went home that night and got back to the family's home to plan a ceremony. Young man, that's the ministry. It's not all behind the pulpit. You'll be reminded today the shallowest part of it all is this right here. It's what you do all week long. It's the hurts that you endure. It's the pain that you endure. But through your faithfulness, you will possess your own souls. Through your patience, possess ye your souls. Oh, what a powerful young man. I couldn't figure it out. Back to the scenario with Lord again, right in the middle of it all. the time of the youth convention when it came over there to Arkansas went by Laura's home to spend a couple days she was so weak because earlier in the year she had been operated on again you know for the cancer and they removed a portion of her lung and they declared her free of cancer benign 17 of us there be to shout and rejoice out in the hallway at the hospital do I believe she was healed yes I believe she was healed do I question God no I don't question God knows everything best and I dare not question him. Hallelujah. And so much that we rule in this basket or that basket. The will of God, not the will of God. This was God. This was the devil. I don't know how much of all this is the devil sometime or how much of it is God. But I still got my compass and it's headed for the things of God. I can focus on the word. I can be faithful. That's the one thing I can do. But she told me, she said, "Daddy, I think I'm dying. I think I'm dying." Begin to run some more tests because they'd treated her with steroids, and the steroids began to have a very negative effect on her body. We didn't know what all was going on in the body, but they were seemingly keeping some things from us, and they didn't want to admit some things. And so, in the rush of it all, we got back home. We got ready to go, you know, you know, on some other things that we had to do. And then we hear word that Greg's in the hospital in Nashville in a coma. You get to the point that you're almost afraid to answer the phone with a co, but I'm going to tell you, there's still a line that reaches to the glory world. There's still somebody that hears and knows and sees everything. Is this God punishing somebody? Don't ever get in the God business. We got one. That's enough. I just have one thing I can do and I can be faithful. I can go to church. I can smile. I can preach. I can pray. I can love the Lord. Oh, hallelujah. I'm telling you today, God wants to help every one of you here today. Whatever you're going through, wave your hand like brother Manga does. Oh, hallelujah. Hallelujah. You can be seated again.

Hallelujah. We took off. Crumbling, shivering, weak. Sher Ron let asleep almost all night long before they called us. I jumped up, grabbed my bag, packed it quickly, and was so rattled I didn't even remember I left my bag in the bedroom floor. We flew out of there to Nashville and for a few days begin to see Greg simulate teetering and tottering wondering how it's all going to be and how it's all going to work out. But I'm going to tell you, while we don't know how to read all the X-rays, we don't know how to discern or interpret all the reports, God's still on the throne. Hallelujah. And if he isn't healed, God will still be God. And if he is healed, God will still be God. You got to realize God's going to be God when all of this thing wraps up. And we don't want to get in the business of judging his his dealings. life was set in motion. As someone said years ago, God created his word and has been sitting back watching his word work for him ever since. He don't just get up and say, "Well, I see who ought kill today." Or he don't say, "I think I'll forgive six people today while I'm in a good mood." No. Aren't you glad that God's not that way? How many of you can report today that God has dealt very fairly with you? Let's say, "God's been good." God's been good. Let's say, "God's been good." God's been good. And while we were on our way there to Nashville, Lorna had been put back in the hospital the day before. I rushed down there to to Nashville, stayed there a few days, and then we were at Nashville. We got the call. While we were there, Ron and Cheryl came to the motel at the hospital, the lodge at the hospital, knocked on the door in the middle of the night. My god, what's that? Middle of the night up the hallway. Here's my son down in Claremore, Oklahoma. Was my daughter in the hospital, Ronnie and Cheryl and Austin, standing at the door afraid for us really. They said, "Don't be scared. It's not Lorna. It's not Greg, but they found your brother dead in his van in Oklahoma." My god. We took off. All I had was the clothes that I had on. And I rushed by Walmart, got me a change of slacks and went to the cleaners and put the one suit there for them to clean that for me to come back. Rushed to the hospital in Claremore, Oklahoma to see my daughter in the hospital. Rushed back to theos to the funeral home over in Tulsa to meet with the family to plan the funeral. And then the funeral went amazingly well. And God touched a lot of people. He gave me enough anointing to preach again about the mercy and the grace of God. I felt the Holy Ghost. I felt the release of the spirit. I felt the strength of almighty God. Oh, hallelujah. He never fails. He never fails. He never fails. He never fails. Rushed to the burial, hastened back to the hospital in Claremore, Oklahoma. The doctors came in, stood at the end of the bed, four or five of them. I forget just how long. Lorna said, "I want the real prognosis. I want to know where I stand. How am I doing? What's going to happen?" They all looked at one another before they responded. Then they told her, "Lord, it doesn't look good. We've sampled these tumors. One of them, there were five tumors that had popped out just in a matter of about two weeks all over her body. They sampled one of them and said, "No more treatment, no more chemo, no more radiation. There's no hope. It's mushrooming." And for 3 days, we watched that little body lose what oxygen it needed so bad to breathe. And through the mask, she would look at me and she'd say, "Daddy, daddy, I want to live. Daddy, I want to live. Daddy, why is this happening to me? I want to go shopping. I want to go out to eat." Stroking the hand of her husband beside the bed, really feeling, searching, you know, looking at her daughter's fingers and and just literally handling those fingers and looking at us. And we knew all the well. Darren was home. One of my main strengths in the Lord. Now, my son, come here, Greg. Darren, just a minute. Come here, Darren. My God. He He said, "Dad, I got to keep the church fasting while you're gone. You got to keep praying, Dad." I said, "Son, if you're going to see her alive, you better get here in a hurry." When he came, he fell as it were in the floor through the grief and being stricken by the sight that he saw. And we walked up the hallway sobbing. And he said, "Dad, we've got to be strong. We've got to be strong. We're leaders. Dad, we got to be strong. Oh, I'm going to tell you, you will find much of your strength in your own family. You'll find strength in your children. Let them grow in the Lord. Show them you're going to be faithful. Show them you're show them you're going to be faithful. If you have to tell them something, tell them something that's got some hope attached to it, but don't hide the facts from them. Tell them it's going to be God when it's wrapped up. I told my family when we lost the business years and years and years ago, if we end up in a sleeping room, we're still going

to serve Jesus. Hallelujah. This is a matter of a journey. Let's love the Lord. When she died, David told me, he said, I said, "Who do you want to preach the funeral, David?" He said, "I think you know." He said, "I wouldn't have it any other way if you think you can." He said, "I want a move of God, too. I want a move of God." David and Lorna hadn't been in one of our churches for about 15 years. But see, God's still God. We don't have it all sorted out exactly yet. We don't know. It'll surprise a lot of us who are there when we get before the Lord. But since he's the Lord, let's work with what he gives us to work with and keep a smile of dignity upon our face and show that we have confidence in God. So, we begin to put it together. Where are you, Brother Townsley? Where are you here? Brother Townsley, where are you? He came to the hospital there. I asked him to come over to my granddaughters and he I said, "Would you pray for my granddaughters?" I will never forget the prayer he prayed in that little little chapel room. He put his arms around [name redacted] and [name redacted] [name redacted] and [name redacted] and [name redacted]. He said, "Lord, send a friendly angel to the sight of these girls. Send a friendly angel." I'll never forget the words of that prayer. I thought, God, send me one, too. Send me one, too. Send a friendly angel to my side. How many of you today are experiencing some pain and hurt? You don't know why or where or what, but oh, I'm going to pray that before we go here to from this place today that God will send a friendly angel to you. Oh, hallelujah. Let us magnify the Lord. And at the funeral there was every flavor and variation of different ideas and beliefs as you could imagine. But one thing through all the years of working in a church with a pastor that believed holiness so very strong that maybe even people of his day thought he was was too strong. But those old-timers were so convinced there was a hell and they were so convinced there was a heaven. They thought that hell was something that had to be shunned. So they preached it hard because they were convinced there was a hell. And they preached heaven so great that people could see the distinction between the two. And they were persuaded that they wanted to go the other way. I think we live in a day today that hell's not all that bad and heaven's not all that good. And that's what's wrong with much of our churches today. We've got to get back to where we believe that hell is still hell and heaven's still heaven. that funeral. Oh, there was people that we might tag with these different brands or labels and whatever, but one thing that drew them all there, and I say this not to boast on my family or me, but I'm going to tell you, I found a long time ago, we better never get to treating people wrong. I don't care what they are or what they represent. They will come to love. It's just like a little puppy. If you put something out, that puppy will come back there. And people know where love can be found. And people know where understanding will be demonstrated. And people know where they can get forgiveness if they need forgiveness. They will come back to the ones that have shown them love. And this is why we as ministers of reconciliation, ministers of the gospel, have always got to stand out as somebody that loves people, loves the truth, and loves it all. So we began to deal with all this that day. I'm going to tell you the funeral lasted three hours. Brother Williams was there. Even on a short notice, some 34 preachers came in there and brought their support and brought their love and understanding. One night at the motel, 37 faxed messages came in in one hour's time. phone calls, offerings being sent special delivery to the motel to pay for the five or six, seven suites we had for family members that we were so thankful that people of God in the organization, out of the organization, Sunday, you might say failed the Lord and made a mess of their life. But I'm going to tell you when their call came in and they said, "I love you. I'm praying for you." I'm going to tell you, it didn't matter what their card was. It didn't matter what they had done. I love them. Jesus Christ loved them. I'm going to tell you, if we can learn to treat people properly at a funeral or at a wedding, what in the world's wrong with

us? We who have the message of reconciliation can play softly. I'm going to wrap this up in just a minute. That same song. Few days after it all happened, we got back home. Joe Parker called me. His son was taken about a year ago or so. He could understand where I was coming from. He said, "Brother Gisham, I love you." Boy, those words were like melodies. When you're alone, you can do so many things wrong when you feel alone. You can make the wrong decisions when you feel alone. You can make the wrong choices and you can perceive the wrong things. Because when darkness surrounds us, it's so easy to think that people don't love you. I wonder today even of all the ministers who have departed and their wives of course are not in the directory in the ministry directory. We don't even know how to write them unless we know a family member. So we can pray. I thought my god we ought to have a network of those who have lost children or lost loved ones. How many of you lost a child in the last 5 years? Wave your hand there. Any of you that have lost a child in the past 5 years, wave your hand there. Wave them there. How many know that hurts the words that you spoken to me over the phone, the phone calls, brother Mang and comfort from the our general superintendent, from our general secretary and all these people. Brother Tenny told me, "Well, Charles," he said, "I don't know that I have a word from the Lord for you, but I just tell you like I told a pastor late, he said, just do what you've been telling your people to do. Just obey your own preaching. Brother Ocean told Brother Odum, he said, "Brother Odm, your healing will come to you through your own ministry as you keep being a vessel, touching people's lives, crying with them, praying with them, late night visits, early morning prayer on your knees, letters of comfort, cards that were carefully selected for the occasion, your ministry, those things that keep the flow through your life. In the process, as you handle it, it will heal you. But Joe said, brother Gisham, he said, I don't know all the details about [name redacted], but he said, you know, it hurts so bad. He said, you know, when Mark was out here, Mark came to encourage and Wilma was out in the car crying in the car and she said, "My baby's out there in that cold ground. Joe was trying to persuade her out of the car and he began to cry and then he got in the car and Mark went out the car and tried to persuade both of them out of the car." And then Mark ended up getting in the car, all of them crying together. Isn't it good to have somebody to cry with? Isn't it good to have somebody to cry with? But he said, "You know, Brother Gisham, I talked about [name redacted] so much. I talked about him continuously." And he said, "It seemed to occur to me that people were getting just a little tired of hearing me talk about [name redacted]." And he said, "It seemed like I felt if I kept talking about [name redacted] that [name redacted] in some way would have his life extended through my talking about him." He said, "One day the Lord spoke to me and said, Joe, that's what I want you to do about me. I want you to talk about me." What healing came through those words. What healing came through those words. How many of you are thankful for a God that's faithful to you? Wave your hands. And then my niece called and said, "Uncle Charles, I got to tell you something I read." She said, "I read that without the tears in the eyes, there could be no rainbow over the soul. without the tears in the eyes. Oh Jesus. The song You Care means more than just a page in a book. Does Jesus care when you've said goodbye to the dearest on earth? But I thought, well, Lord, how can I drive this little point home to this congregation? And they because some of them, they've got a spouse that left them that's still alive. They got business that's failed. They've got children that's backsliding and has stand alone. Some have received word from a doctor of a dread disease that's gripped their bodies. How could I possibly focus this in a way that would relate to every one of you? And brother Leo Upton was one of the most skilled men in the world I've ever known. He could reach for the sinner and strengthen the saint in the same process. And the way it's done is just to focus on Jesus Christ. And I begin to think of the scripture, you know, over in the book of 1st Samuel, the 3rd chapter in the 12th verse, it says, "When I begin, I will

also make an end." God doesn't start some things and just drop them over into a basket and say, you know, do it later. What he knows where you are, wherever you've been, in whatever your circumstances are, God is there. And there's one thing that you've got to remember that you can be assured that whatever he has committed to you, it's against that day. And we make daily choices that will keep us on target. Hannah in this particular fascinating story had a very frustrating adversary by the name of Panina. You know the story. I won't labor you with all the details, but I learned that the word Panina means pearl. The word paneina means pearl. And the pearl, you see, as we study it, is a result of a grain of sand. I wish I could find one small enough that would be seen by the camera. There's some sand under my my fingernails now, but you can't see it. But that sand, that little grain of sand causes agitation within a moles, or as we more commonly refer to them, oysters. So you see, Hannah was barren. Every year she wept because she had no children to make the the journey to to God to do the things that they all enjoyed doing, sacrificing unto God. She just cried on. She wept on and she would go to the temple and pray and she would go and she would unbburden her soul. Jesus cares. He knows you care. He watches every detail. And it must have appeared to to Hannah that Panina was the more favored. And of course the story about Elcana. He tried to comfort her. Hey, you got the nicest clothes in town, and after all, you got me. Why? You ought to know that's a blessing within itself. He gave her things and yet she wept for a child. In a spiritual sense, with regard to church, we need some paninas around still yet. Somebody to kind of remind us that we still need to bear children. But we don't want to get satisfied with buildings and with things and and think that that's going to take the place of bearing a child. So I thought, well, God, how's this all going to work? And so to solve the problem, God had a problem, too, that that Hannah wasn't quite aware of as he was. There was no clear vision in the temple. There was a backsliden, stubborn, rebellious, puffed up, compromising man by the name of Eli. But even in his backslidden condition, he could still recognize God. Don't you ever get the idea that God just wipes people off just in one fell swoop? No. No. He's still God. So, you know the story how it was related how that she began to to be so sorrowful about all of this. And so, God was going to allow something to happen through her brokenness that would solve not only the problem of backsliding Israel and so forth. And the judgment message was already being prepared for Eli concerning his circumstances. But God had the future in his mind already. God heard every cry of Hannah's heart. And her adversary Panina possibly mel made her feel so uncomfortable. But the nagging and gnawing of that little circumstance, it was like a grain of sand. And it's just the way it is in an oyster. I don't suppose I don't know how oysters hurt or feel, but they say the result of pain in much distress. And so that little grain of sand gets lodged in that oyster and it's washed along the bottom of the ocean floor and so forth. And that little grain of sand, I don't know where the oysters move. I don't know where they strain and grown about the time they think, well, it's letting up a little bit. Then here comes a tide in and washes the oyster down. It falls and plunges maybe 50 ft deeper. And about the time you think that you have almost reached your place of deliverance, here comes another wave. Here comes something that you didn't anticipate. And down and down you go. You're plunged again into another desparing situation. But that frustration, she wanted something to give to the Lord that she could give back as the fruit of her brokenness. So Panina was the pearl of agitation. I had no choices in the events of 1995. Brother Odum, you had no choice in the events of your life. Sister Cannon, all of you, Brother Glass, I watched your countenances and I I wept for you. I wept for you, Sister Spears. I could go down the list. Oh, I I better stop there. But I'm going to tell you, somewhere along the line, that frustration, that pain that was in Hannah, one day, there was a Samuel. And if Eli hadn't been sensitive, at least in some regard, to

the Lord, he would have set out to kill this boy, just like Saul sought to kill David. But no, this is God's plan. And so that grain of sand, that frustration that got into Hannah, Panina would laugh at her, mock her, taunt her, and so forth. And Hannah would just go and do her thing and pray. And then one day, out of all the frustration, there came a pearl. The pearl that was the frustration of Panina. Hannah accepted her grain of sand. She accepted it. She painfully endured it. And one thing I learned just lately about pearls. There is no physical ingredient that they can discern from microscopic tests that have any sign of the original elements of the grain of sand. because it was all absorbed in the production of the pearl. So your pain, your heartache, your unbelieving friends and neighbors and relatives that mock this gospel and even the pain of backsliding children, church splits and heartaches and sadness and death. Be faithful. There's a pearl in the making. I said there's a pearl in the making. Whatever your circumstances, in the ultimate end of things, it will be totally absorbed in the process. In him was no guile fell. Not one revengeful thought for the striking blows to his face. Not one painful, hurting get even spirit in him when they rejected the one that loved him so much. No get even spirit from the the spear that was thrust into his side or the crown of thorns that was thrust upon his head. In him was no guile. He took it. Hallelujah. So there's a pearl in the making. I said there's a pearl in the making. I can be true and I can be faithful. Endure the grief. Endure the suffering. Paul said there was a thorn. That's kind of like his grain of sand. He said, "I did everything to do to get rid of it, but it didn't go." But I tell you what he did. He kept the faith. He endured hardness. is a good soldier. You are in the business of producing something valuable because that little oyster at best on the market would only bring a few pennies. But the ones with the grain of sand that make the pearl produce something more valuable than they themselves. And that's why I can sing and you can sing. I am persuaded. Hallelujah. For I am persuaded. Do you feel that way about it today? Would you stand with me today? I want you to just get a hold of your friend, your neighbor there. In your tribulation and in your pro problems, in your sorrow, it's working a far more weighty. Somebody's watching you. Somebody's observing your life. Somebody sees whether you're faithful. Somebody sees whether you still smile. Somebody sees whether you still pray. Somebody sees whether you stay at church. Because recovery from anything is a decision that you and I have to make. We can't stop and have our progress arrested. We got to go on. Amen. For I am persuaded. Give me that key again. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any creature shall separate me from the love of my God. And when my body's filled with pain and I'm tempted to

complain, this one thing I know is plain. He'll see me through. So whatever comes my way. I will trust him and I will pray. And with Paul you'll hear me say these words so true. Get a smile on your face. For I Hallelujah. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor heart, nor depth, nor Any creature, there's a pearl in the making, shall separate me from the love of God. It may hurt. It may cause pain. I may not understand. I may question. But there's a pale in the making. Riding back from the hospital to the to the motel, had some of my kids in the car and grandchildren, and I was feeling this pain. And I said, "Kids, I would just as soon go on now and meet the Lord right now. If I knew that in the process between now and the coming of the Lord, I would see my children turn away from this glorious truth or turn away from the holiness or turn away from the things that have been passed on to us." Oh, those kids got old. They put their arms on the back of the seat and said, "Grandpa, we aren't going to backslide. We're not going to go away. We're going to be faithful. You can depend on us, Grandpa, you can depend on us." Oh, I'm going to tell you what, there's a lot of pearls in the making. And your faithfulness and my faithfulness are tied to something of your value. He is the prayer. He suffered it all. He gave it all. Let's be faithful. Let's be faithful. You can make it. I can make it. We can make it. We can endure. We can suffer. We can do whatever it needs to be done. We can make it because Jesus is going to give us the fruit of our faithfulness in his own way.