Clearing Relational Clutter

Matthew 5 23. therefore if thou bring thy gift to The Altar and there remembers that thy brother hath ought against thee leave there thy gift before the Altar and go thy way first be reconciled to thy brother and then come and offer thy gift tonight I'd like to teach on this theme clearing relational clutter please be seated thank you for thinking about the word of God amen as I Was preparing for this message I was reminded of a Wednesday night Bible study I looked back to see when it was Wednesday June 12 2019 I taught on the subject I don't hate nobody and that's a direct quote word for word from the former the late brother JT Pugh and if you'd like to study more or think more about what I'm teaching tonight I would recommend you go back and watch or listen to that message I will touch on some of the same scriptures but not the same message I I look back and forth and I really felt led of the Lord to continue the theme from Sunday a time to throw away and that I needed to teach tonight on relationships now clutter is having a lot of things in a messy state especially things that are not useful are necessary clutter stuff that you don't need you don't use it's just messy and to clutter is to fill or cover with scattered or disordered things that impede movement or reduce Effectiveness I Don't Preach from the dictionary but when you use a word I like to know what that word means clutter May mean something to you a little different than someone else but I thought it was interesting that clutter's not just a bunch of stuff it's stuff that's in your way it's stuff that's slowing you down except it's impeding your progress and in this Bible study I want to focus on clearing relational clutter specifically I want to address the count the Clutter of unresolved conflicts and relational baggage my focus is on discarding the accumulation of hurts wounds offenses and even sins in our lives so that's the theme tonight I know you know this but relationships matter to God you know that you can't take your stuff to heaven you can try to take a person to Heaven it's up to their will that you can influence them to go but now no matter how much you influence your pet to go to heaven I'm sorry to break the news to you but according to the Bible I don't think All Dogs Go To Heaven unfortunately I love dogs the Bible said without our dog so I don't know anyway but people go to heaven relationships matter to God he wired us for relationships and relationships are reflective of our relationship with God human relationships are reflective of our relationship with God obviously your relationship with God is a primary importance I want to add and I don't really want to teach on this so much tonight but I believe that you have an intra-personal relationship how you see yourself how you think of yourself how you treat yourself it matters how you view yourself it's a reflection of how you view God because you were created after his likeness and in your image and if you hate yourself you may struggle with the one who created you and you may wonder what's wrong with him that he made you like you are we know that we are completing Christ and our personal wholeness that I feel strongly about and talk about fairly often our personal wholeness grows out of a right relationship with God complete in Christ incomplete without him and when you're incomplete then you are insecure and insecure people people who are controlled by insecurity typically have unhealthy relationships with other people and very often with God they struggle believing that God can love them and so they live under constant condemnation fearing that they never measure up we know that and I know this is not a new idea to you but I jokingly say I'm a recovering perfectionist in my personality I'm a perfectionist but I recognize that I'm completing Christ that when my heart condemns us God is greater than my heart and it is the blood of Jesus Christ that makes me right with him not the performance that of any given day in my life it's not how much I do or accomplish that makes me valuable to God he loved me when I was dead in my sins on my worst day he made me worthy by his blood so it's not my performance that earns the love of God in my life and allows me to be whole and complete in Christ amen so if you're controlled by insecurity and you're prone to unhealthy relationships I could say always but always is a lot incomplete people typically are operating out of an emotional and spiritual deficit they're in the red they're trying to get out of the red so they're needy they need constant affirmation approval accumulation they need more and more but the harder they try the behinder they get because it is not an accumulation of applause or possessions or status in life achievement that causes you to ever be complete it is being content that Jesus Christ covered your sins with his blood and he made you accept it in the Beloved and you are accepted by him be resolved with your imperfections knowing that you're complete by in Jesus Christ but a person is operating out of a deficit emotionally and spiritually they typically use other people to attract to accrue worth and overcome their deficits materialism is one of the symptoms of incompleteness self-rejection and over appearance on over attention rather on appearance physical appearance and and what would be the symptoms of success but not not symptoms but the signs of success maybe not ever having the substance that's why so many people cheat and Rob and steal and cut Corners to try to accumulate out of greed materialism the desire to have and be something that they are not amen now your relationship with other people I know you know this but your relationships with other people is very important to almighty God we're going to Matthew chapter 22 now Matthew 22 34. though in the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence they were gathered together these are a major religious groups sex scct and so they come to him and one of them which was a a lawyer a theologian asked Jesus a question tempting him and saying master which is the great commandment in the law and Jesus said unto him Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart with all thy soul with all thy mind your entire being this is the first and great commandment and the second is like unto it Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself on these two Commandments this is one of those amazing verse to me on these two Commandments hang all the law and the prophets the first commandment of course is that we love God with our entire being if you stop and think about it it almost takes your breath away to think of what it means to love God with your entire being what does that require what does that mean to love God more than anything else he's the highest Authority in our lives all other relationships pale in comparison to our love and loyalty to him everything else is subordinated to that love for God Amen and Jesus taught in Luke 14 that if we love anyone more than we love him and we cannot be his disciple the way Jesus said that is if you try to come after me and you hate not some translations say love less hate is a strong word it's used by Jesus on purpose in comparison to our love for God we love less in fact loving God is so important that if a person comes to God a husband and a wife and that husband stays or that wife stays in the church and that unbelieving spouse departs and that person is freed other than that is only a broken marriage relationship by infidelity that frees you to remarry but Jesus the Bible gives us the Bible not the words of Jesus here the Bible gives us this this exception Clause if you will because we are to love him above every other relationship that's challenging and strong the second commandment is related to the the first commandment verse 39 and the second Jesus said is likened to it Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself to say that it is likened to it means that it is similar to it in importance so you know we like to say well which one do you need to follow should you follow the first commandment or should you follow the second commandment well they go together right they're integrated one is part of the other one reflects the other they're mutually dependent one ex one kind of shows that you're obeying or disobeying the other above your neighbor as yourself so if you do not love yourself in a healthy way love your neighbor as yourself as yourself no man Paul said in Ephesians ever hated himself we we take care of ourselves sometimes in vain ways right we think about ourselves we don't like to admit it but we think about ourselves first unless we work on it to be selfless doesn't come naturally generally if you know somebody that is naturally selfless God bless them that's an awesome thing but typically it's a choice and it takes a lot of work love your neighbor as yourself and this goes back to what I said earlier about an acceptance that we're covered by the blood of Jesus Christ not a self-love of vanity but a respect that God loves us and we can be content with who we are I don't want to get into this tonight but many years ago in my youth ministry days I've taught about this in in teaching on completing Christ and preaching on this you know everybody's got their flaws and deficits and if some of you don't get over being short you're never going to be completing Christ some of you don't get over being bald-headed you're never going to be completing Christ and of being the perfect specimen physically is what makes you complete in Christ I'm in deep trouble and I hate to tell you but so are you most of you but I'm glad that that's not that's not the commodity That Matters to God I can be content with who I am regardless of my flaws years ago in the years of the youth division I was young and but we traveled a lot for the to the work of God and so I would get on airplanes and I would see business people and a lot of them were a lot cooler looking than I was you know and I just remember thinking one day I'm so thankful that God called me to do this because in the business world I may not succeed by what is expected of me physiologically what I should look like or act like or Charisma I thank God that the Lord looks on the heart he sees something different in our lives amen and having all of that physical Perfection whatever that is no one really has it doesn't make you complete love your neighbor as yourself if you do not have a healthy love for yourself then you typically are going to blame your flaws on God and you will not love God Like You should because you'll think he did you wrong if self-rejection has caused you to reject God because you question his love for you it is possible that you're going to reject other people as a reflection of your self-rejection someone said the trouble I'm having with you is the trouble I'm having with me I'm not sure that's always true but I think it's often true if you do not love God and yourself in a healthy way qualifying for the 19th time it is probable you know that if you hate yourself you'll hate your neighbor as you hate yourself because you've gotten you've got an incorrect standard of judging yourself and you'll have an incorrect standard of judging other people and you shouldn't judge other people nor should you judge yourself in terms of performance ability and all of that on Sunday we judged ourselves in communion in our right relationship with God if you hate yourself then you see other people as competition or threats to you instead of people that you can love as Christ loved you and died for you and them loving God and having his favor on our lives requires us to clear any relational clutter that is accumulated in our lives Jesus said love God all your being our soul mind in that passage love your neighbor as yourself on these two Commandments hang all the law this is verse 40 now sorry on the screens thank you media on these two Commandments hang all the law and the prophets so I think you already have this visually but if you want to sum up what God was doing in the entire Old Testament he was teaching us to love God first and love our neighbor as ourselves that is the sum of God's work in the Bible the law and the prophets loving God with your whole being loving your neighbor as yourself and if you live by these two values you will not accumulate relational clutter in your life you will empty the trash of broken relationships as soon as possible amen relationships matter to God they matter deeply to God a relationship with God ourselves other people so we need to deal with the unresolved the the Clutter rather of unresolved conflict when it is in our power to make peace Romans 12 18. I wanted to put this verse here to take the sword out of your hand because we would like to say it's not my fault I try and perhaps you did and I'm not judging you in that respect Romans 12 18 if it be possible I like that if it be possible as much as lieth in you as much as it's up to you live peaceably with all men when I read that verse slowly and think about it it sounds like it isn't just a random text message one time and say well I've done my duty sounds to me like there's a lot more work involved in if it be possible as much as lieth in you that it takes a lot of work to live peaceably with all men now this to me unresolved resolving conflict is Unforgiven offenses that you have suffered case you miss what I mean by that that means if someone has wronged you and you have not forgiven them there's clutter in your life that must be addressed you must biblically not Pastor John's biblically you must forgive them many scriptures about this 70 times 7 if you don't forgive others God will not forgive you I'm not trying to go that deep in that one aspect tonight so we need to let go and forgive others who have wronged us but also unrepented or un well I'm repented wrongs that you may have inflicted on other people things that you've said or done to other people that you haven't taken care of you haven't tried it's not as much as life in you there it was possible for you to do something else or do something at all to make amends for what you did wrong I'll get to this later unless I run out of time but there's no statute of limitations on this you can't just wait 52 years and it goes away you have to act on that wrong you've inflicted on that other person and you should forgive those who have wronged you amen bitterness that accumulation of unforgiveness jealousy toward other people and inordinate desire to have what another person has coveting them you know what they possess the second table of the law you know this commandment hang all the law and the prophets The Ten Commandments one through four loving God Commandments five through ten loving your neighbor as yourself that's what those Commandments spell out amen so I want to talk about this connection between religion and relationships religion and relationship so I want to go to The Sermon on the Mount that's our text tonight pardon my uh try try throat you're not supposed to say that for the online audience and the archives but you're the you're my main audience The Sermon on the Mount Jesus contrasted the external requirements of the Old Testament law with the higher requirements the internal requirements of the coming Kingdom what we would call the New Testament now God's nature never changes he was never happy with lip service he was never happy with people who didn't kill but hated who didn't commit adultery but lusted that was never right but in the Old Testament it typically dealt with the actions of sin and in The Sermon on the Mount Jesus Takes the law to a higher level he doesn't lower the standard in the New Testament he actually raises the standard you've heard it said of him of old time don't commit this act but I say to you you've got to look at the Spirit behind that act that drives that behavior because the attitude matters as well that's that's the Sermon on the Mount now the law proved that we were Sinners and couldn't please God in ourselves alone it was a school Master to lead us to Christ Matthew 5 and 20 I believe is the heart the key verse of what is known as The Sermon on the Mount if you want to read three chapters in the Bible that will kind of give you a real synopsis of the values of the kingdom of God Ray Matthew 5 6 and 7 this Sermon on the Mount so Matthew 5 and 20 for I say unto you that accept your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees you shall in no case enter the kingdom of heaven now it would be very difficult to exceed the righteous behavior of the scribes and Pharisees fasting twice a week living by rigorous regulations adherence to the law in position of things that you had to live by Pharisees were the separated ones the ultra conservatives if you will and our righteousness must exceed theirs Jesus said so I don't think that means we have to pray more hours or fast more days but I don't know really anyone who doesn't need to fast more or pray more but that was not the point the point was that their righteousness was superficial if you read Matthew 23 jesus takes him to task about their superficial religiosity okay and our righteousness has to go to a deeper level it has to affect our relationships we can't just come to church and sing our songs and act religious we have to be right with God and write with people that's what religion is religion and relationships are inextricably tied together by the Lord in his work amen now the Bible gives examples of people who claim religion while at the same time wrecking relationships they're religious people who mistreated widows and orphans they devoured widows houses the Bible said pure religion and undefiled right is to take care of what is an orphans there were religious people who exploited the poor charging exorbitant interest rates taking advantage of poor people you remember the Widow who was going to be sold into slavery for death her husband had accumulated maybe he was justified legally but no mercy was shown to this poor woman there are religious people then and now but there are I say are as in now who abuse and violate their children who commit incest who call themselves Christians their husbands and wise but their husbands that don't seem to be able to get a prayer through to God because they violated what first Peter 3 7 says to honor your wife is the weaker vessel and is an heir together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered I think verse 7 summarizes first Peter 3 1-7 and it can cut both ways to husband and wife but it's specifically addressed to the husband first Peter 3 7. what a great marriage Passage and our great Holiness Passage there are religious people who robbed God and ties an offering there are religious people who hate in the name of religion and I don't mean that they hate evil or they hate the devil they hate other people there are church people who hate other church people holier than thou is a Biblical phrase by the way there are people who give live service to God while living with heaps of relational clutter no we believe in speaking in tongues we have a never disparage it Paul said I thank my God I speak in tongues more than you all Jude 20 but you beloved building up yourselves on your Most Holy Faith praying in the Holy Ghost First Corinthians 14 4 he that speaketh into none none tongue edified himself we believe in speaking in other tongues a lot but it is not God's Hall Pass God's seal of approval on your unforgiving spirit it is not God's seal of approval on your sin it just means that in that moment you've surrendered to the spirit but you can't say that that justifies violating the word of God right you know that I know you know that Jesus taught us to not be superficial in our our role our religion amen and and he Murs as probably a poor term religion and relationships in his teachings it was God's plan all along that relationships are spiritual religion and relationships go together so Matthew 5 21. Matthew 5 21. you have heard it said excuse me you have heard that it was said by them of all time Old Testament Thou shalt not kill and whoever shall kill shall be in danger of judgment remember I told you Sermon on the Mount taking the law to a higher level but I say it unto you that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the Judgment I know if not long ago I use this verse and I'll mention a couple things about it but it's in the context of where I'm going angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment and whosoever shall say to his brother Reika raqqa whatever shall be in danger of the council but whosoever shall say thou fool shall be in danger of Hell Fire and the New Living Translation says if you call someone an idiot and I heard that somebody got in trouble and they're not going to say idiot anymore or stupid or raqqa they're going with raqqa it means empty brain that's what Raca your Bible means empty brain and we have other ways of saying that if you want to don't do this I'm just I'm just never mind just say Reika and then they won't know what you mean but God will God will and I just put this in my notes because it's been a long time since I've talked about slang but there's a lot of slang that makes it way in its way into our vocabulary we teach it cursing is a sin and why does a certain word become a curse word why is it wrong and substitute words we need to clean up our language amen and I'm not thinking of a particular person but I hear quite a bit of slang here and there let's just clean it up Jesus name back to our regular sponsor program Matthew 5 22 now we're on verse 23 Matthew 5 23. therefore here's where we're going our text if thou bring thy gift to The Altar and their remembrance that thou thy brother had ought against thee now the Bible teaches both ways that you're there and you remember that someone's got something against you and we're going to assume from the Bible here that you did the wrong okay believe there thy gift before the Altar and go thy way first he's putting relationship ahead of religious act right here see that you're going to do something spiritual but you've got something relational hanging over your head he says hold everything stop go thy way first be reconciled to thy brother and then come and offer thy gift I started imagining this in real time from his up leading worship all of a sudden you see them put the mic down and walk away suddenly the scriptures don't change on the screen you're bringing your faith promise you're remove the mission your Christmas for Christ offering to The Altar and as you're laying it on the altar which we appreciate thank God for it it makes a difference in the kingdom of God but this is what Jesus is saying while you're doing something very sacrificial and religious while you're in the act of doing something spiritual like ah don't you hate it when you remember things like that when you're trying to be so good does God prompt that memory I don't know it doesn't say that just says you're there doing the most spiritual thing you've ever done the biggest offering you've ever given whatever you know he's having a little fun with the imagery here and like put on the brakes stop man what are you supposed to do Jesus said don't take it with you and change your mind leave it there I'm just reading the Bible leave there thy gift before the altar it's not this or that is this and that right say hold on don't don't put that in the offering bucket yet I'll put that in the safe yet I'll put that in the bank yet I've got some unfinished business this sounds to me like God doesn't want it yet because he doesn't like it when we try to separate religion and relationships it isn't like it when we've got our cute little boxes and this is the church box and this is the people box and they're not connected and that's the point of these two great Commandments that they're interdependent they go together one reflects how you are in the other one so go make it right with that person so again it assumes that you're at fault you go your way you make things right there you go across the aisle across the church out the door making a call an hour later you're back we're all home the lights are out and there's your gift laying there but you've got peace with God because as much as possible as much as it is in you you did what you could to make it right and you dealt with the Clutter a relational clutter in your life so I know you know this worship is important sacrifice is important but no amount of sacrifice can excuse disobedience it's why the Lord told Saul obedience is better than sacrifice amen and God doesn't look the other way and ignore our relational clutter while taking our treasure or our time or our talent and I'm not trying to get you to live on a guilt trip or you feel unworthy I dealt with this earlier of your neighbor as yourself we're completing Christ we all come with our imperfection and serve the Lord with Integrity I'm not talking about with hypocrisy or immorality you know and godliness in our life but imperfection are all imperfect and so the Lord wants both not one or the other love God love people clear emotional clutter in your life I said wife but that would be true too so Freudian slip Matthew 5 25 Jesus goes on agree with thine adversary quickly Wiles Thou Art in the way with him less at any time the adversary we've got a different relationship here it's not a brother it's an adversary delivery to the judge and the judge delivery thee to the officer not be cast into prison verily I say Unity Thou shalt by no means come out thin so thou has paid the uttermost Farthing now I taught on this sometime back and uh effect that message on I don't hate nobody I went into this a little detail so I'll just tell you that Jesus is not really trying to give you legal advice here he's making a point get it right as soon as possible there are consequences for dragging it out turn over the judge the officer thrown in prison whether the allegations are true or false there's a penalty agree with thine adversary quickly while you're in the way with him the Apostle Paul told us something similar in Ephesians 4 26. be angry and sin not now I'm going to pause right here not in my notes I've taught on this before I read a wonderful thing years ago that I learned it and is is amazing be angry and sin not now when you genuinely love someone you're probably not on the verge of sinning love and sinner far apart but Paul says be angry and sin not because when you're angry you may call it righteous indignation but when you're angry you're pretty close maybe to sin so it gives us this warning this you know if you're angry be careful be angry and sin not because anger is sin are not miles apart and then the point that I want to make tonight let not the sun go down upon your Wrath don't accumulate relational clutter in your life that's the point Jesus made it Paul made it in other words God made this point that if you allow this to accumulate in your life it will destroy you and it affects your relationship with God then verse 27 neither give place to the devil now Ephesians 4 there's a lot of one-liners and independent thoughts but I think these verses are connected together don't give place to the devil don't allow him to get a foothold in your life by not reconciling relationships as soon as possible the longer we let an offense faster the more poison accumulates in our hearts and spirits there are some things you should sleep on like before sending somebody an email or a letter that you may wish later you hadn't sent but in this case the Bible says don't sleep on anger don't sleep on unresolved relationships don't go to bed angry with your spouse or children forgive and be forgiven clear the relational clutter in your life the longer you wake the more difficult it is to get it right when you forgive forgiveness frees you from the magnetic pull of hate I read an article today I'd like to think about it longer it's a little bit older 2008 and they did brain waves on hate and love and how the emotions are very similar with love and hate I've always believed that love and hate the two strongest Powers humanly and maybe the passion of them is very similar and I was surprised to stumble on that I saved the article and I'm not making it a teaching point but but hatred is very powerful love is very powerful withholding forgiveness doesn't punish the offender it punishes you and when you release the one who offended you you are free and then they are in the hands of God when we are forgiven we're set free from that offense when we forgive others we release that person to settle up with God now I just want to make this comment it's really not my theme tonight but forgiveness and trust are different forgiveness should be instantaneous trust takes time someone in a relationship with you is violated trust and they want to regain it they should have demanded you instantly trust them you should prove your trust I've been the pastor here over 27 years I never assumed trust I believe you earn it every day and you never quit earning it by the way you live your life that is true of every person in every relationship and if you demand trust when you violated that expectation is unrealistic trust takes time forgiveness should be instantaneous amen I read that bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die it doesn't destroy them it destroys you I know a man who's deceased now I make this very generic to using a huge business arrangement with the person who's supposed to be a believer that person defrauded him of several hundred thousand dollars caused bankruptcy the business closed and that man for gay the offense I don't know all the legal ramifications what happened with the business and debt or any of that but I know he forgave him that man that I knew and have been in his home doesn't live in Georgia he died very wealthy and right with God I know another man who years ago was wronged in a business deal and he got out of church in the process of time I'm not sure was over that but later he forgave came back to God is serving God today I had a conversation with this man to be be careful that you know you don't get taken advantage of and and get burned in business and and and have that same thing happen to you and that man looked at me and said that will never happen again I'm a different person I will never let someone who wrongs me cause me to lose out with God again there are people in this room right now I've been deeply offended and hurt in their lives wronged by leaders wronged by other people but because of their own sole's sake they did not allow clutter to develop in their life I've known good godly people who got angry and hurt in situations and maybe for a while struggle with that but they eventually overcame it and they cleared that clutter out of their life they lived and died in a right relationship with God that's what I want for myself and that's what I want for you