Making Wise Decisions PART II

tonight i want to talk about the second five parts of this making wise decisions series the precedent perspective of counsel people patience and process so let's talk first about precedent when you're making a decision you need to look back and see how this has been handled in the past in the legal system this precedence is very important you want to know what's been done in the past when people were confronted with this same type of a problem or a court case you want to decide this next case based on the precedent of past cases how were these ruled on in the past so we can ask ourselves in a more personal way what does history teach me about this decision whether it is world history state history our personal life history people that we know when other people have made a similar decision what happened to them how did that turn out and you're looking at your personal history look back and think about times we've made a similar decision and find out if you're making another unproductive or even destructive decision that will lead to some unintended consequences that you really don't want to deal with in your life for example if you have a history of spending impulsively well if you think about that next purchase maybe you should stop and not be so impulsive and think about what happened to you when you made a similar decision in the past what happened to your budget what happened to your credit score what happened to your marriage when you made that decision in the past and then what about looking at the decisions that other people have made history of other people you don't need to make every mistake in the world to learn how to make good decisions i've made it a goal in life to not learn from my mistakes i've made it a goal in life to learn from your mistakes or someone else's you know i would rather you make the mistake and let me observe you and learn the lesson that way than to go through that myself and make a bad decision and live with the consequences of that but some people are hard-headed they can't be told anything the bible calls them a lot of things a scorner a fool they can't be told anything they always perceive instruction as another infliction of pain they only learn by experience and you've heard me say this before but they would prefer to go to the school of hard knocks where the school colors are black and blue from all the bruises that they've gotten in life how did how did this turn out for other people in the past george santayana said that those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it so if you don't remember what happened if you block it out if you don't think if you don't stop long enough to ponder the path of your feet the bible says then you're liable to make another bad decision the old testament is a book of examples showing consequences for decisions that israel made especially when they wandered in the wilderness in first corinthians chapter 10 the apostle paul said i would not that you would be ignorant about our fathers and he compares their salvation in the old testament to ours they were under the cloud they were they passed through the sea they were baptized unto moses in the cloud and in the sea now i'll just pause right here to say you know i think we have this salvation thing right water and spirit they were baptized under the cloud and that that cloud that spirit sort of and they were baptized in to see a dual baptism like spirit and water in the new testament they all ate the same spiritual meat went to the same church they all got manna that fell out of the sky they all drank the same spiritual drink the water that came out of the rock but paul said with many of them god was not well pleased and they were overthrown in the wilderness verse 6 first corinthians 10 6 on the screens now these things are our examples we're going to learn from precedence what happened to people who made a similar decision in the past and paul said to the intent we should not lust after evil things as they also lesten and then he gives a list in verses 7 through 10 of the types of sins that were committed by old testament israel and then in verse 11 first corinthians 10 11 paul said now all these things happen unto them for examples in samples the king james says and they are written for our admonition upon whom the ends of the world are come all of this was written so we could learn from the past the precedence of history so that we would not fall into the same trap and paul goes on to say when you think you stand you're probably going to fall take heed when you think you stand lest you fall and then it goes on to say that there's no temptation that will ever come into your life that is not common to man but don't think you're the first person who has ever experienced that our great great great great great great grandparents adam and eve face temptation and the lust of the flesh the lust of the eyes and the pride of life how did that turn out for them not so well but paul said god is able to make a way of escape that we can bear so precedent is vital in making decisions what can i learn from the past the second thing tonight which is the seventh point is a perspective of counsel the perspective of counsel now because we are not god we're not the wonderful counselor we need to have other counselors in our life what is the perspective of counsel and the reason we need counsel there's multiple reasons but for one we don't know everything amen and because we have blind spots most vehicles have a blind spot somewhere at the tender age of 16 i total my 1966 chevelle it sounds cooler than it really was but i wish i had it now i didn't see another car that was coming pretty fast in a blind spot and thankfully we hit her in this old giant boat of a lincoln continental instead of her hitting us and probably why my cousin's brothers and i were not killed but a blind spot new cars have blind spot indicators in case you're wondering uh that first came out on a volvo in 2006 a blind spot indicator well god gave us some blind spot indicators might be a spouse a friend pastor a spiritual leader in your life an elder and when it comes to ourselves none of us are objective our mirrors are a little bit distorted when we try to see ourselves remember our magnifying glasses are great we can always find and see everyone else is false but when we see ourselves or sometimes when we see our families we have a distorted lens we're not as objective as we think we are we are subjective and so we need to hear from other people if you're a young person or even until my parents passed away i want to counsel with my parents i want to know what my mom and dad when my grandfather was alive when i was making a big decision i talked to him spouses siblings pastors or pastoral staff members or ministry and godly friends we need some blind spot sensors and monitors in our lives so we don't dive off and make bad decisions in our lives by the way that volvo was an s 80 in 2005. so we need blind spot indicators so here's some verses on the multitude of counselors proverbs 11 14 where no counsel is the people fall but in the multitude of counselors there is safety so this is important i'll just pause to say the multitude of counselors god almighty and jesus christ in the flesh was the the wonderful counselor but everyone else has imperfect knowledge we see through a glass darkly we know in part and i know that's related especially to the gifts of the spirit but the multitude of counselors so you seek advice from more than one person so you get the multitude of counselors and various perspectives recently someone i know is making a decision and they asked me my opinion and i told them you know what the type of decision you make requires people with some expertise in this particular field you need to talk to several people who know that type of decision i can give you my feeling i can give you my thoughts but why don't you counsel with people who know that subject well and have experienced the multitude of counselors proverbs 15 22. without counsel purposes are disappointed but in the multitude of counselors there excuse me they are established proverbs 24 6 for by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war or your plans or life dreams whatever it is you're trying to do the wise man solomon said by wise counsel you'll make thy war and in the multitude of counselors there is safety now as a leader i recognize that i need other people in the boat with me because i have blind spots i am not i'm omniscient i don't know everything so i believe in the multitude of counselors i believe it's important to listen to people especially elders in your life and i've always had i've been blessed with trusted people in my life now i will admit that at this season of my life a lot of my elders are in heaven and so i can't call them anymore the people that i would have talked to in the past if i had a conundrum something that i couldn't solve but i've learned and i want to say this especially to young people and i want to say i know we have a lot of young people at camp and i want to say this especially in the context of of dating relationships if the people that you have always listened to are suddenly wrong and you have tuned them out regardless of the decision but this seems to be most common when it has to do with romance the way of a man with a maid even solomon the bible said the wisest man in the world did outlandish women calls to sin it's not always a woman it could be a bad man but i just want to really emphasize this that people that you trust today even when you don't like what they're saying to you you need to listen to them you have blind spots we all do you are not infinitely wise and god put people in your life to guide you and help save you from making a colossal mistake in your life and i also want to say that i believe that god put elders in our life because of experience and accumulated wisdom king rehoboam of israel followed his father solomon and after solomon died rehoboam was trying to decide his approach to leading the people so he talked to the people and they said if you'll slack up a little bit on how harsh your dad was how much he exacted of us we'll serve you and so ray bowen went and he started counseling with the elders the old men and this is in first kings 12 and 8 we'll read a few verses here excuse me let me back up let's hold that verse just for a moment so he counsels with the older men they said you know what if you'll listen to that and if you will serve these people everything will be fine and so he listened to that counsel and then in verse 8 first kings 12 8 but he forsook the council of the old men which they had given him and he consulted with the young men that were grown up with him and which stood before him so he he kind of threw out the counsel of elders and he listened to the counsel of peers they didn't have any more years than he did they didn't have more experience than they did and they also probably were wanting to tell him what he wanted to hear they did not have the courage to confront them to confront ray oboe so he asked him what he should do and they told him you need to go back and tell those people and i'm going to paraphrase if you think my dad was rough wait till you see how i treat you my little finger is going to be thicker than my father's thighs my father laid a heavy yoke on you he chasing you with whips but i'm gonna chase in you with scorpions the third day the people came back they answered the king answered the people roughly this is second first kings 12 and 13 not on the screens and they forsook the old man's counsel that they gave him and spake to them after the council of the young men saying my father made your yoke heavy and i will add to your yoke my father also chasing you with whips but i will chasing you with scorpions he listened to his peers now i don't think that young people are all foolish although the bible said that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child so from early on we're not inherently wise wisdom is accumulated it is mined like silver and gold it is given by god if any man asks god gives to almond liberally he doesn't take it back there can be a word of wisdom which is not accumulated wisdom but wisdom can happen through the experience of life so i'm not disparaging speaking disparagingly of young people but i'm just telling you what the bible says that you need to have some elders in your life and you need to listen to them and you need to give them permission to tell you the truth even when they feel reluctant because they don't want you to reject them either someone told me one time that if a person has themself or a teacher they have a fool for a teacher and i will say if you have yourself for a counselor you have a fool for a counselor so i want to say this respectfully if the only people who are speaking into your life are your peers it is possible that the council you are receiving is not wise if you only have one person that you ever talk to and they always tell you what you want to hear that is not the multitude of counselors and my best advice has always come from people who did not have a vested interest they didn't have a dog in the fight a horse in the race they loved me they believed in me and they wanted the best for me and they had nothing to gain or lose by what i did they were they were purely looking out for my good that's been my best counsel all my life amen so surround yourself with godly people include elders in the decision-making process don't surround yourself with yes men or women and even as you get older what i have observed is people are a little reluctant to tell you what you really need to hear so you need to make sure they have permission i've shared with you before but especially in leadership context the story of the emperor's new clothes i'm not going to tell that whole story tonight except to tell you that there are a lot of people that had something to lose by telling the king that he was not wearing clothes but everybody was told that you're not wise you're not worthy if you can't see these beautiful clothes and i reread this story again today just to refresh it in my memory but i don't ever want to be that guy who will not let anybody talk to me they would rather see me make a fool out of myself than have to come to me and talk to me and help me and you need to be the kind of person that welcomes the multitude of counselors in your life so that you're not exposed in some way and make a fool out of yourself in life the perspective of counsel point seven the eighth concept is people the people in your life and what i mean by this is that most decisions we make affect other people you don't live to yourself you don't die to yourself you don't live in a silo or a vacuum the decisions we make most always especially major decisions affect other people now i'm not saying this point about people and making wise decisions to please people but in consideration of people i'm not talking about being politically correct in fear of being cancelled i'm talking about being aware that what you do affects someone else so people are a fact people are a factor in making wise decisions because we live in a community of people in the bible one of the things the early church continued in was fellowship and fellowship is a community of people we have a family we have friends we have a church family we have neighbors we have co-workers you know we have a world in which we live and whatever your personal universe is your solar system of life people are affected by the decisions that we make and when you make a decision only considering what is best for you you're prone to make a poor decision now i want to talk about a decision tonight that some people have made and i i thought this through before i repeated this but i spoke about this in 2015. i'm not sure if i spoke about it years ago when i taught on this subject but one of the most radical decisions that people make is the decision to take their own life they may feel hopeless or worthless but when they take their life they're thinking that everyone else will be better off without them but they are wrong they're so wrong suicidal thoughts might blind the person to the effect of their actions the effect that their actions will have on other people and this is where i have it in my notes though you understand that i'm not talking about a contemporary situation although we're aware of them you may feel i'm saying this again on purpose you may feel that the world would be better off without you you may feel that your family would be better off if you were not around but that is a terribly distorted perspective elijah did not take his life but he deceived he he wished that he could die he asked the lord if he could die paul spoke about despairing even of life but he didn't take his life god should be in charge of that decision your family needs you and you do not need to leave them to deal with the aftermath of suicide now again i'm not saying that because i feel someone here is battling with that but we should be aware that we live in a world where suicidal thoughts and suicidal actions are real and i'm talking about making wise decisions and not making self-centered decisions even if they may not seem like prideful decisions that's decision is still all about you and it's a dangerous decision that leaves a lot of other people in your life to live with the consequences of your decision and wondering if they were the cause of your actions romans 14 7-8 this is where what i said earlier is in my notes for none of us lives to himself no one dies to himself other people are affected remember we're talking about making wise decisions and this point is about the people in your life verse 8 for if we live we live to the lord and if we die we die to the lord therefore whether we live or die we are the lords paul said to live his christ to die his gain but he put that in god's hands he did not take that into his own hands so when you're making a decision you need to ask how will this decision affect the people in my life how will it affect my parents siblings spouse how will it affect my children and grandchildren how will this decision affect our church members i'm talking about people with whom you worship what about the ministries to which you are committed the decision to just miss and not tell or to just drop out when you could stay on or to not serve how does that affect other people those decisions affect other people now i want to talk about lots bad decision lot was told by abraham you know lot you pick you pick where you want to live and lot the bible said he looked at the well-watered plains like why would you not pick that and so lot shows that genesis 13 he thought it was best for his flocks and his herbs and lot ignored the impact that the cultural climate of sodom and gomorrah would have on his family his decision imposed a sinful city and that climate on his wife and his two daughters lot was only thinking about pasture land and you may be making a decision kind of myopically or focused on one thing and not really seeing the big picture how will this affect the people in my life it's not just about the flocks and the herbs where's my wife going to live where am i taking my daughters what kind of a decision is this lot well watch wife and his daughters they weren't interested in the grasslands they were caught up in the malls in sodom they were thinking about the social life in gomorrah or whatever the bible said in genesis 13 12 abraham dwelt in the land of canaan and lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as sodom the king james said toward he aimed his life toward that city but the men of sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the lord i don't really have it in my notes here i talked about it last week but if you make a decision to move what about the church how will this affect my family what about the people lot in your life he ends up living in sodom and there are a lot of other things that followed unintended consequences of that decision that was all about money it was all about well-watered planes and flocks and herds multiplying and becoming more wealthy what's amazing about this decision that lot made abraham takes the leftovers becomes more wealthy and more blessed even in the rugged hillside because god honored his faithfulness to him a lot basically loses everything his two daughters marry men in the city when the angels come to lot and tell them to get out that god will destroy sodom and gomorrah lot goes to his sons-in-law genesis 19 14 when he told them get out of this place the lord will destroy the city the new king james says but in sons-in-law he seemed to be joking can you imagine the lack of credibility to go tell someone in your family there's a tornado coming and them laugh at you a lot you have no credibility with your own family with your sons-in-law the people of sodom ridiculed him from moving there and trying to judge them when the angels are there and they're trying to know the men that had come to stay with a lot what tries to stop them and this is what they said this one came in to stay here and he keeps acting as a judge like you moved into this neighborhood you knew who we were you knew what sodom and gomorrah was like you chose to live here now i don't think you have the credibility to judge us for the kind of people that we are lot's poor decision caused him to forfeit his credibility and you cannot condone and condemn at the same time genesis 19 26 they're leaving the city watch white looks back becomes a pillar of salt lot goes with his daughter he begs to go to a small city zohar they go up into the mountains i'll make this generic for our audience here tonight but there's an incestuous relationship two children are born moab and ammon the daughters of lot by their father this is where lot ends up when lot made the decision to choose the well-watered planes he was not thinking about how will this decision affect the people in my life so i want to just urge you to think carefully about what you're doing when you make a decision on who that decision will affect for example the person you choose to marry affects more than just two people more than just you you may think you don't care what your family thinks about your spouse or future spouse for a while but after a while you will if you don't like that listen to a gray-headed experienced person the council of an elder you will eventually care what your family and their family think you may not like this but in a way you marry a family not just a person whose name is on the marriage license like it or not just go ask 30 other people to get the multitude of counselor if i'm wrong about that if you're a single parent you need to consider very carefully about remarriage some would even say wait till your children are grown but i'm not going to try to go there and judge you or because there's so many different situations but i can tell you this you need to think about the people who are affected and as much as possible have their buy-in make sure that you're considerate of them and make sure you understand the dynamics and get lots of education depending on the circumstances the decision to get a divorce fails a factor the fallout to so many people especially children and i've studied it with a broken heart to know that and i've observed the long lasting effect and sometimes it is not in your power and i'm not saying that to condemn an innocent party here tonight i'm just telling you when it is in your hands do everything in your power to maintain that marriage unless it is irretrievably broken make it work my mom told me years ago you know daryl your dad and i didn't always see eye to eye we didn't always get along we went through tough financial times but we were taught when you get married you stay married till death does to par so we knew we didn't have a right to divorce so we worked it out and 66 years later the day before my dad died i spoke about that on father's day you know guess what they were still married and they had four kids that turned out pretty decent except for the oldest but anyway so my perspective on the people in my life it's almost impossible for me to make a decision of any magnitude that does not affect my wife decisions that i make affect our family this church my ministry i work hard to being accountable in the decisions that i make understanding the ramifications of my choices john maxwell observed that the person with the fewest personal rights in any organization is the person who leads that organization you may think you have more rights if you lead it you actually have fewer you give up personal freedom to go up in responsibility and your so-called or perceived rights are always offset by your responsibilities a husband is the head of his house but he's to love his wife as christ loved the church and gave himself for it there's responsibility that comes with the right or privilege of a position so decisions are not made in a vacuum they are made in community the people who surround you should be considered and should be consulted if you're going to make a wise decision principles purpose priorities prayer the peace of god precedent perspective of counsel people number nine is patience patience and your patience possess ye your soul there's an old saying that love can wait but lust is impatient after i taught part one several years ago brother buddy simmons one of our great elders he's passed on gave me what he always called a gold nugget a wise saying he said never make a major decision when you're discouraged because you're probably going to make a bad decision if you make it when you're down if you're not patient when i was in bible college brother jeff arnold was teaching a class and he said never make a decision under a juniper tree he was referring to elijah who went a day's journey first kings 19 4. he sat down under a juniper tree and he requested for himself that he might die i referred to that a while ago when i was speaking about suicide he said it is enough oh lord take away my life he didn't say i'm going to take my life he asked the lord to take away his life and he said for i am not better than my father's now i love that little phrase and i talk to leaders about that little phrase a lot because yes it is true you are not better than your fathers and mothers and neither am i who whoever decided that we were smarter better more advanced we have it all figured out and they were dumb and ignorant we're not better than past generations cut out of the same dirt right anyway but elijah exhausted and just seen a mighty victory and what goes up must come down and the real battle is often after the great victory and elijah just he was kind of like that anyway sort of up and down personality but he wants to die well wait a minute hold on don't don't die yet just wait but the bible says a lot about patience proverbs 14 29 on the screens he was slow to wrath has great understanding but he was impulsive exalts folly new king james by the way everybody say impulsive impulsive proverbs 2 14 29 he that is slow to wrath is of great understanding a part of me i have i have two translations here proverbs 21 5 new king james the plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty but those of everyone who is hasty to poverty another verse proverbs 29 20. do you see a man hasty in his words impulsive you know there is more hope for a fool than of him when daniel was talking to king nebuchadnezzar he said king nebuchadnezzar i'm afraid that you're acting in haste the bible said that the king was angry he was furious he was trying to kill daniel and his fellows and and you know daniel wanted to know why is the decree so hasty from the king you got mad something triggered you you're going to make a fool out of yourself by acting hastily and daniel went to him he desired that the king would give him some time be patient king i'll interpret this dream it'll be all right waiting is part of god's process i don't have it in my notes i won't take long to say it but you've heard me teach before on the birth death and supernatural fulfillment of the vision or the dream everything that god does in your life will start with a vision or a dream something that he wants to do but it will always die the death of self-will and human ability like abraham is a hundred years old when isaac is born and sarah is 90 and when it is humanly impossible then god lets it happen supernaturally it is part of the ways of god in the wilderness wanderings of israel in the old testament the psalm says they waited not for his counsel psalm 106 13. but lusted exceedingly in the wilderness and tempted god in the desert he gave them their requests but he sent leanness into their soul you want god to say okay here but now there's a consequence to that in the temptations of jesus satan offered him the kingdoms of the world if you'll fall down and worship me i will give you the kingdoms of the world now the bible teaches that eventually the kingdoms of the world would become the kingdom of our lord and of his christ revelation 11 15 and jesus was patient psalm 37 is a psalm of patience if you're taking notes and we should be patient and wait on the lord psalm 37 7 on the screens rest in the lord wait patiently for him fret not thyself because of him who prospers in his way because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass cease from anger forsake wrath fret not thyself in any wise to do evil for evildoers shall be cut off but those that wait upon the lord shall inherit the earth jesus quoted this verse didn't he in the beatitudes to some extent for yet a little while and the wicked shall not be yeah you'll diligently consider his place and he shall not be but the meek shall inherit the earth shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace hebrews 10 35 on the screens cast not away therefore your confidence but you have great recompense of reward i love this verse for you have need of patience that after you've done the will of god so i've already done what the lord told me to do the writer of hebrews said you have need of patience that after even after you've done the will of god that you might receive the promise and then i'll skip the rest of these verses but they're powerful hebrews 10 10 all the way to verse 39 making wise decisions now i realize that some people have a hard time making a decision they're afraid of failure they're adverse to risk you know the imagery of pulling the trigger they just can't pull the trigger i can't make a decision well i hope if you know principles that the lord will help you have confidence to make wise decisions in the right way at the right time sometimes the decision comes to you and you know it's the right decision and you don't have to wait 10 years to make that decision you've dealt with this in the past and you know what to do but when you're impulsive when you're not patient you can be like abraham and sarah god impatient waiting on this promise sarah has a great idea why don't you have a child by hagar that'll be great and it turned out so wonderful did it that's like precedent right you go back and say how did that turn out for abraham not so good ishmael's descendants are still forms in the side of the descendants of isaac the lord told ishmael's mother hagar that your child you're going to have a son his hand is going to be against every man and every man's hand is going to be against him so if you're not patient and you make a mess out of your life god will not bless your mess but he'll love you through it amen and while i'm on this subject of patience making bad decisions i want to remind you of a sermon i last preached on january 3rd 2016 with the epic question can god bless a chili dog and i taught in that january series on the blessed life some people wait and wait and wait like abraham they waited and then after waiting they still make a bad decision you know it's like looking at your watch like king saul so i've waited long enough it's time for me to take things into my own hands and then he made a really bad decision after waiting seven days and i spoke about that a couple years ago but it's in my nose for tonight but i'm going to scan past that when paul saul said i forced myself and gave these three reasons you know my is declining i'm disappointed because god's not coming through for me samuel's not here then i see trouble on the horizon with the philistines so i just had to do what i had to do after waiting i then became impulsive made a really really bad decision that cost him the kingdom the 10th point is process process so let's assume that you've covered all your nine points all these bases to make a wise decision you've considered principles purpose priorities prayer peace of god you've looked at precedent you've listened to the perspective of counsel you consider the people in your life and you've been patient with all the care that you've taken to make a wise decision now how are you going to implement this decision if it's a small decision that may be rather simple and not that compliment complicated but i want to try to help give some insight into how to process a pretty good size decision to help it go well with the people in your life in in the in terms of a larger decision so here are some questions who should know about this decision if you're married or if you have children they may need to be part of the journey to the decision in other words bring them in while you're thinking this through and processing the decision don't make them make them wait till the end as a leader i think it's important to have people in the know before you know i'm going to say it like this the train or the bus has left the station and you ask people to jump on board when the train's going 50 miles an hour they would love to get on board but it's just moving too fast you've waited too long you should have let them be a part of that decision earlier on who should know this decision and that's going to be another question if someone is affected by the decision they should be informed about the decision if it's your spouse they should play a part of the decision not be told after the decision is made and then you need to ask the question what should they know do they need to know the details or just a high level overview of the decision how much information should be shared enough but not an overkill depending on who it is and how they'll be affected by the decision let them see the decision unfold and i've kind of said that most people will want to know how is this going to affect me right because ultimately we care about how this decision is going to affect us so you need to let them know and then my next question is when should they know you should be told first second third should they know in advance or at the time the decisions acted on and as i mentioned this is kind of flows together some but some people know to some people need to know when the decision is a possibility we're thinking about this this offer has been made to me and others just need to know when it is a done deal they don't really need to know it's not their right to know that early on if you're seeking godly counsel hopefully you don't make a decision and then go ask them how they think what do they think about it oh i've just decided to do xyz what do you think about that well i think you just told me you decided do you really want objective input or you just want a rubber stamp approval of what you've decided and then this is pretty big in our culture how should they know does it matter to sit down conversation you know i love email sometimes just a transaction of business something you want to remember it's a written record but i like text messaging too many of them for me but sometimes a lack of courage keeps people from sitting down eye to eye and talking so sometimes you need to communicate face to face sometimes a phone call is appropriate not as personal as face-to-face but you're actually speaking to them and you can have voice inflection you can't see but you can hear and you know a lot of communication is non-verbal right so if you don't if you lose non-verbal by face to face you lose a lot of what you're trying to communicate when you're communicating a decision should it be in a text message i know this is really common but i know people that they make pretty big decisions you know like we are breaking up you know not even as good as in the old days when i was a kid i love you do you love me check one yes no i mean at least there was a little bit of you know process that decision or an email you know we're not acting for legal purposes here tonight but i like clarity because my goodness you can misunderstand people so easily so if it's kind of something to do with when i say business church business organizational business even if i have a conversation and some of you are involved in in the legal world even way more than i am and you follow up with an email to confirm what was said just to make sure and it's not because you don't trust it's what do you want clarity you want to try to avoid miscommunication and then my next question is from whom should they hear about this decision directly from you from a family member a liaison you know this is my really bad grammar saying but way too many people say way too much way too often about way too many things to way too many people everybody's got a best friend but you need to know who you talk to and in the right way now i want to give you an example of processing a decision the example of nehemiah and i'll summarize this amazing story i love the book of nehemiah it's the book of rebuilding and restoration right nehemiah gets a burden my youth congress messages general youth president little rock arkansas the birth of a burden that's why nehemiah gets a burden but nehemiah serves a king who has an incredible amount of power and nehemiah needs the approval but he also needs the support of that king nehemiah 1 and 4. came to pass when i heard these words nehemiah's speaking of himself that i sat down and wept and mourned certain days and fasted and prayed before the god of heaven nehemiah needed to make a good decision and so the first thing he did is he prayed and fasted about this decision and at the right time the lord opened a door for nehemiah to communicate his request this decision to the king when he goes to the king he's going in to take him his wine and the king sees that he sat and asked him it opens the door for nehemiah to talk to him and nehemiah shares with him this dream that he has of going back and rebuilding the walls and restoring the city of jerusalem but the king has some questions for him how long are you going to be gone when are you coming back so now in this decision he's telling the person he's under authority you know he answers to he's processing this in the right way and as a result of this decision and the way nehemiah process processed it received permission from the king he received provision from the king he received protection from the king and he received power from the king all this happened the authority to get the job done so i've seen people get requests turned down because of a poor process this is not part of my message but sometimes really bad timing you know that person is not really in a right mood or frame of mind or they're preoccupied they're not really going to hear you out so you're probably not going to have the best hearing but remember nehemiah waited until the king asked him and he got felt the open door to talk to him that's not a part of my notes but you know we'll just throw that in there for a good measure i've seen people get turned down because of a bad attitude a lack of ethics respect and trust are really important and you may feel like if you tell a person asking for permission that they'll oppose you i've seen people say it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission so i'll just do it well not here and not with god i'm not god but it's not easier i think it's actually a sin if you want to ask me my opinion to be presumptuous and act out from under authority and do something without permission and without authority and you're also not trusting god to work on your behalf when you act unethically you lose credibility respect support you may lose your job you certainly would lose your favor with god by being unethical dishonest the end the thing you're trying to do does not justify the means the end regulates the means so stubborn self-will people who don't trust god don't wait don't process decisions right there's a way to process a wise decision amen if you don't mind please stand so i want to say this in closing and i have a lot of notes about this but for the sake of time i'll condense this well what if you've already made a really bad decision what do you do i mean we've all made a bad decision regardless of the magnitude of that decision no one here can say they've never made a bad decision well you've heard me teach that while you're reaping the consequences of a bad decision so for a future by making a good decision galatians talks about that sometimes you have to cut your losses like king amaziah did he had hired a hundred thousand he paid a hundred thousand talents of silver to hire mercenaries and the lord told him to fire him and send him home and he asked the lord what about all the money i just spent and the lord said don't you know i can give you more cut your losses do the right thing make it right sometimes we need to just say okay i'm not doing anything else i'm stopping right here just stop in your tracks admit you're wrong and make it right to the best of your ability and know that if you'll do the right thing that god will honor you for doing the right thing amen sometimes we need to come to ourselves like the prodigal son change our attitude about the way we think about life and decisions amen