Can You Grieve the Holy Spirit?

Summary

Summary prepared by Acts 2:38 Life from the transcript below — the preacher’s words follow in full.

Filled with the Spirit Means Led by the Spirit

• The question posed: in Ephesians 4:30, Paul warns: 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.' But what does Paul mean when he says not to grieve the Holy Spirit? What kind of attitudes or behavior is Paul talking about?
• We as apostolics believe that we are filled with the Holy Spirit — and that itself is an interesting concept: is it a physical filling, in your bones, in your heart, in your stomach? So obviously we're talking about spiritual metaphor. What that really means is: you are controlled by the Holy Spirit — not against your will, but as you submit to God's will, you are led by the Spirit; the Spirit guides you and leads you, and you submit. So that means you're living a holy life: you're bearing the fruit of the Spirit, you're not committing sin, you're not doing the lust of the flesh.
• Romans chapter 8 talks about these contrasting ways of being led by the flesh, led by the Spirit, and says only those who are led by the Spirit are the children of God. So it's not just, have you received the Holy Spirit one time in your life — but are you currently being led by the Spirit? Likewise, Galatians 5 talks about the flesh and Spirit warring against each other: you're either following the flesh, or you're following the Spirit.

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:30; Romans 8; Galatians 5

Losing the Spirit — and the Middle Ground

• That also brings up: can you lose the Spirit — and what does that mean; does it leak out, so to speak? If being filled with the Spirit means being subject to the leading and guiding of the Spirit, then if you persistently live a life of sin, yes, you lose the Spirit — and we would say, you come back to God, you've got to make the consecration again, you've got to repent again, you've got to be renewed in the Spirit.
• But what if you commit one sin? Does the Holy Spirit automatically leave — you've got to be refilled with the Holy Ghost? You certainly need to repent; you certainly need to confess. But there's a sense the Spirit is still in control of your life: you just went out of his control for that moment — you sinned, or you made a mistake; you're culpable, but maybe not fully realizing what you did until after the fact. So the term 'grieving the Holy Spirit' is a way of saying there's an alternative to saying you lost the Spirit. On the one hand, you're filled with the Spirit, you're living a holy life, you're pleasing God; on the other hand, you're living a sinful life, you're not letting the Spirit control, you're not pleasing God. And there's a middle ground — which probably every Christian experiences sometime — where we do love the Lord, we are following the Lord, we do worship the Lord, but yet we failed: we made a mistake, we had a bad attitude. So is God just gone? No. But the Spirit of God is grieved.

The Context Is Speech: The Preceding Verse

• In the context of the book of Ephesians, Paul could be talking about committing a sin that is not you choosing it as a way of life — you made a mistake, or you made a fault, or you've done something wrong — and that has grieved the Holy Spirit. Because the immediate context: you quoted from Ephesians 4:30, 'Don't grieve the Holy Spirit.' The preceding verse: 'Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.' And do not grieve the Holy Spirit.
• So in the context, you might say a corrupt word: it could be an off-color joke, it could be a spiteful comment, it could be gossip. Well, that's a sin — or that is inappropriate for Christians, at the least, depending on what it is. But does that mean God has left you, you're backsliden, you have to go back and be renewed in the Spirit? No — it means the Spirit of God has kind of temporarily withdrawn his approval: you're grieved; the Spirit is grieved. In the context, it's not like you're backsliding, repudiating God, going out and saying, 'I'm going to live a life of adultery,' or worshiping idols — but you have said something that's not appropriate for a Christian, or you've hurt someone with your words, or maybe you've sinned. The Spirit is supposed to be dwelling in you, controlling you; he's grieved, because the Spirit of God can't approve of that. If the Spirit is in control, it's like the Spirit approves of what you just said — the Spirit does not approve of what you just said. So the Spirit has not abandoned you, but you've got to get that straightened out: you've got to resubmit, you've got to confess.
• He's saying that by your momentary sins — or even maybe momentary lapses of judgment, where you've hurt someone, or you've been inconsiderate, or you've been inappropriate — you can't blame God for that. You can't say, 'Well, the Spirit fills me, so whatever I said, it must be okay — and God didn't strike me dead, God didn't remove his Spirit from me, so yeah, I was rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, but the Spirit's okay with that.' Paul is saying: no, the Spirit is not okay with that. It's talking about affecting your relationship with God — which, left unchecked, would cause the Spirit to leave you, would cause what we say is backsliden. But you're not at that point yet. But you must correct it; you must apologize to God, so to speak; you must resubmit to God. Grieving the Holy Spirit is that space between a fully consecrated life and a backsliden life — a life where you've made an error, a mistake, a wrong judgment, or a sin, or an inappropriate statement. And Paul is just warning us as Christians: our speech should always be wholesome, our speech should always be gracious, our speech should always be edifying, or building up. And when it's not, we could grieve the Holy Spirit.

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:29

Not Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit

• There's another episode on blaspheming the Holy Spirit, which is very different: that is when, having known God's Spirit, you completely reject any work of God's Spirit. It's not that God cuts you off because you sinned too much — it's that you've cut God off, by persistently refusing to acknowledge his work. That's not what he's talking about here: he's not saying judgment, hellfire, you have no hope. He's saying: if you say something that's corrupt, that's not gracious, you will grieve the Holy Spirit — so don't do that. It's just a challenge for us to always be Christians in our behavior, in our demeanor, in our expressions — to be sensitive that whatever we say and do, we would want the Holy Spirit to be able to affirm that. And if we're saying something the Holy Spirit can't affirm, that indicates we've grieved the Spirit, which indicates we need to get straight as soon as possible, confess, and get back under the leadership of God's Spirit.
• And he's glad that in those cases, when we do say things that grieve the Holy Spirit, he brings conviction, and lets us know we've done that. Typically, we will feel that instantly. And if for some reason we don't, probably the next time we go to church and hear the preacher preach, it will hit us — or maybe even a friend will say, 'Did you really say that?' God will use various means — primarily our own conscience, but he could also use other people, and other messages — to alert us to our need to get things right. And thank God he does that.

Scripture index: Ephesians 4:30; Romans 8; Galatians 5; Ephesians 4:29.