What I'd Tell My Teenage Self: Advice for Apostolic Youth

Well, let me start by saying I had a great privilege of being raised in apostolic home. My parents uh my father and mother were both credential ministers of the UPCI for over 50 years. I grew up in home missions, foreign missions. And so I had so many advantages of a positive uh not only teaching but example in life.

So by God's grace and my parents influence, I was able to avoid a lot of the major um dangers or bad choices. So, I don't have any horrible revelations to tell you, and if I did, I probably wouldn't. But, so, it's not as if, well, here's the worst things I did. Uh, but neither do I want to give great credit to myself as if I were the self-creator of these blessings. So, I would say several things that I've learned in my own life of maybe good choices that looking back I'm really thankful for because at the time I did them, it was more the influence I've described, but now I can see the real value that it was hard to see.

Uh, and then maybe some things where I fell short, but I also saw the value of what I was taught to do. And then of course over a lifetime of pastoring and training young men and women I've seen some very negative examples that even more illustrated these points. So just to start I would say you know it's never wrong to do right and it's never right to do wrong. So many times we're faced with a tough choice and it would be easy to say, "Well, I can excuse myself for this or here's a loophole or what my friends are wanting me to do, you know, there's a justifiable reason." But I think if you go back to the basics, what you know is right, stick with that.

It's never wrong to stick with that. On the other hand, if there is a clear ethical or moral or spiritual violation, that's never right. So no matter what the justification, the rationale, the excuse, the loophole, if you know in your heart, this is a bad choice, don't do it. And we're all good at talking ourselves, the wrong thing. We are because when somebody else does something, it's really easy to be objective and say that was bad. But when we contemplate the same thing, we have this inner, you know, I'm not a bad person. I'm but this is why I need to do this or you know I'm not an angry person but it was justifiable for me to lash out in that one case because normally I'm a very good person but that one case I was pushed beyond limit but if another person lashes out we say you know they're just an angry person they need to repent they need to pray through.

So yes we're great at self-justification. So that's a it's a maybe a simplistic statement but that's where I would start. You know when you know what's right you should just do it. It's never wrong to do the right thing and it's never right to do the wrong thing. Second thing I might say is 90% of the will of God is doing what you already know to do. So always, you know, search around for this mystical will of God. 10 years from now I'll be doing this or five years from now I'll be what's God's plan for my great future. And certainly we should plan you know I planned career.

I planned um a a education to ma match that career. You know, I I was going to be um I I started with a major mathematical sciences. I was going to be a computer programmer or mathematician. Uh and then I decided, well, I want more flexibility. So, I added accounting and managerial study. So, I was going to be a CPA or manager. And then after that, so I double majored in that, graduated, got uh scholarships for master's program in both manage mathematical sciences and accounting. Then I said, you know, I'm not sure I will be satisfied. So I went to law school. I'm going to be a lawyer.

Um and of course, the Lord got the last laugh because he called me to preach. Now, all that wasn't in vain. It prepared me in unique ways. But here's the underlying principle is if I had tried to plan my life, I would have never gone that route. If God had told me um you know seven years from now, I'm going to call you to preach. I would have never taken that journey. Uh but but I think God wanted me to take that journey to prepare me for the type of ministry he wanted me to have. So there's several things here. So I said 90% of the will of God is doing what you already know to do.

So when you don't know what to do, do what you know to do. So that's the corollary. Uh so it's always right to be faithful to church, to be faithful in prayer, studying God's word, preparing yourself for the future through study and training and new experiences and and uh I would encourage young adults and teenagers, go on a missions trip. um teach a Bible study, win a soul, get involved in an outreach, uh expose yourself take to new things to uh take trips, you know, uh try out new things. Um take special classes. Not everybody has to go to college, but you should consider do I need to go to vocational school?

Do I need to go to a Bible college or Ursan University? Do I need to go to a sec college in my area? Um, and so all that training for the future is good, but really make sure you do the basics because you know it's God's will to be faithful. You know it's God's will to try to win a soul. You know it's God's will to be involved in church. So, uh, when you don't know what else to do, keep doing what you know to do. But then as a a fourth statement coming out of what I just described is don't try to over plan your life.

um make sure God is in control of your life. So yes, you should plan and I just explained different ways. But I look at it like this. You don't know what your life is going to be 25 years from now. There's no way you could know. But build a foundation that will support whatever God has. So if you build a small foundation and later on God wants you to build a three-story building, you're going to have a hard time doing that. So since you don't know what God has in mind, go ahead and build a solid foundation so that whatever God has, ministry, career, or a combination, it's capable of supporting that.

So that means you should pay attention to the basics. Um, keep those secure and strong and look for more experiences. So if you don't feel led to go to college, okay, but don't just do a meaning menial job. try to advance in a career, get training, get expertise, maybe management experience. So, you're preparing yourself for the future. Not just marking time year by year, getting enough money to survive and not having a goal, but whatever your pathway is, can it sustain what you're going to be 10 years from now, 20 years from now? So I think uh having that future focus but not overplanning your life but yet planning your life.

So that combination I think is vitally important. And then whatever you engage in, you know, keep God number one in your life. And I've learned always from experience, but also counseling others that when you compromise your values, you compromise what you know down the road you tend to regret it. At the time, you may think, "Well, I miss I might miss this life experience." You know, maybe I should go one time to a bar and start drinking, get drunk just to see what it feels like. Maybe I should smoke pot just one time. Maybe I should indulge in sexual immorality just one time and I'm missing all the pleasures that my friends are telling me about and it won't hurt me in the future, you know.

But I think to the contrary, the way the human brain works, there's some doors you open and some things you implant that become a stumbling block. Now, thankfully, God's grace is there. So, for anybody, which all of us have messed up in one way or the other, all all of us have violated our own conscience at some point. Um, but so I'm not trying to condemn people. God God's mercy can forgive you and cleanse your mind and renew your mind. But many times we cause our own problems. We have an uphill battle. We put so much stuff in our minds that even when we do decide to really serve God, we have a lot to overcome.

A lot of baggage or a lot of uh a lot of strongholds in our mind that we have to fight to overcome. So I guess what I would say to my younger self and to everyone else um don't open doors that you will later regret. So being faithful, being chased, being disciplined, avoiding sins, 10 years from now, you won't regret say, "Oh man, I wish I'd have just indulged for a few weeks in that sin just to feel what it's like." 10 years from now, you won't feel that way. But if you did 10 years from now, you're going to say, "Man, I wish I had not done that.

It just opened a door. It's make taken me so much time to try to overcome." And now when I'm trying to help others, uh, you know, I had to be careful because I'm I want to tell them to do what I didn't do. So, I I guess I would say um you're not going back to my first comment, but you're not going to regret making the right choice. But uh if you make the wrong choice, God is gracious. God is merciful, but you're just fighting yourself. You're setting yourself up for a struggle. You can either learn the easy way or the hard way. So as much as possible, let's try to learn the easy way.

That is by hearing the word of God and seeing the choices of others. Uh and I would also say find some role models. In my case, my parents were great role models of genuine Christians. So, as I encountered false doctrines or false teachings or inconsistent lifestyles or even preachers who were very disappointing, I always had a good solid example to say, but I know what a Christian is really like. I know what a true minister of the gospel is really like. So, that grounded me. So, if you're fortunate enough to have godly parents or godly pastor, don't make them your your uh don't worship them.

They're not God. They're not perfect. And as you become an adult, you'll realize they make mistakes, too. And uh you you see some things they shouldn't have done or they should have handled differently. But I think you do need godly examples in your life that you can help. You have to have the word of God, but you have to have some godly leaders that you respect, godly examples that you respect. In times of questioning, you can look back and say, "Well, they made it. They did it. I know they're genuine. I know it's real. I know what we teach works." So, you have to have a few people in your life that you really look up to.

And if you find that someone is a hypocrite and a failure, um, you have to understand that's part of life, too. But try to reorient yourself with others that you can truly respect. And don't allow your respect for God's word, the church, the ministry to be destroyed by a negative example. And I did see uh as a young adult, I did see some negative examples that were very discouraging to me. But I had to uh talk myself out. I can't let that u cause me to lose confidence in God. I have to reorient myself to the word of God and to godly leaders and examples that I do did really trust.

Another thing is a choice of friends. Uh and I can speak from to my younger self. You can always make new friends but you can't make old friends. So here I am. I can always make a new friend at different stages of life I've had. But for someone who knew me when I was a teenager, who knew my true struggles, my true dreams, what I wanted to be, my relationship with God, but they didn't know I was going to be general superintendent. They didn't know I was going to be famous. So when they relate to me, they don't say, "Oh, honorable general superintendent." You know, um they relate to me as a friend.

So, while I can make a new friend, I can't make a friend that doesn't know who I am and what I've accomplished and that relationship is going to be in part based on who I am. That's inevitable. So, but to have someone who knew you back when and who could, if necessary, could speak honestly. Forget you're the general superintendent. Why did you do that? You know, or forget everything else. I know the real you and can relate to you. So that's very valuable. So as we grow older in life, it's easy to discard people. And in truth, sometimes you grow apart. Your interests change, your life experiences change.

You don't stay in connection. But those that you can stay in connection to, it's valuable. Those that you can man maintain friendships with are valuable because you can't replace those. I mean, you can have other relationships that are just as meaningful, even more meaningful, but you can't make an old friend. No. So, I would just uh maybe say stay in touch with people that you value uh because 10 years from now, 20 years from now, you won't be able to you can find other people, but you won't be able to replace those people. And uh so um maybe that those are a few things. I do have a book called The Apostolic Life, which I talk about finding God's will, career planning in the will of God, a few other things like that that may relate to what we're talking about today.