Transcript of a published sermon by Joan Ewing, transcribed from YouTube. An attributed primary source — not Acts 2:38 Life doctrine text.
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Summary
Summary prepared by Acts 2:38 Life from the transcript below — the preacher’s words follow in full.
Summary
- She opens with the voice that came to her as she stood looking out on dazzling snow: though your sins be as scarlet, I’ll make them as white as snow, and though they be red like crimson, I’ll make them like the little lambs fresh in from the washing, the snow white, clean wool. God said red, she says, because people have a tendency to categorise sins, and he wanted to reach the ones whose sins are flamboyant — red flags hoisted, red lights whirling, fingers pointing: he would do a beautiful scientific thing never done before, take red and cover red and make it white. Against that promise she sets the life-sucking leech of guilt fastened on God's people, pulling out of them all hope of ever being anything for God, and the long train believers drag behind them into his presence — a lifetime of yesterdays filled with missed expectations and things they wanted to do and did not do. She is not excusing sin, and she is not excusing negligence or knowing to do good and doing it not; there are no excuses for that. But there is a remedy, and there is hope, and there is an escape — and there is nothing Christ has not felt that his people feel, guilt itself included.
- In Gethsemane, she says, what was about to come on him was not death — he was born to die, and he knew he would resurrect — but a pounding sledgehammer of guilt: every sin that had been or would be committed as long as there was a universe fell on a man who had never sinned in his whole life, until he felt what the murderer, the adulterer, the robber, the gossiper, the liar, and the cheat feel, and cried for the cup to be taken from him. She voices his urgency through the arrest, Pilate, and Herod — get this off of me, get the cross, get the spike quick — until he nailed the transgressions to the cross. A believer mean or brazen enough to reach out after forgiveness and embrace the leech again deserves the nasty, dirty feeling of guilt; and to the one who says "Joan, you don't understand what I've done," her answer is that she does not need to understand it, does not need to know it, and does not even want to know it.
- She dramatises a persecution scene: a young woman heavy with child, running and screaming "Don't let him get me," run through with a sword together with her unborn child; an old man killed as he shuffled and begged the same words; the killer riding off sick of Christians cluttering his land, following an impostor, saying he healed their bodies. Then she fires the commands those same Christians live by — present your bodies a living sacrifice; rejoice evermore; pray without ceasing; come out from among them and be ye separate; bless them that persecute you — and asks twice, "Who's saying that?" Somebody in this house had better believe in the blood of Jesus Christ, or tear fourteen books out of the Bible; and the conclusion "so you can't be used" she calls what it is: that's clever.
- Peter by the fire is her case in point. It was cold and the fire looked good; his friend was inside on trial, John was with him, and three times he denied knowing the man, the third time cursing and swearing. In her telling he is called back to the keys he dropped: somebody has got to let us in the door, and it has got to be you. She quotes her own Simon's Song — Peter warming himself while he held the keys to unlock salvation's door, the denied man walking through the judgment-hall door, eyes meeting, spirits locking, hearts colliding, and the broken-hearted question, is there life after failure, is there hope beyond the fall — answered from the cross: if I could make it to that rugged cross and fall beneath the crimson flow, then my past could be forgotten and my sins made white as snow. She has sat by that fire herself, her world torn apart by failure, heard Satan say "you're finished, it's over," and remembered Calvary and how her best friend died: yes, there is life after failure; yes, there is hope beyond the fall.
- The harvest that comes now, she says, holds no good old sinners left — everybody's life is twisted and torn and wrecked and ripped and smudged — and if we are going to have a harvest, we are going to have to take this one: wheat ripped and torn and bent by the winds of life, even fallen into the ground, can still be ground into flour and still make bread. If God forgave Saul of Tarsus and allowed him to put instructions for us in the book of life, and forgave Simon Peter and let him open the door to the kingdom of God, who is anyone to say God is not able to remove the leech from them? A friend of hers who used to deal dope answered her musing — would it have been better if Jesus had given the keys to John, who never messed up? — with no: where she came from, it is a lot easier to walk through a door that Peter opened than it ever would have been through a door that John opened.
- Only two things can keep guilt in a life. One is an unrepentant heart, where you have not asked forgiveness and it really truly is there. The second is retained unforgiveness toward anybody else: God will reinstate guilt in your life for it. The blood is powerful, but it cannot be kept private — don't just let it work for you, because if it is only for you, it may not be for you at all; the same blood must be allowed to wash away your vilest enemy, the most deadly thing that has ever come against you housed in a body with a soul. She closes with the altar appeal: I don't want you to bow your head, I want you to look up; tell him, I have pulled this train as long as I plan to — it won't take but one drop; take all this away from me.
Transcript
dazzling snow. And as I stood there and looked out on that glory of God's creation, a voice from thousands of years ago came into the room and said, "Though your sins be as scarlet, I'll make them as white as snow. And though they be red like crimson, I'll make them like the little lambs fresh in from the washing, the snow white, clean wool. And I said, God, why did you say red like crimson? Why did you say black as dirt? I see sins as being muddy and sludgy and brown and nasty looking and dirty looking and at best maybe the color of graphite. But you said red. And he said because people have a tendency to categorize sins. And I wanted to say it in such a way that those who have had red flags hoisted and red lights whirling and fingers pointing and they be red. Look. Oh my god. Look. Look what she did. Look what they did. Look though they be red. Flamboyant. call attention to. I am going to do a beautiful scientific thing never done before. I'm going to take red and cover red and make it white.
And when I see God's people, it's one thing for the world, but when I see God's people laboring with this life sucking leech, pulling out of you all hope of ever being anything for God. When I see this leech sucking from you, the rivers that should be flowing and the light that should be in your face and the glow that should be on your countenance and the witness that should come out of your mouth when I see him lying to you and telling you you can't do anything for him. He's a holy God because you did It makes me angry. Do you say, "Well, I I don't know. I I try to go before God and I That's it. You try to go, but your train is too long. You don't just walk in there with your petition and lay it before a God that hears every word that you say and can take care of it in a split second. That's not how you come to him. You pull a train behind you. A lifetime of yesterday's filled with mis expectations and things you wanted to do and you didn't do. And I am not excusing sin. And you've got to understand that I am not excusing negligence. I'm not excusing knowing to do good and doing it not. There are no excuses for that. But there is a remedy and there is hope and there is an escape from that tragedy that comes upon you. I know that so many times we look at Jesus Christ as having empathy for us and everything except one thing. I've come to tell you there are no things that he has not felt. Nothing that he has not felt that you feel.
It was almost over for him. One had already left the supper room and he walked out with the 11 and he knew it was almost over and they were headed to a garden to pray. He had good practices in his life and they were going to pray in the garden and the thing that he dreaded most was about to come and it wasn't death. He was born to die. He knew he was going to die. But the thing that was fixing to come upon him, he dreaded more than he dreaded drawing his last breath because he knew he would resurrect. He walked a little farther than the rest and fell under the olive tree and began to cry. If you could take this cup from me, I wish you would. And there it came, a pounding sledgehammer of guilt. And every sin that had been or would be committed as long as there was a universe fell on top of him and suddenly he was killing people. He was a murderer. He was an adulterer. He was robbing banks. He was hitting people. He was mistreating people. He was a gossiper. He was a liar. He was a cheat. He had the feeling that you have when these sins become a part of your life. He had that feeling. Settle down on him. Oh God, I'll die. It's not that. But get this off of me. Get it off of me. Can you imagine a man who had never sinned in his whole life? And there he is under the weight of every sin in the world. It was like, "Okay, wake up. I'm going to go pray again. Wake up the third time. Let's go. Let's get this over with. Let's get it over with. Come on. Come on. You're looking for Jesus of Nazareth. I'm here. Here. Take me." No. Peter, don't cut off his ear. Let's put it back on here. Let's go. Let's go to Pilate. To Herod. To Pilot. To Herod. to pilot. Let's go. You got a cross. You got a whipon. Come on. I got to get this off. It's sucking the virtue out of me. Oh my god. I have felt pain before. I know the heartache of coming to a people and they don't recognize me. I know what it's like to come to a city and weep over it and they turn their back on me. I know what it's like to carry a friend for three years and have him sell me out for the price of a slave. I know all those pains. I know what it's like to live and to grow up and you've got a questionable birth back there that those that don't understand are misjudging you. I have felt pain before, but I've never had anything so horrible as this pain of this guilt that's on me cross. Get the spike quick. Quick. Come here. Right here. Do it now. I will nail these transgressions to this cross. And he did.
And if you are mean enough or brazen enough, are insensitive enough to reach out and grab that leech after God's forgiven you and embrace it to yourself. You deserve the nasty, dirty feeling of guilt. But you say, Joan, you don't understand what I've done. I don't need to understand. I don't need to know it. And I don't even want to know it. But Joan, this is something else you need to know. All of my life, I just wanted to be used of God. And now I can't ever ever find a place in his kingdom where I fit. I It's kind of round and square and it it won't go together. Listen to this. She was heavy with child and she was very young and she was running as fast as her little bloated body would carry her screaming, "Don't let him get me. Don't let him get me. Don't let him get me." But he just kept coming with his sword and he drew back and he said, "There's too many of you here now." And he rammed it through her stomach. And the mother and the unborn child lay dying in their own blood on the streets. And the old man got up and he shuffled. I said as fast as his little legs would carry him and as loud as his little voice would say, "Don't let him get me. Don't let him get me. Don't let him get me." And no mercy. He took his sword and he rammed it through him and he said, "I want you to know you Christians have cluttered my land long enough. I'm tired of it. And you're getting out of here following an impostor, loving him if you please, saying he healed your body. I'm sick of it. And he got on his horse and he rode away mumbling to himself how good this world would be when all is ever gone. Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and accept God, which is your reasonable s. Who's saying that? Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. Come out from among them and be ye separate. Bless them that persecute you. Who's saying that? Somebody in this house better believe in the blood of Jesus Christ or you're going to have to tear 14 books out of your Bible. So you can't be used. That's clever.
It was cold and the fire looked good. And so he walked over closer to it. And of course we know now he shouldn't have, but he did it. And his friend was inside. And oh, John was with him. It's okay. Um, do you know him? The guy in there? Nope. Sure don't. It's dangerous to be in there with him. I'm going to stand out here and I think this is a pretty safe distance. I mean I mean if John needs me, you know, he'll yell. Do you know the man in there on trial? No, I don't. And the third time he cursed and he swore and he said, "No, I don't even know him." Peter. Peter, look. You dropped something. Peter, pick it up. Pick it up, please. It's You drop some keys. Pick them up, please. Hurry. Hurry. My salvation depends on this. I can't. I can't. He just came out and I just saw his face and he saw me. I can't. I can't. Peter, you've got to. You've got to. Somebody's got to let us in the door. And it's got to be you. Oh, not after what I've done. I could never. I wrote a song. It's called Simon's Song. I'll just quote you the words. The fire was so inviting. No friends called to him. While Peter tried to understand betrayal's price. While he held the keys to unlock salvation's door, he cursed and swore he had never known this Christ. Then through the door of judgment's hall walked the man he had just denied. Their eyes met, their spirits locked. He felt their hearts collide. I guess it's really over. Tomorrow fell apart. He stumbled from the courtyard as he clutched his broken heart. Is there life after failure? Is there hope beyond the fall? Should I get up and try again or never try at all? If I could make it to that rugged cross and fall beneath the crimson flow, then my past could be forgotten and my sins made white as snow. Now there have been days I found myself sitting by that fire. Failure had torn my world apart. You're finished. It's over. I heard Satan lie. Then I remembered Calvary and how my best friend died. Yes, there's life after failure. Yes, there's hope beyond the fall. I will get up and try again. He'll stand with me through it all. If I can make it to that rugged cross and fall beneath that crimson flow, then my past can be forgotten and my sins made white as snow.
And you've got to understand how badly he wants to rid you of this today. You see, one thing you must understand is the harvest that comes now. There are no good old sinners left. Everybody's life is twisted and torn and wrecked and ripped and smudged. Nothing looks quite right anymore. This is what you have to understand about the harvest. If you're going to have one, you're going to have to take this one. And wheat that has been ripped and torn and bent by the winds of life, even if it has fallen into the ground, you have to understand that broken wheat can still be ground into flour. That broken wheat can still make bread. I don't know who you're praying for and I don't know what lays on top of your head, but you look at me today. You better get it off of there. If he forgave Saul of Tarsus and allowed him to put instructions for us in the book of life, if he forgave Simon Peter and let him open the door to the kingdom of God, who are you to say that my God is not able to remove from you that leech that sucks the life and the victory out of you? Who are you anyway? I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. She used to deal dope and whatever. And I said, "Don't you think that it would have been better if Jesus had given the keys to John?" He never ever messed up. He was always there. He was there for the long haul and he did everything right. And she looked at me and she said, "No, Sister Joan, I I'm glad he didn't." She said, "Where I came from, it's a lot easier for me to walk through a door that Peter opened." It ever would have, a door that John opened.
Only two things can keep guilt in your life. One of those things would be an unrepentant heart where you have not ask forgiveness and it really truly is there. The second thing would be if you retain unforgiveness toward anybody else in your heart, my God will reinstate guilt in your life. I don't have time to go through the parable. The blood is powerful. Don't just let it work for you. Because if it's only for you, it may not be for you at all. You have got to allow that same blood to be powerful enough to wash away your vilest enemy. The most deadly thing that has ever come against you, if it's housed in a body with a soul, you've got to let God wash it away. I don't want you to bow your head. I want you to look up. He's really everywhere in here, but I just like to look up because he's so high and he's so great. And I want you to tell him I have pulled this train as long as I plan to. It won't take but one drop. Take all this away from me.