So You Want a Miracle

— My most prestigious credent would of course be being your — wife and Bonnie and Landy's mom and my three grandkids grandmother. But religiously speaking, my most — prestigious credentials are that I am a personal friend with mercy and I've been on speaking terms — and pretty good buddies with grace for a long time. — And that's it. I have something to say to you today and I'm kind of wrestled with it because — I have referred to it on other occasions and God said, "Well, have you ever sung a song twice?" And I said, "Yeah, maybe so." So, here goes. — My grandmother Donna Hugh lay dying in the hospital and my mother, Sister Clark, and her sister, Sister O'Brien, — that's the way you know them, was standing over the bed and she was telling them goodbye that she wanted to — go home and A&M said to her, "Mother, what about E?" That was one of the brothers who had never been in church. — And my grandmother said, "Don't worry about EB. He'll be all right." And AM — said, "Mother, mother, he goes to church once a year, and that's on Easter. He comes to Starks and goes to church with me. Mother, please tell us something. — What about E?" She said, "M E is going to be all right." I know, — and I want to go home. And she did. And EB was all right. And she didn't see it, — but he was all right. She saw the foxholes in World War — II. And in those days when he was a sinner far from God, God handed to her a personal — promise about EB. And she held it through the war. And she held it through the postwar — years and she held it a long time and then she handed it to my mother and my — aunt and they took it and they believed it and it — happened. And you say, "Oh, God, I wish you'd give me a — personal promise." I just want to ask you a question. — Do you know what you're asking for? Would my pastor come and read the — scripture setting for me, please? Psalms chapter 105 verse 19. — until the time that his word came, the word of the — Lord tried him. The American Standard — Version says, "Until the word of the Lord had come to — pass, the word of the Lord tested him. — So you want it. I want to tell you what it is not. It is not a — pacifier that you put in your mouth and you suck on every time some little doubts come along and you say, "No, — everything's going to be all right. I got a little promise from God." It is not a security blanket that you wrap up in at night and go to sleep and let the rest of the world go by because one day — God gave you a promise and you are so snuggly and so warm and so happy and having the best time. I want to tell you that if God — ever trusts you with a promise, you will climb mountains higher than you ever dreamed that God could — make a mountain. And you will fall into valleys deeper than you ever knew God could scoop it out. — Because if he ever trusts you with a promise, it is because he senses that you are a cut — above the rest. That you're made out of a different fabric than just the norm. — And you can take the wear and the tear and the pulling and the stress and the — strain that a promise brings. — Who are all those people going over there into Canaan? Oh, that's Abee's kids. Abe who?

— You know, Abraham, the father of many nations, got a promise from God. Ah, yeah. — Abraham. Oh, I wish I could get a promise like that. Do you? Oh, do you? — I don't know what had in it, but he had to leave it. That's right. He didn't move into some fine mansion either. He — was a bedawin. Absolutely. That's dust and dirt and deserts and tents. — That's no permanent address. That's right. And then, father of many nations. — Wow. You're old. I don't care. He said it. You're going to get laughed at. — Your spouse is going to laugh at you. — Tell your spouse what God spoke to you if you want to and watch them grin because they see the impossibility of it and they don't see the God that gave it. — Some of them you might better ponder them in your heart. It's just a little advice. Some of them laughed and some of — them mocked. But Isaac was born. What? My — promise, kill, burn, give back to you in — death. What's going on here? Got a promise, honey. This is part — of the process up. Mariah never knew the ram was coming up the other side. The boy was as good as dead. — That's how it is when you're picked out and you're given a promise. — You see, the Bible said that the after the word of the Lord, this promise, this dream, whatever — had come to this boy Joseph, it came to make him happy. I think that was — it. It came to bring him great joy. It came to make him the biggest one of the — 12. I don't think so. But what I think did happen is just exactly what the — Bible said. It came to try him until the word of God was fulfilled. — Now, God doesn't always show you the jealousy of the brothers and the pit and — the caravan into Egypt and the quick exaltation and the quick coming back down and the lies and the accusations — and fleeing and leaving the coat and going in the prison and interpreting a dream and begging somebody to remember you when they get out and they forgot — you and then another dream. And he never hardly ever shows you the trip. He — speaks and in faith you see the end, but you don't see the in between — times. And that's what separates, how do you say it here? The girls from the ladies. — Come here, David. They've all gone by except you. Come here. I never thought they'd ever want you, but come on. And — here he came, sweaty and stinking from out in the field with his little old shepherd garment on with a big old — wonderment and pushing the sweat and the curly hair back. And there stood the prophet. Oh my God. That is Prophet — Samuel. And Prophet Samuel's hand is shaking. He's got a horn of oil in his hand. And he knows who just walked — through the door. It wasn't just the youngest of Jesse's son. It was the king of Israel. What's going on here? Here, boy. — Here, boy. Let me pour it on you. Okay, — king. Um, you have some more clothes for me. I hate to go to the city with you looking like this, man. I'm pretty tacky — and pretty sweaty. Do I have time to get a shower? No, honey. Um, we're not going there — now. Oh, okay. You're going back where you came from, to obscurity. — Me, the king, I'm going back to obscure. Oh, yes. There's a process here. — It'll come. But between the sheep coat and the throne,

— Write your songs, honey. Play your little heart. I'll sit on the hillside and I'll listen to you. I'll give you — strength to kill the bear and the lion and the giant. And then I'll make you a warrior. But there's some jealousy coming. You'll flee for your life. — You'll hide in caves. You'll feel like a nomad. You'll feel like a nobody. You'll run the gamut of it all. But just — remember, there was the oil and there's been a promise given. And one day you'll sit on the throne and you'll wear the — crown. Blessed art thou amongst women. Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, — Jesus. Wow. I want to be Mary. I'd love to be Mary, mother of Jesus. Would you — really? She was just a teenager. Yeah. Right. — Yeah. Yeah. She going to have a baby. — She hasn't ever known a man. I've never heard anything so silly in my life. And — she got to where she didn't even want to go to the well because they poked fun at her and they mocked her and they — ridiculed her. But she knew that the angel had come and and she knew the angel had spoken and she knew what was — here. But I don't have anybody to talk this over with because my mother and daddy don't — really totally believe me now. But there was a — baby and he cried and she changed his diaper and she fed him and he burped and — he threw up. He did a bunch of stuff. I mean, he was a baby. Okay, so this is the Messiah. — Okay. Would you come in for supper, please? Jesus, you have been up in that — tree until I am sick of it. Come in and eat your supper. Your fig cakes are getting — cold. Now, if I catch you back in that tree again, the Messiah, God have mercy. — And she just went on knowing. But I mean, what do you do? He's out there smashing his finger with Joseph in the carpenter shop and getting dirty. And — would you wash behind your ears, please, Messiah? And she said, I whispered that, you know. And one day, God said, you — know, you've been a good girl, Mary. I'm going to I'm not going to really show you the whole thing, but I have a window I want you to peep through. Come here. I got a window for you. Come here. Look. — Look. I know you're all upset because you can't find the kid, but come here. — Come peek through this window. Look in there. See? Look at him. He's in there confounding the doctors and the lawyers. — This is just a little tiny taste of what you gave birth to. And then there was the wedding feast and he was a grown — man. Now, have you ever noticed that women have this um sometime they just know things? You know what I'm talking — about? They just know. and she just knew. And she said, "Um, Jesus, um, — they're out of wine." And so he said, "Well, thank you, mother. You're so — observant. I love the way you notice little things and bring them to my attention." I don't think he did that either. I think he — said, "Okay, woman. I'm your mother." woman — and my time's not yet. I wish you'd stop bugging me. What he was saying — was, "I'm human enough that I'm even scared to step over the threshold and begin this thing because I know how it — ends. And here you are trying to shove me in there. Don't bug me." But women — just know. So she walked over to the servants and she said, "The man over there, if he tells you to do something, — just do it, okay?" And then the vindication — came. The governor said, "Everybody's saying you've saved the best wine until — last. What happened?" Ah, it was Mary's kid. He just did a little thing over — there and it was water but now it's wine. But that wasn't the whole — story. I mean that even ended but then it started up again and

— then she was in the upper room and then he came back and he stayed with her forever. See, you just can't map out how — these promises are going to take place. — I suppose that probably one of the biggest words and I hope to God it stays that way on the lips of — just church now. I mean it's not just the Pentecostals but is revival. — revival God's gonna give her well it's already here but I don't know how I can't — remember how long ago it's been but buddy it was a long time ago and I walked into the old church down on — Apollo Street where my husband and I were u pastoring with his father at that time who had had a stroke and then we — had come in and whatever you know that story maybe and I walked in there and I said Um, uh, God, this is me. Because I — pray like that, you know, I don't feel like I have to learn a new language to talk to him, except when I talk in tongues, and I don't want the devil listening and I talk another language — that he doesn't understand. But when it's when it's just us, I just said, "This is me." And a bunch of my friends — are having big revival and I want one. — And he so I said, "Now, I'm not rushing you or anything like that, but I just want to let you know that I'm going — to bug you until you do it. And if you think you're going to get rid of me by — staying away or staying what I'm asking for, then you're no, I'm not. I'm going — to be here. I'm going to be asking and I'm going to keep on. I'm not going to stop." And one morning about um it must have — been about 1:30 in the morning. We were having one of those prayer meetings. And I'll never forget my little girl. She was about oh probably 9 years old and — she could always out pray anything I ever heard in my life. I mean the kid could pray. And that night with her big — old long pigtail going down her back, she was walking the aisles, you know, just like those big old time prayer warriors, you know, actually travailing, — just walking the aisles. And I was laying over by one of the altars. It's 1:30 in the morning now. And I said, "God, I know you're going to do it, but — just show me what you're going to do." And this is what he said. He said, "Joan." That's my name. He said, "You — couldn't believe it if I told you." He didn't say, "You wouldn't." He said, "You couldn't." And he was right. — Well, the church started growing and we got us a bus and man, we got up buses and we're bringing them. And so it's — Easter morning and everybody's sitting out there in the audience and it's packed and jammed and it's time to start — service. And then there's a scream and in the — hallway hovered over by several nurses that were in the congregation is a little girl less than — two years old. Her body I we think is lifeless, but we don't know. They're still working with — her. She had gone through two locked doors in a dark hall. I I don't I we don't know — how it happened. Climbed a steep flight of steps. — She loved the baptistry and they picked her up — floating in the baptistry while her mother and dad were not out drinking. Okay, don't misunderstand all this. They weren't — sinners. They were in the back getting ready to start Sunday school and getting prepared for their class. They were doing the right thing at the right time — at the right place and it still happened. Do you have an answer? And my husband stood there and the sirens were coming down the street — to pick up the baby and take her to the hospital. And my husband said for the first time in my life, I heard the most — hideous laugh I had ever heard in my life. And I knew it came from hell. And — the devil was laughing at me. And he said, "Ah, Merl, you and you got your buses. Your church is full. I'm going to make you a laughing stock of this city. — I will mock you in the streets. And yuing and Eastwood will be — a hiss and a by word in this place.

— Promise was a promise. But he didn't do it. — One day you're going to learn his bark is way worse than his bite. — Roaring lines don't have teeth. You just need to stop paying attention to them is what you need to — do. We ran out of space. We couldn't invite anybody to come. It was so full. — We didn't know Why have a revival? We can't cram one other body in here. We're jammed up all — the way. We found property on Interstate 10 in 171. It was the most perfect property in the whole world, and everything was absolutely wonderful. And — all of a sudden, my husband can't. It's this, you know, preachers can get along without without a lot of — things, but a voice is pretty necessary, you know, unless you just sign to people. — for six months. I think it was that he did not really preach a — sermon. Sounds good. Came here. First engagement he accepted. I think it was in Dober with the Trouts. — Got a blood clot. Couldn't even do that. — Then immediately after that, he was preaching the senior youth camp here. — And at night when we would go back to the little um place that they have for evangelists, he was in such excruciating pain that he spent most of his night on the — floor. And our buddy, best man in our wedding, good friend and pastor said to — him, Merl, the minute you get home, go see what that is that's making it hurt. — Well, when he says that, you go. And he did. — and he went and the doctor came out and he told me, you know, what it was. He thought he told me how big it was. It was a tumor. — So then we go through the surgery and then we find out that it was um it was a cancer in the colon and the doctor — showed us his fist and he said about this size and he said um it was lymphatic and we discovered it was — non-hodkkins lymphoma and there's not not not a bunch of cures for that. — That's like all over you know what I mean? And then his dad went into the hospital. By the time he had gotten out — for what we thought was routine gallbladder surgery and the day before we thought we would bring him home the next, he just dies. That's it. And even — while he was in there, my husband was back in there with kidney stones. And it just kept crashing and crashing and crashing and crashing until finally when — I would come from Moss Bluff over the overpass, instead of looking over there to the right at that big 10acre piece of property, I would turn my — head because the price was too high and I didn't want to look at something that cost as much as that — did. But we got it built the word of the Lord and we moved and listen carefully and we marched. It wasn't — about three blocks, but the visibility was quite different. We marched from the old church to the new one and we cut the ribbon and we went through the ceremonies and we walk in and I looked — around and the bottom floor was almost completely full. And I said, "Oh God, we're so tired. Do we have to build again?" — Well, that vision was shortlived. We had paid for the — property and intended to pay for the church in five years because we could have with the congregation and the way — things were going. We'd be debtree, could build again. And just as we got in — there, the bottom fell out. The oil crisis hit. People were putting bumper stickers on the back of their cars. The — last one out of Lake Charles, turn out the lights. And that negative spirit came over into the church. What do we got this big thing — for? The secretary and I counted at one time, head count out of the church phone book. — 300 people out the door. They were looking for jobs all — over the United States. There wasn't nothing in Lake Charles and they were gone. And we were standing there with — 300 people exiting. And that's not the only time we counted. There was more than — that with a note monthly between 14 and $15,000. Now, we heard through the

— grapevine that we went bankrupt. And we heard several times that we had lost the church. — But last September, two years ahead of schedule, we burned the note. It's — debtree and we own all the property around us except two little pieces and we're negotiating with them and then we'll have the whole triangle. That's kind of the way it happens. — But you know, sometimes you just have to hang on when you don't even know what you're hanging. — You don't even see a cobweb in your hand. You're just hanging there. You're hanging on space. that I guess maybe — it's because God fills all space that when you're just grabbing for space. — It's you're safe and you're there. — We saw a lot of dreams float down the river. Doctrinally — strong. That was the Euings. Got it all together. Yeah, we — did. And then our son said, "We're going to Denver." And they — did. He wasn't gone a very long time. The children flew — in. And then we met his plane. — He had been working in a charismatic church. This isn't the Euings. You understand? There's something wrong with — this picture. And when he walked into the — terminal, I saw a man that was suddenly a little boy again. Only this time, there was no — anticipation in his face and there was no light in his eye. — He was a man who had been crushed until there was nothing left. He was ground to powder. The hope — was gone out of his eyes. He tried to smile, but it was empty and his hair was a little bit — long. But I hugged him because that was my boy. — And however he had come broken, bruised, almost — disintegrated, he had come. And at that very moment, all that — mattered was that he was home. And we would take the pieces. — Thank you. I'm just going to rush on through your response, but I appreciate that so much. He was here and we were going to take the pieces that were — left and we were going to try to build a life — again. It hasn't been real easy, but it's — working. And the promise is still intact. It's still there. I remember one day when I was praying for him before he — went over there and I said, "Stop this, God. I'm just yelling. You know how we do." And God said, "Wait a minute. Give — him to me." I said, "What do you mean give him to you? I gave him to you when he was born." I was adamant. — I said we had a public ceremony and I had a private ceremony in — Alexandria in a little trailer in the back of the Mangan's yard and I personally handed him to you and told — you to do whatever you wanted to do. He said I said hand him to me. I said, "Well, I thought I did." He — said, "No, hand him Oh." I said, "Oh, you mean get my hands — off?" And I took him off. And I just stood there while I watched him flounder and break and fall and shatter. — And I looked at the devil one night and I said, "I'm going to tell you one thing, buddy. If you've had anything to do with this, you going to live to regret it. — I think he has cuz you know what? He couldn't even testify when he left.

— Thank you for sharing. And when he came back, he sat in the balcony about two years repenting and crying and you know — whatever. He's made other mistakes, got up, kept going. I'm like, my God. — We're all going, you know, we're here. I guess you can see that I don't have on a mask today, can't you? Have — you noticed I don't have one on? It's painful to take them off. It's risky, — too. But, you know, when I hear him talk, it's different. It's different. It — was like this truth that was handed to him this way. — It didn't mean what it should have meant. But when you get into strange land and you're looking around and you're floundering and you're — remembering, I remember my daddy. I remember I remember I remember Tom preaching and I I remember, oh, this — don't sound like that. I God, I got to get back. You see what I'm saying? And a lot — of times this happens to you maybe in a different way, but you have to be it happened to me. You have to be ground to — powder for him to start over with tears and new clay and remake a new — vessel. And he's doing — it. And revival fires are burning. They're there. They're coming in. — They're getting the Holy Ghost. They're getting baptized. And this ain't even the half of it. Now this is what that's right I want to tell you that you must — be careful of sometimes you cannot — recognize the answer to your promise when it comes. You see, I didn't used to have as much empathy as I needed. — I wasn't quite as tolerant as I needed to be of the fallen. — I didn't quite know how to respond because I had a formula and it — worked and I knew it worked. And God said, "I'm going to show you something, — Joan. It's not your formula, it's — me. And now I have no problem hugging the — broken. I don't have a problem with that. But when the answer comes to you, be sure you recognize it. — A lot of people have walked past their promise and ignored it. Some of them have not recognized it and they've gone — on looking and searching for something that was really there all the time if they never knew it. — Caleb and Rachel were sitting down slumped in their easy chairs by the small hearth one night and he said, — "Man, this has been a day." Woo! A successful day monetarily, yes, but man, I'm tired. She said, "It's okay, Caleb. — The hotel's full and we're in good shape now. Let's drink our tea." She said, "You know what? I'm so sick of the — Romans. I get so tired of this rule. I get so tired of them requiring — things of us and pushing us down and suppressing us. I wish Messiah would come. God, I — wish he'd come. He said, "Well, Rachel, he will come because the prophet said that he — would." And the prophets can't lie, Rachel, he's coming. I haven't. Oh, we may not see it and our children may not — see. Oh, she said, "Don't even tell me that my children have to live here without a Messiah." He said, "Well, I don't know. I just know he will come, — but be careful." Oh, no. Oh, no. Not another — one at this door. Excuse me, baby. I'll be back. Yes. Hello. No, sir. We don't have — any rooms. No, sir. We're sold out. I'm so Oh, yes, she is. Isn't she? Oh, you don't look like you have a — lot of time. I tell you what, I have a stable in the backyard. And you can stay there. It It isn't good, but it'll take — you out of the cold. You'll be out of the weather. I'll call the stable boy. — And he did. And he closed the door. And he sunk back in the chair and the tea was lukewarm.

— Now, what was that? Ka Caleb was a man wanting a room just like everybody — else did today. Where'd you put him? In a stable. Oh, you know what, Rachel? His — wife was pregnant. Very pregnant. And at any minute, her baby's coming. What? You put him in this table. Rachel, get real. — We don't have another room in this hotel. If it's a woman having a baby, Caleb, she could have had my bed. — Rachel, you can't take in strangers. You just don't ever know who you're entertaining. You've got to be — careful. We got kids to think about, you know. You're right, honey. — You're always right. I don't know who it — was. But they're on our premises and they were sitting in their — chamber in the temple and they were talking about the Romans because everybody talked about the Romans. That was a good subject because people love negative subjects. — And so they just kept talking about them and beating them down and saying how horrible they were. And Nicodemus was sitting over in — the corner and he said, "You know what?" He said, "When I hear conversations like we've been engaged in today," he said, "I just want to grab all the scrolls and — just hug them to myself and see if I can hear Isaiah and see if I can hear the prophets saying that a Messiah is coming. It seems so long, but you know, — we're going to get us a king, men, and we can't give up until he gets here. And they said, "Well, I know, but look at — the Romans, and when is the king coming?" And Nicodemus said, "Um, you know what? I feel like he's he's close." — I They said, "You mean like any time now?" And he said, "No, close proximity." — And about that time, a kid stuck his head in the room and they laughed and they said, "You mean like the kid over — there?" Nicodemus didn't laugh. He said, "Come in, boy." And the boy came in about 12 years old and he started asking — questions and nobody knew the answers to the questions cuz he was confounding them. These were the scholars of the — day. These were the ones that should have known but didn't know. These are the ones that should have recognized but — didn't recognize. These were the ones that were looking for but couldn't see. — And then a female voice said, "Jesus, come here." And he said, "I got to be about — my father's business." And they said, "Who is his — daddy?" And one of them said, "You know, I don't know. I saw him running around outside with Joseph and Mary. I I guess he I guess he belongs to that carpenter. — I don't know. And he walked out the room — and they said, "Boy, that was a kid, wasn't it, man? I never saw a kid like that." Right. But you didn't know him, did you? — Then he grew into a man and there he was doing all kind of things that were nos in their religious — society raising dead people. You don't even touch the dead and come to the temple going around putting his hands on — lepers and sitting on a well and talking to a woman been married five times and shacked up with somebody that didn't belong to her hanging out with — prostitutes and forgiving an adulteress and eating lunch with sinners. What kind of a man is — this? He walked on the hill one night and he looked over and he said, "Jerusalem, I wanted I wanted to hold — you like a hen in the brood, but I you wouldn't let me." — So, you didn't know me, did you? You just didn't know — me. Pilate said, "I don't find anything wrong with him." And they said, "I don't care if you don't. We do." He said, "Well, what do you want me to do with — him?" He I don't find a fault. They said, "Well, just crucify — him." He said, "Okay, bring me some water. I'm washing my hands of this matter." And I don't want his blood on

— me. And they said, "Let his blood be upon us and upon our children." And it — was. And it is because they asked for — it and from a hill in excruciating — pain. He was done now. He had come and he was going, but he had finished — it. And in an exaltant, exaltant voice, he said, "It's finished. — The thunder liked what they saw and they clapped and clapped and clapped and clapped and the light show came and the — lightning streaked the sky but the sun was embarrassed and hit her face. Earth is too shameful for me to shine on. — And then the enemy of the Jews, the intruder into their religious — system, the one that oppressed them, the one that pushed them down and taxed them beyond — limits, gave the answer and recognized and he said, — "Surely this here, the spear, I just put — this spear through the son of God. — Oh, sorry. We never knew that. It's easy to — do. Your promise can come and you'll never know it. Give me revival. Give me — revival. Who is that? It's a drunk. Well, he stinks. — Who's that coming in that other door? My god, she looks like she's so high. She don't even know which planet she's walking on. Look at her eyes. — They're gazed over. Look at the tattoos on her arm. What do I smell? The bus just — unloaded. And a bunch of kids that stepped over broken beer bottles and dirty dishes and dirty clothes, stuffing — vanilla wafers in their mouth to suffice until they could get to church. and get them some Kool-Aid are coming in your — church. They stink, huh? They misbehave, right? They're tearing up your stuff. I — just got this place built. And Marinel and Lenel have just got this place looking like a palace. How dare you come — in here and mess up my What? What did you ask for? — vital. — I was trying to tell God one day why I wanted him to save my brother. I said, "My mother and daddy live for you X — number and we, you know," and he said, "Wait, John, I don't need to hear all that stuff. I already know that." He said, "Your — brother does not need any credentials for me to find him. — He only needs one. He just needs to be lost. And I — came to seek to save all — those that were lost. — So cheer up, ladies.