Return To Me - Part 2

We started last week a new series that I titled Return to Me. We've been doing a deep dive into the book of Malachi. For those that have been in the church world or raised around church, especially apostolic church, and someone says we're going to the book of Malachi, everybody's like, "Oh, he's going to talk about tithes and offering." And you know, that's in Malachi chapter 3. But there's a lot more to the book of Malachi than just tithe and offering. And hopefully you realize that if you were with me last week as we started through chapter 1, seeing the burden that Malachi had been given by God. In fact, it started that way. Said in Malachi 1:1, the burden of the word of the Lord to Israel by Malachi. Last week, I talked about how that was a weight that he was carrying. And it was important to realize this was not Malachi's opinion, but this was something that God had laid on his heart. And he was wisely anticipating how it was going to be received. He made statements and said, "This is what God says, but you say this." In other words, God's given you a command, and you managed to always come up with an excuse. You ever been around somebody like that? They were never able to receive a correction. Even when they were dead wrong, they always had an excuse as to why they did the wrong thing.

Are you sitting beside that person right now? I'm just No, don't point. Don't get in trouble. So, Malachi knew. He knew the heartbeat of the people. He knew what was going on. He knew that he was going to meet resistance when he began to dive in. Tonight, we're going to we're going to go on and continue into chapter 2 because in my opinion, I feel like whoever was canonizing the Bible put the chapter marker at the wrong spot because we he kind of continues on in chapter 2 with this same vein of thinking. But I want you to know where I'm headed tonight is last week we talked about how important it was to make sure that when we came into the house of God, we came in truly worshiping God, not being sidetracked, not getting caught up in our thoughts and our to-do list and our activities, which is easy. And I admitted to you that I'm as guilty as anybody about having spent time in a church service and when someone was teaching or preaching that my mind drifted away and I allowed those thoughts to entertain for a while when I shouldn't have. I should have corrected myself. I should have said no, the word of God's being taught. I need to pay attention. So, it's not uncommon that that happens. What is our responsibility is when we see it's happening and when we're find ourselves drifting is to do something about it because God's serious about loving us and he's serious about wanting us to love him in return.

Not to give lip service, but to come into the house of God with our minds and our hearts prepared to truly worship him. >> Amen. It's important. So, we're going to continue on with where we are. But I want you to know tonight I want to talk about returning to God with our family. And hopefully by the end of this, and I'm really excited to unpack this one with you guys tonight. Hopefully by the end of this one, you'll have a better understanding of why the enemy fights so hard to break down marriage, how he doesn't like it, because of what marriage represents to God. So, I want you to walk with me through this, but in order to get to where I want us to go, we kind of got to go up and over the mountain to get there. So, my wife has agreed to help me read a little bit tonight. Chassity, would you read Malachi 2:1? >> And now, O priest, this commandment is for you. >> In chapter one, he was dealing with faithless worship. And in chapter two, he exposes what happens when we continue to have faithless worship in our life. like where it leads to because what begins at the altar eventually shows up at the table. In other words, what you do and how you act here will directly translate into what goes on in your house.

Worship is meant to carry on not just in the sanctuary, but also throughout your day, your walk. And you're also supposed to be worshiping at home. I'm going to get two amens there are. Amen. And amen. >> Amen. >> Yeah. You know, you can worship at home, right? Did you guys know that? >> In fact, I I've been involved in some pretty powerful moves of God in my own living room, >> and the only one that was present was me and God. So, if you haven't ever tried that, let me encourage you. Just have yourself a worship service by yourself now. Cut a little worship music on your phone. Use this for something good. >> Turn on some worship music and just get lost in the Holy Ghost and have yourself a little church service there. You know what? You can sing. You can take up your own offering. You can preach your own message. And you can amen the message. What a great day. Some of you guys should try that. Let me know how it goes. Malachi 2. Malachi is dealing with this. And I want you to know this was not just a gentle correction. Okay? This was a serious warning. God speaking very plainly. You're going to pick up on the tone here in verse number two. Chassis, read verse two for us. If you will not hear and if you will not take it to heart to give glory to my name, says the Lord of hosts, I will send a curse upon you and I will curse your blessings.

Yes, I have cursed them already because you do not take it to heart. >> Did you pick up on that? That wasn't one of those verses that you're probably going to needle point and stick on the mantle. That was a pretty hard one right there. God is saying basically because you did not lay it to heart because your heart has not been postured correctly before me. In other words, in today's language, because you have refused to give me the attention I deserve. You have other things that have preoccupied your mind. Other things are taking the place where only I belong. Then he goes, I will send a curse upon you. Not only that, I'm going to unpack this a little bit. He says, "I will curse your blessings." Now, that isn't something that you hear preached about often, is it? That isn't the , you know, make you feel good about yourself kind of sermon. That's that's a sermon where God's like, "Hey, I have some expectations. There's some things that I desire from you. I don't want to play second fiddle. I don't want to be second to anything in your life because your heart is not posture right, I'm going to get your attention. Has anybody ever had God get your attention before? Oh, man. Oh, man. He's real good at it, too. He has a way about him about bringing you back to realize what's really important in life.

God says the issue is not ignorance. You know what you're supposed to be doing, but you refusing to do it. They they had become very mechanical in their service. They had become very routine. They're very they they were very obedient in going through the motions, but their heart was not engaged in what was going on. I alluded to this last week. If you've been raised in an apostolic church, been raised in Pentecost church, or if you've been around us for a little bit of time, it's easy to pick up on the routines of a worship service. And we can come in with the burdens of the day. And I feel like if there's ever a service that this is something that we fight the most, it's midweek service, right? We we come in here and we've been cold and the heat's on now. We're getting warm and we're kind of settling in. And some of you look like the old turkey. You know, you got your neck kind of nuzzled down in there. Before you know it, pastors gets a little bit monotone and and your eyes begin heavy and all of a sudden you're starting to think about what you got to do tomorrow and what you got waiting on the home and the laundry and the to-do list and and what has happened is it wasn't intentional, but yet because you were not being intentional, your heart's not engaged.

Now, this has been going on for some time, and Malachi's trying to bring their attention back to where it needs to be. He's letting them know God's not pleased with you. He's upset because you are basically just going through the motions, and the motions don't mean anything to him. Just raising your hands and saying his name doesn't mean anything if your heart's not engaged. He wants to be engaged with you. And I said this last week, and I'm going to ask you again. Have you ever been a part of a conversation when you know the person you're talking to is not listening? They may be nodding their head. They may even be looking at you, but they're not listening to you. Do you enjoy that conversation? No. What do you You pretty much want to just stop the conversation or ask them is there I'm sorry. Is there something more important going on because it's evident you are not engaged here with me? We don't like that. So we should not be surprised that God does not like that they were doing the right things without the right heart. Paul talked about this in Ephesians 6 and six six and six. Not with eye service as men pleasers but as bondervants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart. You can do a lot of things for God but if your heart's not engaged what are you doing?

>> What are you doing? You need to have your heart involved in what goes on. When service becomes shallow, ladies and gentlemen, the consequences become severe. This is a message that was very, very clear. God requires wholehearted devotion and genuine reverence when we're talking to him. That's why we should never be casual when we say his name. >> It should still mean something. >> When you're talking to God, it should be something that's different than any other conversation you have. There should be a reverence and a respect and all that we have for God. God warns that he will curse their seeds and their crops. And this matter deeply because the priest lived off a tithe of the harvest. No harvest meant empty tables. Empty tables meant God was withdrawing provision. God was making clear half-hearted devotion invites fullcale consequences. Now people want to argue with me on this and they say that's just not not what they feel like God is like. Well, I mean, you're entitled to your opinion. You have a constitutional right to be wrong. I don't know how you read scriptures honestly and come away with any other conclusion other than he is a jealous God. >> He makes it pretty plain. He doesn't hide it. He doesn't use some kind of flowery language. He says outright, "I'm a jealous God." He desires your devotion. He's a God of love.

I'm thankful. He's a God of mercy. I'm thankful. He's a long-suffering, but make no mistake, he is a jealous God. And his desire is to have all of you. Not part, but all. It gets even deeper here. Paul Paul said in Galatians 6:7, "Don't be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever a man sws, he will also reap." This was playing out in this moment. And this is what Malachi was bringing up that you guys are not doing what you need to be doing and God is not pleased. Therefore, he's going to get your attention. Now, that comes a little bit sobering. I want you to listen as Chastity reads verse three. Read the words. Think about what he's saying. >> Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts, and one shall take you away with it. I don't know about you, but spreading dung on your face, I mean, even as a beauty secret. I've had dung on my face before because we were playing football out at the Clark Farm and I fell and got dung on my face, rather fresh dung. Wasn't it wasn't a great moment for me. Stayed with me for a while. In Israel, the waste of the sacrifice, according to Exodus 29, was to be burnt outside the camp. They had directions. Dung represented impurity. God here threatens to disgrace the priests by covering them with the dung of their own sacrifice.

I think he's being pretty plain about how he feels concerning their heartless worship that I take the waste and spread it on your face to hopefully get your attention about how much I don't want you to do what you're doing. Remember last week I said in chapter one he said, "Oh, that that that someone would would would would to shut the doors. I don't even want you to come into my temple if this is what you're going to do. I'm not even going to receive your worship. Chapter two, he goes a little deeper and says, I'm just going to smear it on your face. This was not cruelty, ladies and gentlemen. This was correction. And it stands as a warning anyone is entrusted with the leading of worship that we need to take it to heart. We should never just go through the motions. If you're only going through the motions, then don't get up here and do that. God is not pleased. Paul says it plainly in 1 Corinthians 10:12. Therefore, let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he falls. There was a lot more at play. And this is what Malachi is trying to get them to understand is their routine going through the motions was causing them a hardship and frustrating God in the process. We're going to see as she reads verses 4-7. Then you shall know that I have sent this commandment to you, that my covenant with Levi may continue, says the Lord of Hosts.

My covenant was with him, one of life and peace, and I gave them to him that he might fear me. So he feared me and was reverent before my name. The law of truth was in his mouth, and injustice was not found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and equity, and turned many away from iniquity. For the lips of a priest should keep knowledge, and people should seek the law from his mouth, for he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts. >> So God's reminding them what the priesthood is for and talks about how it was when it initially started with Levi. There was a covenant that was there, but they're breaking the covenant, and God is frustrated and upset. He's willing to keep his part, but we're not holding up our end of the bargain. Ezekiel brings this to light, too, in Ezekiel 44, talking about how that this was a privilege. This was a sacred trust thing, but they were turning away from it. Verse 23 of Ezekiel 44 says, "And they shall teach my people the difference between the holy and the unholy and cause them to discern between the unclean and the clean." But these priests were no longer doing that. And the people were walking away from God. And God's bringing it back to them and saying, "Look, this is your fault. You're causing my people to stumble.

They're they're supposed to be coming and learning from you, and you're not doing what you're supposed to do. You're not you're not having proper reverence and respect for your position. Verse number eight of Ezekiel 44 says, "And you have not kept charge of my holy things." Listen to this. But you have set others, see that word there, to keep charge of my sanctuary for you. You're not even doing your job. You've subcontracted it out. You got foreigners in here trying to conduct worship service. They had delegated their responsibilities to foreigners and individuals who lacked the knowledge and more importantly the respect they were supposed to have for the position. These outsiders were marked by their wicked wickedness and they were bringing the world into the church. They were the ones that the priest had oversee had set to oversee the duties that were there. And God's like, I reject what's going on. I monumentally reject this. I'm not pleased by what you're doing. Malachi shows up and shows us a sobering truth. Corrupt leaders and compromised people often feed each other. In other words, as the ministry goes, so goes the people. That's why it's important that those of us who are involved in leadership positions, we never take it casually. It's always serious business what we're doing because as leadership goes, as ministry goes, so goes the church. That's why we got to m maintain our commitment to God and what he has for us.

So the priest goes. So we're going to see in verse number 10 as he continues to talk to us. We have we not all one father has not one God created us. Why do we deal treacherously with one another by profaining the covenant of the fathers? >> I love this because now he widens the lens. Like he's been talking so far about those in leadership positions, but now he's like it's beyond this. He he's he's holding leadership to a to a standard and talking about how they failed. But this is going deeper now. He's heading out to the people. He's heading out to the congregation here a little bit further. This is no longer just leadership. It's it's a covenant betrayal that's going on within families. Malachi begins addressing marriage. And what he says is so heavy for us. Listen to these words in verse number 11. >> Judah has dealt treacherously and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profained the Lord's holy institution, which he loves. He has married the daughter of a foreign god. >> I'm just going to tell you right now, anytime you're reading the scripture and you run, you run across the word abomination, you need to pay attention. You need to pay attention. That's serious business. This is something that God is upset with at the highest degree. And I'm just going to say this about abominations.

He hasn't changed his mind. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If it was abominable then, it's still an abomination now. Did you catch the language there? You have profaneed the Lord's holy institution. Now, for the next little while, we got remaining time. I want to talk about the sacred covenant of marriage, what God has instituted with it, and how the enemy has done everything he can to destroy it. And I hope you'll understand just how important this is in God's eyes. This was not, ladies and gentlemen, about ethnicity. This was about faith. Scripture never ever ever has condemned interracial marriage, but it has condemned interfaith compromise. >> Right? >> You hear me? Ruth was the Moabitete, married Boaz because she embraced Israel's God. But scripture repeatedly shows the danger of marrying outside the covenant faith. It talks about being unequally yolked is for those that are outside the faith that are there. Numbers 25, First Kings 11, First Kings 16, 2 Corinthians 6. I'll go into detail and talk about this. Marriage, ladies and gentlemen, is never. It is never say never. >> Never. >> Marriage is never casual with God. >> It's serious business. It is a holy covenant tradition with him. always has been, always will be, regardless of what culture and society has done with it or even how they have tried to define it. It is not for culture or society to define.

It is God's institution. He defines it. He sets it in order. Anything outside of his definition is out of bounds. It's serious business. Marriage is sacred, divinely established, loved by God, and it reflects his covenant with his people. And what he's talking about here is some hypocritical worship that's going on at the altar. Chastity, read verse 13 for us. >> And this is the second thing you do. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying. So he does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. >> So after betraying their wives, these men come to the altar weeping. They cried and they prayed and they bring their offerings. And from the outside, it looks spiritual. It looks like they're repentant, but from heaven's perspective, it's offensive. Did you see that? You got all this? But he doesn't regard their offering no more, nor does he receive it with goodwill from your hands. God outright rejects what it is they're trying to do. God says, "I no longer want it." Not because he's cruel and not because he's distant, but because he sees the heart. Their tears, ladies and gentlemen, were not tears of repentance. They were tears of consequence. And there is a difference. They were not grieved by their sin. They were grieved with the loss of comfort, favor, and blessing. It's like us who have had the pleasure and joy of raising children.

There have been times, I'm know for every parent in this room, when the child was sorry they got caught. They were not sorry for what they did. Many of you, including myself, have been in situations when I was sorry I got caught and wasn't sorry for what I did. This is what's going on here. Remember, he's talking about heart problems and how it started with leadership, but leadership because of where they were and how they were misleading the people, it fed out into the congregation. And now they are not fulfilling their obligations and keeping their covenants inside of marriage and they're coming to the altars to pray and offer sacrifice. And God's like, I don't want it. I wholesale reject what you're doing and I do not receive it because you're not doing it from a sense of true repentance where you want to turn from your actions. You're just sorry that you got caught and the tears that you cry are tears of consequence and not tears of repentance because repentance without change is not repentance. They wanted relief without repentance. They wanted restoration without responsibility. They wanted God's help without God's holiness. And God says, "No, no, you're not going to get it." John the Baptist made this unmistakably clear. Matthew 3:8, he says, "Therefore, bear fruits worthy of repentance. You cannot live in rebellion and expect a blessing on demand." Repentance is not just sorrow.

Repentance is not just emotion. Ladies and gentlemen, repentance is not crying on an altar and then returning to the same sin. True repentance produces fruit. It changes direction. It alters your behavior. He restores what was broken. That's true repentance. You cannot live in rebellion and expect blessings on the man. God is not a vending machine where you insert tears and out comes a blessing. He is not moved because you're emotional. And I know people who can whip up tears in a heartbeat. I may have one or two of them living in my house. I mean, they can just cry on demand. And from the outside looking at it, you want to have compassion. What's going on? But is it truly repentance? Because true repentance bears fruit. It changes you. Here is the way to Malachi's warning. These men were crying at the very altar where their wives had been crying out to God in pain. And God says, "I'm hearing them pray because they're broken because you're leaving them. And then you want to come to the same altar and pour out your tears of consequence here. I don't receive it. The altar had become soaked not with worship but with injustice. And God says no. How we treat people determines how God receives our worship. Always has. Always will. Always has. Always will. I know. And this I'm just going to say this, you know, because I've been raised in this and I feel like I may be a little bit qualified to talk about it, man.

Pentecostal apostolic holiest people can be some of the most mean people in the world. I mean, you can you can look holy. You can do all the things. You can look this and your dress is down, your hair's down, and all the stuff that's there. All this you look the parts but when you spit the grass sizzles I mean just junkyard dog mean I mean just because you look the part don't mean anything if inside you're full of bitterness and hatred if you can't find a place where you can genuinely love people. That's what God's looking for ladies and gentlemen. Like when you come down to the altar and you have all that bitterness inside of you. He's not going to receive what you have until you work on you. Now, again, there's another sermon there and there's a process to work through those things and and God can help you. And there are some situations that are that are they're extreme, some situations that have a lot of a lot of layers to them that God will walk with you through that process. And and the church is here to walk with you through that process. But I'm I'm telling you as a whole, if you can't love people, how can you love God? If you can't love the ones you see according to the word of God, how can you love the one you don't see?

>> I mean, this is basic Christianity 101. You got to love people. >> You cannot mistreat those around you. I'm going to get a little little more specific. You cannot mistreat your spouse and expect heaven to applaud your sacrifice. >> Y'all okay? >> So, I'm going to get a little deeper. I'm gonna pull my britches up. Peter addressed this in his letter 1 Peter 3:7 reading from the New Living for a little bit of today's language. In the same way, verse number seven, 1 Peter 3. In the same way, your husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not what maybe heaven's quiet because you're being unkind because you're well pastor if you knew what I live with. Well I'm you know I'm sorry I don't know what you live with. I know what I live with and I know what she lives with and what she lives with isn't always good. We all have bad days, but that can't be an excuse. That can't be a reason why I don't do my own heart checking. I'm telling you, I'm going to get a little deeper before this is over with. So, you might as well keep your toes out there.

I'm going to step on all of us tonight. If we can't get the basics down, >> heaven gets quiet. >> Because God's not going to be mocked. Marriage is sacred and it belongs to him. >> If your private life contradicts your public worship, God will not be moved by your tears. And that's not harsh. That's just holy. God does not reject the brokenhearted, but he does reject the unrepentant. Tears do not lead to obedience or repentance. They are simply regret. There's been people who have frustrated themselves because they are desirous to be filled with his spirit, but they won't truly go through the process of repentance because they justify why they hold on to the feelings they have. Again, there can be a lot of reasons why that goes on, and I'm not underplaying that at all. And and again, I' I've preached and taught a lot of stuff about finding finding ways to work through that, having God help you do that. And we got good, godly, Holy Ghost fililled counselors that can help you work through those things. But that is not an excuse just because of how you feel to not repent. And you may have tears of regret, but that is not repentance. Malachi makes it very clear. Here's a note for you. God will not bless what we refuse to surrender. So again, God's the witness here. Let's go on.

I want to chasty read verse 14- 16. Yet you say, "For what reason? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But he did not make them one, having a remnant of the spirit." And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously. >> People ask this question, it reveals to me their heart that is there. For what reason? In other words, they're basically saying, you know, God, why won't you accept our worship? Why are you not responding to us, God? You see what we're doing? We're here. We showed up. We're on time. We we we we we were there. We didn't forsake the assembling of ourselves. Why doesn't it feel like heaven has showed up? It feels like everything's just silent. And God answers them with one sentence. It changes everything. And he says, "Because I've been the witness. You may fool everybody else, but you're not going to fool God. You may pull the wool over everybody else's eyes around you. You may everybody convinced that you're the best thing that ever was, that you're the you're you're right up there with Jesus Christ when it comes to perfection.

But the Lord says, "I'm the witness. I know I see what you have done. I know your intentions. I know where you've been. I know where you have done, what you have done and what you have not done. Marriage is not a private arrangement. Marriage is not a legal contract. It is not just an emotional bond. Marriage is a covenant that God stands in the middle of. >> When vows were exchanged, God was present. When promises were made, God was listening. When the covenant was formed, God was the witness of the covenant. This means when a spouse is mistreated, ignored, betrayed, or discarded, God does not see it as a private matter. He takes it personal because it was more than just the two of us that made the arrangement. But she and I stood before God and he was the witness of the vows we took in the covenant to each other. And he's the one that holds us accountable for what we committed to each other. So when I break that or she breaks that, it's God who's upset, it's God who shows up and says, "No, no, no. I was there. I heard the words. I heard the promises. You don't get to just back out of them now because it's inconvenient for you." Again, before you turn me off, let me continue unpacking this because there are circumstances and situations that do come into play.

But I'm telling you how things were set up. Now remember, I told you from the beginning for you to have a proper understanding of why the enemy fights so hard against marriage. There's a lot more play than we put into the mind most of the time. God says that's your companion, not your accessory, not your convenience, not your option, but your companion. And more than that, they are the spouse of your covenant. This is not casual language. Covenant means binding. It means sacred. It means holy. It means God honors it. He's looking for you to fulfill it. When someone deals treacherously with their spouse, they're not just breaking a promise to a person. They're violating a covenant that was made before God. That's why God speaks so strongly about this. It's why God made them one. Malachi says and ask a very powerful question. Did he not make them one? Two come together and they become one flesh. And we talk about all the implications that are there and all those implications are right. But more importantly, we dismiss what God says when he made this statement that is there is that when he views you in a marriage covenant, he views you as one, committed, connected in covenant relationship with each other. And the language gets stronger. It's deep stuff. You guys okay? >> Yes. >> Can I go deeper? >> Did he not make them one?

Yes, but not by accident. God made the husband and wife one because he's seeking something. He's seeking godly offspring. Marriage was never meant to be a temporary companionship. It was designed to create stability, safety, and spiritual formation. Strong marriages produce strong families, and strong families produce godly legacies. Strong families produce kingdoms. It's how it moves forward. When marriage is broken, the children pray the price. When covenant is treated lightly, the next generation suffers. That's why God says, "Take heed to your spirit." Notice that phrase is repeated multiple times. Take heed. Check yourself is what he's saying. You're so caught up in your emotions and how things are not going again. There's again I I know there's abusive situations and extenduating circumstances and there's there's there's reasons that are listed in scripture why divorce is is acceptable in God's sight. But I want you to know from the very beginning he's pretty plain about how he feels about it. That is never his intentions. There are times when it is necessary but it is never God's desire. His desire is always reconciliation if at all possible. But if not, there are some instances when it does take place. But he's always coming back to remind you, take heed of your spirit. Where are you at in this? Because the covenant failure does not start in a courtroom. Covenant failure starts in the heart. God says he hates divorce because it covers one's garment with violence.

These are not words that are spoken lightly and the image matters. A garment was meant to cover, protect, provide warmth, but now instead of protection, it's stained with harm. Divorce turns what was meant for care into a source of pain. It takes what was designed for unity and tears it apart. Listen to me. Listen to me close in this because I know this is a sensitive subject that touches people in this room tonight. Listen to me. This does not mean God hates divorced people. It means God hates what divorce does. >> God hates the wounds it leaves. God hates the betrayal it represents. God hates the damage it inflicts on hearts, homes, and children. That's why Paul echoed this truth in Ephesians 5:28. When he who loves his wife loves himself. I'm going to say that again. God does not hate divorced people. He hates what divorce does. He loves you. He loves you. Someone needs to hear that tonight. God loves you. He hates what the enemy does through the process of divorce because it breaks down the covenant. It was never meant to be that way. And again, things can move past that. And I will say this, divorce is something that takes place in time. And there's a lot more I can dive into that that I don't have time for tonight. But I want you to know divorce does not disqualify you from heaven.

Are you guys okay? >> I'll say it one last time. He does not hate divorced people. He hates what divorce does to the family. It tears down. It's a struggle. It's hard. He hates the wounds, the betrayal, the damage. Marriage is not 50/50. If someone says it's 50/50, that's never the way it was intended to be. It's 100 100 always has been, always will be. It's 100% of devotion on both both sides of the line for husband and wife. Anything less becomes self-preservation instead of self-giving. So, I'm going to go into it a little bit so that you get a better understanding. This should be some convicting stuff to every one of us in the room, but especially to those of us who are married. Listen to these words. Ephesians 5:22-28. Chastity >> wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Paul now is pulling back the curtains and he is showing us that marriage is far more than just a human relationship. Okay, remember stick with me for the next few minutes because this is going to be really good. But this is deep and I hope that you can see why the enemy fights so hard to destroy marriages. It's a divine picture that is being painted. This passage we just read, it's unfortunate. has been misunderstood, misused, and yes, it has been weaponized in the church. And I want to say for every man and woman of God who has misrepresented this passage, I want to say from a ministry standpoint, I am sorry it has been misrepresented. But I want to do my best tonight to accurately portray all God intended as he moved upon Paul to write these words so that you understand what this means. So stick with me. When we read this correctly, it does not diminish either spouse. Instead, it does the opposite. It elevates both. Paul is not describing dominance, ladies and gentlemen. He is describing responsibility because marriage brings into it responsibility. Submission is not inferiority and headship is not entitlement. Both are forms of sacrifice when they are done godly in the way he intended them to be. Wives, he talks to wives.

He said, "Submit as trust, not weakness." Paul says, "Why is there to submit?" As the church submits to Christ. Listen to me. That phrase matters. The church does not submit to Christ because it's forced. The church submits to Christ because he is trustworthy. >> Did you catch that? It's not out of force. It's because he was trustworthy. So, there was a willingness to submit that was there. Is not something that was forced upon them. is something that they willingly said yes. Why would I not? Because you have proven yourself to be trustworthy. Biblical submission is not silence. It is not fear. It is not losing your voice. It is a willing alignment rooted in trust and love. And that kind of submission can only flourish when a husband is walking in Christlike love. Listen to me men. And husband spends far more time. Paul spends far more time talking to husbands than he does to wives. Cuz we're hard-headed. And a lot of times we're idiotic. I didn't say that for a laugh. I said it because it's serious. He says, "Husbands, love your wives." Think about that. He's had to remind you to love. Why? Because there's going to be sometimes you're going to be tempted not to love her because she may or may not have gotten on your nerves. How though? How? He says it just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

This is the standard. This is the standard. Not cultural love, not emotional love, not convenience-based love. Listen, listen to this truth. Jesus loved the church when she was imperfect. Jesus loved the church when she was broken. Jesus loved the church when she was undeserving. He loved her and he did not diminish or demand submission. He earned it through sacrifice and proving himself to be trustworthy. Biblical headship means you go first in repentance. >> You go first in humility. You go first in forgiveness. You go first in laying down your rights. This the kind of love that cost you something. And when you do that, submission will come. >> Not because you demanded it, because she realizes she can trust you. Sanctifying love is what's required, not selfish love. Paul continues and says that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. Jesus's love doesn't just accept us. It transforms us. Again, this is a divine picture. Paul Paul's getting it right. God's moving on him and he's writing this down and it has been so misrepresented and misused and weaponized throughout the ages of the church. Shame on anybody that does that because this is a beautiful picture and portrait of God's love for the church that is shown up in marriage so that he gives us a visual representation of exactly how it's supposed to be when it's done right.

>> Husbands are not called to control their wives. Listen to me. Listen to me. They are called to create an environment where holiness can flourish. It does not mean perfection. It means protection. It means the words that we should use. We should be able to build up and not bruise. Our leadership should cover and not crush. And our presence should bring safety, never fear. A husband's role is not to dominate. It's to disciple. to understand the responsibility men that we have. It's a weighty matter. It's not a casual thing. That's why those who only marry for the sake of their feelings and their emotions often times find themselves being very frustrated years down the road when let's be honest, time and gravity are not the best mutitionians. Because we were so captivated with looks alone and never built anything further and we misunderstood the role we were supposed to have. We don't know our place. And then all of a sudden we become demanding of what we think we're do and we take the word of God and turn it into something and pervert it into a position it was never intended to hold. This is what was going on in Malachi's feeling led by God. Says, "I don't accept your offering. I don't accept your tears because you didn't understand your responsibility. You don't know the role you're supposed to play. Paul brings it home.

He says, "So, husbands, you ought to love your own wives as your own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." This is covenant language. When you harm your spouse, you harm yourself. When you neglect your spouse, you weaken yourself. When you honor your spouse, you strengthen yourself. Marriage is not two lives running parallel. Marriage is one life shared in covenant relationship. That's why marriage requires moving from me to we. So, it's this great mystery unveiled. Later in the chapter, Paul says something very stunning. He says, "This is the great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church." He's talking about marriage. He's explaining the roles of husband and wives and our responsibilities and our obligations and how we are to interact with with each other. And then he says, "Well, this is a great mystery I speak of concerning the church in Christ, how God loves us and how we're to love him in return." Marriage, ladies and gentlemen, is a living sermon. It is meant to show the world what Jesus Christ is like. when it's done right, it's a beautiful picture of his love for the church and the church's love for him. And the enemy hates it. He hates a godly marriage. He hates a godly home because when he looks at it, he knows exactly what it represents. So guess where he's going to fight the hardest? Guess where he's going to try to sew seeds of division and discourse in marriage between the husband and wife to try to do whatever he can to cause there to be something there because he knows if he does it then he causes there to be a disgraced and disformed and disfigured image of Christ in the church.

So it is his chief obligation to destroy the family unit to redefine what marriage is to come against that holy sacred covenant that was established long ago. It's God's. It belongs to him. He defines it. It's not open for interpretation or to be redefined by anyone. It is sacred and holy and God honors it. And it is always meant to be a picture portrayal of his love for the church. >> It's meant to show the world what he's like. How a husband loves his wife tells a story about Jesus. How a wife responds to her husband tells a story about the church. Strong marriages preach powerful gospel truths. As I get ready to bring this to a close tonight, scripture tells us that there are really only two representatives of man in human history. The first Adam and the last Adam. Now stay with me, okay? Don't get lost in the next couple of minutes. Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 15. He refers to Christ as the last Adam. And and again, this is a deeper study than I have time to get to tonight, but I'm I'm going to give you a little fly over here just just to maybe seal what I've been talking about tonight in your minds and in your hearts. In the Garden of Eden, when Eve took the forbidden fruit, Adam was not deceived. Scripture tells us clearly that Adam knew exactly what he was doing.

It was Eve that ate. And Adam made a conscious decision. In essence, the first Adam said, "If she's going to die, then I will die with her." Sounds noble on the surface. It looks like loyalty. It looks like love. But the tragedy is this. Adam chose the gift over the giver. God spoke to Adam. He gave instructions to Adam. He was the head of the household. He went directly to the head of the household. She was deceived, but she came to him. He knew the response he was supposed to have. He knew what he was supposed to do. But instead, he says, "If you'll die, I'll die with you." It was not nobility. It was selfish stupidity. Jesus looked at a broken, fallen, spiritually dead bride, the church, and chose not to join her in death, but to rescue her from it. He did not share our guilt. He carried it. He did not participate in our rebellion. He paid for it. He laid down his life as a substitutionary sacrifice. This is the heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And that's why marriage finds its deepest meaning in redemption. Marriage is not just companionship. It is a picture of salvation, ladies and gentlemen. And that's why the enemy can't stand it. A husband is not called to fall with his wife. He's called to lay down his life for her. A wife is not called to save herself.

She's invited to respond to sacrificial love with trust. This is why Paul ties marriage directly to Jesus Christ in the church in Ephesians 5. Because marriage preaches the gospel when it reflects redemption instead of self-preservation. Never are we more like the enemy than when we are consumed with our feelings and what we feel like we deserve. That's not heaven language. That's hell language. So be very very careful when you find yourself in the middle of a disagreement of always trying to qualify how you feel and what it is you feel like you deserve. Again, there's there's extenduating circumstances. I know. And there's there's always outlying circumstances. I I get that. I'm not trying to downplay anybody's hurts or pains or things that you've went through, but I'm telling you that's never the way it was intended to be from the beginning. And God created it as a picture perfect painting of his love for the church. That's why you don't go haphazardly into marriage. That's why I'm not a big fan of people, I'm so in love, we're going to get married. Better to marry than to burn. >> Well, just as long as you understand all that you're signing up for because it's a covenant relationship. >> I feel the same way about that as I do about people who get baptized that don't understand why you're getting baptized. You got to hate somebody to baptize them without them having understanding because they're going to be held to the to the covenant that you are baptized to.

The first Adam failed by choosing comfort over obedience. The last Adam triumphed by choosing sacrifice over comfort. And when marriage reflects that kind of love, it becomes more than just a relationship. It becomes a living, breathing testimony of Jesus Christ's redemption power. >> That's why strong marriages matter. >> That's why I tell you all the time that we're an apostolic church, growing apostolic families. Why? Because it matters. It matters. It matters. It's important to God. Now, for my real ending and returning to God in our families, it's not about rules. It's about a covenant. Strong families are built on sacrificial love, faithful commitments, God- centered relationships. Marriage is a living sermon. And when families return to God, homes become altars again. And God is pleased. And when a sacrifice is laid on the altar, the fire falls. Why? Because the heart is right. Again, it's not about perfection. It's about obedience led by a heart that desires to be close to him. This is what Malachi was doing. God moved on him. Remember I told you Malachi 101, the burden of Malachi. He was so moved he come in knowing, look, this is not going to be an easy discussion because I'm going to tell you what God says and you're going to say, "But but but but but." But he went back for every rebuttal and took them back to what the word had to say, what God had already established.

The very thing that you and I are going to be held accountable to is his word. And the very thing the enemy tries to use to cause us to doubt is his word. That's why you need to know it. >> You need to hide it in your heart. You need to let it be a lamp to your feet and a light to the path that you walk every day. As you stand with me tonight, I know this come across heavy and hard, but I don't know how you read Malachi and walk away from it not being very serious in what he's doing. Marriage is important. I'll say this one more time for those whose lives have been impacted by divorce. You're not disqualified from God's love. God loves you. God loves you. Just know it was never his intention. It probably wasn't your intentions either. I know that. I just need you to walk away knowing he hates divorce, but he never hates you. He loves you. He will walk with you. He will restore you. He will work with you and bring you back into a right relationship with him. Will you let me pray with you tonight? Jesus, I'm so thankful, God, for what we felt tonight in this room and for the truth that we've discovered that's in your word. I pray God that we would be mindful, those of us who are married, that it's important how we treat each other, how we treat our spouse, God, to to align oursel with the truths that your scriptures lay out before us because our marriage paints a picture.

It's a living sermon to the world of your love for the church. God, give us the courage to make the changes we need to make inside oursel and the strength to hold on to the truth that you are Lord of all in every area of our life. go with us as we leave this place tonight. Keep us safe. Bring us back this weekend in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. God bless you.