Connection Series: Forgiveness - Pastor Brad DeLong

you can be seated so thankful to be in the house of the Lord with you all tonight and was talking to someone just before service and they said you know we notice you're always so excited whenever you're in the sanctuary I said well there's good reason for that but there is something about it's not I don't think it's just an extrovert thing but when you come in the house of the Lord the psalmist said I was glad I was excited and maybe you weren't excited when you cross the threshold but there is something about being with brothers and sisters that causes you to want to

lift your hands and to glorify the Lord and I'm so thankful to be back with you all and I'm thankful for the connection within the body this uh connections what we're talking about this month our unity and we started that last uh Wednesday night our connection series and it is critical we certainly need one another and need one another's help Paul stresses this fact in the in the text we heard last week Bishop talked about this Ephesians 4 among other places and I'll have you uh read it with me if You' got your Bibles Ephesians 4 verse one he says I therefore the prisoner of

the Lord I beseech you to walk worthy of the calling in which you were called and he says to do that with all lonliness and gentleness with longsuffering that we need to bear with one another in love and we need to Endeavor to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of Peace he said there's one body and one spirit and then he just keeps using the word one over and over and over again just as you were called in one hope of your calling one Lord One Faith one baptism one God and Father of all who's above all and through all and in

you all apostolics were like yes one seven times you can't get better than that but I want to remind you that this is talking about the body and unity of course it is we we do have such doctrinal depth here uh but here's how the message paraphrase puts this all right uh none of you have the message I know that but uh just listen anyway with your ears I guess that's the only way you can listen he says in Mark that you will walk with humility and discipline not in fits not in starts but walk steadily pouring yourselves out for each other in Acts of

love and and I love this alert at noticing differences quick at mending fences with one another he says you were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction so stick together both outwardly and inwardly that's pretty profound that's just straight to the point so we're told we're talking about our connection series to make every effort to do what we're doing both tonight and this month to strengthen the unity that's among us and that Unity is non-negotiable it's as fundamental and essential to a church as anything as is the subo of unity we're going to discuss tonight in this session which

is the critical component of connection known as forgiveness everyone say forgiveness forgiveness is our subject for tonight do you know that the word forgive alone appears over 120 times in the Bible forgive told our our class Sunday a quote from a professor of mine he said if the Bible talks a lot about something we probably should pay close attention to it I think that's a good rule of thumb We Major on the mayor Majors minor and the that doesn't mean that we don't ever look at the minors all right we need the whole counsil of God but if the Bible says something frequently we should

pay attention and that Rings true for this subject tonight one that has such Eternal weight and implications I want to Define forgiveness from the outset forgiveness is simply the release on the part of the Creditor or off offended party the release of any expectation that a debt will be repaid or that an offender will receive punishment for an offense a condensed definition of forgiveness is just to release a debt to release it another description uh of forgiveness is found in a song that happens to be one of those I call it an earworm uh if you listen to Joy FM or otherwise it probably May

circulate every once in a while now but it seems to just get stuck in my head uh For Better or For Worse it's a song by Matthew West it's called forgiveness anyone ever heard that one forgiveness by Matthew West yeah I don't know what it is about that song but I'll be singing it for like a week and uh whether you like it or not the lyrics are very compelling and I want to discuss a few of the definitions given within this song he does have a way with with words and crafty uh lyrics but I love the way he describes forgiveness in the first

verse he says forgiveness it's the hardest thing to give away and the last thing on your mind today it always goes to those who don't deserve it how of you would agree with that forgiveness tends to go to those who don't deserve it anybody I think you'll find that it does second verse says even when the jury and the judge say you've got a right to hold a grudge forgiveness is the whisper in your ear saying set it free think about that how does forgiveness set free of course it releases a debt but probably more to the point who does it set free anyone have

a want to venture a guess yourself yeah it does release to the other person to an extent but I think it he's alluding to us and he says this in the bridge it'll clear the bitterness away it can even set a prisoner free there is no end to what its power can do so let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of Grace The Prisoner that it really frees is you it's very powerful and it's also very true the chorus of that song says a line it's interesting to me it just kind of Paints the picture of forgiveness a rational picture

he says help me to do the impossible which is forgiveness truth is many things about living for Jesus they're they're not natural to us in fact some things kind of go against every inclination we have forgiveness I would contend it's one of those things it's not natural it you've got to make a decision to forgive somebody it isn't uh in any way really natural but it is necessary in our Christian walk it it might seem impossible to some it may feel unnatural but it's not optional it's critical for our connection with one another it's critical for our connection with God as we'll see in a

moment another truth is that somewhere along the line in your walk with God and your life as a whole someone's going to hurt you let's just break the eyes from how many you ever been hurt by somebody you're going to be raising your hand a couple times tonight that's all right you've been hurt yeah someone's gonna someone's gonna offend you someone's going to say something to you or about you that something that stings and causes harm even within the confines of the hospital that is the church people make mistakes even the pastor makes mistakes oh yeah yeah heaven forbid yeah he does I can tell

you I know him he makes mistakes people get hurt in hospitals even though we don't condone it we don't make light of it we don't belittle it it is simply the combination of people in sin a combination that has existed from almost the beginning and of course we have an obligation not to sin and not to hurt our brother and sister there's some Choice words in the Bible for those actions but but one look at the Bible and one look at Paul's letters and one look at life in the early church would tell you people are going to make mistakes and they're going to miss

the mark So this concept and an action of forgiveness it's so critical to a church it's critical to our connection it's critical to a Christian walk I don't know uh I don't have the statistics for this but it probably be tough to be a Christian for a year much less 10 years without forgiving somebody I don't know if that even be possible forgiveness is just a part of our walk it's necessary it's commanded it's mandated it's not even up for a debate as long as we are still people and this mortality has yet to put on immortality as long as we have these in our

mouths unruly members in our mouths there will be the need for forgiveness forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind but it's absolutely critical in the life of a Believer and a child of God we're going to look at Mark 11 couple vers in succession here about forgiveness Jesus is instructing his disciples about prayer but in verse 25 he says and whenever you stand praying if you have anything against anyone forgive him that your father in Heaven may also forgive you your trespasses now zoom out think about the context he says anyone most likely including the Roman soldiers standing nearby you got to consider

their context and where they're at at this point in history they've been oppressed and brutalized in many way anyone forgive them but if you do not forgive neither will your father in Heaven forgive you your trespasses Colossians 3 says therefore as the elect of God holy and beloved put on Tender Mercies kindness humility meekness put on longsuffering that's a word that we don't talk about a lot and one that's really hard to live but he says put it on bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another even as Christ forgave you so you also must do there's so

much in there but I digress Ephesians 4 verse 32 and be kind to one another tenderhearted forgive one another even as God in Christ forgave you notice in just three three okay did you notice there always seems to be a reminder in these calls for forgiveness that you and I were also forgiven anyone else noticed that I'm sure there's any number of reasons for that in my own mind I wonder if the Lord and the the writers it they added it just in case we considered not giving forgiveness at some point they probably know how difficult it is so they say hey just as a

reminder you were forgiven as well it's like everywhere we turn the word reminds us of the debt that we owed and how he canel it so so we have both the power and the compulsion to cancel it for others and then we have this in Matthew 6 and5 for if you forgive men their trespasses your heavenly father will also forgive you but it says plainly if you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your father forgive yours Luke 6:37 says the same judge not and you won't be judged condemn not and you won't be forgive or condemned rather forgive and you will be forgiven

give and it will be given to you good measure pressed down shaken together and running over will be put into your bosom for what the same measure that you use it will be measured back to you and we talk about this verse quite a bit when it comes to finances and sacrificial giving and rightfully so but the context is also tied to forgiveness and I have to imagine the principle would apply that the same amount of Grace you give to others measured back what you give including Grace maybe measured back to that's pretty compelling I need to start upgrading my measurements I want you to

notice all these passages use very strong terms especially this next one Matthew 18:21 this is actually where Jesus uses a little bit of hyperbole to essentially let Peter know that there's never an excuse not to give okay verse 21 then Peter came to Jesus and said Lord how often shall my brother sin against me just an honest question and and I I forgive him is it up to seven times Jesus said to him I don't say to you up to seven times but up to 70 times seven you kind of get a glimpse into Peter's mindset here especially with this gestate how often he should

forgive I almost see him asking well Lord how many times I got to forgive this guy are you are you thinking like seven times and that's kind of like his threshold he's probably being generous like I can go up to seven but if he does at eight like I'm done we're done done it's over and the Lord just kind of bursts this bubble and says no 70 times seven Pete again he may be using some hyperbole here uh so he doesn't appear to be saying exactly 490 times is the absolute limit but even still uh New Testament scholar Craig Keener he says this 70 time

7 or some interpreters read 77 doesn't really specify 490 or 77 here with a with mathematical Precision it's TP rather he says it is a typically graphic hyperbolic way of Jesus saying to Peter never hold a grudge ever Peter might have thought that his offer seven times was generous until hearing Jesus's further expansion in other words you ought to forgive them as many times as he would forgive you which is obviously not the easiest thing to do it might be unnatural to for give someone and if they cut us off in traffic twice much less can you imagine 490 times the same car I had

a car there was a there was a lady and I I I I'm ashamed but my family knows I took a video because she made me miss the same stoplight every morning over and over again I think probably five times she would on her phone and didn't see the and I was just sitting there like and at one point I just got to laugh and okay there's probably a reason I use traffic analogies oh Lord help me I've forgiven her all right I've forgiven her where the rubber meets the road I think there's a reason Jesus had to use such strong terms with this command

maybe the lady in that SUV tested it you know he knew Jesus knows how difficult it is for us he knows how difficult so he remind reminds us of the debt that we all owe to him to help us he's not holding it over us because he's fully forgiven us but he is reminding us you notice also he never gives it as a suggestion or a proposition that yeah I think it'd probably be good for you to forget it's always just a command and an imperative it's a scriptural mandate and command repeated over and over again we're called to forgive which as we said just

means to cancel the debt we cancel the debt that someone owes us by their offense or their transgression we completely cancel the debt that someone owes us through their conscious or even subconscious transgression what that means by definition is I cannot say I've forgiven someone if I still call for their debt to be repaid or or their so-called pound of Flesh to be paid off if I cut them off in retribution that's not forgiveness if I retain and harbor offenses or I attempt to collect on their debt or or maybe I hope that they get pulled over by a police officer down the road that's

not forgiveness it's not if there's any portion of the debt that I still require to be repaid it's not been fully cancelled forgiveness has not been fully offered what this looks like in our setting our context maybe something like this well I'll forgive them but well I'll let it go but I I'll let it slide this time but when I put stipulations on the cancelling of their debt I've actually just replace their debt with more debt essentially I'm saying I forgive them but they've got to earn my forgiveness that's not how forgiveness works now I will say the relationship the interaction may look different trust

may take time to be earned again trust is something to be earned again forgiveness is not forgiveness is rarely if ever earned forgiveness is also often a process that takes multiple releases of the debt but it's just that it's fully releasing their debt in your need for Retribution it cancels the payment that they should have paid while calling to mind the payment that I should have paid to him I know that it's it's tough and these offenses and wounds make it so difficult sometimes to move on and to let things go in fact some might even say well that that's just unreasonable but they would

also say the same if they looked at the debt that every one of us owed to Jesus and the one he cancelled for us this is really the Crux of the matter you could make the case that absolutely no one deserves true and full forgiveness including the one who harmed you and me including me and yet Christ did it anyway and now in the same fashion but on a much smaller scale compared to what I've done to him he calls for his followers to do the same for others this is a Hallmark of connection and unity what we're talking about this month it's also the

standard of forgiveness that Jesus set for the rest of us in the word of God we learned this directly from the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18 and I've recently just poured over this text and and chapter and its implications it's it's pretty profound we're going to look at this together immediately after Jesus tells Peter 70 times 7 he cites this Parable and he starts in verse 23 he says therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is is like a certain King who wanted to settle accounts with his servants I noticed that language there this is one of a few times that Jesus mentions the

master coming back to his servants in settling accounts in other words he says Hey listen let's meet and I'm going to settle all your accounts we're going to see what you did with what I gave you and we're we're going to settle some debt that you have he mentions in Matthew 25 uh this settling of accounts in both cases the master comes back and calls the servants forward to see if they had fulfilled his commands and requirements something that we may experience ourselves someday before the master and it says and when he had begun to settle accounts one was brought to him who owed him

10,000 talents but as he was not able to pay his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children and all that he had and the payment be made the servant therefore fell down before him he said Master have patience with me and I'll I'll pay you all and that's all it took then the master of that servant was moved with compassion released him and forgave the debt that's all it took for you he's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness this is really all the master required at least in your interaction with him

was for you to say I am so sorry I Repent would you please forgive me and that's what he does notice here sin and forgiveness are often associated with financial debt in the Bible and especially in this this Parable One Source noted it economic debt is a frequent metaphor for for wrongdoing for the state that results from wrongdoing for that reason that the concept of forgiveness in many of these passages is expressed by Jesus and others in that day they do it in financial terms in this case 10,000 talents which as we'll see that was quite a debt and I want you to notice it

shows you how Jesus views our sins and the extent of our debt says in verse 28 but that servant went out and he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred Dinara and he laid his hands on him he took him by the throat saying pay me what you owe I want you to notice Jesus's description of someone who will not forgive this is how Jesus painted them as someone who would go out and find their fellow servant now the debt was legitimate he's not saying that they didn't owe a debt and again we don't condone the debt we don't uh uh

the you know condone the mistake and try to sweep it all away Jesus even acknowledged it that was a 100 days wages that he owed him the hurt was real and and and that person had messed up they hadn't paid yet but he paints this servant who will not forgive as one who will take his own fellow servant by the throat and demand payment that's apparently how Jesus viewed this unforgiveness and he doesn't stop there but this picture of unforgiveness grows worse and worse the servant goes further and further in his unforgiveness it says in verse 29 so his fellow servant fell at his feet

feet and begged him saying have patience with me and I will pay you all it's the same exact appeal that he gave to the master and he would not but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt I was thinking about that I'm like that doesn't make sense how is he going to pay the debt in prison and the experts would agree it was a non-starter you can't work and pay debt from prison it shows you the cyclical nature of unforgiving forgiveness there's a no win scenario they would never be able to repay it so that unforgiveness would never be able

to be repayed that's the reality there's no way for anyone to repay for their sins we we cannot expect that the unmerciful servants now caught in this no- win scenario of unforgiveness and I don't want to say more than what the scripture is saying here but unforgiveness usually doesn't have a resolution and if it does have a resolution it's res solution is just death it's cyclical as the situation of a man who owed a debt could not pay because of his imprisonment because uh because he has a debt he can't get out of prison and because he's in prison he can't pay the debt you

get it there's no way so when his fellow servants saw what had been done they were very grieved unforgiveness tends to grieve everyone around you and they came and told their master all that had been done then his master after he had called him said to him you Wicked servant I forgave you all that debt because you begged me should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you and his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him again now he's in a very hopeless situation when

it comes to Eternity here's the conclusion one that would have just hit the original hearers and us right between the eyes so my heavenly father also will do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother brother is trespasses that's pretty plain I understand Jesus was still using some hyperbole in this Parable as he did many times to prove a point but he was not using hyperbole when he wrapped that Parable up by saying you have to forgive if you want the master to forgive you to further put this in perspective you have to realize we've talked about this a

time or two that the worth of those 10,000 talents would have been astronomical in that day especially compared to that 100 dinar Craig Keener says that 10,000 talents probably represented more than the entire annual income of the king the master probably more than all the actual coinage in circulation in most Kingdoms at the time 10,000 Talent he said in one period the silver Talent represented 6,000 drmas or uh 6,000 days wages for an average Palestinian worker that's one Talent so 10,000 talents would have been roughly 60 million days wages in one period and up to 100 million days wages in another this is how Jesus

usew the debt we owe although taxes were high in those days especially for Rural peasants one of the historians reports that the annual tribute From Galilee in Pera under wealthy King Herod was only 200 talents in a year perhaps 600 more from other territories it was conceivable no one could be in that much debt but us right Jesus is proving a loud and intense point to everyone within ancient Judaism who often viewed sins as debt before God and you and I also get the point the servant representing us was forgiven such an enormous death you none of us live 60 million days I don't know

what the actual amount of days 3 6 I'm not gonna do the M it's not 60 million we can't pay it we can't but he paid it for us and we're called to forgive a debt was much smaller in scope and size and that does not mean there's there's no debt to be paid by someone else but they didn't harm you there was a debt there was a transgression there was a wound there was an offense if you will but that offense was trivial in line of the debt that was canceled by the king and likewise we sinful Humanity have a tremendous need for forgiveness

we can only receive that forgiveness from Jesus there's there's no other way to pay off our insurmountable death but when Jesus forgives us his forgiveness is total the master set the man free and forgave his death that was unreasonable that's the point didn't make sense for the king to forgive billions in debt and and more wages than the king would make in a year but thank God he did it anyway it makes no sense that I should get off scott-free it really doesn't but I thank God he did it and because we've been forgiven so completely Jesus requires the same forgiveness from us toward others

who have wronged us it just paints a clear picture of how Jesus views forgiveness in our responsibility especially when we remember that even if we've got to forgive someone for several things or for the same thing over and over again 490 times plus he says yeah let me ask you show hands again anyone ever made the same mistake twice anybody what about like five times anybody all right now we're getting to some brass TXS no pun intended how many of you have ever hurt the same person more than once anybody truthfully I think I've hurt our Master more times than I care to admit so

we can all agree we're imperfect beings prone to making some mistakes that being the case somewhere along the line either you or someone near you is going to make a mistake and they're going to say something or they're going to do something to hurt you or you hurt them at some point maybe even multiple times when that happens we have to remember our responsibility to forgive just as we've been forgiven ourselves and we need to remember that if we're faithful to forgive others of the instances when they've wronged us we can be confident Jesus will forgive us from our mistakes and trespasses on the other

end if we withhold that forgiveness we are essentially guaranteeing that he will withhold forgiveness from us as well and tonight I I recognize I'm I'm speaking speak to the choir some of you have practiced forgiveness for decades but the fact remains that hurts and offenses will come Jesus promised us that it's one of the promises we don't like to talk about I'm claiming God's promises I'm gonna get hurt but it only takes one offense one wound to get festered by bitterness and unforgiveness for the entire being to be overcome and eventually infected for some maybe this lesson will help with some ongoing offenses and hurts

ones you're already caring for others maybe it'll help you when those hurts come your way but either way the truth remains forgiveness matters to Jesus Jesus is serious about forgiveness our sole recourse as we follow him is that when we've been wronged we simply need to forgive and I know that's easier said than done sometimes it takes a while but we have to forgive no strings attached no plan B no contingencies no contractual loopholes there no Escape causes we forgive Ephesians 4:32 again and be kind to one another tenderhearted forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you forgive one another just like God

in Christ forgave you that is a tall word but it is possible forgiving someone doesn't mean that what they did was okay just like what we did to him was not not okay it means we're releasing that offense so we're not bound by unforgiveness and I use that word bound there intentionally because many times we think that when someone wrongs us there's just this subconscious reaction that we can hold that offense over them and somehow this will affect their lives they owe us a debt so I'll just I won't even say anything I'll just hold it over them the unintended side effect of that is

when we don't forgive and we don't do what we're commanded to do we're the ones Bound by it that person's living their life they're having a blast and we're the ones stuck we've all seen this first hand brother Reaver mentioned brother Raymond Woodward and we're praying for his granddaughter but I remember him being here years ago and he said the three most powerful words we could live by in Pentecost Let It Go and he even sang a song associated with that my daughter loves that one Let It Go forgiveness is a spiritual and difficult decision to let go of the adbt and the offenses and

our right to retribution I I saw this at work a couple days ago it bless my heart um like most other kids every great once in a while our two oldest kids get in a a spat or disagreement every once in a while in this case the perpetrator will remain nameless but they had harmed their their sibling hurt their feelings everything settled down and the the one who had been hurt said to the other said you need to say sorry and it struck me as funny when that apology was demanded I wondered how sincere that apology was actually going to be you know but it

was offered anyway even if begrudgingly and the response of that upset siming it just got me right in the fields they you need to say sorry sorry I forgive you it was like it was like they were sitting there chopping at the bit to say I want to forgive you I know this is just over someone getting slapped in the face who knows but I had the thought and the feeling this evening someone is here or watching and you have been wanting to forgive and you're probably realizing just now how much you are ready to forgive I hope you get the apology I really do

but even if you don't let it go you don't have to carry that any long set them and set yourself free and when you do remember that in forgiving them you are fighting and contending for Unity and connection you're doing God's work some of the best work you can do by making every effort to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond peace you're honoring and obeying the master and you are giving Grace that may be unmar by their action but Grace that is entirely merited considering your actions and mine this is the E Essence rather of forgiveness that I am giving Grace and

before I get into a couple practical steps and we close this out I want to remind you of the alternative to forgiveness it's called bitterness we're going to talk about some of this in the coming weeks but it's rightly been said that bitterness is the poison that you swallow hoping it kills someone else bitterness is the poison you swallow hoping that it kills or harms someone else bitterness simply put it's poison it's a direct result of unforgiveness someone that may be here tonight that maybe you're holding on to some offenses from the past you may have already told yourselves well I'm not bitter that that's

the extreme case I'm just hurt I'm I'm just wounded I'm just scarred you know the Bible calls it a root in Hebrews a root that doesn't seem all that extreme I got a little weed growing here but it's going on under the surface those maybe the case it may be that you're not bitter but I encourage you ask yourselves a couple questions okay now these don't all mean that you're you're bitter but this means that you could have something working under the surface how often do you think about that offense do you get angry when the person's name is brought up or when they walk

in the room is there a slant against them in your mind do do you intentionally find ways to avoid intera inter acting with that person one of the authors I got this from a couple years ago I found this list that helped me tremendously just gets into some pra do do you get jealous do you get irritated when the person experiences success or blessings do you ever think about getting even with do do you have conversations with them in your mind or maybe even out loud laying out all your arguments have you allowed a root or bitterness a foothold in your life I again not

all of those if you answered yes are a guarantee for bitterness some point directly to it others are just warning signs whether you have true bitterness or not you're called to forgive how do we do that okay we're going to spend the last couple minutes typically it starts with a conversation with god Mark reads this when you pray forgive those are tied together it's really hard to forgive if you don't pray anyone ever forgiven and not not pray no one's going to say no one's going to raise their hand there is really I don't know if it's if it's Poss it probably is but it's

increasingly diff difficult Jesus included it right in the middle of the Lord's Prayer this forgiveness forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who've trespassed against us so many times the process of forgiveness begins with prayer when we get along with Jesus and we get real with him about the pain and the wound that we've experienced this often entails just being open and real with God telling God exactly what happened how it made you feel it happens when we allow God to begin to work in our heart and begin to heal us from that pain sometimes he's got to dig real deep and you need

to give him time and I encourage you to do this as many times it's necessary until you feel that you have released that debt and canel it completely in the presence of God or even in the presence of that individual I stress that this can often be a process and there are times there's indiv ual in the room including me that have found myself praying prayers like this Lord I'm so upset and angry over this I need your help to process it I want to tell you that I release it Lord and I want to release it help me to forgive you may have to

pray prayers along those lines over and over and over again it's worthwhile prayer Jesus included it in the Lord's Prayer so I think it's pretty perent just like anything that forgiveness involves a choice it's not just an emotion it is an action to forgive is a verb that requires a definite Choice it's also more than just saying the phrase I forgive you how many of you did that with your siblings I forgive you I forgive you no you didn't my siblings are laughing over there because I did it all the time you said it but you didn't mean it it has to entail a change

of heart Jesus said that if you don't forgive them in your heart has to be a deliberate choice to release that person of all debt and give up your right to retain that debt you you can't make them earn that forgiveness I think it's important to not the Bible does not stipulate someone has to apologize before you forgive them it's ideal but it never says wait till that person comes and then doesn't what happens if they were somehow to never be able to do that do you carry it forever no even more likely what if they have no idea that they wronged you do you

carry it until they they miraculously find out no forgiveness does not have to be earned it doesn't even have to follow an apology it's offered freely I'll say again trust must be earned but I also say that we don't have to wait until we trust again in order to forgive that person you may wait a long time for that but forgiveness can't wait so whether they've earned it or not whether they deserve it or not whether they've apologized or not we offer forgiveness we choose to let it go we cancel the debt we we terminate the list of ordinances that we may have against them

we choose to forgive couple other very practical notes for those in the room that maybe feel like you can't forgive that person it's obviously a dangerous place to be and I suggest that you start to pray for that person that hurt you Matthew 5 he says you've heard that it was said You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy I say to you love your enemies bless those who curse you do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you that's strong pray for the one who doesn't just use you but spitefully uses you that you

may be sons of your father in Heaven for he makes his son rise on the evil and on the good and sends rign on the just and the unjust pray for those who owe you a debt because of their great sin and their transgression against you now of course I I don't add to scripture but I'll say from personal experience you may need to pray until you feel love and mercy and Grace for that person pray for them until you want nothing more than to be reconciled pray until you want good things for them and dare I say maybe until you want better things for

them than you do yourself and in case that seems unreasonable I point you to Jesus and stepen both who when Jesus is on the crosses they don't know what they're doing God forgive them stepen says the same while they're stoning him I honestly there's been times when that unforgiveness manifests and usually it just takes a couple of those reminders about men like Jesus remind me that I can do this pray until you can forgive them until you can truthfully ask God to forgive them in the same way Jesus and Stephen prayed for the Forgiveness of those who tortured and killed last thing the thing we'll

talk about in a couple weeks go talk to him Bible school during a pastoral care and counseling class Dr Ericson said in his estimation 90% of all conflicts are resolved when one party goes and talks to the other this is what the Bible tells us to do in Matthew 18 and we're going to walk through that in a couple weeks biblical model and mandate it's difficult it's diff it's it's very difficult but it's the right approach to forgiveness with all that in mind tonight I I encourage you to do what needs to be done whatever you got to do to forgive those who have wronged

you those who've trespassed against you again knowing and remembering the great debt and Jesus doesn't hold this over our head but he does tell us don't forget I forgave you so you need to do the same remember the debt we've been freed from the responsibility we have Let It Go forgive cancel it offer grace and mercy don't drink the poison of bitterness and unforgiveness that will kill you and ultimately if you need it get help if you have or having a hard time forgiving I noted earlier forgiveness is important to God which means it ought to be important to us and with this admonition this

scripture this lesson in mind I wonder if you just stand with me right now and it might be that most of us in the room don't have anything that comes to mind or maybe we we do have a prior experience and we can thank God for for that forgiveness or it might be that you're in this room and something immediately comes to mind and you're thinking man uh that touch a nerve here's what I want us to do I'd like us just to pray that the Lord would help us to forgive like he forgave that that would be our standard of forgiveness there's plenty of

other standards of forgiveness or unforgiveness out there but I'd like us to pray that the Lord would give us strength the grace the help to forgive others like he forgave us can we do that together I wonder if you'd lift your voice with me right now oh God I'm so thankful for the Forgiveness that you have given to me and I'm thankful for the Forgiveness between brothers and sisters and and the body Lord that's already existed thank you for every single testimony of forgiveness that's in this room Lord even the most extreme we honor you and thank you for the debt that you paid on

our behalf and Lord we're asking that you would help us give us the strength oh God to forgive whatever debt may be uh against us Lord and may be taken away from us whatever hurt whatever offense oh Lord we know oh God that your grace and your love and your mercy according to your word are able to cover them all and now we pray and ask you Lord for wisdom we ask you for your love and your strength oh God we ask you to help us to walk us uh through this process of forgiveness as long as it might take we look to you and

your word for direction and strength and help we thank you now in Jesus name in Jesus name truth is as long as there's a church filled with people like me there's going to be a need for forgiveness so why not just settle in our minds whether you're walking through it or not right now that I'm going to choose no matter what to forgive our forgiveness and our connection is critical it's worth the sacrifice and the struggle at times it's certainly worth the time we're taking this month to discuss it and to strength I'm so thankful I so thankful for the connection and the unity that's

in this church family and in the body and we're going to we're going to work on it all the more we're going to continue this series going into next week and and the week following so uh stick around uh make sure that you you come and be a part of that