Connections Series: Matthew 18 - Pastor Brad DeLong

This is the final installment of our connection series. We're going to take a look at Matthew 18. So we're we're diving right in Matthew 18. You can turn there and we're going to look at Jesus's instructions uh for winning our brother for reconciliation. We all want unity and we pray for unity and we believe in unity, but sometimes unity is compromised and we have to take action and we have to contend for it.

I'm thankful for this series and just so you know where we're headed next month, we're going to be talking about uh what thriving means in our vision statement, healthy, growing, and full of love. And then the following month in the month of May, we're going to look at healthy households. So, we're trying to be intentional, if you haven't noticed, about our core values, our mission, and our vision here at APC. We don't want them to just be words on a wall, but those words and those that mission, vision, core values are rooted here, and we believe that they matter. So, uh, connection is of course a core value we're discussing this month.

And we're and trying to just live out these core values, let them drive us forward. Our connection's critical. And because it's so necessary and fundamental, it can be a struggle to maintain and reinforce. Truth be told, unity, I heard uh scholars say that unity or connection, harmony, they don't naturally occur. Now, they might in some uh aspects of nature, but since the garden, really, unity hasn't just naturally occurred amongst humanity.

We kind of tend the other way. Connection doesn't just happen. Instead, when you find people that are connected, a group of people that have connection and unity, someone had to work for that. Someone had to fight for that. Someone had to to sacrifice for it.

And our connection here is no different at APC. I believe it's strong. I believe it is. Our connection has weathered severe tests and trials and and decades of time. It's been strengthened by intentional efforts like we're doing this month.

And how many you notice that our connection has been fortified in the last several months with the things that we've faced and what we've gone through. And I've had the unique vantage point to watch some of the greatest acts of unity and connection and love for another amongst this church and I've ever seen in my 32 years of being here at this church, which is all my years. Okay. Uh it was really truthfully I've seen in the last six months such powerful acts of unity and it it's been it's not just something that's naturally occurred. Sometimes it's a struggle.

Sometimes it's a fight, if you will. And Jesus knew that this fight for unity would be one of the hardest for humanity to endure. So he provided clear instructions on how we're to go about it. And he does that in Matthew 18 among other places. This is going to be the focal point of our lesson tonight.

Tonight, we're going to look at Matthew 18 and Jesus's teaching. And before that time, before we dive into that text, I'll remind you uh that all of these instructions that we're going to read, they have been needed since the church came into existence. And even before that time, if you weren't here Sunday in Bible class, brother Carden did a phenomenal job. He talked about the early church and that we sometimes uh idealize them and we romanticize everything that they did. And then you read about what they were going through and then you look in the book of Acts like what they were fighting over that and Paul's writing and saying stop suing each other.

So these have been tried and tested and if you are facing a fight for connection and unity in your life, you may just be apostolic. Now it's not apostolic to cause division in any way. So, you're only apostolic if you follow teachings and practices that those apostles had to follow, including the ones that Jesus spelled out. So, I told you a couple weeks ago that that this uh offenses will come and Jesus promises this in Luke 17:1. He says to the disciples, he said, "It's impossible that no offenses should come." It's impossible.

Like, that's not all that encouraging. This is one of the promises of Jesus that we don't like to dwell on, but he's like, "Hey, with God, all things are possible, but I will tell you it's impossible that no offenses will come." The word offenses there can mean snare, trap, stumbling block, uh something that may be laid by someone else. It can be translated as temptation or something that provokes a person. But the offense or the wrongdoing aspect is is clear as the verse continues. He says, "Disciples, it's impossible.

no offenses should come, but woe to him to whom they do come. It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck. This is pretty stark. And they were thrown into the sea than that he should offend one of these little ones. Talking about the children around him.

And he says, "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. Respond in some way. But if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, seven times in a day, return or and returns to you saying seven times I repent, you shall forgive him seven times or as we'll see more than that.

Jesus promises us reminds us offenses, traps, snares, temptations, opportunities to stumble are going to come because of the sins of someone else in many cases. They're promised to us. They're assured to us, which is why our response to offense is so critical and so important. One offense can ruin us if we don't respond to it right. One offense, one little thing that you thought would never take you down can take you if you don't respond correctly.

So Jesus knew this ahead of time. He tells us, "Hey, they're coming. You're going to get offended." But then he gives us some instructions. and among other places he spells out what we're supposed to do for reconciliation for unity. He does that in Matthew 5 in the sermon on the mount and he does it in Matthew 18 as well where there's a more comprehensive look at it.

In one of his premier messages though in in Matthew 5 he says this. Okay. You have heard this is verse 21 that it was said to those of old that you shall not murder and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment. But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. Whoever says to his brother Raka, which means empty head.

Kind of a funny, you know, empty head, but in this case, it was a it was a great slight. You did not call someone this term. That they'll be in danger of the council, but whoever says you fool will be in danger of hellfire. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar and they remember that your brother has something against you, not that you necessarily have it against them, but they have it against you. Leave your gift before the altar and go your way first.

Be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly while you're on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge. The judge hand you over to the officer and you be thrown into prison. There was legal recourse in this honor shame culture for dishonoring someone. So he's saying if you dishonor them, don't let it get beyond where it should.

And that'll preach to us. Surely I say to you, you'll by no means get out of that prison until you've paid the last penny. We won't go deep into this particular passage, but it does set up what we're going to talk about. I want you to notice a few parallels with Matthew 18, which we'll read. First, Jesus typically always stresses unity and reconciliation.

That's his goal. Not that you can just avoid prison or the judge. The goal is reconciliation. He does advise against going to court and gives practical considerations, but his stated goal is you ought to reconcile with your brother. And secondly, he expresses an immediacy for going to your brother who has something against you.

Now, Matthew 18 talks about if you have something against them and either way it says you go. You don't have an out in this uh if you look at it. But Matthew 5 mentions, okay, if they have something against you, you go. This forms a foundation for Matthew 18. We're going to read it together.

If you got your Bibles, you can follow along. I'll start it. Verse one. Says, "At that time, the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" They were they were preoccupied with this question. They ask this question all the time.

Who's the greatest? And Jesus calls a little child to them, set him in the midst of him, and said, "Assuredly I say to you, unless you're converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself as this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in my name receives me. Whoever causes one of these little ones to who believe in me to sin, it would be better.

Here's the whole millstone thing again. Better if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Jesus is pretty serious. He uses some shock value here. Woe to the world because of offenses.

For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes, especially to these little one. If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off. Cast it from you. It's better for you to enter life ma or lame or maimed rather than having two hands or two feet or be cast into everlasting fire. If your eye caused you to sin, pluck it out.

Again, that's some gruesome stuff, but Jesus is using a little hyperbole, but he's he's driving at something. Cast it from you. It's better for you to enter life with one eye rather than having two eyes or to be cast into hellfire. Take heed that you don't despise one of these little ones. For I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my father who's in heaven.

For the son of man has come to save that which was lost. This is key. What do you think? If a man has a hund sheep and one of them goes astray, does he not leave 99 and and go to the mountains and seek the one that straying? And if he should find it, assurely I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the 99 that did not go astray.

Even so, it's not the will of your father who is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish. Moreover, which means it's tied to the previous thing. If your brother sins against you, you go, tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established.

And if he refuses to hear them, then you tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen, a tax collector. Surely I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven. Or you loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven.

For two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them. First glance, if you're reading this, if you got headings in your Bible, you may think, "How does the lost sheep parable, children and a brother who offends me go together?" And like I said, with the headings between them in our modern translations and and the understanding that that Matthew may have compiled a couple separate sayings together, we may think, well, that's just an editing preference and these really don't tie together. They don't line up. But on the contrary, if you look closely and if you believe that Matthew had a keen purpose for his editing skills, which I believe, you see a critical thread running through this passage. Namely, you can see God's concern for those who are offended, including children, and you can see his desire desire for reconciliation between the body.

You can also see his concern for someone who has wandered away. One commentator noted the correspondence between the sheep and the little ones and God's concern for every last one of them. That if any of God's children are led astray, he obviously doesn't take kindly to that. He doesn't want his children to be offended or corrupted to use another word. He uses little ones, referring to children, and then he shifts to begin talking about little sheep.

One writer said, "The moral is clear and the implication for the disciple is presumably that he must share God's concern for each little one and not despise any." And then verses 15 and beyond show us what this means in practice. So you got the little ones and the sheep and they tie together. And then you got a sheep who's gone astray and your brother who's offended you and has gone astray and gone off the reservation. Basically, you go find that just like a shepherd will go find that little sheep. you go looking for your brother.

That's the implication and the tie-in. And it might seem to jump a little bit, but but the correlation between the children, the sheep, and then between the lost sheep and a brother who's offended you and in need of you going to look for him, they'll start to jump out at you. Commentator said this said, "It's probably true that verses 15 to 17, 18, 19, 20 were separate things, but they're brought together here in a close connection in which the overall flow and thought is important." This passage may be seen as a guide to to church leaders on disciplinary action. But those verses 15 to 17 are addressed to you to believers singular. The individual disciple and their concern is not with the punishment of an offense but with the attempt to rescue a brother who has whose sin has put him in danger like that lost sheep.

The passage has a practical guide how a disciple can imitate his father's concern for wandering sheep. Craig Kenir adds this. We should keep in mind the whole context this passage uh is mercy and forgiveness. Forgiveness qualifies it does not enol uh the force of this passage. It qualifies the force of this passage on disciplining unrepentant offenders in the Christian community.

But the emphasis is in the hope of bringing back the person that is ired not confirming them in their guilt. Point is your brother or sister or fellow believer might be lost and disconnected from you. And it's your responsibility to go after them and see them reconciled. Does that make sense? That makes sense.

Okay. That's the foundation for this. So if you're reading this, you're like, "Okay, where where are we going with this?" That brother or sister is a lost sheep right now. They're the they're the hundth sheep and Jesus is saying go after them. Just in case it doesn't all line up, I'm going to read to you the paraphrase, not the translation, but the message paraphrase.

Okay? Uh we're going to look at Matthew 18. We'll start at verse 12. Uh in the message says, look at it this way. If someone has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders off, doesn't he leave the 99 and go after the one?

And if he finds a sheep, doesn't he make far more over it than the other 99 who stay put? And our father in heaven feels the same way. He doesn't want to lose even one of these simple believers. So he says, "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him. Work it out between the two of you.

If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so the presence of witnesses will keep things honest. And try again. And if he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over and from scratch.

There's some dispute on the rendering there of Eugene Peterson, but he says, "Confront him with the need for repentance. Offer again God's forgiving love." The goal is to find the lost brother or sister. Goal is always to gain him and win your fellow believer and see reconciliation. This is how conflict is resolved in the kingdom. And this is how Jesus says we're to handle someone who hurts and offends us no matter what the offense is.

I recognize some of this language uh like witness and and treat them like a pagan or a tax collector. Might be foreign to us. Although the tax collector one might work. Treat them like an IRS agent. No, we don't do that.

But I thought it'd be helpful to just spell this out very quickly. This is how it might look in 2025. If I get offended by something a brother or sister says or does, I know these offenses are going to come. Although this offense has really hurt me, after the initial shock, I start to process it in a biblical framework and through the lens of prayer, others around me may say, "You need to get back at them. Evil for evil." That's not how we do it in the kingdom.

And this is critical. One of the first persons I talk to about this offense is Jesus. I talked to two people. Jesus and the one who offended me. Often times Jesus may be the last person I address and I may end up talking to everybody else first and then I'm like, "You know what?

I probably should pray about that after I've ranted and I've called 10 people and they're all mad and they don't even know the other side of the story." Like, I better pray about them. I'm like, "Hey, you know what? I messed up. I I was totally wrong. They didn't even say that.

It's happened. I need to process that in prayer knowing that I also need to be expedient in my response and my response is be judged by Jesus himself. I don't need to pray on it for 20 years. Okay? And to to know how to handle I can pray on it for a short amount of time and then respond in the right way the the way Jesus calls me to respond.

That needs to be my first recourse. Now here's what I cannot do. I cannot run to everybody else and start to spread the offense. Even if my motives seem harmless. Too much division is caused when we run to others about our offenses and we fail to run to God in the actual person.

And it might be as harmless as, "Hey, I need you to help me pray about this." Yeah. Now, we want others to pray for unity. We do. But that's not the right approach, especially when we haven't prayed about it ourselves. We need to run to Jesus and not to everybody else.

So my admonition, pray with the caveat that you still go to that person in an expeditious manner. I don't want to override the text and add to it. I believe that praying for those who have hurt you is a positive step. Jesus said to pray for those who have spitefully used you. Pray for those who have persecuted.

Here's some helpful advice. Pray until the Lord sends you after your brother, like the shepherd left the 99 for the sheep. Pray until your motive is right. Pray until you want to win them and not just win an argument. Pray until you can do nothing else but go to them and go to them quickly.

Pray over it. Expedience is stressed in Matthew 5:18. And I want you to notice the verbiage of Matthew 18:15. He says, "Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you've gained your brother." This is critical.

Jesus is aligning with the the teachings of those days that these these things need to be handled in private. It was an honor shame culture for you to do that in a public way. You could have been ended up in the court if you did that. You did not want to openly shame your brother. It doesn't even really say to pray first.

I I added that part in. I think it helps. But Matthew 5, Matthew 18, they say go talk to them. Go. And also notice it doesn't say anything about sending an email or a text that's five pages long.

It speaks to someone going in person and talking with them in person in in private with the intent of winning them back and restoring them. The goal is to find that lost and wandering brother and sister to gain them back and seek reconciliation. I can't stress this enough. One of the reasons I can't stress it enough is because when you go in the spirit of humility and love and meekness with the right aim, there are very few scenarios in which the first step of going directly to your brother or sister does not work. Very few.

One of my professors, Dr. Ericson said in his studies and his experience, over 90% of church conflict was resolved when one party simply went to another. It's almost as if what Jesus was saying actually works. Like this works. Go to them personally, privately.

and the rare events that your conversation goes south or it does not result in repentance and reconciliation, then go to them with a witness or an impartial party. This is usually the step that gets skipped. People may go straight to the pastor or straight to the church. But this is critical. Jesus wanted the situation to be handled with the understanding you would bring a witness who was upright, impartial, and not false or skewed.

The Bible does not like false witnesses. It's got a few choice words for them. They have to have pure motives. Ideally, that person will be a mediator. Someone who can bring the parties together and someone who's a trusted member by both parties.

Maybe an elder, trusted member of the church, someone that both parties respect and agree upon in our case. After that, only after that, if that didn't work, you'd bring it before the assembly and others. This usually in our setting plays out in a pastoral context. This is the third attempt and they have not repented. That's the the setup for this.

Then there are contacts that involve the synagogue and the leaders of the community. And again, the intent is always it's not to bring them before everybody and say, "All right, let's hash this out in public. It was to do it in private." And the intent was for those church leaders to add any weight they could to that reconciliation and to try to get that person to repent. They were the keep it hard. had the desire to see them restored.

Only if they were completely unrepentant before that entire community would you ever treat them like a tax collector or a pagan. And there's at least three different things I've seen on that disputes on what that actually means. Eugene Peterson would say something along the lines of, "Well, a tax collector and a pagan is an unbeliever. So now you're just trying to reach them again. That's why he says start from the beginning." So he's basically you're in an eternal loop.

You just keep going after them. That's one opinion. Another opinion is that uh this passage is written to individuals. So it's not the church community that treats them in that way. It's just you and you may have to dissociate from them a little bit because two can't necessarily walk together with the intent that maybe that separation will compel them to come back.

That one maybe uh you know I don't know how much I agree with that. The the last take is if if the entire church community is involved that that if that person says I will not repent. I will not make amends. I don't want to reconcile. I don't want to adhere to God's law.

And the church community has to treat them as though in this case that they were an unbeliever. But the intent was even still that they would still come back. There's only one occasion that I know of where this ever happened in the early church. It's in first Corinthians with a person who had made an egregious sin and would not repent. And this is what Paul said.

He said, "Turn him over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." People kick them out. Get rid of them. The only time you turn them is if you if that's the only recourse. They won't repent. And if and the if you have the intent that maybe maybe they'll turn back, it's always reconciliation.

Always. The goal is always to see them restored. And that's only after if every other step within the community is taken at that point. In order to really drive this home further, help someone that may be struggling with this just face to face. We got a couple minutes.

I want to show you just how simple this can be in a in a mock scenario. I'm going to have my brother help me. He's going to come and we're going to just walk through what this might look like, what a potential interaction might look like. I know that this may be difficult and I don't know how many of you have had conversations like these before in the past, but really what I've learned is I get worked up over these things and then they really aren't that bad. Now, some of them can be bad.

Okay, I'll just uh I'll level with you. But if I go in with the right mindset and I'm prayerful and I'm seeking the Lord and I want to win my brother There are very few times when we don't come together. So, let's just say I heard my brothers talking about me behind my back, said some things about me and this would never happen. He's got my back and uh we don't fight like we used to, you know. But I was actually struggling coming up with scenarios of why I'd be mad at my brother.

And I wanted to just for what it's worth, I heard of pastor Harrove. He said, "Be the hardest person in the room to offend." You need to be the hardest person to offend in the room. So, make up in your mind, I'm not going to be easily offended. James has something to say about that. There, this is a uh the responsibility of a believer that wants to be connected that if I offend someone, I'm going to make it right.

Someone truly offends me, I'm going to do my best not to be offended, but if I am, I'm going to go to them. Let's just say my brother offended me and the only time I may ever use this is to say, "I want to meet with you in person. Can we set up a time?" My text may be as simple as, "Hey, my friend, would you have any time in the near future to meet? I'd like to talk to you." I'm not going to send them something that can be taken out of context or something very sensitive. I I want to I want to meet with them face to face.

And in the meantime, I'm processing all this in prayer. I'm asking the Lord for his help. Help me to have the right spirit. I'm praying that my brother's heart uh would not be uh contentious, that his heart would be softened. I'm praying that we'd come together and if I missed anything, that God would help me to see it.

So, my brother agrees to meet and we get together face to face. Let me say this. People are far less evil when you're looking at them in the eyes. Far you may start looking at them like a brother rather than an enemy. far less evil.

So, I may start with this. Okay. Hey, I want to talk to you about something sensitive. Would you mind if we just pray real quick before we start? You may, well, how you going to insert that?

I'm telling you, if you do it, if there's any tension, the Holy Ghost will help you with that. And he'll give you the words and the wisdom. If you invite God into the equation, it will go so much better. So, we pray. If you know me, I I tend to beat around the bush a little bit, but if I was in the ideal scenario, I would start with, I want to talk to you about something that I I heard recently, and I just want to get your side on this.

And I'm looking at my notes, but I I want to look him in the eye. I was talking with a mutual friend, and they said that you said I was a horrible preacher, and I talked too fast, and you called me an empty head, you know, and this is through the great vine. So, I wanted to ask you about it directly. I just wanted didn't want to just take their word and you you may have another side. Maybe you didn't even say it.

Um I just I wanted to ask you about it. Do you remember saying that or did you say anything like that? And and if you did, you can tell me. I noticed a few things. I'm making a little lie.

This Yeah, empty head, but maybe true. These are difficult conversations. They are hard. Those words are difficult to get out. But I'm also trying to give my brother the benefit of the doubt.

There are always two sides. Always. And and that benefit of the doubt may only come through prayer. So, I'm extending an olive branch and not an accusation. And I'll let my brother respond.

Yeah, I I did say that. I don't know why I did. I think I was trying to be funny, but I really didn't mean it. And I'm truly sorry if I hurt you. I will not do that again.

Okay, I can say that response of some Well, yeah, you know, that sounds pretty polished, but that is a is a pretty typical response. Not always. We'll get to if it isn't. And it's at this point I could exact a pound of flesh. I could.

The Bible said, "If my brother repents," which includes more than a an apology, I forgive. Now, I can ask questions to make sure I'm clear. I can be honest, and I can, you know, I may find it difficult to to drop everything in that moment, instantly forgive. Some of those things hurt and hurt deeply. It may be more than just a comment that was said.

I may even respond by saying, "I forgive you." um this this hurts. I don't know why you would do that and it may take me a little while for our relationship to to be restored, but I do forgive you and I'm so thankful you were honest with me and and I don't know if I did something to offend you or if if there may be some truth to that criticism. I I do talk too fast. Uh if there's anything, you know, that I've done wrong, uh I I want to be clear that I that that's not right either. I'm trying to bring us together.

That's the goal. Trying to win my brother. And even with that that hurt and wound, you notice this conversation. Some don't take five minutes, but it can take five minutes and it can resolve years. Years of future pain and heartache and division.

This is not just a hypothetical, okay? How many of you have ever had a conversation similar to we just did? Anybody? Couple of you have. Brian and I were blessed to live in a home with parents that took this seriously.

I can tell you just in my teenage years, I had three very difficult conversations. Two of them were with bosses. One of them screamed at me in front of the entire uh workforce. It wasn't Bishop. I didn't work here as a teenager.

Just so we're clear. I remember me and dad having a conversation and we concluded, you need to go to him. And I went and I apologized and he apologized. It was I think I was 15. Another one with a leader of mine.

I had to go in his office and confront him. Every time another time I was going to mention family, very deep personal issue within family. We were there for more than five minutes. It might have been an hour and a half, two hours. We've never dealt with that issue again.

I I was prepping for this and I just felt I need to tell someone. You need to talk to your family. This is for someone specific. You have neglected to talk to them. You've got to talk to them.

You cannot leave that unsaid. Someone has to say something. Someone has to be courageous and step up and send the text that leads to a conversation or just walk up and say, "I need to talk to you with the right spirit." Someone needs to pray until you're reconciled and you go to that person. There are eternal stakes to this stuff. In five minutes or 50 minutes or maybe even five hours can resolve a schism that if left unressed will bleed into eternity.

Jesus is serious about this. So please go to them and address it. And again, I'm circling back. If you've got an issue in your family and you can do something about it, Paul said, "If as much as it depends upon you, make peace with all men, make peace. Live peaceibly." And that includes your church family as well.

In our scenario here, we've shown happens when the person repents. But what if they don't? What if they lie and it's your word against theirs or someone else's? That can get awkward. If they deny it, you can ask them further questions.

Now, don't grill them. You're not they're not in a uh you know, in the hot seat necessarily, but you can ask them further questions for clarity. Say, did you say something that may have confused that person? You say something along you you can engage them and maybe be ready for that. Do you know why a friend would say that?

And and maybe I can talk to them and see what actually happened. I can tell you that there are some times when I've asked those questions and I've gone back to the other person No, I didn't mean it like they actually didn't say it like that. They may have just been kind of shooting the breeze and didn't think that you would take it that seriously, but we take unity seriously. Or if they say they did it but don't repent and they hold the line, the issue becomes more serious. Maybe they've had past grievances against you and all that comes to the surface.

It becomes bigger. If they don't repent and do not want to be reconciled in that moment, then you've got to act further a second time. I can tell you and I don't have uh decades necessarily as the senior pastor in this respect, but to date I think I've only encountered one time that it had to go to this level and not with any persons that attend this church. The recommendation at that point was to get a leader that was trustworthy and impartial witness and to set up a time to meet with him. And then that person, they're not you're not going to that person to say, "Hey, I'm going to get you on my side and you can." That person's a mediator.

That person is there to be impartial. Their function is to add force to the persuasion. If they will not listen that he may be convinced by two or three witnesses. It's generally harder to refute two or three persons who are coming to win you than it is one. Especially if that second person is respected.

It adds weight to the matter. It increases the probability of reconciliation. And that is the goal. In the extreme case that those don't work, then you bring them before the church. Only, and this is Jesus's words, only after both other steps are fulfilled does Jesus recommend going before the church involving synagogue leadership, in our case, church leadership.

This is what Craig Keenir says, and drawn to a close here in a minute. He says this discipline this this act of going before these elders and then if it doesn't work uh the the the discipline after that he says after the most severe level of discipline the offending member will be treated as a pag instead of a Jew in their culture but they would still give the person a final warning before taking action. every recourse is taken before if if this uh scholar is correct excommunication and then they still do another act of mercy. I read one work that that said their repentance even after the fact would let them return although their reputation is damaged at that point. The goal is always to win them back.

It's always to win them back. Jesus in this passage and others was stressing the need. Go to the furthest extent to win back your leave the 99. Go find him. In the next verses, Peter asks, "Lord, how often should I offend my brother?

How often should I go after or uh rather forgive him if he offends me up to seven times?" And Jesus says, "I don't say to you seven times, but 70 times seven." That's the content. And then he tells us the story of the unmerciful servant drives home the point we've got to forgive a brother. Do you think Jesus cared about reconciliation? This connection thing, it may be closer to his heart than most other things. If Jesus cared enough to write quite a or inspire quite a bit of the New Testament letters to address this very thing, the odds are he cares deeply about your relationship with your brother and sister.

I think some might even call Jesus's views on reconciliation extreme. These were the links he called us to go to in order to gain and win our brother. It's the embodiment of the words of Paul. As we come to a close, you can stand with Thank you to my brother helping me out. Paul in Ephesians 4, we started with this passage.

Bishop started with it week one. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. And then as I said, as much as it depends on you, he said, live peaceibly with all men. How do we do that? because it's not always perfect.

It's not I'm not going to ask you a show of hands, but odds are if you've been in the hospital that is the church for longer than a couple years, your connection with others has been challenged. You've been around people for more than a couple years, it's been challenged. That's why Jesus gave us a plan and we've got to follow. And I know that it's hard. I know that it's hard.

and conversations like that. Some of us would rather get a root canal. I've never had one, but I probably would right now. They're just so necessary, church. They can last five minutes or maybe five hours.

It they can impact eternity. And the end result is spelled out right there in Matthew 18. Just like the lost sheep was found, Jesus said, "If your brother hears you, you have gained your brother or your sister. You win. You truly win.

You gained a soul. Some time ago, I had to put this into practice in a in a difficult way. I'm speaking from experience when I say there was some hard conversations that had to happen, some severe hurt and wounds that need to be addressed. But I can say it's one of the greatest joys of my life. so uncomfortable at times.

One of the greatest joys of my life when I was reconciled with my brother, one of my friends. I can tell you the spot where we came back together and I told him, it's like, I got you back. I want that for someone here today. Someone here today wants that. You've been wounded, but it's time to heal and win your brother or sister as well as your freedom.

and forgiveness. And it can start with a simple and honest prayer and then a conversation. We're going to pray that God would help us. I feel the Holy Ghost in this room. The Lord's dealing with us and stirring us.

There's a family member that you need to talk to quickly. There's someone you need to go to. Would you lift your voice with me and ask for God's help? Maybe you're not dealing with offense right now, but would you pray that the Lord would help you when those offenses do come? Oh God, I feel your spirit in this room, Lord.

Because you know, you know every uh every schism, Lord. You know every hurt and every wound. And you know what we're facing and you know the things, Lord, that have plagued us and even the things that we've held on to. And I pray that you would stir in us, Lord, the courage uh and the and the act of obedience to go and to win a brother or sister or family member. Uh if there's any schism in the body, Jesus, if there's any there's any line, if there's any division, Jesus, if there's any tension, Lord, I pray that you would help us to be vigilant.

Uh that you would help us, give us the wisdom and the words, and help us to have the right spirit. And I pray that you'd help us to go just as you said in Matthew 5 and Matthew 18. Help us to go and to speak to our brother or sister and to win them and gain them for eternity. Jesus name. Jesus name.

I've said it multiple times now, but I need to say it again. The stakes are high. They're very high. They're eternal. That's not a scare tactic.

It's just a reality. So I implore somebody do the the hard thing, spiritually mature thing and go. And if you need help, if you need help, I know we'll do this in the right way. I just talked about the sequence of things, but find trusted someone that you can counsel with. Check your spirit.

If you need to come talk to me, I'll talk to you. We need to do this in the right way. Our connection matters and I believe that we're going to win brother and sister.