Relationship

I believe that we're in a point of inflection. Points of inflection mean we look in say, "What do we got to get right, God?" And I believe that God's got some things for us to get right. Okay? And We follow the order of God. Follow the order of God. It's a lot easier for our families and our homes to be right when we're right. Guys, that's just it.

Plain and simple. I uh Thank you. Thank you, brother Herb. I I've got I've got a I've got a slow opening today. Going to talk about relationships. So, Lauren, you want to step out. So, you can't say the uh you know, speaking of speaking of being right, I uh I'm married, so I'm I'm pretty much always right now. So, yeah, Lauren and I were were dissecting a disagreement we had dissecting.

And so, we were looking at how did that how did that go? You know, in that order of things, guess what? I was wrong first. And then what that did was cause a reaction to be wrong sec her to be wrong second. And I was looking at that and and as we were talking through this in the aftermath of that conversation, right? Uh anybody say, "Oh me, what's he doing?" And I was, as I was looking at that, it really it really landed home with me why God put an order because it's real hard to bring balance when you're wrong.

I today uh I I I started out I was teaching the the uh youth class today and uh I don't know how to tell you parents this, but they perked up. They actually listen today because you know what I started asking them? Asked them about relationships. Buddy, they perked up. I was like, uhoh, parents are not ready for this. Uh so so as I was I was asking I was like, "Guys, what's how how would you how would you give a foundation of a relationship?" Uh the girls were all over this.

They were like, "Oh, I know. Oh, I know. They were like communication like oh I was like so what's that mean? You know like he's got to listen like what about you? It got got a little tight there for a second. What do you mean? Well, communication is a two-way street, right? Yeah. Uh it involves a lot of talking and a lot of listening. Uh, and and and a lot of listening to just understand, not to respond.

How hard is that, [name redacted]? Where you at, [name redacted]? Oh, there she is. She has not She has not mastered that art. She's real She's real squippy, real snippy. She's got to come back for everything. You know why? She's listening to respond. How many of us do that? We, you know, we Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm real good at that, too. Yeah. Real good. We We all get there.

Where we at on this? I got a screen today, but I pulled I pulled a late one on on Dylan. He's he's so kind to me. So, he, you know, he he's very kind. You're gonna you're going to hate this, but it's I'm I'm telling you, it's gonna it's going to work. Uh how much how what about what what's a foundation of a relationship? Somebody said trust.

trust. Well, you can't have a relationship without trust, can you? Not much of one. Uh it that that goes through, you know, then that that kind of led into honesty and safety of you've got to feel safe. Now, I took a moment here and I said to the boys, I gave them some dating advice. Yeah, that was not good. They started writing stuff down. I was like, "Please erase that where I'm going to get in trouble." I was like, "You need to do something that's like exciting.

I said the all the wrong words. Don't ask them. I liked do something exciting and she'll trust you more. Did you do that one? Absolutely. I was like, sure enough, did I was like, you got to manipulate those emotions, dudes. Yeah. You got you got to do it right now. Yeah. I was I was I was picking at them and then and then and I talked with them just a little bit about value systems.

What's a value system to you? And they were like, I great value. I don't know. Like they were They were pretty mad. They They were not. So So I'm I'm going to catch this up here. I'm going to go. So this is relationships. All right. Now, is that right? All right. Now I am writing with my finger. All right. Oh, rel relation. It's somewhere in there. All right.

They were being a bunch of grammar Nazis to me. So we have communication. All right. And then we have trust. In in those things, we start we start building at least and this this can be a work relationship. This can be a a familiar. This can be a dating relationship. You've got to have those things. You've got talking. And then we get to value systems. We got to value systems.

And I asked them, I said, "All right, guys. What's a value system? that you have. Uh they're like 14, so they don't they don't know what that is. When you think about a value system in your life, what what matters to you at the core of who you are? It's it's the non-negotiables. I told them uh you know I just just one of the reasons why that that I was able to that I feel like where Lauren and I met was our value systems were very similarly aligned.

Um we uh we were both raised in pastor's homes. with that comes a comes a level of pressure, a level of just similar experiences that you can align a value system to. I was like, and and here's the funny thing is a lot of times people with value systems find themselves aligned or in the same group. So, you ever heard of birds of a feather? Birds of a feather, they flock together.

That's that's a value system. When we If you want to know what you value, right, you look around. You look at you look at what what you're engaged in, what who you're around, what you're encouraging. That value system that that tells the core of your being. And then then I was then we we came across common goals. Uh, you know, there's something and and this may be something.

Oh, I I misspelled it in in class, but how many of How many of y'all is this more distracting because of my bad handwriting? Good. You'll pay attention to it, right? Common goals. Uh, when you're There's There's something very cool about working toward a common goal with some with someone of setting of setting a budget and working it. No, no. All right, never mind. That was a bad common goal.

Of setting a spending shopping spree and working it. Here we go. Vacations. Planning a vacation together. That's That's Lauren and I's love language right there. We love going on trips. Um little man, we got to talk about that. We got a kid up for adoption. If you vote, you you'll take. Oh, look at that. Look, we're good, babe. We're good. We got somebody taking right now. Then there's somebody said quality time.

Quality time. That's not just time. That's intentional time. That's quality time together. If you've ever built a relationship and and and I'll say this, this this this can be a mother, father, son, daughter, friend, uh uh cousins, like how many how many how many yesterday uh I I got to I got to go with uh for the Sloan to the Sloans to uh the Sloan's aunts um memorial service kind of just gathering there.

You know, you know who gathered together and talked to one another? cousins everywhere all across the room. I didn't know the peeps, okay? Like I I don't I don't know that that that part extended part of the family. Cousins cousins hung out and just like and you know what? Chances are your cousins one of your best friends, but you you have you have these communications, the trust, the value system, the common goals maybe may or not come and go, but you have you spend quality time with them growing up.

And then somebody said, "Respect." Respect. What is all right now? Sister uh did did you teach on this in your class, Sister Horton? Oh. Oh, man. Y'all y'all need to go to her class next week, teenagers, and and fix whatever I messed up. Okay. Like, parents, y'all gonna be mad at me. Please don't. We were we were working through we were working to a point here. Because here's the thing is in all these relationships I said I said in this in this because honestly these guys got it grabbed their attention.

Parents, you better watch out. It's good for them. All right? It's healthy. Don't forget that. I said, "All right, guys. How do we turn this? How do we build a relationship with God? How do we be very simple with this? How do we be very straight? How do we build a relationship with God?" Because if we can break down and and identify and and here's here's think some some some kids said some things that oh I just heard my mom say that.

I was like well I'm probably not going to write that one down. How how if we can if we can synthesize down a relationship and we can start to to to build some framework for how those work and and we can start picturing that in our everyday life. Then we can start applying that that concept to a God that that desires a relationship with us. But sometimes we struggle because we get intimidated by God.

No, I'm just the only one. Just the only one that gets intimidated by an all powerful, all controlling, all almighty, all holy, wonderful, all creator of everything, God. I'm I'm the only one. Okay. All right. I mean that's hard to think about to think how do I intentionally shape my life so that that I can have a relationship with a holy God. I mean it's overwhelming. So we go if we break it down we look at it and we say all right how does my communication skills work?

How are my communication skills with God? And can I ask you, how's your prayer life? How many how much of your prayer life is God just sitting there and hearing you, right? God's probably got you on mute sometimes. I mean, he like he calls up Buddha. Hey, will you take this line? That was a good one, wasn't it? He doesn't do that. He's like, "All right, how how much of our time and and and I'll say I don't know that Western society has a really good way of of putting this, but if if you have if you have looked at how people meditate and and that's some of those Eastern religions that that may have done a better job at framing that conversation, but that meditation with God, what that God, I've got this issue and I don't know about you, but I am real good at finding problems that I don't know how to solve.

I am real good at it. And then I'll just sit there and just get hung up on them. God, I I I don't know how to fix this problem. I don't know how to fix this. God, I don't know how to fix this. And he's like, if you just be quiet for a minute, dude. If you just listen to me for a minute. If you just sit back and relax for just a minute.

If you just meditate now, not not just go on and do something else, but you would consciously just just take a moment and take a breath with me. Do you know do you know the answers that will come? Do you know the answers that will come when we consciously focus our mind on God? It's hard. It's hard sometimes. It's hard. But you know if you have to sit in the corner and go okay do it.

I don't know consciously focus our minds on God. When we get to we start looking at trust. How many trust God? Yeah. Somebody said uh what was it you said [name redacted]? What was what did you say? What was you like just trusting on leaning on the Lord? It's like would you get that from your grandma? Like I was like what that mean? What's that mean? I don't know.

Okay. Trusting God. We trust God. We we take something to God. And sometimes we we we try to trust him, but we don't trust him. We try to and we try to. And God, I trust you with it, but oh, let me come back and fix it. Uh God, I trust you with it, but let me come and uh meddle in it just a little bit. God, I trust you with it.

Uh but you know what? I can do this. It's like, well, that's not really trusting God. But can I ask you because this is a two-way street. Does God can God trust you? Because here's the thing. This this church is this is a this isn't a d this is a dynamic church. This is an incredible church. I I promise you. You you look we have an incredible amount of of just doing.

And that is that's incredible. That is learning. That is doing. That is learning responsibility. The lights don't just turn themselves on unless we put them on a timer. All right. But somebody's got to set the timer. the the the the air doesn't just come on. The walls don't just paint themselves, do they, Sister Chris? No. No, it was her. She was just afraid to speak out, wasn't it?

The that it doesn't just happen. We have a church that has a mind to work. We have a You guys, I promise you, week in and week out, day in and day out, you are doing the work. And sometimes it feels like it's too much. Sometimes it feels like you've got so much on your plate. You've got all the things in the world and you're like, man, why have I got to do this one more thing?

Why have I got to why have I got to do this one more thing at the church? Why have I got to do this one more thing? Why have I got to make this one more prayer for somebody? And it just feels like a lot. Does anybody feel Is that just me? You got you with me, Sister Jen? Got one with me. That So, so we're we're there.

We're working. We're learning the responsibility, but sometimes we feel like the relationship is failing. But can I tell you, you've got you you can't have a good relationship without good responsibility. You can't you can't just willy-nilly through life and be like, I have a great relationship with everybody. And they can't count on you. What What does he say about an unfaithful friend in the day of calamity?

That's a proverb. Can God trust you? There is there is a there's a weighty there's a weightiness to responsibility that I believe and I have personally experienced. Sometimes there's there's an axis here of responsibilities up here and relationships down here. It's out of balance. And sometimes it's out of balance this way. Relationship's great, but I ain't doing nothing. And then you know what you have to do?

That's life. Sometimes a responsibility will sustain you when you're not able to sustain a relationship. It's just good to just be in the house of the Lord. It's just good to do the things of God. There is a platitude of serving that we forget that serving is not is more than just it's not a privilege. It's a spiritual discipline. Just like reading our Bible, just like praying, just like fasting, just like visiting with the elderly or or being there to the fatherless.

That's a spiritual discipline. It's not something that's convenient. It's not something that's easy, but it is a spiritual discipline to help what? Get us in alignment with God. when we when we started we started looking at this trust. I really I really I really really wonder how many times that we get down on ourselves because right we can God trust me and then we're like God can't I let him down.

Can I tell you? Can I tell you today's a new day? You let him down. Guess what? I let him down too. Guess what, Jed? You may have let him down. I don't know. You're pretty good, right? Tomorrow's a new day and tomorrow's a new day and the next day is a new day. There's a reason why that we we get to the point that we say, "Okay, now my my my life is is not lining up.

My life is not measuring up. God, I I I can't I can't balance this. I'm I'm I'm I'm not worthy of this." You know what God's calling you to do? He's calling you to submit your will. God, my will is under your plan. It's like, man, well, God, I I I messed it up again. Yeah. Okay, submit your will again. It is not repentance. True repentance is not easy.

It's hard. It It hurts. God, I was wrong. How many of that How hard is that in a relationship? And there's evidence staring you right in the face. Imagine, you know, you know how hard it is with God? Yeah. He's like, "You know what? He was wrong. But yeah, God, I was wrong. Then we get to a value system. Can I say God doesn't adopt our value systems?

It'd be a really messed up world if he did. I asked Sister Unice, Sister Ununice, can I borrow your Bible? Because I didn't I didn't have my Bible. I used a digital Bible. I know that's a shame. This This whole word right here is God's value system. I can't help but think of of of the pastor that I I had a privilege of knowing in my lifetime that couldn't even read.

He'd never learned how to read, but he was a pastor. He would sit his wife was so kind and would sit and read to him the word for him to study. He he never learned how to read. He was now he was an old man when I was a young when I was a kid. Okay. But I had the privilege to meet him and to know him.

He loved the word so much that he found a way to learn it. He found a way to allow that word to seep into his life. He he adopted the value system of Christ in his life. Can I tell you when we adopt the value system of Christ in our life, his will and our will start to align. Because what? Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus.

It's taking those things of how would Christ think. How would he do? And and we're putting that into the system of our actions, our thoughts. We don't have to pray before we take a step because we know our steps are ordered of the Lord. We don't have to take our decisions and our processes go through the value system of Christ. It's hard. But can I tell you, you cannot go through the value system of Christ if you haven't read his word.

If you haven't studied his word, you're not going to get enough of it here. We try our best. I promise you, we would teach seven days a week if possible. We would have classes around the clock if possible, but it's not possible. It's not practical. But you know what is reading God's word. You know what is STUDYING GOD'S WORD. YOU KNOW what is letting this word be the foundation of my life.

It is not A HAPHAZARD THROWN TOGETHER DOCUMENT. It is the foundation. It is the truth of all truths. It will stand the test of time. It is what our life should be laid upon. I I want to I want to challenge you. I I have I I learned this just a few weeks ago and it has rocked me to my core. And I want you to know that I am I I'm just like I'm like trying to figure out what to do.

And I hope and pray that we can overcome this. But I learned a few weeks ago that according to a survey done by a professor at Iran that seven out of 10 coeness apostolic college students had not read their Bible through in a year ever. I was floored. And he was like, "Guys, I don't know what to do about that." And I was like, "I don't know what to do about that." But can I say as a church body, can I issue this challenge to us?

We better to let that rock us to our core. We better to make sure the word is the foundation of everything we do. Can I tell you, if you're feeling burned out, if you're feeling scattered, if you're feeling like you just don't have enough purpose and you ain't got enough fuel in you, you got to get the word in you. God's word will be what gets you through day in and day out.

I I cannot I know I know I know that doesn't follow maybe uh conventional psychology or wisdom but I'm telling you what God's word will do. It will be there when no one else is there. WHEN NO ONE CAN SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU, GOD WILL ALLOW HIS WORD to guide you and direct you. IT WILL COME. HE WILL BRING IT TO YOUR REMEMBRANCE. HE WILL BRING IT TO YOUR MIND and it WILL BE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM WITH YOU.

IT'LL BE IN THE FUNERAL HOME WITH YOU. IT'LL BE AT the ball game with you. IT'LL BE IN THE CAR WRECK WITH YOU. It'll be in the delivery ROOM WITH YOU. WHEN GOD'S WORD IS IN YOUR LIFE, IT WILL never lead you. I I know I this is not even that's not even but I'm just it's not even my main point today. BUT I'M TELLING YOU GOD'S WORD is something that we have to make sure in this in this church, in this city, IN OUR HOMES, IN OUR LIVES, WE CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT GOD'S WORD BEING THE CENTER OF IT.

I AM SORRY, BUT I I PROMISE YOU I I IT seems like all of ministry is dealing with the choices that people make from 18 to 25. That seems like that's 80% of what ministers do is they deal with whatever choices we made in that time frame. What we can blame it on something else or whatever, I don't I don't care. But it in that time frame when our minds are still developing and we're like over here just being wild heathens that seems like where ministry is spent the rest of our lives we're trying to work that out.

Can I tell you can I beg of you get the word of God in your life. Can I can I young parents, teenagers, young kids, you can read the word through. IT'S NOT TOO HARD. I PROMISE YOU, you can do it. Adults, you can read the word through. IT'S HARD, BUT IT'S NOT TOO HARD. You can read the word through. There is something that comes when studying the word that THE WILL OF GOD STARTS to make sense in our life.

We start then our value system starts aligning with God's goals and what he wants to accomplish through us. Then our quality time starts looking like quality time that's not about me but it's about him. Then my respect for the things of God, what do they do? They go up. Because I am not just I I I am I I'm not just tied to a worship experience. I am tied to a word of God.

You see, there's one last there's one last thing that I think that's part Hang on, hang on, hang there. We Oh, there we go. Hey, we're still working on this, okay? And how the best to like integrate this into it. But this is the way I like to and preach. It's just my just my jam. Guys, there's one last thing, shared experience when you're a relationship. I've never heard of an elderly couple.

I'm I'm going to speak from this. I've never heard of an elderly couple that looked back and said, "You know what was the most the best thing in our life? It was it was that house." Now, it may have been building that house and it may have been how close they came to not building the house or it may have been it may have or they said what what was it wasn't even just the kids.

It was the raising of the kids. Wasn't just life. It was life together. was a shared experience. It was a shared experience. You know, I I I sat back and I thought there's there's this restaurant that Lauren and I went to that was uh it was Italian restaurant. It was picturesque. I mean, it looked like Don Corleó built this restaurant. Okay. Like I mean, we went in and we're se we're we're seated.

I have never tasted spaghetti noodles that had flavor. Those Spaghetti noodles had flavor. I don't even know how. It was incredible. I was blown away. I I had literal tears in my eyes, guys. Literal tears. No, you have no idea how much I like food. Like good food. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Come on now. the the but but there was that and and and and I I could take I mean like and I'm I'm a very I'm very like visual location based so I can I know exactly how to walk to it.

I know exactly what table we sat at where we were at. Don't remember what she was wearing. That's part of it. Sorry babe. But I know all those other things. I even know what the waiter looked like. You know all that good stuff. That was a shared experience for us. We went to this restaurant. I I've been trying to go back ever since. I'm scared to go back because you know what?

It probably won't be nearly as good. We'll get in there. It'd be terrible. It tastes like What's that place? Olive Garden. It tastes like Olive Garden. I'll be so mad. It's like the Walmart of Italian places, you know? You're like or Dollar General. I don't know. Terrible. Shared experiences. I don't know how many of you have have a shared experience that you you cling to sometimes you look at and say you know what we did that or we went there or Jaden I don't know about you buddy I'm just messing I don't know how many of you have that but I can tell you something that God designed something for us to have a shared experience with him.

Acts 238 very simply. Tyler Tyler parttook in part of this today. Acts 238. Yeah. It's what's it say? It says repent. And Peter said to him, repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. That's a shared experience that every believer has to have. Because let me tell you something, good, bad, and ugly, is going to come in your relationship with God.

There's going to be times when you're saying, "God, where are you?" And he's going to be like, "Yeah." He like, "Where you at, God?" Where you at? Where you at? You're ugly. The shared experience that you have with the infilling of the Holy Ghost. The shared experience of repentance, of submitting your will to God, the shared experience of being baptized not into a church but into Christ that will sustain you in the good, bad, and the ugly.

That very simply looks like saying, "God, I surrender. God, I trust your word. And God, I want to receive your spirit." That very simply looks like I want to I want to to spend time with you, God. All these other pieces of a relationship with God are great. There is nothing like the shared experience with God of God tearing the veil. We're talking about the Holy of Holies.

There was a day of atonement in in in Leviticus. There was a day of atonement that that it's in the seventh month is the day of atonement. The 10th day of the seventh month. It'll be a holy convocation. You shall afflict yourselves and present a food offering to the Lord. It's the day. It's the day that the priest went into the holy of holies. It's the day we're at one with God atonement.

See, on the day of Pentecost, that was the semblance. That was the that was the the fulfilling of that. That was the that was when when Peter said, "Repent and be baptized." That was on the day of Pentecost. And he's the veil's torn. The spirit's moving and allowing each and every one of us to encounter almighty God, but he's waiting on us. So, can I ask you to stand with me today?

This is this I understand this style of preaching and teaching sometimes it it it's maybe not the most like everybody get get the Holy Ghost, everybody get in the altar. But I want to ask you today, if you desire a relationship with God, if you desire a deeper walk with God, if you have just been going through life without any purpose, without any and just just looking for purpose in this and that and the other.

If you've just been you've been trying to and maybe you've you've been filled with the Holy Ghost before, but you you just you feel like God's just kind of where are you, God? And it's just a But can I ask you today if you would reestablish your relationship with God? Would you find a place to pray? Would you find a place to say, "God, I need to be filled with your spirit again.

Whether for the first time or the thousandth time, I need to feel your spirit changing me, making me a new creature, making me new so that I can be more like you. You see, that is the start of the shared values that we will have with Christ. IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO FIND them in and of ourselves. WE'RE NOT WORTHY. WE'RE NOT CAPABLE. We're not. We're just not.

There's a reason we feel inadequate when we come to Christ because we are. But can I tell you the adequacy is found when we surrender it all to Christ and we say, "Jesus, just fill me with your spirit. He said, "If you want to be born again, that's what it takes. Man must be born again." Well, that's kind of weird. That's what Nicodemus said. That's kind of weird.

Okay, he didn't say that, but it was close. Said, "You must be born again of the water and of the spirit." I don't know what you have fought with. I don't know what your desire is. I don't know where you feel like your relationship with God has failed. Can I ask you today to allow the spirit to move on you? If you've never experienced the gift of the Holy Ghost, God God will change your whole life in just a moment.

If you've never been baptized in Jesus name, God will change your whole walk in just a moment. If you've never repented of your sins, God will unbburden you in just a moment. It's not magic. It's just relationship. You can find a place Leviticus 9 or Leviticus 23 and 29. It's talking about the day of atonement. For whoever is not afflicted on that day shall be cut off from his people.

That afflicted means to be submitted. Whoever has not submitted their will to God shall be cut off. Can I say we've we've got some strong wills. Can I ask you to submit your will to God today? I don't know what God's dealing with you to do, but can I ask you to submit your will to God today? Can I ask you, God, move on us today, God?

I pray, Lord, that you would move on us today, God. We come hungry and ready for you. We've come searching for something that that we can't find anywhere else, God. I pray today, Lord, that you would allow your spirit to move upon us. you would allow the grace and the mercy of God to move upon us, God. God, I pray, Lord, upon this holy congregation, God, that you would allow the spirit of the most high God to overshadow us, God, to let the Holy Ghost to move upon us, Jesus, to let the anointing power of the Holy Ghost to change our lives today, God.

I can't do it. I I can't. I I wished I could, but God, I know you can't. And God, I pray Lord that you would allow the Holy Ghost just to change us, God. Every every part of our being, every part that we've misstepped, every part that we've tried and we've failed, every part that we've we've mistaken and we messed up. God, I pray, Lord, that you would let the Holy Ghost to settle upon us today.

God, let there be a let there be a sweet spirit. Hug us, God, today. Wrap us in your arms today, God. Let your spirit to change us from the inside out to make us in your image and into your likeness. Lord Jesus, please church, find a place to pray.